need help has anyone ever been a cat foster?

has anyone here ever fostered an young adult cat? I am just having such a hard time over being convinced to give mine up for foster i miss him so much i am so so worried about him i need to know what he may be going through...i am trying to get him back as we speak but im not sure i can

I have but I guess I don't understand exactly what you are asking? I've never given my cats up to be fostered, so as the fosterer I think that my experiences are likely to be very different than yours 

Can you provide more details about your situation? What do you mean you are trying to get your cat back? Has he already been given to a foster? Why do you need someone to foster him or her?

i had too many cats and i found a group that fosters when i had kittens from a rescue mom cats i had and i couldnt find them homes..well i got in over my head and ended up with 25 cats in my 2 bedroom apt and my neighbors were complaining and my manager threatened to kick me out so 2 weeks ago i set it up so that the same foster group would take my 2 year old cats but one of them was not supposed to leave but my sons insisted and insisted  and managed to convince me in my very emotional state that it was what was best for him...but ever since i gave him over i have been near hysterics...he was very attached to me and i should have never let my kids tell me i need to know how he would have handled a foster would he be too sad to eat would he be crying for me still  or do they adjust right away...i am trying to get him adopted by my friedn so i can at least see him often and i will know he will be in good hands..please if u can tell me how they handle being fostered

In all honesty it varies cat to cat but I highly doubt that he would not be eating or would still be crying for you. Sorry if this is too blunt but cats just very rarely react like that, especially for extended periods.  if they react badly it tends to be more that they are hiding and don't want to come out or similar. 

With that said, yes, it just depends on the cat.  Some adjust VERY quickly. others take a bit longer, but for the most part they seem to feel relatively happy and safe in a foster situation, especially given a bit of time. 

I am sorry your kids pressured you but it does sound like you were in over your head and that it was probably in the best interest of the cats to let them go.

Please keep us updated.

I am just totally distraught thinking he is scared and feeling so hurt I gave him away and that he wants to come home and he misses me and that he feeling abandoned…have you ever fostered young adult cats his age? Again hes 2

Hi again

In all honesty, you are projecting some very human emotions onto this cat.  Cats emotional processes are just not like ours. It is extremely unlikely that he feels any of these very human things. He might be a bit confused, or scared, or upset, but he is just not not having these complicated emotional processes that you are tempted to ascribe to him. As respectfully as possible, I think you are projecting your own feelings and fears onto him.

Please note I am not one of those people who believes that cats can't feel loyalty, or affection, or love.  However, I do not believe that they feel emotions the same way humans do or in the same range of ways.

I usually foster kittens, but yes, I have fostered cats his age. They all do fine, honestly. I can see that having given him over to a foster situation is very very upsetting for you, but the truth is, he is most likely doing just fine. 

This is sad to me, it sounds like yes, you most definitely had way too many cats in the place, but some are very special, and maybe you will always regret giving him up.

I have a cat rescue group, and have many fosters. I take in cats and kittens of all ages, and basically he is considered a younger adult cat. I tend to see the younger cats adapt fine, some faster than others though. Now senior cats is another story. They often become depressed and disinterested, which is just awful to see.

In time they too adapt.

It really all depends on the individual cat's personality as well as the other cats in the foster home. 

Most do go through the changes with less appetite, sleeping more, just a general anxious feeling, unsettled, don't really understand why they are there, and so on. Sometimes it's so minor it doesn't really get noticed as such, but other times like this one momma cat and kittens I have here now (for anyone who is familiar, it's my albino babies' momma) who honestly did not lift her head off of the floor for about 5 days. She wouldn't eat hardly anything at all the first 3 days, and then very little after that. She seemed very upset and depressed until I finally started getting worried about her and offering her canned food. Bingo!! Changed everything from then on, and has adapted pretty well now.

So it all depends on the cat as far as how long, but giving up a cat is definitely not only upsetting for you, but also for them just as much.

Kittens don't seem to go through this at all though. 

Other cats being fostered in the home causes different reactions too. It's stressful for all of them to a point.

maybe you can help me i actually do not even really know the process of this foster and rescue program..what actually goes on? Do they get shuffled around from home to home? Do they get sent to shelters? How long do fosters "foster" before giving up? what is his life in general like now?I am completely devastated because as hard as it was to give them all up and another one was also rather special but he was a much more independent kitty so I dont worry so much about him but this one I am so upset over was very special he was a very clingy baby and I never ever wanted to hurt him

I keep telling myself that very thing but what bothers me is we dont really know they have no way to speak so they could just be suffering silently feeling what we do...the reason why my heart and head are confused when I try to convince myself that I am projecting, I see the relationship my sons 4 year old cat has with him and its is very unusual...this cat has super super strong attachment to him and shows it in a very amazing and loving way, he jumps into his arms and kisses his face all over (the cat does this to my son) and rubs his head all over his face and touches his face with his paws and looks into his eyes and just loves on him

I know you did not want to hurt him 

How the fostering is deal with probably varies from organization to organization.  Where I foster now, and at the places I've fostered in the past, you basically get a call if you are on the foster list.  They tell you during the call how old the cat or cats or kittens are, how many of them there are, any health issues or concerns, and, if the cats are older, basic notes on personality. They will also give you very basic background info as to what kind of situation the cats are coming from.

At that point, I either say, yes, I can take on these fosters at this time, or no, I cannot. If I say yes, I can, I go to 'meet' the cat or kittens, and take them home.

How exactly they will be treated in a home depends on who is fostering.  For instance, I have resident cats, so any fosters I take on are confined to one room as a general rule, and this is a big reason why I favor kittens- sometimes adult cats, understandably, don't like this arrangement, but for kittens it is actually often preferable particularly when they are very little.  People without residents may allow the cat free range of the house.  Generally volunteers are very kind and cat loving people and you can trust the cat will be played with, well fed, and otherwise taken care of.

Generally, the goal is that the one foster situation will last until the cat or cats are adopted.  However, they also ask about time constraints if any during the initial call. Sometimes with kittens, I will need to give any remaining ones back to the shelter where they will stay until adoption if I cannot get them all adopted out before a new litter needs to come into my home.  For perspective, sometimes letting a new litter in is the only way to avoid their being euthanized on intake, wheraes the older kittens will just go th the shelter until they find a home, so sometimes I view this as the best choice. With older cats, generally fosters try to commit to housing them until a furever home can be found. They may switch from one home to another after a certain period of time though if the original foster, for whatever reason, can't keep them any longer.

Again, though, different groups may work differently, but I hope this gives you some basic idea.

Georgiesmommy said:

 
maybe you can help me i actually do not even really know the process of this foster and rescue program..what actually goes on? Do they get shuffled around from home to home? Do they get sent to shelters? How long do fosters "foster" before giving up? what is his life in general like now?I am completely devastated because as hard as it was to give them all up and another one was also rather special but he was a much more independent kitty so I dont worry so much about him but this one I am so upset over was very special he was a very clingy baby and I never ever wanted to hurt him

Click to expand...

@Georgiesmommy

We don't know the specifics of the foster program, that would be a question for them, but it isn't like a human foster situation in which kids sometimes get shuffled from home to home.  All the foster situations I've been connected to the home keeps the cat until its ready to go into a shelter to be adopted, or is adopted by the foster home, or in some instances goes back to the owner.

I am going to make a suggestion to help you through this difficult time.  I know a woman who is very compassionate and she works for the ASPCA and man's their grief and bereavement hotline, and what you're going through is like a loss even though the cat is alive and I expect doing quite well as they tend to do.  This hotline is free.  Stephanie who works the hotline full time knows how to talk to people who are missing their cats.  She speaks to a lot of people who's cats are still alive, so she will be able to help you.

ASPCA Pet Loss Hotline at (877) GRIEF-10. (877-474-3310)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I have an idea what you're going through. I foster cats and some end up staying with me for a long time and it's very hard when they are adopted. Like you, I wonder if they are scared or sad or if they're okay. I usually ask adopters to email me with an update or so to tell me how they're doing which helps. However, having fostered many, many cats through the years I know that the separation is probably harder on me than the cat. With the exception of cats who have never lived inside or had much contact with people most cats settle in very well. The first couple of days can be hard on some because they're scared but after that they settle in and become part of the household. After a week they're just one of the cats. The same is true when they get adopted - they settle in just fine and continue to live happy lives.

Even though your cat was very attached to you he will manage just fine in his foster home and will go on to develop new attachments. I had a foster cat that I had from when she was a day old until she was a year and half. She was very close to me and was always riding around on my shoulder. When she was finally adopted I was worried and very sad. I didn't know how she would handle it in a new home after being with me her whole life. For the first two days she mainly hid under the bed in her new home. But on the third day she came out and rubbed up on her new mom's leg. The next day she slept in her bed and before long she was riding around on her shoulder like she did on mine. Now she's super spoiled and love her mama. She's doing great and is getting much more attention than she ever could get here with several other cats in the home. She's getting better care and it's a permanent, workable situation for her.

I know you want your little guy back but under the circumstances I think your son is right - where he is now is better for him. He will be able to get more attention, the vet care he needs and a home where he can stay for the rest of his life. As much as you love him and as much as you want to you just can't give him everything you need unless you're wealthy. If he got sick could you get him the care he needs? Are you sure you can make a life long (15-20 years) commitment to him and the other cats? I know if I had more cats than I do I couldn't do those things for them. I simply don't have the resources. Your boy now has the chance to be adopted and live in a permanent home where he'll be loved, spoiled and well cared for. Sometimes the loving thing to do is to let someone go. And I can assure you, having fostered over 40 cats through the years, he will be fine. People who foster cats love them and know how to make a cat feel comfortable so I'm sure he's getting good care and is loved there. Maybe you could contact the rescue and ask for the foster parents' email address so you can communicate with them to give you some peace of mind.

You've done the right thing for all the cats. Hugs.

Georgiesmommy said:

I keep telling myself that very thing but what bothers me tv hf t.v. is we dont really know they have no way to speak so they could just be suffering silently feeling what we do...the reason why my heart and head are confused when I try to convince myself that I am projecting, I see the relationship my sons 4 year old cat has with him and its is very unusual...this cat has super super strong attachment to him and shows it in a very amazing and loving way, he jumps into his arms and kisses his face all over (the cat does this to my son) and rubs his head all over his face and touches his face with his paws and looks into his eyes and just loves on him

Click to expand...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I Love my babies so much that I would also stress to the point
of being hospitalized if I had to surrender mine. My heart aches for you. You were overwhelmed. You had more then you could handle. If they had gotten ill you would of been put in a difficult situation. I myself paid over 5000 in vet care in 6 months and I only have 4.
They are getting the best care and all fosters do it for the love of animals. He is getting love!!!!

Thank you thank you StephenQ!! You will never know how valuable that number is to me i have been searching for help ...I am still grieving the loss of my Georgie in October and this was just the milk that boiled this pot over

Thank you for that information I was so unsure of what was happening...I was hoping they would not go to a shelter but i am more concerned about them being euthanized just because...also I had heard rumors about this particular group (after) that they were just hauling these cats off to a distant shelter and putting them down but I dug a little deeper and found it to be false but my bran is always asking how they have all this room since they turn no one away when every other rescue i called said no way we have no room.....i had no idea how the foster program worked, so thank you for telling me

Goergiesmommy,

Since this is a foster group and not a shelter you don't need to worry about your cat going to a shelter or being shuffled around. Cats that go to shelters are sometimes fostered temporarily because they have some problem that needed to be tended to and then they're returned to the shelter to be adopted. But it doesn't sound like your boy went to a shelter but to a rescue. At a rescue the cats would stay in someone's home until they're adopted. As someone mentioned, some foster homes have special foster rooms where the cats stay until they're adopted. Other foster homes, like mine, have the cats living as a part of the family like my own cats do. I do quarantine new cats for ten days in a spare bedroom that is set up for the cats to make sure they don't have any diseases that could be spread to the other cats. After that they come out and become part of the family. Some are adopted in a few weeks. Others are here for a couple of years.

Most rescues make a lifetime commitment to their cats so if they for some reason can't be adopted they would stay with the rescue. I think you should contact the organization that took your cats and tell them that you're worried and would like an update.

Just curious, do you have the name of the group that took your cats? What state are you in?

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]

 

 

Thank you so much for that I am starting to feel much better everyone has just been so amazing on here..I jut miss him so very very much..and I know you are right I could not afford vet care for him if something were to happen..I have a cat that has been mine since I  adopted him at 5 weeks old when someone posted that his momma had been kit by a car and killed and he is now 12 and seems to be in perfect health (fingers crossed)  I am very happy everyone here has had some type of experience it feels a lot of weight off my shoulders knowing more about how fostering works….

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]Thank you so much..this is so hard for me I feel so guilty for it all and I hope this pain eases sooner rather than later….if they would maybe send me a pic I could relax

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <woNotOptimizeForBrowser/> </w:WordDocument></xml><![endif]I do ask all the time and I always here that they are fine, but again my brain goes to “Of course they are going to say that! What are they going to tell me, that it all went horribly wrong or that they had to get put down?” NO of course not! That’s what my brain says to be EVERYTIME I try to relax about it…they have also asked me not to call because they did me the favor and they are too busy to address my fears