Timothy

parisamor

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 I lost my 1.5 year old beautiful baby, Timothy, to FIP last week and came here for some comfort as the pain is too much.

I had only 1 cat in my house and he was always kept inside. I brought him in on 18 January 2013, he had fleas at the time which we cured. he grew up looking healthy and playful. He was neutered on october. had all his vaccines which I dont know if these have caused him to develop weak immune system or not. I cannot help but to feel guilty =[  He was gone in 18 of april 2014.

My experience started with him drinking too much water and less food and then with stoping both! at first the symptoms looked like ulcer but ultrasound and xrays showed nothing and then they susspected liver, kidney and nothing found! he had been tested for FIV, FeLV and all was negative. the most significant symptoms were fever that didnt respond to medication and would come back and bacteria infection in the blood test. He didnt have diarrhoea but very dark stool. so they ran a test for antibody titre for FCoV and it was highly positive.  they diagnosed him with FIP dry but the vet suggest not to put him down until he shows critical signs and i suggest you do the best you can do for him as you can never be sure with FIP.

he had Marbocyl for antibiotics and Steroids to suppress the immune system with other supplements as iron and fish oil...

The sad part about this disease is that it can give false hopes, at first i noticed his back legs do a very minor slip but it went away and after that a very minor head shaking came in which the vet suspected is becuz of the fever. then they all went away and he was very alert and would follow me around everywhere! he didnt want to be alone for a second and would sit next to me! I had to force feed him during these time and all the medications as well. In my experience it was easier for him if when I did this alone and talked to him to calm him down without any towel or anything else (he would try to ran away if I wrap him or someone else held him). The best thing you can do is to calm him down.

To me he was getting better until suddenly he started having seizures. the first time the medication for seizure helped but the final night he start having seizure one after another and the medication wouldnt help until he was in shock and couldnt remember me or his surroundings and the final he wasnt getting out of it and that was the time for me to put him down. I couldnt do it any time sooner as the feeling and the guilt was too much. I still feel that maybe it was my fault or I could anything any other way...
 
 
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red top rescue

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My heart breaks for your loss of Timothy.  FIP is devastating disease that you can do nothing to predict, nothing to prevent and nothing to cure.  While you can test for FeLV and FIV, you cannot test for FIP because it doesn’t exist on its own.  It is caused by a virus that lives harmlessly in many cats but mutates in some to a deadly new form.  It can lie dormant for years and then mutate and become lethal.  I have had this happen twice, in litters of rescued kittens, where one kitten develops FIP at some point in its first year, usually, and none of the others do, nor does the mother cat.  The “wet” form where the belly fills up with fluid moves and fastest and it easiest to diagnose, but the dry form, like your cat had, is much harder to diagnose.  In fact, until more serious signs develop than the lack of appetite and low grade fever, it could always be another disease, so at that point there is still hope.  You had a very wise vet who treated Timothy properly with antibiotics, steroids and supplements.  He advised you to wait and see, because there is always a hope that it might be something else, or your cat might be the one very rare cat that actually recovers from FIP.  The leg wobble and the head shaking were signs the FIP had invaded the nervous system, and it was only a matter of time before he started having seizures.  You did everything you could do, and you were forced to let him go anyhow.  You have no reason to have any guilt here.  You could not have prevented the virus from mutating, and once that has happened, it is just a matter of time before it will take a cat’s life.  At least Timothy had 1 ½ years of being loved and cared for, and he was never neglected or abandoned.  His life may have been short but it was full of everything a cat could want.  Now you just have to deal with the grieving.  I think each one that we lose makes our heart even bigger and stronger for the next one that we choose to love when the time is right.  There will never be another Timothy, and he will hold his place in your heart forever, but there will be another cat who needs your love when you are ready.  You were a perfect cat guardian for Timothy and no cat could ask for more.  When you are ready to love a cat again, he will be a very lucky cat.  Until then, just let the tears come until they finally stop and you treasure the happy memories of the time you had together without feeling the ache of the loss any more.

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di and bob

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I feel your pain, and I hope you'll let us share some of your grief. You both fought a terrible battle you didn't win, but you shouldn't feel guilt or have doubts because you did everything you could. It's normal to have these feelings when you are grieving, it comes with a broken heart. Please let us share your grief and try to lessen the burden on your soul. You shared in Timothy's pain, you tried to help, it was all you could do. He had only one and a half years with you, but it was filled with love and a bond that will never die. He will live on forever in your heart. I know how badly the pain hurts, it crushes our souls until we feel we can't take any more. But please remember, Timothy would never want you to be so sad, he would want you to remember and rejoice in the love you two shared. Please be gentle with yourself, an dhave patience, it takes a long time to heal the hole in your heart. Bless you for loving so much, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. RIP beautiful Timothy, I'm so sorry you couldn't spend a longer time on this earth with your family, but the heavens gained a beautiful angel!
 

goholistic

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  
  FIP is awful, and Timothy is no longer suffering. You showed him your love and gave him a great home for 1.5 years.

Rest in peace, beautiful boy. 
 

jcat

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I'm very sorry for your loss. :rbheart: FIP is a devastating disease that there's no control over, i.e., whatever you did or didn't do would not have averted Timothy's fate. His life was too short, but it was filled with love, which is the most important thing.
 
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parisamor

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thank you for your kind words. I am feeling better than the last. week it is just the pain of looking around the house and not seeing him there; as I live abroad, away from my family and he was my only companion. watching his videos and photos... I really miss him =[ for now I dont feel safe about myself taking care of another cat or dog as I feel I might fail them and cannot handle this to happen at the moment. I guess I just need to be strong for now and let these sad days pass by.
This is one of his videos that I had with him fetching paper...

 
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