I really need help Guys!!

Hey guys so I’m really in need of some good advice right now. My situation is a bit complicated so please bear with me.

So a little over two years ago I rescued my cat Commadore as a kitten off the streets while living in Philadelphia. Now he was not a stray (he was wearing a collar when I took him in) however, I almost 100% sure his previous owners abused him. He was severely malnourished, bruised all over, and was very nervous about being handled by anyone. Now thankfully after time and patients he became a healthy loving cat. However, I believe because of this abuse as a kitten he still does not like to be overly handled in anyway. So if you pet him for too long, touch him in the wrong place, or sit down next to him while he is sleeping he will let you know he is not ok with it by scratching.  Sometimes it can be kind of bad, he will latch on and kick with his hind legs.

Now I’ve had him for a long time so this is not an issue with me anymore really, I understand his body language, and keep his active by playing with him regularly. It this only happens very very rarely. Normally he loves to play, be pet on the head, and act like a fairly normal cat.

Now here comes the first problem. I moved to New York City about a year ago and have had to change location a couple of times. Now not only do I feel bad about dragging this poor cat from one place to the next, but I feel bad for my new roommates (often from craigslist). It’s one thing for me, his owner who understands him and is willing to be patient and put in the time to understand him, it’s a whole other story why asking complete stranger to do the same. So a couple of months ago I decided to would find a new home for him. A home with a loving a caring owner that is willing to put in the same time and effort that I have.

Now like many of you here on this forum understand finding a home for an adult cat can be difficult, especially so when the cat requires a lot more time and attention.  But I was optimistic and believed I could find a good home for it. It would just take a bit more time.

Now he comes my real problem. A couple months ago while a friend was watching Commadore he got outside and while out got in bad a fight with some other cat. Now I brought him to the vet immediately, and all of his injuries healed up very nicely. Sadly though, the blood work showed that he had contracted Feline AIDs from the other cat during the fight.

If you can imagine this complicates my situation beyond imaginable. Especially since moving into my new apartment my new roommates are not patient at all and pressuring me to do something about him. I’ve already put claw covers on him just in case he tries to scratch but they are still being difficult and I have another couple months to go on this lease, and nowhere else for him to go, and I’ll probably be moving again after that. I already know a shelter won’t take him with a preexisting condition like this because he cannot be around other cats, and I cannot imagine anyone wanting to adopt him now. The slight scratching issue is something that could have been managed but a sick cat is a whole other story. Now I understand this disease is pretty much a death sentence for cats, but they can still live for a couple years after contracting the virus and I want to be able to give this cat I love as many happy healthy years as possible.

I’m really at a loss here guys, Commadore is a great cat, and I really love him and care for him. And it is scaring me to think that putting him down might be my only option. And that is something I can’t even imagine doing unless he was really ill and no longer living a happy life. I need some advice guys. please help

I think you need to choose your roommates better, interview them like you were adopting them.  Obviously if you are the one who has the primary lease you can do that, but if you are moving in with others, you need to look for real cat people to live with.  They will have the same issues as you, needing their cats to be allowed to be cats, having folks around who do not freak out when they step in a pile of cat barf, or who think it's funny when one of the cats snags a chicken breast from their plate and takes off into the other room with it, growling like a lion.  Those people are out there, but probably not on Craig's list.  Find them.  They will be better companions for you in the long run than these fussy materialistic humorless people you are living with.  Try checking out all the cat groups in your area on Facebook and make connections.  Also, feline aids virus is by no means a death sentence, and just because your cat is showing an exposure to the FIV virus, it does not mean he has active FIV.  You can find out a lot about FIV in the health forums on this site.  Just do a search for FIV and become well educated on it.  Let us know how you are doing!

Thanks for the reply! i really appreciate it.  I do understand the roommate issue. i definitely need to pick better next time, but i was in a rush and unfortunately had no other options. However, again even if i can manage this lease until it runs out, which i might be able to.  I'm going to be moving multiple times in the foreseeable future because of my job and current situation and I still would love to find a home for him that is more stable. do you think I would be able to find someone to adopt him with a preexisting condition like this? if so where do you think i could look?

and ill absolutely read more about Feline AID, i appreciate what you said it really puts my mind at ease.

Can you keep him in your bedroom when you are not home so that he won't bother anyone?  You could be sure he has a cat perch or cat tree to look out a window or something to entertain him. 

I would also educate your roommates on ignoring your cat or not petting him at all.  I have an indoor only cat that just really doesn't like to be pet.  He will allow a few strokes and then if you are not careful he will swat or bite.  He even will grab your arm and kick just like your cat.  He often is curious when people come over, but we just ask them to ignore him and not pet him. 

Your roommates understand that FIV is not contagious to humans, right? 

I hope you are able to keep him and find a way to make it work.  Finding a home for a shy cat with abuse issues would be very hard.

Thanks for the reply. its nice to know there are other owners with cats like Commadore. this has actually really calmed me down a bit.

I was able to talk to my roommates, set some ground rules, and i think it will be ok for now at least.  im gonna stay hopeful and optimistic. 

A product that has really helped my cats is Composure feline treats or Composure liquid max.  It's a calming treat.  It might help if you need to keep the cat in your room and he becomes nervous or anxious.  You can purchase the treats at some pet stores and also online especially Amazon.  Most cats likes the treats, but it sometimes takes 2-3 of the treats to calm the cat.  Also a feliway diffuser might help him too.  These can also be used to help him adjust when you move to new places too.

I hope your roommates will be cooperative and help you out.

great! i'll look into both of those. i could see something like that really helping. now I've used Soft Paws once in the past but i  felt a bit iffy about them, i mean my cat didnt seem to bothered with them but I dont know really know if they are bad for his nails or something. I mean i always keep this nail nice and trimmed, but i just feel putting them on again might help put my roommate a bit more at ease. do you have any opinion on products like that? 

if not, that ok,  i really appreciate the help so far

OK, if I understand correctly you will be out of this lease in several months?

If that is correct, I would buy a large Pet Porter or carrier and keep Commodore in it with his food and water while you are out. I know this is not ideal, but the other options are much worse. Either you will have a run in with a room mate who gets scratched and then decides to hit or kick your cat, or if you take him to a shelter he WILL be put down.

Please don't believe any shelter will keep him and adopt him out. Even "no kill" shelters will dispose of cats they ultimately deem un-adoptable. Get a carrier, lock him up, and look for better room mates when your lease is up.

I actually think you are wrong- at least 2 shelters in my area would take him even with the FIV and try to adopt him out.  The shelter I foster for does this all the time.  It's not a death sentence and actually is pretty much a non-deal as long as you understand how to keep him healthy.  The real reason a shelter wouldn't bother with him is the behavioral issues, unfortunately. As others have said, please actually read up on FIV.  I really don't think you understand what a minor issue it is.

But yes, regarding the more 'important' issue.  Bluntly, I think you need to really commit to keeping your cat, accept that yes, you are going to have to move in the coming months (maybe multiple times) but that this is better for him than being on the streets or put down. He is not going to find a  better home than with you.

I hear you about the issues you are having, and do believe you want what is best for Commadore. What is best for him is to stay with you.

If what you have to do is keep him in your room all the time, then that is what you have to do.  Pick your next roommates more carefully.  You say you have a few months on this lease.  Use those months to find a living situation that will  actually work for you. Consider trying to find a cheap studio (I know hard in NYC but not impossible given time to look and a willingness to expand your search area).

I do not think you are a going to be able to find him a home that is better than the one he has with you.

You know the shelters near you better than I do, but everywhere I have lived the shelters view FIV+ kitties and aggression as not suitable for adoption. In Arizona they put down some of these cats the minute they arrive. In some cases the volunteers know more about FIV than the shelter managers. Sad, but true.

Jbuff1 said:

 
great! i'll look into both of those. i could see something like that really helping. now I've used Soft Paws once in the past but i  felt a bit iffy about them, i mean my cat didnt seem to bothered with them but I dont know really know if they are bad for his nails or something. I mean i always keep this nail nice and trimmed, but i just feel putting them on again might help put my roommate a bit more at ease. do you have any opinion on products like that? 

if not, that ok,  i really appreciate the help so far

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I have never used Soft Paws so I cannot be of help with them.  I just trim my cats nails every few weeks.  Also be sure to have appropriate places for him to scratch such as a scratching post, mat or sissel wrapped posts on a cat condo.

Jane11 said:

 
You know the shelters near you better than I do, but everywhere I have lived the shelters view FIV+ kitties and aggression as not suitable for adoption. In Arizona they put down some of these cats the minute they arrive. In some cases the volunteers know more about FIV than the shelter managers. Sad, but true.

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In D.C. both the Washington Animal Rescue League and Washington Humane Society(at a minimum, they are the only 2 shelters here I have experience with) will try to adopt out FIV+ cats as long as they are well-socialized. They even have a 'generic blurb' they put on their websites with the FIV+ cat's descriptions that basically says 'I have FIV. Don't worry, it's not as scary as it sounds and is not contagious to humans, and in a loving home I will live many more years. However, because it can be passed on to other cats, it might be best if I can go to a home where I am the only cat.'  Here's a current example for the Washington Humane Society http://www.petango.com/webservices/....net/whsdc/assets/css/pettango.css&PopUp=true 

However, neither place would try to adopt out a cat with super aggressive scratching, for better or worse, and I think for the OP the scratching is going to be a way bigger issue in adopting the cat out.

I am sorry if it's not like that around you regarding the FIV.

Don't be sorry. I'm delighted to hear that things are more enlightened elsewhere. Maybe someday everywhere will be.