Feeling so guilty...

torn

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I've had my cat for 8 years. she is only 9 now. I adopted her at aprox 1 year. over the years she has been diagnosed with asthma, kidney stone, Irratable bowl disease, iratable bladder disease and now arthritis. and now has lost 4 lbs in the past 5-7 months. i used to have to clean her butt about 3 times a day after going to the bathroom because she couldn't reach down there to clean it herself. she has always pee'd everywhere in my house. she has had multiple asthma attaches, has has sneezed blood out of her nose, she has thrown up all of her life. overall, she has had one thing after the other gone wrong with her. i have loved her like anyone could love something with outmost affection and committment.
now, i am tired. she has been waking me up all hours of the night, multiple times. i moved in with my boyfriend a little over a year ago, and she has pee'd on the hardwood floors and rotting them out. he has been very patient.
why i'm feeling guilty...
the doctor said the next step is to get an ultrasound and more testing on her to see why she is loosing so much weight. i don't want to put her through anymore pain. she has has her anal glands expressed several times, needles injected in her bladder a few times, blood drawn, multiple x-rays and she often goes to the bathroom when i take her to the vet. now, i have the vet come to me.
my health has gone down hill. i have lived my life for my angel. i sit on the floor and brush her when i'm home..for hours. i have chosen to sleep on the couch and monitor her at night...(she wakes me up in the bedroom and wants me to go downstairs with her, if i don't, she poops on the floor.) my boyfriend and i are not on the same page..for obvious reasons. so, i'm torn. she has been demonstrating signs of pain...shivering...and she moans now.
i'm putting her down on monday. the guilt is overwhelming. but i feel that doing it now, rather than later, is better.
thouhts?



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babycat444

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Dear Torn
Trust that you are treating your beloved cat with dignity, love and compassion. I believe that we can communicate on a deep level with our pets.
I suggest you let your boyfriend know you need to focus primarily on her this weekend. I imagine your bf has a hard time seeing you hurt for/ with your cat
It's profoundly difficult to suffer the physical loss of a loved one.
Heart bonds never die.
You are connected in Spirit always.
Talk to your kitty. Hold her close until it's time to set her free. I like to light a candle for my pets after they cross. A reminder of the eternal bond between us.
Be good and kind to yourself as you heal from your loss. Allow yourself time.
No more guilt. Guilt serves no one. We all get irritable at times it's natural and normal. Don't second guess yourself for any feelings of relief. It IS a relief when a loved one is freed from suffering. It is natural and normal that you and your boyfriend will feel a sense of relief and gratitude that such difficult times are past.
When you think of your girl imagine her joyfully free of pain. Send her love and light.
May Peace be with you all now and always.
Don't forget Dearheart. You too, are about to fly free. .....
 

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I've had my cat for 8 years. she is only 9 now. I adopted her at aprox 1 year. over the years she has been diagnosed with asthma, kidney stone, Irratable bowl disease, iratable bladder disease and now arthritis. and now has lost 4 lbs in the past 5-7 months. i used to have to clean her butt about 3 times a day after going to the bathroom because she couldn't reach down there to clean it herself. she has always pee'd everywhere in my house. she has had multiple asthma attaches, has has sneezed blood out of her nose, she has thrown up all of her life. overall, she has had one thing after the other gone wrong with her. i have loved her like anyone could love something with outmost affection and committment.
now, i am tired. she has been waking me up all hours of the night, multiple times. i moved in with my boyfriend a little over a year ago, and she has pee'd on the hardwood floors and rotting them out. he has been very patient.
why i'm feeling guilty...
the doctor said the next step is to get an ultrasound and more testing on her to see why she is loosing so much weight. i don't want to put her through anymore pain. she has has her anal glands expressed several times, needles injected in her bladder a few times, blood drawn, multiple x-rays and she often goes to the bathroom when i take her to the vet. now, i have the vet come to me.
my health has gone down hill. i have lived my life for my angel. i sit on the floor and brush her when i'm home..for hours. i have chosen to sleep on the couch and monitor her at night...(she wakes me up in the bedroom and wants me to go downstairs with her, if i don't, she poops on the floor.) my boyfriend and i are not on the same page..for obvious reasons. so, i'm torn. she has been demonstrating signs of pain...shivering...and she moans now.
i'm putting her down on monday. the guilt is overwhelming. but i feel that doing it now, rather than later, is better.
thouhts?



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I am sorry, I cannot say this any more gentler, but my thoughts are.....that I think you will be making a mistake in euthanizing your cat on Monday.  I think you may regret this decision in the future.

Unless the Vet said there was no hope for your 9 year old cat(not sure if you mentioned her name), and  granted, she does have multiple health issues, but again 9 years is fairly young for a cat.

Is there any way you can call cat rescues, or humane society in your area, and explain your situation?.

I understand that having a sick cat is extremely stressful, and it is affecting your own health, but if one of these organizations would be willing to take your cat, give her treatment, meds, get her on a different diet, then would you be okay with that.  She would no longer be yours, but she still would have a chance at life.

This is just my opinion, and I don't walk in your shoes, or even know all the things the vets have said, or the costs involved, so don't be too bothered by what I said.  I just don't want you to regret the decision, in one month's time.   What ever you decide, it will be difficult.

The other thing, too, @Torn...is that your cat may very well be suffering with cancer or some illness that causes extreme weight loss,  and may then need to be euthanized,  but I think it would help you knowing the results of the bloodtest, to better be able to decide.  You said she was in pain, shivering and moaning, but knowing why, makes the decision easier.
 
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torn

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I thank you so much for your email.  

It has made me feel a bit more confident.  Although, i'm still torn to what i should do. the other person replied that i should take her to get an ultrasound, i had the same thoughts...so i would know exactly what was wrong with her.  what i do know is she is sick. she walks around meowing more than ever and she is in pain. 

do you suggest that i get an ultrasound too?  the doctor told me that it's never good when a cat looses weight when not on a diet.  he told me a study that cats who loose 6% of their body weight has 6 months to live and a cat that looses 11% of body weight, has 6 weeks to live. she lost 25% of hers over the past months..so the doctor doesn't know what is going on. 
 

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I thank you so much for your email.  

It has made me feel a bit more confident.  Although, i'm still torn to what i should do. the other person replied that i should take her to get an ultrasound, i had the same thoughts...so i would know exactly what was wrong with her.  what i do know is she is sick. she walks around meowing more than ever and she is in pain. 

do you suggest that i get an ultrasound too?  the doctor told me that it's never good when a cat looses weight when not on a diet.  he told me a study that cats who loose 6% of their body weight has 6 months to live and a cat that looses 11% of body weight, has 6 weeks to live. she lost 25% of hers over the past months..so the doctor doesn't know what is going on. 
I am not sure if this email is directed at me or the other member,  but if it is me, then thank you for not being too upset by what I wrote.

After I posted my thoughts, I was somewhat "torn" as well, since I thought, you are going through the most difficult decision, and don't really need someone who does not know all the facts, to give you advice.

The thing is, I was only talking about myself, and that I would want to know what my cat was dying from before using euthanasia.

An ultrasound may or may not prove or show anything( I am not sure how expensive they are either)......so I am surprised the blood tests....do not reveal the status of the white blood cell count, or red cells....and anemia......etc.(usually from blood tests....a vet can diagnose and offer a treatment plan)

Did you get a copy from the vet, of the blood tests?

I think it is quite serious, when a cat loses that much weight, but I would want to know from what?.  My sister disagrees with me, and thinks that if a cat is dying, than the humane thing to do would be tps.  So I understand both sides.....its is such a personal and difficult decision.

What is your cat's name?
 
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torn

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I appreciate your thoughts.  i have thought about feeling regret for not bringing in her to get an ultrasound. but then i'm thinking, the results will not be good. with studies done on cats with extreme weight loss. i could extend her life for a few months or even a year. but the thought of her going through the stress and pain, and myself as well...is unfathomable. 

as far as giving her to someone else, she will not want that. as i mentioned, she has had so many doctors apts, i don't have any faith that any other doctor will have a different perscription to cure her. 
 

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I appreciate your thoughts.  i have thought about feeling regret for not bringing in her to get an ultrasound. but then i'm thinking, the results will not be good. with studies done on cats with extreme weight loss. i could extend her life for a few months or even a year. but the thought of her going through the stress and pain, and myself as well...is unfathomable. 

as far as giving her to someone else, she will not want that. as i mentioned, she has had so many doctors apts, i don't have any faith that any other doctor will have a different perscription to cure her. 
Okay, then, that is all okay.   I don't want to cause you further stress.  You have done a lot for her.  And as long as you know you won't have regrets.....I think its all okay.

I am a little different, because I just pts  my 2yr3mt cat (this past january),   who was dying from complications from being felv+ and fiv+....and still I have some regrets.....in that I did not do enough. 

But I know you have done a lot for your gal, and just want the best, and least suffering ending as well.

I'm sending you positive vibes and good thoughts for strength....Monday will be extremely difficult.  I will keep you in my prayers.
 
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torn

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her name is Angel.  . i have the results. do you know anything about blood test? i had another doctor look at it too. they said that

i can email them to you if you wish. 
 
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torn

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thank you, I suppose we just have to know that they are at peace and in heaven.  

i'm going to tell you what others have said to me, we shouldn't feel guilty about our decisions.  its only prolonging the pain and anguish of putting our babies through more test and treatments. 

i'm sure i will feel regret. 

i have read more articles of people feeling guilty for waiting too long to put their pet down...for extending their life when they were in pain...than people feeling regret for doing it too early. 

it's eventually going to happen...i think sooner than later is better..for everyone involved. 

thanks again..and may God bring you peace 
 

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When making choices like this, the most important thing is the quality of life of the animal.  It certainly sounds like her quality of life has not been good for a very long time and it is just getting worse.  In a case like this, you can discuss her prognosis with the vets, but the most important thing is to keep her comfortable and happy, and if there is no way to do that, then let her go with love. 
 

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her name is Angel.  . i have the results. do you know anything about blood test? i had another doctor look at it too. they said that

i can email them to you if you wish. 
No, I am not a vet....or a vet tech.....I just always ask for a copy of my cat's blood tests so I can look stuff up online.

If you just want to post the results of Angel's bloodwork, some other members who are more knowledgeable might see them and offer input. (just take out all personal data,...names, addresses and such)

The main thing to look at when you read the blood tests....is the reference ranges....and if the results are within the ranges or HI....or ...LOW....

For example  my cat was extremely jaundiced....had T.Billirubin (total)  or 45.2..(when range is from 0-3.4  umol/L)

if you want to PM me, that is fine, too.
.......i have read more articles of people feeling guilty for waiting too long to put their pet down...for extending their life when they were in pain...than people feeling regret for doing it too early. 

it's eventually going to happen...i think sooner than later is better..for everyone involved. 

thanks again..and may God bring you peace
Thank you....@Torn.     Yes, I do believe that what you are saying about not prolonging their lives if they are suffering  is the best, and as @Red Top Rescue    said ....the quality of life is the most important.

I guess we all have a different process of getting to the same conclusions.  And yes peace would always be a good thing, too.
 
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torn

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Does anyone know anything about blood work?

Client: CURTIS

Patient:ANGEL

Species:FELINE

Breed:

Gender:FEMALE SPAYED

GGT 10 0 - 6 U/L HIGH

TOTAL PROTEIN 8.9 6.3 - 8.8 g/dL HIGH

GLOBULIN 6.2 3.0 - 5.9 g/dL HIGH

CHLORIDE 127 114 - 126 mmol/L HIGH

SODIUM 158 147 - 157 mmol/L HIGH

ALB/GLOB RATIO 0.4 0.5 - 1.2 LOW
 

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I hate having to put our cats down but I think your Angel has suffered more in her 9 years than than some cats in the their teens. It is time to put her out of her misery and send her to Rainbow Bridge. After your guilt abates - we all have guilt - you will see that her life is better and peaceful. Then it may be time to take a needy healthy kitten and love it.
I wish you luck and peace.

 

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Has your vet brought up the possibility of dry FIP?  There is no conclusive tests for it but the combination of a high globulin with a low albumin to globulin ratio is often seen with FIP.  Dry FIP would explain the long period of illness.  I am not a vet so what little I know I have gotten from poking around on the internet.  It's something I would ask your vet about.  He would not be able to give you a clear answer, no one can, but he would be able to give you an educated opinion.
 

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I just want you to know that I am here to support you.  Please take comfort that you are a blessing to your cat.  Sometimes people don't realize it, but they deserve a pat on the back for a job well done.  (I know it isn't a job to any of us, but that's the only way I could think of to say it.)  I don't even want to think about what your cat's life would have been like without a kind person like you to love and care for her.  

Always remember, you have her best interest at heart and she knows.  
 
 
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I'm so sorry for you and Angel.

The ASPCA Grief hotline (free) has trained counselors who are compassionate and experienced in talking with people who need end of life support and counseling and they are used to talking to people who need help in making this decision and when to make it.  They know what you're going through.

ASPCA Pet Loss Hotline at (877) GRIEF-10 also 877-474-3310

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-loss
 
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torn

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Thank you for your words. 

My heart is breaking but i feel this is the best thing to do for my baby. 
 
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torn

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Wow, just looked it up. It sounds like that is what she has. 

Thank you so much.  As it said in the article, as long as your cat doesn't display any pain, there is no need for putting her down.  My cat is in obvious pain, and putting her down is the only option. 

I feel better now, 

Thanks for taking the time to send the info. 
 
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torn

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Thank you sincerely. 
 

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You have definitely went above and beyond in your care of your precious baby, you both fought long and hard. But she is telling you the fight is over.You are taking over her pain and suffering to let her rest. Her pain will be over because of your compassion and love, yours is beginning and you will mourn the loss of your sweet baby.The guilt is a normal part if grieving, but you did what was the right thing to do. I cry when I think of what you are going through, it shatters the soul and puts a huge hole in our hearts. Please know I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, please take care of yourself and try to keep busy. Rip beautiful angel!
 
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