It is time for that hard decision for my Fenfen

~It was so fast, faster than I can ever prepare for. My 12yr kitty was not drinking and eating last Nov and since she had such case one year before, we get the Vet check her again. This time, they detected hyperthyroidism. Then we are on the drug with various dosage to tapper T4 down to the normal range. As long as there is a treatment, I am find with it. She regained some weight from around 6 back to 7.8lb. Then three weeks earlier, she stopped eating again. Our vet immediately blood work and showed three times higher of WBC. Then, following that Friday, we had her checked with X-ray. Then, everything started blurring in my mind. They found a 3cm in diameter mass in her lung. Then, the ultrasound biopsy followed by a CT scan this Monday. Worse than we all thought, she had tumors all over her muscle, shoulder, back, two legs, some smaller ones in the lung. Our oncology vet does not suggestion surgery or chemo, as this might be close to the end. She gave her a steroid shot, antinausea shot and hopefully to help her feel better. It was predicted that the steroid would probably last at least one week or longer. However, two days after that, she stopped eating and drinking again. Maybe just one or two licks on can food, does not matter what flavor or format or brand I provide.

In my mind, I knew it is coming, but I keep getting the feeling that maybe she can still pull through several more days if not feel too bad. Every hour passed by, my desperate mind fights with my heart, which is barely holding without total broken. One minute I thought maybe I will just keep syringe feeding her till she totally not feel comfortable; next minute I think I would not want her to suffer that situation of falling down helplessly. What to do, any suggestions, can I hold her a little longer but still ensure her comfortable? Almost can not image if tomorrow is coming and she is not there peeking out of the window when I drove back. I will never be able to fill the emptiness if she is not there any more.

Hi and I'm so sorry you are going through this.  You are not alone in this and many many people feel after the fact that they either put their animal down too soon or too late, but there is only one real wrong way, and that is doing it too late.

If she feels ok and if the meds have helped her then enjoy what time you have.  But if she is stops eating, or using the litter box, or has a far away look to her eyes, or otherwise seems to you to not be enjoying her life, the it is time to give her that final gift of love and release her from her disease with the help of your vet.  many vets will perform house calls for this purpose.

Our animals live in the moment and not in the future.  If her current time isn't comfortable, and we know her future won't be better, then it is time for that selfless final gift.

The ASPCA bereavement hotline frequently takes calls from people who are not sure if the time has come to let their animal go.  I know some of the people who answer these calls and they are very compassionate and very experienced and will help counsel you in this time of great need.  Please consider calling them.  Pet Loss Hotline at (877) GRIEF-10 or (1-877-474-3310) http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-loss

I'm so very sorry for what you are going through. 

I'm so sorry for you and Fenfen.  But I think you will know the right answer--you love your kitty and will not want her to suffer if she is in pain or has no more quality of life.  My thoughts are with you--this is the toughest decision a pet owner ever has to make.

Thank you all so much! I apologize for not replying earlier.

After that hard weekend struggle, I made a 180 degree turn decision with the great help from my vets. I chose to provide anything possible to facilitate her enjoying life, does not matter how long she wants.

since her tumors spread into most of the muscle part, no liver or bone invasion by CT scan, my oncology vet ensured me the pain is not too much as long as it is not in those major organs. Also due to the sites of invasion, we are not taking aggressive procedures such as surgery removal or chemo. She is on multiple meds to boost her appetite, anti-inflammation, anti-nausea and hyperthyroidism. Her breath rates remain around 22-26/min and body weight around 6.8-7.2lb.

I ensure her food intake (grain-free canned food) is about 6oz per day. In addition, around 5ml of senior cat vitamin and 5ml of Nutri-Cal. It appears to me that she is still enjoying her life. Fenfen purrs alot and brought me her soft ball asking for play.

I also provide her some valium and buprenorphrine in case observed slower movement with more frequent rest or switching position of resting. It usually help her move more comfortably.

 

Meanwhile, I also use a syringe feeding once I notice her food intake is less than 6oz per day. And I found a plastic pipette acting more like a dropper cause minimum trauma to her. I was disencouraged to do so, syringe feeding, for that one of my vet suggest it may make kitties not willing to eat by themselves. But I found this pipette is much more normal to her than a true syringe. It basically provide food on her tongue and she gulfed it down.

 

 

Thank you for feeling for Fenfen and I will keep you updated.

I'm so glad you will have some time with her, enjoy every minute of it. Take pictures and hug her!

Indeed, having time to be with her is the most precious to us. She is such a sweetie and a brave fighter! I cherish every minutes she allows to share with us! Many thanks for thinking of Fenfen.

I'm so sorry to hear about Fenfen. Its so hard when you have had a cat that is a big part of your life and they get sick. All you can do is give them extra love and let them go when the time comes. Its never an easy choice. My thoughts are with you.

beiyan said:

Indeed, having time to be with her is the most precious to us. She is such a sweetie and a brave fighter! I cherish every minutes she allows to share with us! Many thanks for thinking of Fenfen.

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I am sorry you are going through this. Many of us know and understand where you are now. Enjoy every minute. Hold her and tell her all the time how special she is and how much she is loved. You and Fenfen are in my prayers.

How is she now?

For you who have been feeling for Fenfen, I can not say enough thanks.

I am very sorry to update you with this bad news about Fenfen. She passed away yesterday morning at home. It was a sudden departure, even it seems that we have mentally prepared for the last month. She was active and eating and drinking, as well urination and defecation with all the meds. Even yon Monday, her breath rate was still 26/min and she was watching birds in the yard. She even caught a baby opossum on Sunday and we were scared and considering if any disease she might got even with all current shots.

During the night of Monday, she still jumped into bed to play. Around 5am in the morning, she jumped onto my husband, and suddenly fell and had a seizer like action for about 1 minute and panted several time, before we were able to figure out, she passed away in less than 2 minutes. I just hope my feeling was not wrong that she was not in too much of suffer and maybe tumor progression caused her a heart attack or a stroke, that eventually took her away from us.

Soon after that, I met with our Vets in the morning and had a final checkout. My vets and I have been discuss that after she jumped onto that rianbow bridge, we will do one last thing for her, to figure out what cause her cancer and how we can try our best to find a clue that could lead to a treatment or prevention in the future.  I wish this is something I can do for her to figure out what took her away and hopefully she will be able to help other cats in the future.

I know that she has provided us so much love and joy, and now is in another new but better place, that she will not only enjoy our never-ending love, but also more comfortable life and more love.

I am so very sorry to hear this news.  You loved her so much and took such good care of her.  I am so happy you got those last few weeks with her and that her last days, she was happy and playing.  My thoughts are with you and your husband.  

I am very sorry to hear this news.  You were great parents!  Thank you for sharing all your posts about Fenfen, we were all touched by your dedication and love.  I'm sure everyone would love to see a tribute to her when you're ready at the bridge forum http://www.thecatsite.com/f/19/crossing-the-bridge

With condolences,

Stephen