semi-feral changing- for the worse

I took home a semi-feral cat named Ping from the local shelter, and got her some major needed vet care.  I mentioned her here earlier, as an unresponsive cat.  Things were going pretty well for a while- very slowly, but mostly forward.  She liked to be stroked, especially on her head.  She would give me an occasional informational nip, which I took as pure information, and an occasional actual bite- but I figured that meant she felt she could trust me.  She would purr and curl her toes when I stroked her.

Ping is living in my only bathroom, in a very small house with 4 other (indoor-outdoor) cats.  I have 3 more indoor-outdoor cats in an outbuilding, inside lots of cat fencing.  It's not easy giving her this space, or the time I have been devoting, trying to get her healed and happy.  I've cut back on time with my own cats to do this.  I've had to move litter boxes into the bedroom and now have litter scattered in lots of new places.  And my tiny bathroom is packed full of cat furniture.

Ping has a homemade cat tree with an enclosed box about 12" by 16" by 16", a couple of feet off the floor.  She has been spending days in the box on the tree, and has remained fully nocturnal.  The box is carpeted, and has a fleece blanket and cat heating mat.  I've seen her out in the room at night a few times.

Ping got to the point where she would rest her head on my hand, and lick my fingers.  Then she started telling me she didn't want me stroking her body, just her head.  One night a few days ago she was very relaxed in front of me, let me get some good pics, and even played with a wand toy for a bit.  

It's been all downhill since then.  The next couple of days she didn't want much touch at all.  The third day after that she bit me hard, while I was stroking her head with one finger and she was curling her toes and purring.  If she had better teeth she would have sent me to the hospital.  As it was, my finger hurt for an hour afterwards.

I admit it- I yelled.  I then apologized (I know I'm the huge mammal who has full control of her fate and can be terrifying).  But I quit trusting her.  She quit wanting me to touch her at all.  Today she moved from the cat tree back behind the toilet, when I was in the room.

She's been here a month and a half, and I can't help but see this as a rejection of me.  If it had happened the first week or two I would believe it could be worked out.  Now I'm wondering where on earth she could go.  Back to the shelter?  If she bites and refuses social contact, they'll put her down.  She can't go back where she came from, as it's in a different state and I have no clue where it is beyond that.  Maybe I can see if somebody else will try fostering her- maybe she just hates me, and not all humans.  

I don't wish her ill, but geez!  I can't keep her in my bathroom any longer, with all this ill will and worrying about getting bitten.  Any suggestions?  I'd appreciate any advice at all!  Thanks.

OK, take a step back. You have no idea what got her riled up but I would bet money it wasn't you. She may have caught a whiff of the other cats on your clothes. She may just not have been feeling like being touched, whatever the reason, it was nothing personal, I can guarantee that.

If you do not have a room for her to be alone, what are your plans? Being in the bathroom is not a horrible existence, especially if the alternative is being outside. I know it is a pain for you, though.

Think about your choices and leave her alone for a bit. She may come around, she may not. But please do not take this personally. It will only cloud your thinking.

Thanks, Ondine- I needed an outside view!  Ping is okay in the bathroom for now, or she could conceivably live in the crawl space, inside the cat fence, or some other arrangement.  What she doesn't need is for her only defender to get upset with her.

Since she is a semi feral cat, she will need extra time and patience.  Do you know anything about her background such as where she came from, how long she is?  I assume she is spayed?  When bringing a semi feral/feral cat into the house, she will need time to adjust first to her indoor setting and the people in the house.  This may take longer than bringing in a domestic cat.  Have you tried any feliway or Composure calming treats for her?  I would stop trying to pet her for now.  Just let her know you will take care of her.  Visit her often for short periods and allow her to take the lead.  Offer her some yummy treats when you come to visit and talk softly to her.  She will let you know when you wants to be pet.  Have you tried playing with her? 

Also make sure to take a look at the cat to cat introductions article once you plan to introduce her to your other cats.  http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

Thank you for helping and rescuing her.

Thanks for your comments, Shadows.  What concerns me is that she was doing well (for a semi-feral) and then seemed to slip backwards.  Your advice to leave her alone and be there for her is good.  Who can know why she changed?  I'm just hoping that another huge dose of patience will bring her back to where she was.  In the meantime, last night she got back in her safe box (out from behind the toilet) and purred the whole time I was in front of the door to her box.  Maybe she wasn't feeling good for a while?  Or maybe hearing the other cats (one will on rare occasions hiss at the bathroom door) scared her and made her feel unsafe?

Ondine has convinced me not to take it personally, which is the key point now, I think.

Yes, she is spayed, and Feliway is a great idea.  Thanks for helping!

all8now said:

 
Thanks for your comments, Shadows.  What concerns me is that she was doing well (for a semi-feral) and then seemed to slip backwards.  Your advice to leave her alone and be there for her is good.  Who can know why she changed?  I'm just hoping that another huge dose of patience will bring her back to where she was.  In the meantime, last night she got back in her safe box (out from behind the toilet) and purred the whole time I was in front of the door to her box.  Maybe she wasn't feeling good for a while?  Or maybe hearing the other cats (one will on rare occasions hiss at the bathroom door) scared her and made her feel unsafe?

Ondine has convinced me not to take it personally, which is the key point now, I think.

Yes, she is spayed, and Feliway is a great idea.  Thanks for helping!

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I always say with ferals, it is one step forward and 2 steps back!  You never know what sets them off.  I would guess that the hissing on the other side of the door may bother or agitate her.  Have you done any scent swapping with the cats?

When I first starting petting one of my ferals, I used a wand toy with a small feather at the end.  It looks like this   I would play with the cat and then very gently rub the feather over his back.  He really liked it.  I would gradually move it to rub under his chin and on top of his head.  As he became more comfortable, I would pull the wand/feather towards my body and move my hand in its place.  He enjoyed the touch so much, that my hand was then ok.  The key is to take it so very very slow.  The feral/stray I brought into my house last May is still adjusting to life inside.  It's a big change for them and one that requires lots of time and patience.  Rushing or pushing the cat when she is not ready will result in set backs.  I would be sure to visit her often but for short periods.  You can even just sit quietly and talk to her or sit and read allowed from a book/magazine.  If there is room in the bathroom, you would want to sit on the floor so you are not looming over her.  Having her inside with you for a month and a half may seem like a long time to you, but it may take up to a year or more for her to adjust.  Make sure you read up on the cat to cat introductions.  You do not want to create more problems when you meets your other cats. 

Thank you for caring so much for her.  Just remember patience patience patience.

Feral and semi-feral cats are very moody--much more so than fully domesticated cats. My outdoor feral is sometimes very laid back and lets me sit right beside him and makes eye contact that communicates trust and appreciation. At other times he is skittish and anxious and backs away from me and has a cold look in his eye. I have no idea whether he is upset over conflict with another animal somewhere, or a human who may have shooed him away, or if he has a tummy ache. I've been caring for him for two and a half years, but he is still very moody! My indoor feral, Mia, went through a period of about 5 days last month where she suddenly became terrified of me and ran away every time I came into the room. I have no idea what that was about. I think that when a friend came over and I showed her Mia, Mia felt cornered by us and may have had a flashback to something that happened to her in the past (she was shot by someone, after all) --who knows. After a week, she went back to nomal. I do know this--that these cats always come around again. One thing Mia really enjoys, no matter what her mood is, is playing with her wand toy together. You can get a cheap one at Shop N Save. Cats really bond over playing, so maybe you should engage her in this way for a while until she comes around again.       

Hi All8now

I totally empathize about the ups and downs and the disappointment when a "saved" cat does not respond to you nicely.  We've had the same deal with Ellie, who we rescued from abusive neighbors over the winter.  It took months for her to stop hissing at me and allow more than minimal pets, and yes she bit me more than once.   Feliway helped her moods a bit, but the main thing has been time.  She is still not a 'cuddly' girl, but the last month or so she has increasingly permitted pets and will come to me on her own terms and even rub against my leg, but it's still a case of "enough is enough" when it comes to handling her.  As to picking her up, forget it - the last time I tried (to get her to a vet appointment) I had to use leather gloves and scruff her to get her in the carrier.

I think the thing to bear in mind, frustrating though it is, is that we have no idea what rescued cats have suffered to make them so distrustful of humans, especially if they are abandoned cats rather than true ferals. In Ellie's case her bad reactions were often when she could not see my hand - she was ok with strokes to her face and neck but any further back she freaked out, which makes me think she was actively abused as well as neglected. It's taken ages for me to be able to stroke her back. Also part of the increased aggression may be that Ping is feeling safer and more healthy and able to express her need for space.  When I first rescued Ellie she was so sick that I could pick her up and handle her, because she was too weak and lethargic to react.  So if that's the case, well it sounds weird but being aggressive is kind of a good sign.

I know patience is hard and it's very frustrating, but hopefully Ping will come around in the end. 

Thanks, Shadows!  Ping has come back around but I'm much more attuned to what and when she gets grumpy now.  I have a tiny, crowded house and can't keep her truly isolated- but in some ways I think that's good.  She gets a visit regularly from me, not necessarily interacting but being present, since she's in the only bathroom.  That also means I see her at odd hours, including sometimes during the night.

One cat passes through her room, using the clothes passage into the laundry room.  I see now she doesn't like that much and I should give her space when it happens- but it would be way too hard to keep it from happening, so it's just one cost of being here.

Thanks to everyone for helping me understand this little semi-feral girl better all the time!  She likes stroking when she's in the mood, but play not so much.  I'll work with my fingers more now, and leave the feather wand for when she says she likes it.

Thank you, Aimee!  Ping has come back around, and I just need to understand that she has moods/responses to triggers that have little or nothing to do with me.  I really appreciate your support.

I'm surprised that folks here keep talking about play, as I don;t really expect her to be interested and she isn;t.  i have a totally tame cat who hunts a lot, and he couldn't be less interested in toys.  Maybe Ping will tell me differently the next time I wiggle the feather wand in her direction.  But thanks so much for pointing out that it's all about Ping- and not me!

Thanks, Rose.  I agree that it's probably a good sign that Ping is claiming her space, and being more decisive about things- even when it takes a difficult turn for me.  She has had a whole lot to recover from, part with health stuff my vet cleared up, and part with probable abuse and rightful distrust of humans.  I was blessed with slow but steady progress for a while and forgot that that's not how life works!

It's a real gift to have Ping put her head in my hand again at times.  We'll work something out.

And I'm sure I'll be asking for more help from you experienced lion tamers in the future!  Thanks again to everyone for helping, and for caring.