Tips please on dealing with the Mother of all Cat Haters. Neighbor from Hell, advice sought to keep

Backstory:

One next door neighbor is a lovely soul with who loves cats as much as I do.

Neighbor on the other side loathes cats and is perfectly fine with the thought of them being hurt as long as they stay off her property.

I found out the latter neighbor's thoughts when my fiance and I encountered a wailing cat stuck in a cage on our property line in the sweltering heat last Sumer.

Animal control showed up to collect the cage and we found out from the neighbor's husband that the cat had been there for several hours. 

The cat who was trapped had been fed my nice neighbor after he showed up during Hurricane Sandy.

Animal Control spoke with us and I asked if they did TNR. Animal control was polite but he said that didnt work. (ugh)

I then asked him politely if he had heard of the Vacuum Effect.

He called it hogwash.

My neighbor was able to adopt the cat even though our animal shelter was going to put him to sleep just because he was considered feral.

My fiance is a Lawyer and helped 'prompt' the animal shelter to take kitty off death row.

Cat is a very happy indoor cat now, so at least that is one positive.

I approached the cat hater neighbor and forced myself to be polite and non-preachy.

She felt safe talking to me in launched into a tirade about how she hated cats, how she had found a mother cat and kittens behind her trash cans and that she had 'taken care of them' (I don't even want to know what she meant by that!)

I offered her a bunch of options to humanely keep the cats off her lawn furniture and raised flower beds.

But she didn't want to put out any money herself to mitigate the problem.

I make some money so I ponied up some cash to get scarecrow sprinkler and a motion detector to direct cats away from mean neighbor's property line.

I bought her special mats for her flower beds to keep cats off and a special spray to deter them.

I let my good neighbor what was transpiring. She started putting out a lot of money for TNR in hopes that the male ferals in the neighborhood woudl then steer clear of other enighbor's flower beds. 

Things quieted down over winter but today I heard her screaming at a small blind kitten.

(My good neighbor and I have been trying to catch this poor little thing to no avail)

I forced myself once again to muster up all the inner calm I could and once again spoke to mean neighbor.

She pretty much was a broken record. 

I asked her if she's considered fencing her yard in since there are foxes, possums, raccons and loitering teens who all traverse her corner property daily.

She said no that she likes having an open space.

Ohhhhkay. (her yard is 50 by 100)

Addtionally, we are near river/forest so the kitties and wild life will never go away.  

I offered to get her Rue and other plants to keep the cats away.

She told me I'm so helpful. Little does she know how she makes my stomach turn.

Anyway, are there ANY kitty deterrents I havent thought of ???

I am also adding in kitty attractants to the property line between my 'good' neighbor and mine.

Thanks !!!

err, correction "fed BY my nice neighbor" Not fed MY my nice neighbor. lol..   

This is so sad - and you are to be commended for your patience.  It sometimes takes all I have not to yell at ignorant people like the bad neighbor.

You have established a rapport with her and that goes a long way.  The deterrents you've used are excellent ones.  The only thing I can think of is planting a mint bed in your yard or the yard of the good neighbor.

Once thing I would consider, though, is the possibility that the bad neighbor has broken some animal cruelty laws.  Is there an advocacy group you might enlist in helping determine whether she has or not?  Your ACO doesn't sound like he would investigate that too well, unfortunately.

Ondine said:

 
This is so sad - and you are to be commended for your patience.  It sometimes takes all I have not to yell at ignorant people like the bad neighbor.

You have established a rapport with her and that goes a long way.  The deterrents you've used are excellent ones.  The only thing I can think of is planting a mint bed in your yard or the yard of the good neighbor.

Once thing I would consider, though, is the possibility that the bad neighbor has broken some animal cruelty laws.  Is there an advocacy group you might enlist in helping determine whether she has or not?  Your ACO doesn't sound like he would investigate that too well, unfortunately.

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She is skinny and looks elderly. (Yet she still drives and comes roaring into her driveway late at night, so I have a feeling she's in pretty good health inside)

One of the top feral advocacy groups in the country is nearby.

I contacted their outreach back in October and they told me I was doing a good job, but that it would be hard to go after her for anything.

It has weighed heavily on me when she smirked and revealed that she had "taken of the Mother cat and her kittens". It did sound sinister. Hope that she just yelled at them and nothing physically damaging.

Anyway, I am trying to do my very best to keep the peace. My fiance loves cats a lot.

But he even he had made it clear that he wants me to get along with the neighbor and be low key about it.

I'll try planting some mint.

I love it and didn't know kitties like it!    Thanks !

I am very impressed with your civility! So sorry you have to deal with her. She sounds like a nasty, miserable piece of work.
Unfortunately, we had a similar situation in our old neighborhood. There was one little guy who liked to pee in the drunken, cruel, cat-hating neighbor's flower bed, which ran along one side of the driveway. I tried many things to deter him, and the one thing that finally worked was placing thorny rosebush clippings on the ground in and around the flower bed. The cat stopped going near the flower bed after only a day or two, so I was able to remove the clippings in less than a week. It's not terribly attractive, but it was effective and fast acting in our case. Even after the clippings were gone, the cat avoided the flowerbed and yard, thank goodness.

I have a friend who hates cats and she places a coffee can filled with moth balls on her porch, and that seems to work in keeping them away. They hate the smell of moth balls. Also, cats hate citrus, so orange and lemon rinds are also a deterrent. Have you considered planting catnip in your yard? That would surely draw the cats to you.

I had a situation with a nasty cat-hating next door neighbor two summer ago. Her issue wasn't with the cat per see, but the fact that I was leaving a bowl of dry food on my porch for the cat. One day she saw a baby groundhog on my porch by the bowl. She confronted me and said that if any wildlife came onto her property because of my food bowl, she would "take action," and that I had been "warned." It freaked me out, so I stopped leaving food out for Muffin for about a month. I also put up a curtain on my porch railing and hung plants so she couldn't see what was happening on my porch. I informed the neighbors on my block of her threat towards Muffin, and asked them to keep an eye on the situation. They were all disgusted (everyone on my block loves animals except her--she's afraid of them--which is too bad since there's a small patch of woods around us inhabited by raccoons, opossum, groundhogs, rabbits, and the occasional deer and feral cat). Next I spoke with the local police, who told me that I had the right to leave food out on my property, and that if she hurt Muffin, I could file animal cruelty charges against her. Then I emailed Muffin's picture to the local humane society and asked that they call me if Muffin is ever brought in.  Two years have passed, and she accepts that Muffin is "my" cat, and I don't believe she would do anything to harm him. She even tolerates him hanging out on her property. Muffin is a very well-mannered cat and does not kill birds, litter in anyone's garden or flowers, and the only time he's sprayed was when there was a female feral in heat on our block and two other males were competing for her. I saw Muffin spray against her house and I cleaned the area, and told the neighbor that if Muffin ever urinates on her property to leave a note in my mailbox and I will clean it. I am fortunate that he rarely engages in spraying, and that when he has, his scent is so weak that you can't smell it unless you stick your nose up close. I also have pointed out to her that Muffin keeps rodents and other wildlife away from our properties, as well as other male feral cats, which is a positive.

If I were you, I would ask your neighbor exactly how she "took care of" the mother and kittens. If she said she killed them, then you should inform her that this is animal cruelty which is against the law and that if she ever harms another cat, you and other neighbors will inform the police and local humane society. You should let her know that you are trying to trap and fix the ferals cats and will assist her in deterring them from her property. Last summer when Muffin and his girlfriend had kittens on our block, I informed my nasty neighbor that my other neighbor and I were trapping the kittens and adopting them (which we did), and I think she appreciated the effort I was making.

It is possible to resolve the nasty neighbor situation, but it will take time and communication and standing your ground. You'll need to enlist the support of your other neighbors. You should also communicate with animal control and try to work with them.

Good luck and keep us posted.

MsAimee said:

 
I have a friend who hates cats and she places a coffee can filled with moth balls on her porch, and that seems to work in keeping them away. They hate the smell of moth balls. Also, cats hate citrus, so orange and lemon rinds are also a deterrent. Have you considered planting catnip in your yard? That would surely draw the cats to you.

I had a situation with a nasty cat-hating next door neighbor two summer ago. Her issue wasn't with the cat per see, but the fact that I was leaving a bowl of dry food on my porch for the cat. One day she saw a baby groundhog on my porch by the bowl. She confronted me and said that if any wildlife came onto her property because of my food bowl, she would "take action," and that I had been "warned." It freaked me out, so I stopped leaving food out for Muffin for about a month. I also put up a curtain on my porch railing and hung plants so she couldn't see what was happening on my porch. I informed the neighbors on my block of her threat towards Muffin, and asked them to keep an eye on the situation. They were all disgusted (everyone on my block loves animals except her--she's afraid of them--which is too bad since there's a small patch of woods around us inhabited by raccoons, opossum, groundhogs, rabbits, and the occasional deer and feral cat). Next I spoke with the local police, who told me that I had the right to leave food out on my property, and that if she hurt Muffin, I could file animal cruelty charges against her. Then I emailed Muffin's picture to the local humane society and asked that they call me if Muffin is ever brought in.  Two years have passed, and she accepts that Muffin is "my" cat, and I don't believe she would do anything to harm him. She even tolerates him hanging out on her property. Muffin is a very well-mannered cat and does not kill birds, litter in anyone's garden or flowers, and the only time he's sprayed was when there was a female feral in heat on our block and two other males were competing for her. I saw Muffin spray against her house and I cleaned the area, and told the neighbor that if Muffin ever urinates on her property to leave a note in my mailbox and I will clean it. I am fortunate that he rarely engages in spraying, and that when he has, his scent is so weak that you can't smell it unless you stick your nose up close. I also have pointed out to her that Muffin keeps rodents and other wildlife away from our properties, as well as other male feral cats, which is a positive.

If I were you, I would ask your neighbor exactly how she "took care of" the mother and kittens. If she said she killed them, then you should inform her that this is animal cruelty which is against the law and that if she ever harms another cat, you and other neighbors will inform the police and local humane society. You should let her know that you are trying to trap and fix the ferals cats and will assist her in deterring them from her property. Last summer when Muffin and his girlfriend had kittens on our block, I informed my nasty neighbor that my other neighbor and I were trapping the kittens and adopting them (which we did), and I think she appreciated the effort I was making.

It is possible to resolve the nasty neighbor situation, but it will take time and communication and standing your ground. You'll need to enlist the support of your other neighbors. You should also communicate with animal control and try to work with them.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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happybird said:

I am very impressed with your civility! So sorry you have to deal with her. She sounds like a nasty, miserable piece of work.
Unfortunately, we had a similar situation in our old neighborhood. There was one little guy who liked to pee in the drunken, cruel, cat-hating neighbor's flower bed, which ran along one side of the driveway. I tried many things to deter him, and the one thing that finally worked was placing thorny rosebush clippings on the ground in and around the flower bed. The cat stopped going near the flower bed after only a day or two, so I was able to remove the clippings in less than a week. It's not terribly attractive, but it was effective and fast acting in our case. Even after the clippings were gone, the cat avoided the flowerbed and yard, thank goodness.

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Thanks for all the good advice here!

I am trying to calm myself down because I am incredibly shocked after what I just handled in the last 2 hours.

Instead of getting (most of )my emotions into the recounting, here are the facts of what just went down:

I purchased chicken wire for the neighbor's flower bed.

I also made a print out from the internet on how well chicken wire and other remedies work to deter cats.

Knocked on her door, showed her what I had for her.

She immediately started on a long rant about the cats.

Once again she said how she hates them, etc.

I tried to redirect her to the "nifty, wonderful options" at hand to deter them. 

I also let her know how the other neighbor next me has neutered even more cats. She replied why cant she take them away.

I responded by explaining the Vaccum Effect again.

It was slow going , but I conveyed to her how the chicken wire (and plastic forks would work) to deter the cats

I then looked at the flower bed and saw it was completely covered in mothballs at the back half of it.

I asked her if she knew they are toxic.

She replied she doesn't care 

I replied by saying that intetionally trying to hard an animal in our county is criminal.

She then told me she throws water on them and hinks at them and they 'stare at her'/

She then asked me angrily why do cats have more rights then we have.

Playing the diplomat, I just stonily waited for her to finished talking.

I asked if she woudl remove the mothballs.

She didn't reply.

I then was concerned nothing would be done and offered to dig up the garden area with the moth balls and lat down the chicken wire and forks.

She agreed to that.

I spent an hour and a half doing the job.

She spent the time watching me and complaining about the cats, deer , bumble bees and even babies. (she groused at how she was asked to leave the swim club in our neighborhood because she was angry that parents were bringing babies into the main pool)

She apparently is under the impression that I am a helpful neighbor who is on her side.

[Her rants just reminded me that with disturbed, bad people it's never personal. They just the hate the world and life itself down deep.]

While I was doing this, her husband walked about of their house. She loudly asked him if he locked her out.

He looked at her and me, had a pained look on his face and yelled back he didn't know and he had to leave. He looked at me and shook his head and looked at the ground. He then jumped in his car and tore off. 

So I don't think he is a cat hater. Just feel sorry for him to live with her. Yikes.

After I was finished working I reiterated everything she could do to safely keep them away. She then ranted for another 10 minutes about how she shouldn't have to keep them away and that we should eb able to SHOOT THEM ALL like the deer.

I couldn't help but utter one wisecrack after that. I let her know they do that in very rural hunting areas and that's the only place she could do that . She looked at me confused.

I also did let her know again that my fiance has cats and loves them (so she isnt so quick to hurt unkonw cats)

She had the nerve to ask if I thought it was 'weird' that a grown man likes and has cats. So she is evil and ignorant.

Back on track I got her approval to place another scarecrow sprinkler facing both property lines. 

She then continued stating that "she has vowed to herself that she won't allow the cats to ruin this summer for her"

I think her main freak out now will be how she hates the cats jumping on her lawn furniture and scratching it on her raised deck.

Her deck has metal railing surrounding it and is about 3 feet off the ground.

I suggested she get mesh or more poultry netting and that wouldnt want to touching that on the railings.

I also suggested a cheap crinkly cover for her lawn furniture. We get a ton of rain in this area so I always have one on the furniture , unless Im outside.

Again, she complained about the cats' rights.

So I am pretty much taking a 'mental health day' for the rest of the afternoon.

My poor boyfriend had to listen to some of what I just posted here. He is very busy and has done his best to help me in this situation. 

Does anyone have any other ideas to keep the kittehs away from evil neighbor ?

Oh my. You really have a doozy of a neighbor. It's just too bad we can't Trap and relocate the gal to a place with no cats. Maybe she would be happier in a place filled with personalities like own. Are there any colonies for Tasmanian devils?

You really do deserve a medal for patience and valor.

I guess I am lucky that my neighbors are all content to let us feed and neuter the neighborhood cats. I sometimes wonder if they are giving the cats directions to our house.

Keep up the good work and good luck.

sweetthangtx said:

Oh my. You really have a doozy of a neighbor. It's just too bad we can't Trap and relocate the gal to a place with no cats. Maybe she would be happier in a place filled with personalities like own. Are there any colonies for Tasmanian devils?

You really do deserve a medal for patience and valor.

I guess I am lucky that my neighbors are all content to let us feed and neuter the neighborhood cats. I sometimes wonder if they are giving the cats directions to our house.

Keep up the good work and good luck.

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Thanks, I needed the good laugh. 

Also I am paying for everything and doing the work to help this monster of a person and it just hit me what she told me yesterday.

In the midst of her nonstop complaint rant, she mentioned how she just got back from visiting Turkey and climbing mounts.

My brain literally blocked out it because it was so vexing.

He whole spiel last Summer was how she was too frail/elderly to handle the cats.

Meanwhile she can fly across the Atlantic and then climb mountains.

What a piece of work.

Unfortunately my two closest friends have family emergencies right now, so I can only be a lending ear to them and not bother them with my little headaches.

I tried discussing it more with my fiance, but he just blew up at me because I think he just wants to stop thinking or dwelling on the neighbor again.

:: 

You are saintly as far as I am concerned. The neighborhood cats (and wildlife in general) owe you and all the animal lovers in your area a huge debt.   

Oh you poor thing, your neighbour sounds like an absolute NIGHTMARE!

It makes me realise how lucky I am to have such tolerant people as neighbours. You've been so patient with her, I don't think I would have been able to keep my cool for so long.

I've read through your thread and it sounds as if you've already done all the things I would suggest. I hope she starts to chill out soon. for her husband's sake as much as for you and the cats.

Feel free to post and vent here whenever you want to, we're hear to listen.

Norachan said:

 
Oh you poor thing, your neighbour sounds like an absolute NIGHTMARE!

It makes me realise how lucky I am to have such tolerant people as neighbours. You've been so patient with her, I don't think I would have been able to keep my cool for so long.

I've read through your thread and it sounds as if you've already done all the things I would suggest. I hope she starts to chill out soon. for her husband's sake as much as for you and the cats.

Feel free to post and vent here whenever you want to, we're hear to listen.

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Here we go again.

Things have been relatively quiet until now.  There was a very sad incident that happened a week after I posted.

One of the strays was found dead in my nice neighbor's yard. She was heavily decomposed, but i recognized her as one of our healthy, young strays by her foot and tail.

My nice neighbor was away in Belgium, so I was faced with the task of cleanup. This cat was in great shape so I'll always wonder if was the mothballs or not.

After my last post, I bought even more mint and have tried to make things even more kitty friendly in our yard.

Today I heard some commotion on neighbor's deck.

She had someone set up more patio furniture and also a big patio umbrella.

The umbrella is closed right now and is bascially a big neon hello sign to kittehs to climb up.

I did go and see if she ever put any of my ideas to use.

The only thing that's been done is the chicken wire I helped install in her garden beds. So frustrating.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July, my 5th anniversary since I started dating my fiance and my 1st day off from work in 21 days.

I am dreading it when I should be excited. 

I just heard her grumbling and talking to herself angrily while cleaning up her yards. I can only imagine it's about the kittehs.

What might be some good ways to handle the neighbor if she starts her freak out again ?

I'm wondering whether your neighbour has dementia or similar condition. 

I can't help but feel sorry for someone who is so full of hatred - it must be an awful life.

Do you think it is possible to talk to her husband?

Just wanted to say thank you for some great tips.  We recently adopted a feral, Claire, aka Ghostcat.  She is very shy.  It's been 3 months now and she just started to talk to me. 

I was feeding Claire for a long time.  One of my coworkers told me Claire had been picked up by Animal Control & was due to be euthanized along with other strays.  Since I work for the county, I was able to get her out, spayed and rescued. 

We also have a mean neighbor who was trapping cats...even neighbor cats.

Right now, Claire is an indoor cat, not wanting to go outside, but I am leaving it up to her.  We have a fenced in yard.

Thank you again, everyone for the  tips on dealing with difficult neighbors.  Intend on planting mint in the near future...

Happy Caterday

I commend you, seriously. There is no way I would be able to be so civil with such an unwilling, nasty person for so long. Personally I would remind her that I am not doing all these nice things for HER but for the CATS that wander into her property. 

I've been fortunate in that we've only ever had one neighbor like that, but with him it wasn't cats, it was dogs.

When my dad was dying, we were keeping his cockapoo, Toby, because neither he nor my mother had attention to spare for Toby.  I would spend most of the day at my parents' house, and Toby had to be locked in the back yard with food and water (we couldn't just leave the door open for him because of the cat).  Toby was understandably upset about this, and expressed himself on the subject rather loudly, so the neighbor behind us called the police.

I went to talk to the neighbor about it -- it seemed to me that the least he could have done was talk to us first, but he was adamant that it was all our fault and he'd been right to call the police.  I explained about my dad, and asked if he'd be willing to cut us a bit of slack during this difficult time -- no, he would not cut us any slack.  And what was the neighborhood coming to?  There was dog poop all over the place (none of it Toby's, I might add), and it was so noisy -- our air conditioner was too noisy, and what was that nasty noise-maker over by the park (it's a pump that keeps the little lake aerated year-round), and he hated everybody.  (To put this guy in perspective, when the home-owners' association wanted someone to look for and report covenant violations, he volunteered.  Because it was exactly the kind of thing he wanted to do.)

Eventually he decided our neighborhood was so horrible he was going to move away.  My husband visited their getting-rid-of-the-junk-in-the-basement garage sale, and commented to the man's wife that he hoped her husband would be happier in his new home.  She gave him a pained smile when she thanked him -- she knew that my husband actually meant that her husband would never be happy anywhere, because he's determined not to be.

You are an angel for trying so hard to protect the cats in your neighborhood, and for trying so hard to get along with this neighbor.  I hope she decides soon that she can't stand living near so much wildlife and moves away, because I'm afraid that's the only thing that will really work.

Margret

I personally don't like it when one of my neighbors leaves their barking dog out in the yard for hours. I only complained about it once, very nicely, when I had a bad headache and the barking went on forever. I just asked for the neighbor to take her dog inside for a while. "Then he'll bark inside" was her response.  She and her family have given me the cold shoulder since because I dared to ask them to take their barking dog inside. I believe in being civil to my neighbors and their pets, and I've asked the neighbor next to me, who was threatening me about my feral, Muffin, a few summers ago, to let me know if he ever sprays on her property or disturbs anything and I will clean it up. So far Muffin hasn't done that, to my knowledge, except a few times on their air conditioner component outside when he was trying to chase off two strange ferals someone released on our block last summer. I don't think she even noticed he did that, and I cleaned it up. I think that for most people, claiming responsibility for any objectionable behavior of the ferals will pacify them.

What I've noticed is that people who hate cats don't have a rational reason for it--they just hate them.

Another good thing about trapping and fixing feral cats (in addition to cutting down on the feral population) is that the majority of ferals who have been trapped with a humane trap will never venture into one again, so Animal Control and the Humane Society will be unable to trap them again to euthanize them. It's illegal in most places to shoot a cat, so these ferals are fairly safe.  

I don't like barking dogs either.  If there was any way I could have prevented it I would have.

My point is that, unlike you, this neighbor didn't ask us -- he just called the police.  Also, that when I tried to talk to him about it what I got was a diatribe about all the other noises in the neighborhood.

And, fairly recently, when a neighbor got a new dog that tended to howl, I talked about it (not asking for help, just discussing) with my across-the-street neighbor who seems to be the unofficial guardian angel for the entire neighborhood.  I said that, while the howling bothered me, I didn't want to be like the anti-social neighbor who called the police about Toby, and I didn't want the other neighbors to have to give up their new pet.  I don't know what Doyle did, but shortly after that the howling stopped.

Some people just hate -- cats, dogs, humans, whatever you can think of.  (I know people who refused to watch a new television show in an established franchise because the theme music was different!)

We all have our likes and dislikes, but most of us are willing to be reasonable.  Some people aren't.  The question is, how do the rest of us cope with the unreasonable ones, and absent a neighborhood guardian angel I don't have an answer.

Margret

One way to deal with an unreasonable neighbor with regard to cats, anyway, is to be pro-active. My neighbor who complained was upset because she saw a baby groundhog on my porch eating Muffin's dry food which I leave out during the day, and wrongly concluded that my feeding my feral cat would lead to all sorts of wildlife coming on her property. Which is ridiculous, because we have woods around us, so there are always groundhogs, opossum, raccoons, and the occasional deer wandering onto our properties, whether or not I leave food out for my feral during the day. She said that if I continued to leave food out for Muffin, she would "take action" and that I had "been warned." So I went to our local police and showed them a picture of Muffin, inquired about the laws, and asked for their advice. The officer assured me I was allowed to leave food out on my property, and that the neighbor could not do anything about it, and that if she tried to hurt the cat to let them know because that IS illegal. Then I emailed  a picture of Muffin to my local Humane Society and asked that if by some chance this woman managed to hire Animal Control to trap him, that he belonged to me (he's been trapped before so he won't go into a trap again--but I wanted to cover all bases). Then I called Animal Control to ask about their policies and was informed that they do not bother trapping healthy stray cats. Then I put up a curtain around my porch railing and hung hanging plants so that her view of my porch was obscured. Then I informed the other neighbors on my block (who are all animal lovers who feed strays and ferals themselves) about her threats so the tide of public opinion was against her, and I'm pretty sure she heard about it. The neighbor and I didn't speak for several months, until one day her husband broke the ice and started talking to me again. Two years later, Muffin hangs out on her back porch and yard and is not afraid of her, and I inform her of what's going on with him, and there's a truce and understanding that I love this cat and she will not hurt him. Not every difficult neighbor scenario works out this well, but I guess my point is that there are some steps we can take to protect our feral cats. Also, Muffin would legally be considered mine since he has a rabies vaccination certificate with my name on it--so in the case of TNR, anyone who has this certificate can claim the ferals are their pets, which offers further legal protection from spiteful neighbors. This is the best advice I can give to anyone in this situation.