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If Heaven Had Voice Mail  

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
I found this on the net :laughing2 Hope you enjoy it as much as I did :laughing2

[color=royal blue]

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God
decided to install voice mail?

I'm not sure where the following came from, but it's
very clever piece called Dialing Heaven. You may have
seen it elsewhere, but just in case you haven't, here
it is. (I didn't want you to miss it.)


Imagine praying and then hearing this:

"Thank you for calling Heaven.
For English, Press 1
For Spanish, Press 2
For all other languages, Press "O."

Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries

I'm sorry. All of our angels and saints are busy
helping other sinners. However, your prayer is important
to us, and we will answer it in the order it was
received. Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:
God - Press 1
Jesus - Press 2
Holy Spirit - Press 3

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding, please press 4.

To find a loved one who's been assigned to Heaven,
please press 5, then enter his or her social security
number, followed by the "pound" sign. (If you
receive a negative response please hang up and try
area code: 666.)

For reservations at Heaven, please enter J-O-H-N,
followed by the numbers 3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about:
the age of the earth
life on other planets
where Noah's Ark is -
Please wait until you come for a personal office

Our records show that you have already prayed today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe
a religious holiday.

Please pray again on Monday, after 9:30 a.m.

If you are calling after hours and have an emergency
situation, please contact your local Pastor immediately
for assistance.
post #2 of 17
Catarina - I have read that before, but it's just as cute the second time. I especially like the one about dialing J-O-H-N 3-1-6 for reservations into Heaven. Thank you!
post #3 of 17
I have never seen that before, but it was great! so funny! (area code 666?!!! scary!)

post #4 of 17
Catarina, that was great, I'd never seen it before.
post #5 of 17
Thread Starter 

Hey you guys!


Sometimes, when I see something for the second time it's even more funny than the second? It's like a great comedy movie that never dies!

It's the first for me too! :laughing: I was laughing pretty hard about that 611 call too! :eek; Yikes :laughing::LOL:


I'm glad you enjoyed it....Mr. Cat sent me this really fun peice of mail today....

Hey Joe if you happen to read this...maybe you can post that California DL application!

Now that was funny too!! :laughing::LOL::laughing:

Love &
post #6 of 17
Thank You, Catarina. Thank God there is NO voice mail in Heaven. I certainly exceed the "one prayer a day" thing. :angel2:

I hope this reminds people to pray; not just when times are tough or you need a "Healing Touch". How many of us know how great it feels just to dial Him up to say THANKS or to "Praise His work" on a beautiful day.
post #7 of 17
TLK, I agree whole heartedly. I've actually started journaling my prayers everyday (or as often as I can), and it's a great way to make sure you are thanking and praying as much as you are asking.

My daughter (almost 5) did the sweetest thing the other day. We needed to go to Home Depot, but it was starting to rain. We were in the car driving down the road when it started lightening and thundering. My poor daughter is horrified of storms, especially since we had that tornado hit Arlington last year. She was pretty scared in the car, so she just started praying outloud for God to keep us safe until we got to the store. Then, as I was pushing them down the aisle in Home Depot, she started praying again to thank God for keeping us safe. It was so sweet. Made me feel like I'm doing at least one thing right raising my kids.
post #8 of 17
Dawn; What a beautiful story!
How God loves the sweet prayers of innocent children. Since our kids learn by example; you are truly doing "more than one thing" right when it comes to raising your family.
post #9 of 17
Thank you Cat for sharing! That was very cute.. and I'm also happy that there is no real Voice Mail in Heaven.

post #10 of 17
Catarina!!!!!!! How CUTE! I LOVED it!!! Thanks!!!
post #11 of 17
I have heard that if you can count the number of prayers you say in a day - you are not praying enough! I love the voice mail story and also that Home Depot story brought a grateful tear to my eye!
post #12 of 17
Thread Starter 

Hi Everyone! I'm so glad you stopped by to check this out...I loved it myself.

Dawn :angel2:, that was such a wonderful event that took place in your life with your daughter. You must be so proud I know I'd be elated

I don't know if I could agree more with Darlene:angel2: and Cassie:angel2: about having "no" voice mail...yikes...I think that says it all...however; I sometimes wonder how certain people can be in prayer all day long. It amazes me to see this incredible discipline and love! How unusual it is in this self absorbed world of ours. Myself included. I truly find myself caught up in the most sillyest things at times...then wonder how in the world did I make that so dang important to me. Those are the people I admire and would like to emulate.

I'm not sure if I've heard the Home Depot story (maybe you can pass that one down Debra :angel2: )...sounds real familiar though...dang meds! :laughing2

Glad you enjoyed it to lil sis

Love &
post #13 of 17
Cat - speaking of meds.....I just spent about 20 minutes trying to find that post again. Dawn told it about her daughter saying the cutest prayers while they were on their way to Home Depot - her 5 yr old daughter was scared due to a storm! Dawn.....save us both here !!!!!!!
post #14 of 17
It's actually in this thread, about 6 or 7 posts from the top. But remember, you have to temper Amy's sweetness with her tantrum yesterday in Target. She promised me today no tantrums!
post #15 of 17
Dawn; Amy is just a typical 5yr. old, I think. one day and the next. I try to stay out of posts about children; as I don't have any of my own, but I did help raise my two nieces Dorothy (now 25) and Sandra (16). These poor girls had two mothers and somehow they grew into beautiful, Christian, young women. As parents we may not always make the RIGHT decisions, but if we ask The Lord to watch over our children and grant us the wisdom to make the daily decisions; we are doing the best we can.

If I were in your city; I would gladly babysit any (or all) of your children, any time!

post #16 of 17
Thank you Darlene. I appreciate your kind words. I do my best with the kids, but every now and then they do insist on acting their age. Parenting is definitely the hardest thing I've ever done.
post #17 of 17
Dawn....it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job of raising your kids to know the Lord....wish more parents did that.
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