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I got her Urn today

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I got a call from UPS last night saying they had a package for me to pick up because they had tried to deliver it 3 times & I wasn't around. I knew what it was because I had seen the first delivery notice (the 2nd two must have blown away in the wind & rain we've been having). It was Smokey's Urn. I say it like she care what happens with her ashes, but the truth is she doesn't. I care though. It was so much harder than I expected. I was excited because I want to get her out of the white box her ashes came back in from the vet & put her in something that expresses my deep love for her. When I opened the box took it out & looked at her picture on the front I started to cry. You see I chose my favorite picture of here where she is looking at me over her sholder & had them impose that on a backgroud of green grass. It was just like she was looking at me from where I imagine her to be right now. Oh how I miss her. I miss her voice, her smell, her crabbyness, her dainty little paws, I miss everything about her. I love my boys don't get me wrong, but I still miss her. It's been a little over a month & just the other night I looked at one of my kittens & almost called him Smokey. I think I'm going to go this weekend & buy a shelf to put up so I can have the urn somewhere nice. I just didn't think I would be this sad about her urn.
post #2 of 10
I felt the same way when I got Toby's ashes.

Smokey sounds like such she was such a great friend to you - real with little faults and foibles and real with love and affection. At least she's home with you now.
post #3 of 10
Rang_27, I know what you are going through, and I went through the same thing when I had to pick up my little Midnight's ashes.

Smokey was a very big and important part of your life for 17 years, and has been gone for only a short time. It sounds like you are still grieving...take all the time you need for this. Eventually, the time will come when you can remember Smokey and think about all the happy times you shared.
post #4 of 10
It sounds like a fine urn, a fitting tribute for a wonderful cat.
post #5 of 10
When I lost my Shalimar after 14 years, I didn't want an urn. I had my brother make a wooden box with a picture frame on top. Its nicely stained and joined. My favorite picture of her is on top, and her favorite toy is inside with her. We sealed the box with glue and caulk.

She's been gone for almost 5 years now, but I still look for her. She used to meet me at the door when I got home from work, jump in my arms, put her paws on my cheeks and kiss my nose. I miss her soft paws, her squeek, even her smell!

Smokey was a very important part of your life. Take the time to grieve. The urn sounds beautiful. Put it somewhere you can see it and talk to her. Its my belief that loved ones never really leave you. They're always watching and listening.
post #6 of 10
oh my sweet dear, I'm on the boards only for a second to find out about grapefruit extract and I saw you pop up right away. Freddie is sleeping....we talked to a country vet today, smebody recommended by the clinic for a housecall euthanasia....no decision made yet, I can't bear it. Oh how do you deal with it without taking drugs or feeling like collapsing and and and it hurts so much. I tell myself he had the best love ever and that calms me. I am so glad to hear of your urn, thatmade me happy, how fitting and fine a tribute. I know how much you miss her. When SiSi was taken so suddenly without any warning in May, my heart was ripped out. I could barely function. It took me 5 months to take down her Lost Kitty sign from the old oak tree at the bend in the road where everyone saw it. I felt like I was abandoning her. I miss her still and not a day goes by when I don't reach out for her in my mind, my best friend of 11 years.. Tell me how you cope. Tell me what you do to get by, I mean it. I'm ok, I'm strong, but I just want to know. Elizabeth
post #7 of 10
I had Precious cremated also so i could always have
him with me
post #8 of 10
Smokey was such an integral part of your life, and she's been gone just recently, it is only natural to feel the pain each time something comes to remind you of her, especially if it's her ashes. I too think the urn is a lovely tribute, and having her own little shelf will be a nice reminder that she is always with you in spirit.
post #9 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much every one. After 17 years with the same cat sometimes I wake up expecting to see her. One thing I didn't say was that above her picture it says Smokey & then below it says My sunshine & on the back I had the song printed you know "You are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." I used to sing that song to her over & over. It seemed in the last two years of her life when she wasn't feeling well it seem to comfort her. I looked all over the internet for differnt urns & one day I was delivering a cat for the shelter I volenteer at & this guy has this great urn with a picture of his cat who passed away along with his name & then on the other side he had a picture of his 10 year old cat. He special orderd his so they could both go in & be in the same urn. A specail personal urn was what I wanted & I'm very happy with how it came out.

Elizabeth I wish I could explain how I got through it. I think in Smokey's case she was just so sick that it was good just knowing she was out of pain. On her last day she could only take a couple steps then her back legs would give out. Smokey was always a very dignafied cat & I knew she would not have wanted to continue that way. I would recomend at home euthinasia, because then you know he won't be scared. I would do it for her again if I had to, but you'll know when the time is right. I think above all you have to be ready because your the one who has to live with the consequences. I also think I knew Smokey was dieing & I spent the last two weeks of her life grieving for her. If you need to talk you can always pm me.
post #10 of 10
hi sweet Rang,
Thank you. Freddie died in Eric's arms Sunday afternoon. He was barely 3 lbs, and he was in peace. No suffering, no pain, it went so fast, I was shocked at how fast. I am doing better than I thought because like your beautiful girl, he was so sick at the end, having rejected food for 11(!) days, that his equilibrium was off. Your note helps because I tell myself there are others with losses, not justme, and it makes it seems better, how awful but strangely comforting. We are buying a baby cherry tree tomorrow to plant near the shrubby knoll he loved so much. I sense Smokey's dignity may have come from her mama.
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