My Cat is a Bully

I adopted a new cat a few months ago he began to assert himself as the alpha cat. Only he isn't very nice to my previous cat. He doesn't let her on the bed and will randomly chase her and smack her. I've started to give him time outs in my bathroom/closet (I live in a studio there is no other place to do it) He sometime will just lunge for her and she will run or he will  chase her to the kitchen which will  take less then 5 seconds for there isn't much time for me to get there. By the time I get out of bed she has already hissed at him and they have parted ways. I don't mind one being alpha I just don't want him to keep bulling. I have enough room on my bed for both to sleep.

Oh his name is Oliver and hers is Cali.

I should probably also say the I've have contacted the foster and she said to hold him by the scruff and tell him no and not give him bed privileges. When he jumped on the bed and I set time on the ground he just jumped back up. We did this 4 time over. It was hard because ever time he would jump up he would rub against my hand and purr.  I was also told when he chases Cali off the bed to get him off the bed and put her back on. It going to be hard since a lot of this is  done at night. Another think I was told was to pet them both when I'm feeding them so they get positive associations with each other while feeding.

She then posted what I was going though on a cat forum she belong to and this was the reply 

"What I've read suggests that peace comes easier when the humans enforce the natural order of dominance. So, in addition to all the great items you listed, I recommend that she allow London (this was the cat name before I changed it to Oliver) to be top dog. Feed him first and on an elevated surface. Allow him the best spot on the bed. Pet him first. Hopefully, once he's feeling more secure, he won't feel so intent on proving himself all the time and will chill out. Vertical space will also help sort out dominance. 

I would give him a redirect (or a time-out if it escalates) when he's trying to "play" with her. 

Petting them at the same time can cause jealousy. Playing with them at the same time (with two different toys) and giving them treats one on either side of her achieves the same end: positive association.

If the adopter feels like she can't get the cart out of the ditch, she needs to start all over again. London gets iso'ed in the bathroom and SLOW (1 week minimum) introductions should commence. "

That is from someone who's sister has studied animal behavior. I tired putted his food up this evening but he didn't like it. I tried on the counter and on a chair and he just tired to eat cali's food on the floor. He wouldn't eat he's until it was on the floor.

Hi.

Please do not try touch your cats, either one of them, when they are having an altercation. And please please please do not scruff your cat or yell no at him.

Honestly the best thing you can do at this point is to leave the cats alone. Do not interfere with the cat dynamics in the house. Most things with cats would be worked out if people would just let them work it out. It is pretty rare that one cat will hurt another cat. Sure it could happen but mostly if cat A chases cat B and cat B can get away cat A will let cat B flee.

Please do not contact the foster for behavior advice because it is going to get you hurt or escalate the situation. If cat A chases cat B off the bed and you come along and put cat A off the bed and put cat B on the bed you are causing more stress and the next time cat A sees cat B cat B will be chased even more. Also cats often have redirected aggression and either one of the cats could bite or scratch you. Never get your hands anywhere near a cat confrontation.

People need to realize that cats are not small dogs and their behavior is way different. Although the fosters advice wouldn't work for dogs either. The advice of the lady with the sister in behavior might work for dogs but these are not dogs.

This is what I recommend and take from it what you will but if you try this do it all or don't bother.

For the sleeping arrangements:

If you want both cats to sleep on the bed together it isn't going to happen right now. If you want Cali to sleep on the bed then you will have to lock London out of

the room. If you do that you need to make sure both cats have access to litter pans and food and water. If you cannot do that then you will have to just deal with Cali not sleeping on the bed for now. Once you have left them to sort out their issues by themselves for long enough they will work out a sleeping arrangement.

Feed both cats on the floor where you normally feed them and give them each their own bowl. London can't eat out of two bowls at once. Cali will eat. Just don't put their bowls directly next to each other. Make sure they each have their own bowl of water as well. They should each have a litter box. They will both use each others box but there should be two.

If they get into a spat and one chases the other, ignore it. Do not yell or get up or anything. They won't kill each other. I doubt they will even hurt each other. The more you interfere the worse it will get.

Get a good water pistol. Doesn't have to be real good but just so it isn't a $1 or it will leak. Keep the water gun on your coffee table or wherever you are most of the time or carry it with you. If and only if you think one of the cats will be hurt, this would involve them vocalizing, both cats puffed up or rolling on the floor while vocal, fur flying etc. Then and only then squirt them, but do not make any noise yourself. So that means no yelling or saying anything, just aim and shoot at both of them multiple times and stop as soon as they separate. But do not do this except in an emergency.

Keep an eye on both cats food intake and litter box use. Do not let a cat go without eating. If Cali starts hiding and not coming out for food then put food where she is hiding. But it sounds like she has been eating right?

Remember that cats do not think like people do. They think like cats. Don't put human emotions thoughts onto them. They also communicate with other cats through body language and the eyes.

Playing is fine but make sure you do have two toys.

Below is some pictures of my two cats. This can show you the progression and escalation of a cat fight and how it will resolve. Also which cat do you think was the aggressor? It is not the big orange guy. The female torbi is always the one who starts it. She is half the other one's size and age. But as you can see they do work it out in the end, so long as I mind my own business and don't get involved. Neither one has ever hurt the other.

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I agree with pretty much everything @Quiet has said here. 

We have 4 cats, 3 of which are "family" (momma and 2 sons), the other is much older.  One of the sons, Loki, will pick on momma and our other older girl.  Here's the thing, Loki is a "momma's boy", as in with ME.  He really needs me to give him lots of cuddles and lap time.  I've noticed that his bully behavior seems to escalate when he has not had enough time with me.  When that happens, I try to give him some extra luvin's to help him feel more secure. 

Of course, I also give the others snuggle time, just not always in Loki's presence.

However, I rarely interfere if he is in the middle of an altercation with one of the others.  The most I've done was to call him off of our older girl, if he's been too persistent, because she is not exactly in the best of health to handle the stress.  But honestly, he's never really hurt her... just been a pest.  With the others, they usually work it out themselves.

We only have one rule at bedtime... no fighting on the bed.  Anyone starts tussling, they ALL get thrown off.  They have eventually worked out a system of who gets on the bed first, and who sleeps where.  Interestingly, Loki is usually last on the bed, but nobody takes "his spot".  In fact, whenever I've tried to encourage someone else into that spot, they move off in short order.

Cats... they have their own way of doing things.

OK I'm glad to hear  let them work it out. I've had them for several months now and that is what I've been doing and I was worried that I should have been stepping in for Cali because she was getting picked on and having to sleep in the kitchen. I was telling her foster I thought I would let them work it out but she said that when one cat picks on another she will scruf them like their mother does so they know whos boss. I'm thinking of getting a harness and taking him out in the hallways to burn off some energy.

I don't have to worry about her not eating. She is over weight while he is too thin. Often he will walk away from he food while half of it left and she will finish hers and then eat the rest of his. I think he would prefer 6 small meals a day while she would just stuff herself all day long.

Scruffing cats has it's place but it's in very special circumstances and best left to the professional types.  When it's done it is done to calm a kitty.  Sometimes a vet will do it with a fearful kitty and I have seen Jackson Galaxy do it once with a feral that a couple was trying to socialize.  I have never seen anyone that knows what they are doing lifting a kitty by the scruff.

scruffing a full grown cat is not a safe or appropriate way to pick them up.  yes, it has its place.  but usually only in extreme situations.  your cats are trying to negotiate their pecking order, so to speak.

i have three cats and one is more assertive than the other two.  my male cat, jake, often picks on piglet and sometimes samantha.  if jake sneaks up on piglet and she yells at him, samantha will go running to help... it's kind of cute.  my concern is that jake is 16 pounds and piglet is down to 8.6.  jake was feral, rescued from the street at about 5 weeks.  when we adopted him, we had an older male cat who was king of the house and really challenged jake.  once my old male died, jake and piglet (now the oldest) seemed to begging tussling more.  

i have a $2 water bottle that i got at the beauty store that i keep filled with water on my coffee table.  every once in a while when jake and piglet start getting into it i squirt them.  piglet is very vocal and will start growling and hissing almost right away when jake approaches her. i don't bring out the water bottle until she really starts yelling; piglet has this yowl-shout thing that just sounds like she's scared.  i know she's probably not in danger but i break it up at that point.  even if i get up and walk toward them, jake will disengage and fall on his side and show me his belly.  piglet hides.

my husband and i have noticed that when we spend extra time playing with them, jake seems less assertive.  in our case, i don't think it's just the new hierarchy in the house (my old male died two years ago and they're still fighting) - i think it's jake having a lot of energy.  sometimes the way he goes after piglet looks like he's trying to rough play, the way he used to play with our other male.  piglet does not want to play and immediately goes into defense mode, which then escalates.  when we really play with jake multiple times a day, he seems to go after piglet much less.  maybe you should try exercising your new cat more?

I normally don't see cali when she is being attacked but today I did. Cali had her ears back when she hissed and was hunched. I know ears back is a bad sign. If she was in a normal posture I'd feel a little better about it. How long does it take for cat for figure out the pecking order. At what point should I become concerned?

Ears back isn't a bad thing. It is just a display of either fear, aggression, annoyance, or listening to something behind them. So, the ears with the crouched body position would most likely be a sign of fear. What was he doing at the time?

A really good way to get inside a cat's head is through the tail. Don't assume anything about how a cat is feeling without looking at the tail.

It all depends on the cats with how long it will take them to work things out. I have had my younger cat for about 5 years now and the pictures I posted are from about a year ago.  They still get into it sometimes.

Just make sure that the smaller cat can get away if she needs to.

if you are really fearing for the safety of the smaller cat you can use the water bottle, sprayer, gun idea. Just if you do decide to use it, don't make a big production about it. Just point squirt and go back to what you were doing. I wouldn't do the water thing if it was me, but I don't know how bad they are fighting since I am not there.

Has either cat been wounded yet? What happens when you are not home?

I don't remember her tail from that instance. I want to say it was held close to her body. Some times she swipes it back and fourth but I don't normally see her when he is attacking her. Her ears were flat against her head. This night he kept chasing her and she got vocal. It was like when you hear cats fight out side. I know because to are 2 cats that live outdoor and sometimes get in fights. One cat will give loud back off/anger yells. That's the way she was sounding. I has to step in. There was one day a few days ago I woke up and cali was sleep with me and and I noticed one of her eye wasn't opened. I thought it was because she was sleeping but it still wasn't opening when I was feeding them. I tried to look at her eye and her other eye lid was closed and her eye was watering. I thought maybe he scratched her. I made an appointment for the vet when I was at work. When I got back her eye was partly open but she still walked around with it closed. The next day she was 90% better so I canceled the appointment. I think she might have gotten into some salt. It was because of this that I originally contacted the foster because I thought he scratched her.

I'm not sure what happens when I'm gone. I think they both sleep but I can't be sure.

This is just hard because I got another cat mostly so she would have a companion. I wanted her to have someone to sleep and groom with.

You can't make them be friends. Sadly you have to let them work things out themselves, but if they are getting vocal like cats outside fighting then that isn't good either. Do you have any idea what triggers the attacks? How big an area are they living in? I am curious as to what goes on when you are not there. If they are only fighting when you are around then you are doing something to trigger it. Is it food related? Do you think they are fighting around the times they are being fed? Do you think it is attention motivated? There has to be a reason they are fighting. Try to figure out what it is. Remember that in cat language a stare is an aggressive move so see if one cat is staring the other down. I would use water if they are fighting and being vocal but like I said before don't make a big deal out of it just spray with water and go back about what you were doing.

I would agree with Quiet here. Spray with water if it gets out of hand but let them figure things out. I watched a documentary a while ago which suggested that even hostile cats can live in close proximity once they've sorted their daily routines out. That means being awake at different times, eating at different times, and generally working around each other. It's something that comes naturally after a few weeks or months. I hope things get better soon!

My two male cats, Toby and Bugsy, are always going at it.  Toby is the Alpha but Bugsy doesn't let himself be pushed around.  They go at it!!  They have drawn blood and deep scratches from each other.  I just trim their nails so they don't hurt each other that much.  I believe the problem is most likely that they need more space in my small apartment.  I'm in the process of figuring out how to make my space more "vertical" for them so they can have more room.  Fifi usually stays out of the fights but when she gets picked on, she is the most vocal.  They pick on her bad!  Its so bad with her that I don't trim her nails so they don't pick on her much.  Can't do anything but let them figure it out, for now.  

OK, I've been trying to let them be but this morning there was a pretty big fight. It started when he work me up at 3:30 wanting to eat. When I first got him he wouldn't meow for breakfast until I got up so I thought I was encouraging bad behavior so I wasn't going to give in. He starting chasing Cali and I still didn't give in. Then it got real bad when he started chasing her around for about 15 seconds and they sounded like street cats. I was clapping my hands and yelling but they still weren't stopping. I put him in the bathroom for 15 minutes and petted Cali. 

I've been watching when they fight and to notice her tail and it is bent down at a 45 degree angel and sometimes does a slow swish. Her ears are back against her head. They don't wrestle, just chasing and smacking. I do agree my place is too small. I would try to get more vertical space if I hadn't just lost my job.

After I fed then at 5 he tried to chase her again and I picked her up and was holding her on the bed. He jumped up and I could hear her growling. He starting sniffing her tail and she swiped. 

It looks like this is just the ways it's going to be for the moment until I can find a job and move to a bigger place. Do you think just having a larger place will help them be friends or just calm them down? I know I 've also heard introducing a 3rd cat can sometime help. Obviously this would be after I got the bigger place.

Hi Library Lady,

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your kitties.

I had the same problem with my Charlie and Jet.

My question to you is, and if you already mentioned in the posts above, i'm sorry for repeating but i did not catch it...do you spend any time playing with Oliver? just Oliver alone??

My cat Charlie was the dominant one, and he still is. He likes to assert himself over my girl Jet. Sometimes things can get really bad, when they fight, they sometimes sound like street cats and it sounds like he's really hurting her. I can't do much here, but to distract them both with a loud noise, so they stop, and then distract Charlie with his favorite toy...allow him to take his aggression and energy out on the toy itself, and not on Jet. 

I also tried acknowledging Charlie first, he gets the attention first, he gets the food first, he gets the praise first. it does help, but you have to be patient and consistent. I found that it helps to just play with Charlie and tire him out. But they do sometimes get into fights, Most times Charlie would initiate it, and sometimes even Jet initiates it. Its just how they play sometimes. Thankfully, the fights have not been serious where one cat or both were injured. It is important to let them work it out between each other, and please don't be alarmed by whatever body language they decided to display to each other, they are communicating.

I would suggest getting some calming treats. They have helped me a lot. you can purchase them from any pet store, or on amazon.

I want you to consider looking out for moments when your cats do get along, and see how they are with each other when there is no animosity between them. because my cats fight, but they also snuggle and sleep together, and sometimes groom each other. sometimes what may seem violent to us, could just be play for them. also, some cats just scream a lot louder than others, even tho they're not hurt. reward them for their good behaviors, and when you are able to, definitely invest in some scratching posts and cat perches. one for each, and make sure Oliver's is higher than Cali's. Perhaps try to designate if possible certain spaces just for Oliver and certain spots just for Cali. Maybe a chair, or anything you can. My Charlie gets super aggressive and territorial over certain toys and furniture. He will NOT let Jet have them PERIOD. so, i try to designate, and if I cant, i just get rid of those certain things, or make sure neither one of them have access to it. it helps. and most importantly, just distract divert distract all of Oliver's attention whenever you can..and treat him afterwards for playing with you, instead of going after Cali.

Hi;

Sorry you lost your job. I had that happen recently too. It sucks.

So, you have to remember that these are cats and not dogs. You won't teach him anything for now. I would make sure you have the following:

1. I litter box per cat + one. So, three cats, four litter boxes.
2. Food and water bowls for each cat, in different areas.
3. Make sure that there is food and water in both bowls in both areas at all times.
4. A cardboard scratcher toy per cat.

Make sure you don't do the following:

1. Touch either of the cats when they are agitated.
2. Get involved in their cat drama
3. Pick up the cats (just for now till things settle down)
4. Give extra attention to the female cat
5. Yell at them when they fight or making any noise.

LibraryLady said:

I should probably also say the I've have contacted the foster and she said to hold him by the scruff and tell him no and not give him bed privileges. When he jumped on the bed and I set time on the ground he just jumped back up. We did this 4 time over. It was hard because ever time he would jump up he would rub against my hand and purr.  I was also told when he chases Cali off the bed to get him off the bed and put her back on. It going to be hard since a lot of this is  done at night. Another think I was told was to pet them both when I'm feeding them so they get positive associations with each other while feeding.
She then posted what I was going though on a cat forum she belong to and this was the reply 


"What I've read suggests that peace comes easier when the humans enforce the natural order of dominance. So, in addition to all the great items you listed, I recommend that she allow London (this was the cat name before I changed it to Oliver) to be top dog. Feed him first and on an elevated surface. Allow him the best spot on the bed. Pet him first. Hopefully, once he's feeling more secure, he won't feel so intent on proving himself all the time and will chill out. Vertical
space will also help sort out dominance. 



I would give him a redirect (or a time-out if it escalates) when he's trying to "play" with her. 



Petting them at the same time can cause jealousy. Playing with them at the same time (with two different toys) and giving them treats one on either side of her achieves the same end: positive association.



If the adopter feels like she can't get the cart out of the ditch, she needs to start all over again. London gets iso'ed in the bathroom and SLOW (1 week minimum) introductions should commence. "





That is from someone who's sister has studied animal behavior. I tired putted his food up this evening but he didn't
like it. I tried on the counter and on a chair and he just tired to eat cali's food on the floor. He wouldn't eat he's until it was on the floor.

Click to expand...

You can still feed him first.

Whisky used to bully blighty terribly until he knew blighty new whisky was Alpha cat.
Now they love each other so much. Even during the bullying stage there was love and even tenderness.
@QUIET: perhaps you can explain this. This happened during the bullying time.
Blighty was about 2 months from the street. Whisky was about 9 months old. A siamese who had been abandoned. Both males both 'done'. Sorry I've forgotten the word.
Blighty would ho to whisky and suckle. Whisky allowed it and would even lie on his side like mama would. Whilst he suckled he'd kneed and purr loudly. Whisky allowed this for 2-3 months and then put a stop to it. He'd either push him away without claws or would get up and walk away.

 @QUIET: perhaps you can explain this. This happened during the bullying time.
Blighty was about 2 months from the street. Whisky was about 9 months old. A siamese who had been abandoned. Both males both 'done'. Sorry I've forgotten the word.
Blighty would ho to whisky and suckle. Whisky allowed it and would even lie on his side like mama would. Whilst he suckled he'd kneed and purr loudly. Whisky allowed this for 2-3 months and then put a stop to it. He'd either push him away without claws or would get up and walk away.

Click to expand...

Hi, He probably got to big and it hurt. Or, the other cats in the neighborhood were peeking in the windows and laughing at him,