Trying not to panic - Our hand-fed feral not shown for 4 nights?

We've been feeding some kittens/cats from a cat colony we discovered several blocks over - we TNR'd all we could get (14 I think?). One - "Flick" - hung around through our horrid Ohio WInter - using our heated shelters periodically (who knows why not on days she didn't). She's easy to fall for - solid grey, with a little white heart (yes, a heart) on her chest, now she's missing the half ear due to TNR, she's really teeny - still kitten-size although she's 10 months now, and has a neuromuscular issue that part of her colony has ----her back end and tail wobble when she moves.

A week and a half ago she went from "I'll happily take whatever you'd like to toss my direction" to "I'll eat it from your hand and off your lap if you like!!!!"  I was even able to pet her several times! All was looking toward us continuing to socialize - perhaps even bring her in (or get her to place her somewhere). And then "poof" ------ as of Sunday night, we haven't seen hide nor floppy tail. We've driven streets, talked to a few "feral friendly "friends in the neighborhood - no one's seen her. Her "cohort" --- we think from same litter last year but he didn't show up until we stopped TNRing during winter - we call him "Rocky" from his raccoon ringed tail on his grey body. They tolerate each other - but barely. She (Flick) had definitely been using me as "Mommy shield" - even sleeping behind me when Rocky was around.

So that's where I am - Rocky's here (damn, less funny, less sweet Rocky - I know that's awful, but hard to help thinking).....no Flick whatsoever. 

I know ferals are "fickle." I've calmed many a person off a ledge myself. But any suggestions? Is 4 days too quick to panic? In the US is there anyone a person can contact re: roadkill in the area (ick, but I'm panicking). Would putting up posters be strange and call attention to her being feral?

Any help appreciated!?!?!?!! (bottom pic is last summer - top one is last week - she always "frowns" that way) I was sure she was going to be "our kitty"! (that was my problem wasn't it)

I just can't decide on the poster - is it calling attention to a feral cat? She may be approachable - she'd gotten approachable even by a friend and our stepson (if they had food) ---to me she had to have been handled at some point very early on, right? True ferals don't have the change of heart from "I'll watch you half across the yard" to "I'll eat off your lap and let you pet me, then I'll sleep by you" in one week do they? 

My husband thinks posters are a bad idea. And I have to say - I have no idea if in the US the road crews keep any record of what they pick up - cat, dead  I'm guessing generally, etc. Let alone what they look like. I know I've read in other forums other countries do that, but I feel at a loss here in Ohio.

I just need a word or two of comfort ----or a plan of action.

And a reminder why we give our hearts to these ferals when we have very loving ones inside our own home?

When my feral cat, Patches left home in a poof, I too was panicked.  He went from loving attention to gone.  I waited 10 days as he had previously been MIA for 3-5 days before.  I then put up signs and distributed flyers to all my neighbors.  A few people had spotted him.  Having the tipped ear helped.  Yet, he never returned.  I do believe he found someone else to live with fewer cats.  I had people contact me last fall and he was spotted in my general area.  I have outdoor wireless surveillance cameras and he has only been spotted on the camera one time.  I have had a few imposters, but my Patches stays away.  I am sad beyond sad. 

I say go ahead with posters/flyers.  I never mentioned he was feral on the poster/flyers.  I just put a picture and noted he had a notched ear. 

I hope Flick comes home soon and is just out enjoying the warmer days and nights.

Have you called the vets near you, the local SPCA, Humane Society? Someone may have found your cat and brought him in to one of these places. You could also try to post on PetFinder (but, beware of scams).
Good luck. Several of the cats I fed in my community cat colony disappeared, some returned, some didn't. I like to think they found homes (half of the ones in my colony were at one time house pets).

Thanks so much for replying....even if she didn't come back. Maybe this is one more notch in my "we need wireless surveillance " beg. Flick had never come this close in an entire year-and in. 1 day have worked up to eating off my lap, licking my fingers, even sleeping with me. You can see how easy it was to get even more attached than we normally do to our ferals!!!! I'm still hoping against hope -the rest of the colony seems to be around, minus the few we see only off and on anyway. She is spayed, so at lest she's not holed up birthing. That's what I get for getting attached. I'm going to go ahead w a poster tonight-just won't mention feral.

Does calling road crew/DOT make sense? As awful as it is, rather know she'd been found. Husband rides bike am & pm 2x each calling....no answers. Her new is teeeeny though, like she is why do we get SO attached!?! B I know I should be at shelter taking pics so kitties can get adopted....but I don't have the strength. Argh.

Guess I'm hoping against hope to hear from someone who tamed/semi-tamed & had a happy ending

So sorry to hear about Flick.  I ended up building a compound for my "tame" feral.  He's still rough around the edges and I am sure he would eventually have wandered off permanently if I hadn't.  Hopefully, Flick will return from her adventures and realize she has a good deal going at your house.

I can't answer your question - why do we get so attached?  But truthfully, I would rather be too attached than react like some people I know - who think it is perfectly acceptable to allow their cats to go outside unfixed.

Vibes Flick returns home none the worse for wear!

Have had both experiences, had one come back after 2 weeks, in fine shape, had another disappear the night before I was going to take him to be neutered, as he had become that tame.  Never saw him again.  Checked Animal Control every 3 days for about a month, nothing.  Never did a poster, he was a big black male cat.  Had already neutered one that looked like him and that one is still here today.  Found out later someone in the neighborhood had been shooting cats with a pellet gun.  Never found out who it was or he might have gone missing if my neighbor and I had found out! .  My neighbor's spayed white cat came home with a pellet in her butt (pellet gun) and another of his cats, grey tabby neuter who never roamed far went missing, never found.  Yet another young boy I was in the process of taming, gorgeous longhair red tabby, went missing and was found under a neighbor's porch with a pellet in his head, right behind his ear.  I have a fenced acre, never had a loss here, but the ferals come and go.  Another went missing after coming for 5 1/2 years to eat here daily -- I put up a poster for her and had 3 people call saying they had seen her dead by the road quite far from my house.  She was gone when I went to where they had said, but at least with her, I knew.  And Grey Boy (see photos) ate here for 4 years, then was gone a week and dragged himself home badly injured a year ago.  He's now neutered and healed and doesn't even think about going outside of the fence.  He's gone from totally feral to inside-outside and will eat out of my hand (chicken) but still doesnt want to be touched.  Anyhow, put up a poster with her picture, maybe you'll find out something.  And if you could get her nemesis Rocky to go away for a few days, or even a few hours, maybe she would come back at least for a snack.

My feral, Muffin, occasionally roams off for a few days, every several months, and has done so (with much less frequency now that he's older) for the past two years and eight months I've been his caregiver. Sometimes he's gone for a day or three, but this past frigid February, it was for a week. He has always returned. Sometimes he's returned with an injury, but he knows to come to me if he's sick or injured. There have been times when I've walked around my block and driven around my neighborhood, showing his picture to people. Everyone one on my block knows him (and some have fed him on occasion), and now many people in my neighborhood within a half mile perimeter knows of him, too. Keep asking around and showing her picture. You may want to email a picture of him to your local humane society or shelter. I would not bother contacting road crews. It's too difficult to recognize a cat that has been run over several times.

I know it's different because your kitty is a spayed female while mine is a tom, but if she's a true feral, she will sometimes want to roam. She may have other people who know and feed her, or even another colony she visits.  When a feral has bonded with their primary caregiver, they almost always return, even if it's a week later. I completely understand the anxiety you feel. I would not assume the worse at this point at all. It's also possible that someone else has taken her in, which is why it's important to keep looking and asking.

Night number 5 -  just Rocky - no Flick.

THanks everyone for any shred of hope - and the reminder i can't do alot. I walked the neighborhood calling (as she comes when I call - she'll even come running down the street normally....which says to me something's wrong or she's on a very long walkabout). 

I'll check all the shelters tomorrow and take a flyer - although I don't think anyone can pick her up (even I can't). Just pet and stroke and love. Was working my way up to picking up so I could get her to the vet. 

I'll keep trying....and let you know. Thanks so much for the positive thoughts....it does help.

Hi Kittychick

Here's  a testimonial for posters - and see Little Ginger's thread for details.  She disappeared last week after getting outside and being spooked by construction next door.  In addition to calling local adoption places, animal control etc. I plastered our neighborhood with posters, including a recent photo.  It paid off!  A lady down the road found Ellie and taken her in, then called us.  Over a week had gone by and we were distraught.  It was the poster that led to contact and the happy news that Ellie was safe.  Of course there is no guarantee, but if it were not for our posters we never would have known Ellie was found and safe.  So go for the posters, lots of them. Also asking door to door and anyone you see in the neighborhood; dog walkers are especially good resource.  Don't let the feral label stop you.  I never thought Ellie would "go to" anyone, but this lady has big time cat vibes and apparently she was able to scoop her into a carrier (amazed me as I had huge issues doing that).  So, maybe ... anyway don't give up hope.

And a side note, on our poster we had asked folks to check their garages in case Ellie had run in and got trapped, she did do that once in our garage when she got out.  Due to that we were able to rescue another cat trapped in a neighbor's garage, which wouldn't have been the case if we hadn't put out the posters, so that led to another cat rescued.

So we'd finished dinner-I couldn't eat since we'd walked the neighborhood again with no luck. I was buoyed by everyone's kindness.....truly!!!! But Flick had so touched our hearts. They all creep in -but who knows why some are so special..

I was up lying on the bed sobbing (I was supposed to be working AND doing Flick's poster, but all I could do was cry).

My husband came upstairs & said "I know this isn't what you want to see...but I know these guys make you laugh...look! Raccoon in the feeding station!!! I smiled and turned to go upstairs...He grabbed my shoulder & said "....but I really hate you to miss this!."


There, on the bottom back step was my little Flick :heart3: Looking none the worse for wear (maybe a bit skinnier but I'll take it!!!!!!). Just looking up into my eyes, & I heard the happiest sound ever, her teeny tiny, baby-kitty "mew!"!!!! Soon as I sat on the step (bawling of course, between sobs saying "Flickie it's you, It's really you")....she came trotting right up onto my lap & started eating the turkey my husband had the fore site to bring out. It was like time had never passed. Like the painstakingly slow work-up to a brief brush against her chin had been forgotten. Instead Took bites, and then rubbed her head against my hand, marking & showing love. Love! Then she let me scratch beneath her chin....and it kept getting better as she rolled over for a full body scratch!!!! Followed by....deep, long, low-----tada-------purrs!!!!! Lots and lots of them! I set out and fed her till she couldn't eat anymore. Petted until I finally had to come in. She even tried to follow (awww).


Needless to say if I was in love before---I'm whatever there is beyond love now! I know it's possible she won't be back tomorrow or the next. But even my husband agreed-now we have to -quickly-take the next step. One I've never taken personally when I had other cats (5 to be exact) to worry bout from disease & personality perspective.

Thoughts? Advice? Anything to avoid? A few things to know:we were supposed to foster 6 kittens (interestingly enough, Flick's "cousins") starting a week from Friday for 2 weeks. BUT we also just found out we've got to go out of town that Friday through Monday (PLUS our usual foster sitter is out of town!!!!). Even if we can find someone else to help foster-don't know how we'd find another space to hold Flick while seeing if she can truly be socialized. But I feel like with her we need to move now-----certainly not wait while we're gone for 4 days.

Thoughts on how to make all this work? (Assuming Flick comes back!) am I fooling myself in trying to bring her in even if she was SO loving?!?! Only thing I didn't try was picking her up. So YEAH!!!!!!!!!! And now Hhhhhhheeeeeeelllpp!!!!!

(I've never transported a feral to a vet hoping they'd love me afterward-can it really be done or am I smarter just keeping her outside?)

I'm so glad to hear that your Flick came home. I understand totally how easy it is for us to fall In love with our colony cats. I have a favorite, Pounce, who has taken off for days at a time. Today he has missed breakfast and dinner. It is almost 1:30 am here and I'm going to go to the back door to call him one more time. Pounce is not feral at this point. He is totally socialized and probably a bit spoiled. I was up at this time yesterday and fed him in the back room.

I've cried many a night and lost a lot of sleep over that boy. I would bring him in as a house cat but he would hate not being able to go outside anymore. My indoor cats don't go outside.

Fingers crossed that our sweeties always show up before despair sets in.

kitty, if my outdoor feral were to allow me to pet him, come onto my lap and purr, I'd scoop him up and bring him inside. I know the timing isn't ideal because you're going out of town, but maybe you should consider taking her in so she doesn't disappear again while you're out of town. Do you have a spare room you could put her in? Is there any neighbor at all who could come over daily to refresh her water and scoop out her litter box? You can purchchase a self-dispensing feeder for cheap at Big Lots which can hold quite a bit of dry food.  Is there any way to find a different foster family for the litter of 6 kittens? This cat has clearly bonded with you, and since she's spayed and behaves more like a stray than a feral, I think she would be very happy inside with you. I hope you can find a way to make it work since it means so much to you, and evidently to her, as well. So glad to see a happy ending to this story!

I brought a male feral/stray into my house exactly one year ago.  He had been coming to my feeding stations for 5 months.  I had done TNR on him and thought he would be best outside.  He started to cause problems with some of my other ferals.  About a month before he came inside, he decided he wanted to be pet.  I could pet him, but only a little bit.  He was the type that only came at dawn and dusk, but that too started to change.  He wanted to hang out more on the deck and even started to spend some nights sleeping on the deck instead of under it.  He was attacked by stray cat and that caused more issues.  He then started taking his aggression out on my other very meek feral.  I tried to find a rescue group to help, but it was May and they all were full with kittens.  I knew he was no adoptable.  I decided to try and bring him into my house and see if he could be socialized.  I tried to retrap him, but that did not work.  It took me 2 days, but I finally lured him into a medium sized dog crate and quickly shut the door.  I covered it and took him up to a completely cat proofed spare bed room.  I had taken the bed/box springs up off the floor and blocked off under dressers, desks and behind book shelves.  I had a small cat tree as well as 2 litter boxes.  I also had some toys and bedding for him.  As soon as I got him upstairs, he bolted for the window and kept flinging himself against it.  I had soft harp music playing and after 10 minutes or so he calmed down and found a hiding spot.  I let him be for about an hour.  Long story, short, he ended up in his room full time from May 30-the end of July.  At the end of July he had short visits outside of the room and introductions to our indoor cat.  I worked him for in short spurts every day.  He came around pretty quickly.  He so enjoyed being pet.  The litter box took a bit, but Dr. Elsey's Litter Attract did the trick.  Nights were hard and for the first week he would often fling himself against the window.  Composure feline treats were my friend at night and really helped to keep him calm.  I often felt like it was having a baby again as he woke me up over and over all night long! 

It has been a long year with Marvin.  He has had his ups and downs, but if now finally out of his room.  Just in the past month, he decided it was ok to come out at night.  We also have a large dog he had to adjust to.  Today he is a very sweet loving cat.  Yet he is still very afraid of loud noises or sudden movements.  He is getting better, but I know he will always be fearful of certain things.  He also will sit on my lap for short times.  I can now pick him up briefly.

Getting him to the vet took a bit.  I purchased a soft sided medium dog carrier and started feeding him in his room inside the carrier.  It took 10 days to get him in the back eating.  My vet was very flexible and the day of his appt he went in early and they did his exam and shots in short spurts.  I was certain he would have to be sedated, but he did so well.  He was already neutered and had a rabies shot, but needed other shots too. 

So it can be done, it's just lots and lots and lots of work, but very rewarding. 

I am so happy Flick is back.  She knows your place is home.  I hope you are able to do what is best for her.