R.I.P. Snowball 2000~2014

tonyb500

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I just said goodbye to my baby girl, Snowball, after 14 wonderful years with her. And it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. This cat and I grew up together. My mom got her for me when I was 10 and she was just a kitten of less than a month old. We've been through so much since then. For example, during a statewide blizzard in October 2011 that caused a massive blackout, she slept next to me head in bed at night every night that week. And she always loved to rub her face against my own face, purring happily as she did so. And of course, she liked to lay on my lap form time to time.

And now...she's gone. I have given her the world, and watching her go was devastating. She was diagnosed on Valentine's Day with oral squamous cell carcinoma, and managed to hold on up until this morning. And it's one of the most common yet deadliest things a cat can get. And just a year and a half ago, she went to the vet for the first time since she was young, and the vet did several checkups. There was nothing wrong with her. And then this year, it struck so suddenly.

We had her put down here at home, the environment she lived in her entire life. But it was still stressful. When the vet gave her the sedatives, she fought them all the way, even reaching out her paw toward my mother. And when she was being put down, she just laid there and stared at me the entire time, until her face changed, her body went limp, and she was gone. My baby girl was gone. And I cried. Heavily. Even though it was just recently, I already miss her so much.

I am not sure how to cope with this loss, waking up every morning and knowing that she isn't sleeping at the bottom of my bed. That she isn't being finicky about the food my mom gave her. That she's not going to jump up to a high place just to rub her face against mine. That she won't be greeting me when I come home...I just love her so much. And I feel like my life has so little purpose now. I still have so much love to give, and now she isn't here for me to give it to her.

I just wanted to vent, because I loved that cat more than anything. Rest in peace, Snowball. You are my little angel, even now. And you'll always be my baby girl. I love you...goodbye.
 

mani

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TonyB.. I wept when I read your beautiful and oh so sad post. I'm sure many others will do the same.

Snowball was obviously a gorgeous girl and a wonderful companion... you were blessed to have had your time together.

       


      RIP Beautiful Snowball

      
 
 
 
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mycatwasthebest

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When I and my (first) cat were each about 6 years older than you and Snowball I lost him. I took 2 days off of work. My boss said "you only took a day off for your grandmother." I said "I didn't live with her for almost 20 years." Take care and RIP Snowball.
 

happybird

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I am so sorry for your loss.
Your tribute to Snowball is so beautiful and sweet. The pain of your loss is palpable and I wish there were magic words to take it away, or lessen it, somehow.
Please know that she loved you just as much as you loved and cherished her. I believe with all my heart that you and Snowball will be reunited at the Rainbow Bridge and it will be a celebration.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
 
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jcat

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I'm very sorry about your loss. Fourteen years is a big chunk of your life, but our cats' lives just aren't long enough, and it's so difficult to part with them. The pain becomes less acute with time, and you'll find yourself focusing more on the happy memories of Snowball - they'll always be a part of you. RIP, sweetie. :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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I'm so very sorry for your loss, your heart does not know the difference between human and animal, it just feels the pain. You wrote a beautiful tribute to a treasured friend and companion, you honor her memory and the love you shared with your grief. In time, you'll remember her with smiles instead of tears, but for now you miss her presence in your life and mourn your loss. Please know we understand your pain on this site, and we will try to share your pain and lessen the burden you carry. I cry for you going through this, I know how much it hurts. Take care of yourself and bless you for loving so much to hurt so bad. RIP beautiful Snowball, you were loved and will be greatly missed .
 

toddc612

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I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know what it's like -- I lost my 16 year-old cat Miles just over a month ago.   It happened suddenly, as one morning he woke up and got very sick, and was gone by the end of the day.  Miles and I went through a lot, and I feel he experience every intimate part of my life with me.  Losing that companionship is very, very difficult to deal with.  I still experience times of great sadness.  However, I've learned to cherish the time I spent with him.

I know it's difficult, but I found it helpful to collect all the photos and images of him and have them in one spot so I can look at them now and again, especially when I feel down.  I love cats, dearly.  I feel I have a lot of love to give and I know I'll get another cat when the time is right, but I recognize that I'm still going through the healing process.

Take care of yourself.  My thoughts are with you. 
 

red top rescue

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Your tribute to Snowball made me cry, as it has others here.  The love you have for Snowball will never leave you, but the pain will eventually fade and become just a memory.  That's hard to believe when you are in the early days and the pain comes in waves and you are still feeling the sadness of saying goodbye more than the joy of the many years you had together.  That will change, but it will take time.  The memory of that last day is the sharpest one right now, but it was just one day in the long relationship you had with Snowball.  You gave her a wonderful life and a compassionate exit from her failing body, and she will be forever grateful for all of it.  Someday when you leave this physical world behind, you will stop by and scoop her up at the Rainbow Bridge and your souls will be together again.  You are still so young and she was your first cat love, and she will always hold that Number One spot, but hopefully in time there will be more cats in your life.  When the time is right, the right cat will be there, needing you, and you will be ready and able to open your heart again.  Until that time, just keep crying when the waves of sadness hit.  You can't go around the pain, you just have to plow right through it until you get to the other side.  We are all so very sorry for your loss. 

 
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goholistic

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I'm so sorry your loss, @TonyB500
  Wow...fourteen years. What a life you've had together. It sounds like Snowball was there for you through thick and thin. She knew how much you loved her.

Rest in peace, little angel. 
 

musicalcats

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What a beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry for your loss. As someone who just went through this and is still grieving, my advice to you is to continue seeking support from other cat lovers and telling your story. It's been the most therapeutic thing for me, in addition to visiting the shelter and rescuing a stray kitten. The grief of losing my beloved Felix hasn't disappeared but having a kitten in my home has removed the loneliness of a cat-less home and given me an outlet for my love of cats and a purpose in saving my little Friedrich.
 
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