New to caring for a stray/feral and second-guessing myself and need some encouragement and support

Feralvr, I think you are right about Henryetta maybe wanting to play with Chaucer and not knowing how. She acts like she wants to, jumps out at  him, hesitates and then hisses if he approaches and goes to hide. I have mixed ideas about her behavior - she doesn't act "feral" and never really has, but then it's clear no one spayed her and she has to be at least 2 or 3 years-old. It makes me wonder what happened to the kittens - if they didn't make it or her "owners" got rid of them.  This neighborhood has several torties, including a small one that I feed sometimes (and no, I can't take on another cat).  I don't see two of them much anymore. I casually mentioned that they dined over here a lot to their owners I learned they had so they may have been keeping them inside. At least I hope that is the case, or else they know the food is no longer available for them.

With Miss H, I have been trying to socialize her to other cats because she will be going to a home that has a 6 year-old female with a calm personality. In fact, Miss H was picked because she was calmer than the other kittens. Of course my friends have a large home with an upstairs and doors that actually shut, unlike most of mine which are sliding doors cats can easily open.

Okay, so here I am whining again on my semi-blog.

I have broken the no contact between Henryetta and Chaucer until after Miss Honeychurch goes to her new home in mid-September.  How could I leave Henryetta and MIss H in the storage room all day when the heat index here was reaching 110 degrees Fahrenheit?  I don't bring them in all day but during the hottest part of the day for them to get a little break.  I have discovered that Henryetta is actually afraid of Chaucer. In the two or three days that I've had them in the house for a little while, she alternates between hiding under pieces of furniture and will look around to see if he is out there and if she doesn't see him will dart across, close to the floor, to go under another piece of furniture to hide.  When they do meet up, she hisses and growls at him, which I now take to be defensive and out of fear, because he shows no fear of her.  She can growl and hiss all she wants but he won't move and if he does, it's with his ears forward and not fluffed up. He will try to play with her like he does with MIss H. If her back is turned, he will "nip" her behind and that is something to behold when she turns hisses and backs up further or slinks away hiding elsewhere.  Chaucer is totally confused because he is trying to play and she is afraid of him  Contrast this to Miss H who jumps on his back and lets him flip her over on her back and chase her When he doesn't chase her, she goes and gets him. Today, the kitten was licking his face and ears.

Hopefully, Henryetta will trust him more. She leaves her kitten to him so you would think that she would see that he is not hurting the kitten and his cat-language gestures toward Henryetta don't indicate aggression. The only times he has puffed-up is when Henryetta growls, snarls and is aggressive to him and swats at him but since the last one of those when he jumped on her on a sofa, she's started slinking away before he sees her or darts away (close to the floor) if he sees her. I'm am hopeful they will not injure each other if they get into a tangle again.

Chaucer said:

Okay, so here I am whining again on my semi-blog. :lol3:

I'm am hopeful they will not injure each other if they get into a tangle again.

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:lol3: No whining noted !!!!!!! And, actually, a blog is exactly what most of these types of thread turn into. You are sharing the ups, downs, the successes, the not-so successes, and sharing your trials and tribulations throughout this whole process. Quite a little novel you have going. :high5:

Actually - I am going to bet on this. Once they are together in the house full-time, Chaucer will get a bit more bored over time with searching for Henryetta. Right now - she and Miss H. are coming and going from the storage room (which I think is just fine - you do what you think and know is best, no harm will be done) and this is all very, very exciting for Chaucer. The excitement will wear off like a child with a new toy :lol3: and in time, they will develop a more trusting and RELAXED relationship.

I was also thinking about Henryetta the other day and the way she is reacting to Chaucer. I wonder IF she is treating Chaucer as a kitten in a way. :dk: It is also possible that her crawling low to the ground is not actually all due to Chaucer. She is finding her way around and feeling protective of herself - yes - because of Chaucer's advances but also because she knows that the house is HIS territory and not quite hers full time. Soon, that will all change and she will become more and more confident which will mean the hissing/growling will dissipate little by little. :cross:

Feralvr said:

No whining noted !!!!!!! And, actually, a blog is exactly what most of these types of thread turn into. You are sharing the ups, downs, the successes, the not-so successes, and sharing your trials and tribulations throughout this whole process. Quite a little novel you have going.

Actually - I am going to bet on this. Once they are together in the house full-time, Chaucer will get a bit more bored over time with searching for Henryetta. Right now - she and Miss H. are coming and going from the storage room (which I think is just fine - you do what you think and know is best, no harm will be done) and this is all very, very exciting for Chaucer. The excitement will wear off like a child with a new toy

and in time, they will develop a more trusting and RELAXED relationship.

I was also thinking about Henryetta the other day and the way she is reacting to Chaucer. I wonder IF she is treating Chaucer as a kitten in a way.

It is also possible that her crawling low to the ground is not actually all due to Chaucer. She is finding her way around and feeling protective of herself - yes - because of Chaucer's advances but also because she knows that the house is HIS territory and not quite hers full time. Soon, that will all change and she will become more and more confident which will mean the hissing/growling will dissipate little by little.

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 Can you tell that I am a writer?

Henryetta crawls to her hiding spot in the storage room too when she sees him coming now.  I agree that he will most likely get the message, get bored with her and leave her alone at some point. He acts like a kitten in his exuberance and playfulness. He drives me nuts in the house now because he doesn't like to play with his stuffed kitten since he's experienced the real thing.  The kitten just loves him and he loves her.  I have seen a photo of one of the kittens in her new home. Cersei (formerly Emily)  is cuddled up to the adult female cat and sleeping. I think the boys are doing okay too. I've only seen a few pictures of them and they are eating.

Henryetta is still a vending machine for Miss Honeychurch at times. I would think she would tire of nursing that 4 lb. kitten! 

Chaucer said:

 Can you tell that I am a writer?

Henryetta crawls to her hiding spot in the storage room too when she sees him coming now.  I agree that he will most likely get the message, get bored with her and leave her alone at some point. He acts like a kitten in his exuberance and playfulness. He drives me nuts in the house now because he doesn't like to play with his stuffed kitten since he's experienced the real thing.  The kitten just loves him and he loves her.  I have seen a photo of one of the kittens in her new home. Cersei (formerly Emily)  is cuddled up to the adult female cat and sleeping. I think the boys are doing okay too. I've only seen a few pictures of them and they are eating.

Henryetta is still a vending machine for Miss Honeychurch at times. I would think she would tire of nursing that 4 lb. kitten! 

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Well - a book.... I see in your future. Would be a lovely story - captivating. I bet Henryetta does see Chaucer as a big, grown up, playful and annoying kitten who may be orphaned in her eyes but yet, she does not want to take that one on too.

AWWWW - glad you received a picture of Cersei. Must make your heart shine for all the good you have done for Henryetta AND her kittens. :high5:

:lol3: Miss Honeychurch is hanging on, literally, as long as she can to momma's apron strings. :lol3:

Miss Honeychurch went to her new home this morning. Henryetta moved permanently into the house. Chaucer is shut in my bedroom for the day until Henryetta can get used to things. She is going to be spending her nights in the guest bedroom once it is cat-friendly. Chaucer still has sleeping in my room privileges.  She hissed at him and growled through a crack in the door at him when I came out of the room. I do not get why she is so touchy with him other than she hasn't had a lot of friendly encounters with other cats.  While she won't sit in my lap, she does head butt anywhere she can, knees, legs, head, arms, feet anytime she is near me. It's endearing. So, we shall see what happens with her and Chaucer.

This morning before my friends took Miss H, I had put her in the guest bathroom so it would be easier to get the little fireball into her carrier. Chaucer tried to get her out of the room by rattling the sliding door. Miss H eventually got herself out of there later and had to be corralled.  She escaped Thursday out of the storage room and ran into the carport. I thought we would NEVER catch her running around under two cars. I finally tossed a rattle-ball into the back yard so she would run out, but it was Chaucer who helped catch her. I set him down on the concrete and she came to him so I grabbed both of them, handed over Chaucer to my friend and put the kitten back in the storage room.  OH MY!!!!!  I also found the kitten sitting on top of the storage room's door. She had managed to jump from a small table to the chest to the top of the door frame. Needless to say, my friends are a little concerned she will be a cat that jumps.  Their cat is very calm and they have not had a kitten in 20 years, at least.

Be still my pounding heart..... :lol3: Your story about Miss H escaping made me quite nervous! I can only imagine how YOU were feeling. I wish Miss H and her new family all my best and that they will realize that a kitten IS going to be a kitten. I think Miss H will breath new joy, laughter and happiness into their home. :cross: that their older cat will be accepting of this new youngster. Keep us posted if/when you get updates.

:cross: and that Henryetta's new beginning will go extremely well as I am sure it will. She may always be a little "touchy" and I would not fret over a few hisses/growls here and there. My rincess: Perla is this way and I still have a very, very, very happy kitty family. I want the same for you and yours. :rub:

Since Perla has that touchy behavior and you have five other cats that she deals with, surely Henryetta can handle just one!   I have trouble with two and can't imagine how you handle six!  You have a real gift.

Miss H has escaped before but it didn't take quite so long to catch her because there was only one car to go under. I kept telling my friend's husband to go inside. I think his deep, louder voice scared the kitten, plus it was the first day they arrived and she didn't know them at all. Having a carport, my yard is only fenced on three sides.   My friends are now afraid she will run out of their house.  I don't know what they are worried about. They have a completely privacy-fenced backyard and their garage is kept closed.

Henryetta has eaten with Chaucer since she has been in the house but it ends with her hissing a little later and walking off.  He still runs around after her and wanting to play like he did with Miss H but she will stay in the room with him now and they both came to "help" me while I was getting things out from under the guest room bed and were about a foot away from each other. As long as he doesn't try to play with her, she's okay. He's just a big kitten at heart so perhaps she is unsure of his actions and probably hasn't had a lot of friendly encounters with other cats. She doesn't seem to notice that Miss H is gone but the kitten was nearly 5 months old and capable of taking care of herself so perhaps she knows this.

It has become clear to me that Henryetta was abandoned. She is way, way too loving and trusting, and was that way about two months into my feeding her, to be a feral or even semi-feral.  I don't think the people she was with let her in the house much, if ever, because she was startled by a flushing toilet. It wasn't the "magic drinking fountain" to her. I hadn't let her in my bedroom/bathroom when she was in the house before so that was a new experience for her. She was also unsure of the dishwasher, but she loves being in the house and has made herself right at home, sleeping on the guestroom bed and rolling on the couch in the family room.  I am hopeful that she and Chaucer will become friends, or at least she will tolerate him and maybe play a little with him. She will play a lot when he isn't around.

There's been a breakthrough!  They played together this morning!   I am hopeful this will work out and they will become friends.

Chaucer said:

There's been a breakthrough!  They played together this morning!   I am hopeful this will work out and they will become friends.

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Sorry so long catching up. I have been away from TCS the past week BUT am SOOOOOO happy to hear the good news. I would expect things to continue on this positive note BUT do realize that there may be some minor setbacks and then huge strides forward. It truly is a challenge with six BUT sometimes when you have more than two, the focus on each other isn't so intense because there are too many other's to deal with. :lol3:

SO HERE'S :beerpals: to Chaucer and Henryetta's becoming close friends !!!! :cross: :bigthumb:

Am grieving the death of my dear little black & white female cat, Chookie. She disappeared a week before I found her dead back home underneath the porch. Feel terrible I didn't check under there Wed., The., Fri. nights and was away Sat/Sun Noticed a smell Sun. PM and there she was, head on her paws, dead. Oh I cried and cried and can't stop blaming myself for not being there for her. My neighbors helped me bury her in my garden. I miss her terribly and think my other 2 cats do too!

Oh so very sorry Sweetpaws. Very painful loss. You and your sweet kitty are in my thoughts and prayers. Sorry to say this but think you may have posted in the wrong spot. More replies if you start a new thread. But my heart goes out to you dear one. You are a loving and caring kitty parent and know that she loved you very much.

SweetPaws said:

Am grieving the death of my dear little black & white female cat, Chookie. She disappeared a week before I found her dead back home underneath the porch. Feel terrible I didn't check under there Wed., The., Fri. nights and was away Sat/Sun

Noticed a smell Sun. PM and there she was, head on her paws, dead. Oh I cried and cried and can't stop blaming myself for not being there for her. My neighbors helped me bury her in my garden. I miss her terribly and think my other 2 cats do too!

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I'm so sorry, SweetPaws.  Losing a pet is losing a member of your family and I'm sure your other cats are noticing her absence.  I'm also sorry you had to find her the way you did but am glad your neighbors were there for you.  Please don't blame yourself.  It may very well be that she went under the porch because she knew she was dying. Cats sometimes go away to a more private, secure-to-them place when they know this. My previous indoor cat kept going into my closet.

Feralvr said:

Sorry so long catching up. I have been away from TCS the past week BUT am SOOOOOO

happy to hear the good news. I would expect things to continue on this positive note BUT do realize that there may be some minor setbacks and then huge strides forward. It truly is a challenge with six BUT sometimes when you have more than two, the focus on each other isn't so intense because there are too many other's to deal with.

SO HERE'S

to Chaucer and Henryetta's becoming close friends !!!!

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Just an update

You were right Feralvr !  Henryetta has realized that this is her forever home and she has settled down so much. She doesn't hiss at Chaucer much now and will even swat his behind sometimes, stand at doors with him looking out, etc.   They both slept on the sofa with me while I was lying on it watching television.  Chaucer was in my lap and Henryetta by my feet.  She would reach out and touch him with her paw and would roll around a little exposing her belly.  She's been rolling in front of him some and he does the same. She was sleeping on the guest bed and he was sleeping on a guest bed pillow too. The guest room is currently Henryetta's place to spend the night and when I'm not home until I can make sure things are okay.  She now scampers around the house and Chaucer with his very long legs struts and prances through the house. They chase each other a little.  I am so relieved.

I don't know how you do it with six cats.  You have a very special touch and are an extremely caring person.  I hope that I will be able to help people on here sometimes the way you stuck by my through this. Thank you!  

Everyone who has helped me:  You have all been so kind and I have appreciated all of your advice, suggestions, time and efforts. Thank you. 

I will put up a good photo of the pair when I get just the right photo.

Chaucer said:

I don't know how you do it with six cats.  You have a very special touch and are an extremely caring person.  I hope that I will be able to help people on here sometimes the way you stuck by my through this. Thank you! :high5:  


I will put up a good photo of the pair when I get just the right photo.

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Sometimes I don't know how I do it with six either. :lol3: This has been a wonderful "ride" and journey for me too, helping to see things through and bouncing ideas off of each other. I love cat's and the people who love them and it means so much to me to help/support in anyway I can. I am just SOOOOOOOO happy :happy3: that the story is having such a happy ending............ or really, I should say, BEGINNING. :heart3: Good job, good work, and I surely hope that you feel so good inside for all you have done for Henryetta and her kittens. Sheesh - what a journey you undertook and now you absolutely may be able to help another who is embarking on the same dilemma.

Can't wait to see that picture of the new happy kitty companions. ix: :bigthumb: Take good care !!!!!!!

I took this picture this morning of Henryetta and Chaucer looking out. The door was pushed back and they were enjoying the cool air through the screen.  What I found touching was that they are both looking out the door in the same spot where just last fall Chaucer used to look out at her while she was looking in.

 

Thank you for sticking with me through this, Lauren.  And thanks to everyone who offered advice and support and to those who suffered through reading all this.

There you go, my short story award acceptance speech!

Anyway, they are getting along better.  They sniff noses and other areas in greeting. She will rub against him sometimes but if he sniff her neck, she will hiss. They will eat together, play together and will occasionally sleep on the bed 1-2 ft apart. He will chase her around and she will go under something and hiss, growl, swat and screech at him. When he leaves, she will come out and find him, swatting him on the behind sometimes. It's like they are dating!

Chaucer said:

 
Thank you for sticking with me through this, Lauren.  And thanks to everyone who offered advice and support and to those who suffered through reading all this.

There you go, my short story award acceptance speech!

Anyway, they are getting along better.  They sniff noses and other areas in greeting. She will rub against him sometimes but if he sniff her neck, she will hiss. They will eat together, play together and will occasionally sleep on the bed 1-2 ft apart. He will chase her around and she will go under something and hiss, growl, swat and screech at him. When he leaves, she will come out and find him, swatting him on the behind sometimes. It's like they are dating!

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    I love the way we hear people's stories, drop in and offer help/support and get to hear the happy endings... the wonderful world of TCS..

Your description of how they are now cracked me up and reminded me so much of my two.  They're still a little like that - it's just the way the relationship works.  I'm thinking with your two (and definitely mine),  it's now at the stage where they'd miss each other if they weren't there, despite all the carry-on.

Thank you, Mani. 

I've now started feeding another neighborhood cat who is most likely a real feral as I rarely see her out and will go for weeks without seeing her at all so feeding her is sporadic and based on when I see her in the area.  I've named her Delphine for some reason. She may be male but since she is another Tortie, I doubt it.  She's been around since shortly after I started feeding Henryetta, but Henryetta ran her off back then. Delphine is a small cat but I don't know if she is skinny or just built like Chaucer - lean and muscular. She seems rather jaunty in her step and I remember her once running up to my back door to look in earlier this year.