I feel guilty, but we just aren't warming up to our semi-feral queen

Hi everyone, I first joined about 2 months ago because a pregnant stray had moved onto our porch. She then had the kittens behind the house and I brought them inside. Fast forward almost 7 weeks to now; all 5 kittens are doing very well and love my roommates and I. The mama on the other hand, she only likes me and that is only half the time.

She randomly hisses and growls, sometimes when I go to pet her other times when I walk by and it doesn't matter if I'm paying attention to her or not. They all sleep in my bedroom and when they were very small her box was in a far corner behind a couch (my bedroom is pretty large), but she would randomly try to relocate the kittens in the middle of the night. Once I woke up and she had opened up the door to my sunroom and had half of the kittens freezing on the floor. Even now, she'll call them to nurse in random corners of my bedroom. Eventually the kittens decided that they would rather sleep under my bed. She constantly calls them to nurse, often waking them up both in the day and the middle of the night. It also seems like she's more interested in nursing than they are. My roommates and I play with the kittens and she doesn't seem to mind, but then if they initiate play with us she gets upset and tries to nurse them. Half of the time they don't listen to her calling for them, especially when they get the chance to run up and down the hallway.

The problem is that I think she is trying to teach the kittens to be afraid or not like us. After she starts hissing the kittens copy her although eventually they forget and run up to us, however sometimes they will be playing and she'll make that whine/growl sort of noise and then the kittens freak out and try to hide. We have let them outside and it looks like she may be trying to lead them away (they didn't follow) but she just meowed and meowed even when everyone was back inside. We're all college students and the constant calling to her kittens even when they are asleep and alone in a room while we're trying to study is annoying and because she doesn't like any of my roommates they don't like her. I feel bad, but I think I'm starting to resent her as well. I can pet her, but that's it. She hates all music at any volume, yet the tv could be all the way up and she doesn't care. This is kind of a big deal since we tend to play more music than watch tv.

I know it is ideal to have kittens stay with mom for 12 weeks, but I'm afraid that she's trying to teach the kittens bad habits. I will be taking her to get spayed next week. Would it be terrible if after she recovers I put her back outside? The kittens should be just about 8 weeks. They eat canned food and still nurse but usually its mom initiating nursing. I'm planning to keep two and adopting the other three out. I feel bad that it's not working out but since I'm not the only one living in the house I have to consider them as well. Also, I'm in Southern California where the weather is mostly nice.

P.S. Is it common for feral mama cats to always want to nurse their kittens, like every 2 hours at 7 weeks old? She doesn't actually play with her kittens (or me or toys) she just watches and calls to them for 10 mins at a time. They wake up look at her and go back to sleep and she's still meowing both loudly and softly.

Hello. 

Thank you for trying to help this mama cat and her babies, it sounds like you are doing a great job with them.

The fact that she is already allowing you to pet her and came into your house suggests that she is stray rather than a feral. True feral cats take a lot longer to get used to people. As you don't know anything about her previous home it's hard to tell what her objections to music and being petted are. Is there one particular spot on her body that she hisses if you touch? She might have an injury there. Ask the vet to check her all over carefully when she goes to be spayed. Cats sometimes get abscess under their skin from old bites or scratches.

Mother cats tend to be quite vocal when they have kittens. It's just her way of trying to keep track of where they all are. You don't need to worry about the kittens hissing or growling. At this stage they are learning cat social skills and practicing how to use their hisses and growls for later.

If the mother cat seems really uncomfortable being indoors you could put her outside again after she's had time to recover from being spayed, but is there any chance you could find another home for her? She'll mellow out a lot once she's been spayed and her kittens have grown up. Maybe a home with only one or two people would suit her.

As for the kittens, keep them inside. It's a big, bad world out there and little kittens are in danger from all kinds of stuff.  Most people prefer their cats to be indoor only, so there is really no need to get them used to going outside, especially the ones that will be going to new homes. You could start getting them used to walking on a harness when they get a little older. Most harnesses will be way too big for them at the moment, but once they get big enough to wear one you could put one on while they are indoors to get them used to the idea.

If the kittens are already on solid food they'll soon be ready to give up their mother's milk. She might feel uncomfortable if she is still producing a lot of milk but they are not suckling, which is why she is calling them to nurse.. As your vet about this.

Good luck and keep us posted.