How Do You Tell Someone....

That their cat is morbidly obese and that how they're feeding him will eventually cause serious issues including death?

Only in a nice way.

I'm such a wuss at telling people "bad news". I'm walking a dog 3x/week for a woman to help get weight off of her but she also has a seriously obese Ragdoll as well that nothing is being done for. :/ She wants me to groom the cat for her but he's so fat that he can't groom himself and doesn't care for anything more than being brushed...Which I'm also having trouble coming out and saying 'You have a Ragdoll, once a week isn't enough and you can't just brush the top coat, you need to line brush this cat to really get to the skin'. I really don't know what to do for this cat because he's SO uncomfortable trying to roll him around to get everywhere. I offered an idea for a sanitary cut as well as brushing him through 3x/week when I walk her dog and just keeping the main hair but I'm still waiting on a response. This boy REALLY needs a sanitary done and stayed on top of because I can't even find his penis through the urine matting and he has poop all over his butt! She isn't a bad pet parent or anything, they get vet care and they're very very loved. (She has professional portraits all over the place of her pets, I don't think she has much other family :/) She's just.....One of those people who seem to show love through food. I even tried to explain the whole carbs = sugar and sugar feeds yeast thing to a neighbor/friend who's dad has a sensitive and yeast prone German Shepherd. While the woman with the Golden/Ragdoll was standing there. We got on the raw topic and she was quite proud to provide her Golden with things like sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, ect which are ALL laced with natural sugars and carbs that will only turn to sugar. I even emphasized on how *I* feed NO fruits, veggies, grains, ect to my dog. She eats ONLY raw muscle meats, organs and bones because it's the most natural and carb free diet to keep yeast at bay and her weight down. Nothing seemed to click for the dog so I know it didn't with the cat. I've even brought up how I feed my cats canned food that's low carb with all meat in it because males are prone to urinary problems on dry and the low carb, all meat varieties are an appropriate diet for a cat/carnivore and how it helps prevent obesity, diabetes, ect ect. Didn't seem to catch her interest.

I hate to vent about it but it really really bothers me and I feel like hints obviously aren't enough but I'm way too chicken to come out and directly say that she's killing her cat. Dunno how to put it into words that won't risk me losing out on the weekly (and only) pay I get from walking her dog.

Poor kitty. I own a longhaired kitty and I brush her twice a day, once at the minimum...

You say she's not a bad pet mom, but she certainly isn't the best.

I guess you need to decide if you really need the job. I say that b/c if you have a "come to Jesus" conversation with her, you may upset her. But in this case that may be the best thing for the animals. IDK...

If you decide to say something I'd stick with the cat for now. He seems to be in the most imminent danger and is most likely suffering. I'd ask her to sit down and talk. If you can get her to come out for coffee, that's even better. Public places are good for issues like this.


I'd tell her in a calm, caring, non-condescending way that you are worried about her kitty, and tell her why.

Vibes~~~ for you and the kitty.

If you know the vet is there a way you can ask them and maybe they can call for a recheck on the cat or call to get a shot or something and at least get him groomed?

Is she all with it cause I can not see wanting a urine/poop cat.  I have a fat cat too but many other pets and can not monitor his food like it should be as out of spots to put him in as my many do eat dry due to budget. He has issues with butt and I clean/keep him trimmed best I can(moody thing he is and been since he was pretty young-first 5 months or so he was raised in basement.  Right now issue is I can NOT take a bite as I am pregnant and know that is a massive issue. My husband is helpful to a point and trimming butt hairs...is way beyond that.

Yes she could be better by taking care of her pets weights! Aside from that I feel like she does really care.

I wouldn't say we "need" the money but it does add up to being helpful, especially since I'm getting married July 5th. Plus it gives me the excitement of spending time with a big dog and getting out of the house some each week since I don't/can't work. So money aside, it's something that brings me happiness.

The dog is well on her way to being healthy. She's only about 8lb overweight which isn't a whole lot for a large dog. She said her cat however is 23lb and I don't believe it for a second. I look at him compared to my 9lb male and feel like this cat is probably closer to 30. At least.

I think the main reason for wanting him groomed is to clean up the poop and pee build up so I don't think she intentionally neglects him in those regions on purpose.

Even if she can't afford canned (Which I find hard to believe since she's a traveling nurse. They make GOOD money and they pay for everything including her rent, electricity, pet deposit, water is included with rent., ect...But her budget isn't mine!) this cat would benefit from scheduled feedings at least. Her other cat is fine! He can obviously manage his weight and intake just fine on his own but the Ragdoll has no self control over himself being free fed.

As for the coat, brushing won't do it. You need a long toothed metal comb, several sizes in fact if he has that super coat, plus any longhair needs the occasional bath to make the coat silky and not likely to matt, and I know many people, breeders included, who get their longhairs lion-clipped every summer.  Find some pictures and suggest that as well.  You can't really tell her what to do or focus on what is wrong, instead focus on what is RIGHT for her cat because you know she cares, tell her that of course, and make suggestions backed up by articles and photos.  The lion cut is really cute (even though with a ragdoll it means he will grow back darker at first because of the are being cooler....you can even contact local cat groomers and see what they would charge and if they do in-home work or not, etc.  A friend of mine just got her neighbor's dog groomed that way, by having the groomer come to do HER two dogs when the neighbor was visiting, and they looked so good, the neighbor agreed to let her do his dog too.  Clever!  Oh, and if you are actually able to do that yourself, i.e. have grooming experience beyond just the sanitary cut, show her some pictures of your work by all means!

As for the diet, perhaps she needs to see him buck naked after his lion cut to see that he is fat, not just fluffy.  THEN perhaps you could search for some of the articles in here and elsewhere concerning diet, fatty liver disease, the dangers of losing weight too fast, and even go through the Journey to Health story, showing it takes a LONG time to get a cat down to a healthy weight safely, but the easiest way is to feed a good grain-free, low carb wet food (dont just say it, bring her articles).

Oh she is all for me grooming the cat! 10+ years experience here. Somehow in that time though, I've never had to groom an animal that is SO morbidly obese! He's uncomfortable with me moving him around and it's hard for me to work on him. She did agree to a sanitary and me brushing him though which is good! Hoping she will get some peeked interest of my grooming "secrets" to continue him on a good path once I do manage to clean him up. Sit her down and show her first hand how to properly groom him to prevent future mats and keep his shedding all over the house to a minimum. She wanted me to shave him only keeping 1-1.5" of fur but he's so scared of the clippers and he's so fat I can't hardly do anything by myself, with no table/noose. If she learns to groom him correctly I think she'll find his coat length it's self isn't a big issue....He just has so much dead coat built up that it seems like an obnoxious task to remove it all. I don't see her going for a lion cut unfortunately. I could do that fairly quick and easy compared to shaving and shaping what would still be a fair bit of hair!

I had thought about pulling up pictures of cats who are so fat, they can't groom themselves and the medical problems (Urine burns, infections..) that come from it. I did mention those risk to her in a text when we were discussing what to do with him grooming wise but pictures may be what it takes to really send the message home assuming she isn't one of those "I've never had that happen so I won't fix it till it becomes an issue" kind of people. I'm not sure how to read her on that one. If this was someone I knew well, it would be as easy to tell them even in a blunt manner but this is a "client" that I've known for less than a month and don't want to push too hard. I've tried to explain my credentials (as far as my work in the animal industry) as well as I can but I'm sure she's no different than the rest of the world who can't properly guess my age and thinks I'm a lying kid. Hard to get respect or be heard with a baby face. Ugh.

OK so I finally bit the bullet when I felt I was given a good chance.

She took both her Golden and Ragdoll to the vet today for shots and a checkup and I asked her to let me know how things went since I've been helping to get weight off the dog, it's nice to hear if my work is helping pay off! She said 'Great news, Maddy lost 2.5lb! Vet said it was perfect weight loss. Chase was 21.6 pounds ouch.' So I decided to mention how great it is the dog is losing and that it would benefit Chase to loose some weight too; that he'd feel better in general and he would be able to clean himself better.

She replied back 'I know, plus I don't want him to get diabetes.' So she's aware of the issues, which I'm sure the vet also went over with her today, So I offered to make out a meal plan for him if she wanted which she replied back with him being picky about his dry, cutting back his food and putting the bowl of food on the counter where the lean cat can reach it but not Chase. To that I offered a long reply about the importance of moisture in the food and the benefits of lower carbs/sugars. I also suggested getting both cats on a schedule for meal times since even if she continues to free feed Milo (Who maintains his weight just fine being free fed) eventually Chase will lose the weight, be able to get on the counter and then eat himself porky again.

She said she offers wet 3x/week but Chase will only eat a teaspoon before walking away. (Obviously a dry food addict, been there and done that which I plan to mention to her! Helps when someone has gone through the struggles but I'm proud to say my free fed dry food addict now gladly enjoys his 2x/day canned meals! ) She also asked me what dry would be best so I'm going to make some suggestions and link her to Dr. Piersons article about dry food addicts and hope she starts looking around!

FINGERS CROSSED!

Good for you!  That sounds extremely promising.  It does sound like she is receptive and concerned.  Now back up that baby face with some good articles and you will have them all eating out of your hand.  Good work!