mental issues??

Hi everyone

Introduction to the problem:

I have two cats, female about 2 years old and male about 8 months old, both castrated.

Female was a very exuberant cat, liked to play a lot. Just taking a joy of life. About seven months ago I found a little kitten on the street (about a month old), was sorry for him, so decided to take him in, hoping the older cat would get a play friend in short future. At the very beginning everything was find, she was a bit anxious, but it took her about a week or two to get use to. After a month, little kitten got very ill, took about a month and a half for him to return to health, had a very serious surgery, almost daily visits to vet, but everything ended fine. Was trying to spend as much time as possible with her, but the little fella required lots of attention. For sure, she was a bit jealous, but after the recovery, everything backed to normal. Don't know if they liked each other much, but for sure they tolerated each other, played together, etc. Problems started occurring about two months ago, the little one started to grow fast, getting stronger and started  taking advantage of it, started dominating female cat. She had always been calm and peaceful, thou tried to fight him back (always liked fights, but not serious ones, for fun). The real problem started like 3 or 4 weeks ago. I think male cat totally dominated female, she became kind of absent, not really interested in plays anymore. She sleeps most of the time, or sits in boxes. She eats and drinks normally, likes going outside for walks (on a leash, both cats are domestic ones), that's why I doubt it has something to do with physical health. Basic exams didn't show any problems, is on meds from yesterday (strengthening  her immune system, just in case). Even if I manage to get her to play, as soon as the younger one appears, she stops playing, is looking at him. When male attacks her (don't know anymore if he wants to play or "hurt" her), she runs. Not long ago, there were times even she initiated plays with him. Wanted for her to have a play friend and seems just brought her an enemy she is afraid of and can't feel safe at home (my assumptions) Feel a bit helpless, don't know what to do. Hurts to see her in such condition. Any help would be appreciated.

She has to have a place to get away, for my Chrissy it was on top of the fridge, I even put her a bed up there. There will always be a 'dominate' cat in the house, the 'lesser' cat needs a place to get away. Do not 'let' him dominate her when you are around, firmly say 'no' and remove him to another room if you have to. All I have to do now is yell no and my bully will leave. I know that helpless feeling, I hate to see anyone bullied. You might try some 'calming treats' found on Amazon, they may help. The male is too young to know limits yet, he's at the height of his playfulness and roughhousing stage. I hate to mention it but the best thing you could do is get him a playmate his own age and with the same temperament  Otherwise I think he'll calm down when he's older and gets all the 'kitten' out of him. Good luck, and keep us posted!

Young cats, especially males, like to jump in the backs of other cats, at least mine did, which my older female did NOT appreciate, and caused her to withdraw, just like you are describing.  However, my female was approx. 9 years old at the time versus 2.  Don't know if that makes any difference or not. 

I entirely agree that you need to make sure you have high places that they both can go to, and since your girl likes boxes, have some hidey holes for her.  Will she play with you if you put the male elsewhere?  Or when he is napping?  I would make sure they each get plenty of love and affection, and when he goes after her, get his attention with a feather wand or something and keep him busy away from her.  He probably won't learn by negative feedback...cats just aren't wired that way in my experience .  But praising him when he DOESN'T go after her is a good thing.  If you truly think he's attacking her and doesn't just want to play, then you may need to re-introduce them as if they were total strangers.

I had /have the same. We have an old girl and got a boy kitty..he is very nasty to her and knows its wrong. Nothing has ever worked but the squirty bottle to break it up and as mentioned above..praising! If he is good I will put him on his lead and take him out in the dark for a lap round the house at night (weird I know).
Fast forward 2 extra girls (which makes 3 girls and 1 boy) and Lola, the youngest kitty, treats the old girl the same way and now Lola and Jinx also rumble for top cat and they both pick on the other quiet girl from time to time. Unlike Jinx, Lola is either a little thick or very stubborn and will not take no for an answer!

Now I praise Rox if she smacks them back and stands up for herself and she gets a treat. She defends herself every now and then but it does not deter the bully duo

Let me know if you find something that works

Any suggestions on how to reintroduce them? As I am afraid it is getting worse :/ Don't know if it was just a coincidence, after one confrontation, I took the female on my arms (about a minute after the situation) trying to stroke her. And for the very first time in two years, she attacked me don't know, maybe she was still aroused by the situation, but she constantly runs from the younger one and is not very willing to play. Ok, there are situations, when they can both sit near the window, or even sleep on the same couch. There is no problem about feeding, though, when they get meet, have to look after the little fella, as he wold also take not his portion (he doesn't attack, just approaches and female leaves). I'd say, she looks kind of depressed, not safe at home. However, when I take her for a walk outside, she changes, is more vivid (never take them on the same time). When I try to play with her with mouse toys, younger one always comes and she stops, but once, he was very occupied with something in a different room (though, he didn't make any noise) and after few minutes of encouragement, she started playing, like before everything happened...

I wouldn't be too upset about her attacking you.  It sounds like redirected aggression and she was likely just worked up from the encounter.  I currently have a similar problem in my house and I find that I've had to reintroduce them from scratch.  Something I was going to try which might be beneficial to you as well, would be to just put the male kitty away for a little while and play with your girl in a relaxed environment to try and build some confidence.