How do I know when my cat is ready to go?

About a year and a half ago, my bestest buddy Jules was diagnosed with a malignant tumor on his tongue, which impaired his ability to eat and clean himself, and made him drool a lot. The vet said the cancer would spread quickly and gave him only two months to live at most - he said he wouldn't really die of the cancer, but rather he would be unable to eat.

Miraculously - and with help from the anti-inflammatory medication we got for him - Jules has defied death and has been in relative good health since his diagnosis. The vet has been amazed at his condition. He's been a bit of a sloppy eater, but otherwise he's been the same great guy I've loved for 15 years.

However, about two weeks ago, he began having more trouble eating. Out of one can of food, he could eat maybe 2/3 of it. The rest was a soupy mess he couldn't eat. I took him in and the vet said the back of his mouth has become irritated, and said this is probably the beginning of his decline.

I'm looking for someone who has been through this type of thing before. Again, the doctor said it won't be the cancer that gets him per se... rather he will not be able to eat.

Here's my fear: I'm afraid that even though he won't be able to eat anymore, he won't want to die. I hate to think that I'm going to take that final trip to the vet with him and he'll be looking at me thinking, "Hey...I don't want to die, I just want someone to help me eat!" In that sense, I don't know if I'll be able to tell if he wants to be relieved of his misery.

Is there a way to tell? At this point, I'd rather the cancer take him. I don't want to think that I'm going to take him to his demise one day when mentally he's not prepared to go. Can anyone help?

Thank you

This is always such a tough question and one ultimately that only you can answer. I think you have to consider his daily quality of life. Is he still enjoying life? If so, and the cancer is not causing him pain, then I would wait.

If the only issue is that it is getting difficult for him to eat, is a feeding tube an option?

First off, you are an amazing person for helping this little guy when so many others wouldn't have given him a chance. And Jules showed you that he was up to the challenge. Cats can be amazingly resilient, cant they? When I was one week out of school, I met this stray cat on Vancouver Island. Someone brought him into the clinic. He was a skinny but spunky guy, full of piss and vinegar. I fed him, took care of him, but noticed that it was hard for him to eat (it was also hard to look in his mouth). I thought it was just the really bad dental disease he had. It wasnt until I went to fix his teeth that I saw he had a tumour growing in his mouth. I was pretty attached to this guy (even if only a week had gone by). I kept him going. His personality was all intact. He loved the sun coming up in the morning. The multiple meals a day that would be hard for a street cat to even imagine - he loved it. I learned how adaptable and tough these guys could be. One morning, I found him feeding himself with his paw. As in using his paw like a spoon, to scoop up food and place it into his mouth to try and eat. He lived his last week in luxury. Sunshine, as much food and attention he wanted, sheltered from the vancouver drizzle. I euthanized him before his personality could leave him. Before he could realize that the best days were over. 

take care,

k

This is never an easy decision, but you can't play the "what if" game or you'll go crazy.  When it came time to make the decision for my Callie, it came down to thinking of what was best for her and her quality of life.  She had chronic renal failure and detested being restrained to have IV treatments, so I knew that daily fluid treatments wasn't in the cards for her.  When it came to the point that she wasn't eating, wasn't grooming herself, her fur looked brittle and nasty, and the sparkle had left her eyes, I knew it was time.  In hindsight, I waited too long, but I wasn't ready to let her go.  I wanted to keep her with me and I was being selfish and in denial.  However, when I really looked at her and her behavior, I knew it was time.  It was the most difficult decision I've ever had to make, but it was the most sacrificial and loving thing I could do for her.  That was in 2010 and I've missed her every day since, but I know she's in no more pain.