Depressed Tortie

Hello all,

I'm new here. I have 2 kitties. My Isis is a tortie and she is 8 years old. Her sister Lilo (different litter, same mom) is 6 years old and is a brown tabby. 2 months ago my husband left. Since then Isis won't come out of our bedroom except to eat and go potty. She stays in bed and actually crawls under the covers. She was definitely daddys girl and I know she misses him terribly. She used to come out and snuggle with everyone in the house but now that hes gone she just isn't interested. Lilo on the other hand used to be such a loner and now for the first time in 6 years she is sitting on my lap. She would always snuggle up to me in bed and was my girl where Isis was daddys girl but was always very independent. My heart is breaking for my poor girls. Is this normal behavior? How can I get them back to their happy selves??

Since she is eating and using the litter box there probably isn't something physical going on.  Have you tried playing with her?  You could try different toys, usually you can find something that interests a kitty.  Getting her to play would both help her feel better and also bond with you.

I have tried playing with her, but she wasn't a big player before this happened. She was only interested in snuggling and occasionally sitting out on the back deck enjoying the sunshine. Now all she wants to do is sleep.

You've already figured out what's wrong.  She's grieving the loss of her human.  Torties are notorious for bonding with one person, so she is feeling his loss deeply.  Give her a lot of attention, even if it means sitting on the floor and reading to her.  Don't make any moves to pick her up, just let her progress at her own pace.  If possible, get an old t-shirt (dirty that has his scent on it) and place it near where she's sleeping.  His smell will comfort her.  You might also want to look into getting a feliway diffuser to help with stress.  Be patient with her, make sure she continues to eat and use the litter box normally.  If you notice ANY change or loss of weight, get her to the vet.  You don't want her to starve herself or anything like that.  Just remember that her world has been turned totally upside down and you're going to have to gain her trust.

Hi Stacy, welcome to the site.  Glad to see you were able to figure out how to post

Steph and Denice  gave good advice. I also think it sounds behavioral, not medical.  Also, I  do remember  you mentioned that you already were using a t-shirt with his scent to comfort Isis. I'd continue with this.

Cats love routine. Has anything changed on a daily basis? For instance, are you away from the house more than usual or, keeping different hours?  I wonder if that could have some effect on her behavior.  I know that when my partner went back to school this year, it kind of turned our cats around a bit since he was the one home with them more regularly than I am.  Also, whenever he goes to visit his out-of-state parents, our older one who is very bonded to him, really misses him and does behave a bit differently; for instance he won't come to bed with me, which typically he does. 

Perhaps buy a few new toys for Isis to get her moving and enjoying time with you.  Do you have Da Bird?  I think across the board it's the toy which most cats respond to the best.

Cats are sensitive, and she just may need more time than expected to accept you as her caretaker now.  I would take her to the vet if she hasn't been there recently, just to totally rule out any illnesses.

I know what a trying time it can be to go through what you are right now.  I hope, both you and Isis find your way to happier times shortly.