New to caring for a stray/feral and second-guessing myself and need some encouragement and support

Today in the storage room:

Chaucer with the last remaining kitten.

Why in the storage room is Henryetta only accepting of Chaucer? She was eating with her back to them when this picture was taken.

It will only be a short adjustment once Henryetta learns that all the kittens have gone on to their new lives. Don't worry - this will be the easy part in all of what you have done thus far. :cross: It will be expected after she has been raising her kittens in the storage room to have some confusion the first day or two in the house. I am certain that you will be able to manage it. Bring in some of her favorite things from the storage room into the house. This will only be temporary for a day or two while she is settling into her new home. She has already been IN the house too, so just do what you do best and love on her inside the house with lots of treats too. Who knows, after a few days she may never want to leave the house.

Chaucer said:

Why in the storage room is Henryetta only accepting of Chaucer? She was eating with her back to them when this picture was taken.

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AWWW how darling is that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too sweet. :rub: Chaucer - what a great, great cat. I adore his personality and his desire for love and friendship.

Because, Henryetta is comfortable in the storage room and THAT is HER territory and she is confident and control in there. In the house, she is unsure and insecure at the moment. Remember how she was when she was first in the storage room???? She tried to bolt, etc. Well, this will be expected in the house and just do the same thing as you did with the storage room by keeping her inside and not allowing her to bolt out. Make your home, her home and I honestly think Chaucer will help with the transition. I don't think it is Chaucer that she is unaccepting of inside the house, it is the fact that the house is not her safety YET and she is feeling insecure. Plus, there is still a kitten out in the storage room, still. Don't worry. She will learn to love her new "territory". :nod:

He is pretty nice. Today when I had Henryetta and the kitten in the house for a while, he dropped a toy mouse by the crack in the door. Henryetta didn't touch it. Typical female! Maybe she was waiting for the real thing.

But......later today .there was a big storm where I moved recently and that seemed to hurry the progress a little because I was worried about them in the storage room and brought Henryetta and the kitten inside again until it passed.  Look what happened during that time. They were okay for a little while.

Chaucer said:

But......later today .there was a big storm where I moved recently and that seemed to hurry the progress a little because I was worried about them in the storage room and brought Henryetta and the kitten inside again until it passed.  Look what happened during that time. They were okay for a little while.

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I danced in your other thread but this is even BETTER to see a picture !!!!!!!!!! :high5: I LOVE THIS and am really, really happy. I knew it would happen, btw. :lol3: You have the touch, you know.

I am so happy for Chaucer in that he will have a lovely house companion now and I think he will really enjoy having a constant friend. He really is a very, very sweet boy. :rub:

Thank you!  Today I brought them in for a little while and let the kitten run around in the den with Chaucer and Henryetta there. The kitten would run up to Chaucer and at one point jumped at him and he jumped up in the air and over her to get out of her way. I think when the kitten goes to her new home next month that it will be easier for Chaucer and Henryetta to get to know each other. Chaucer wants to play. Henryetta walked down the hall and he ran in front of her from another room and was doing the leaping sideways bounce but was not fluffed up.

Chaucer said:

Thank you!  Today I brought them in for a little while and let the kitten run around in the den with Chaucer and Henryetta there. The kitten would run up to Chaucer and at one point jumped at him and he jumped up in the air and over her to get out of her way. I think when the kitten goes to her new home next month that it will be easier for Chaucer and Henryetta to get to know each other. Chaucer wants to play. Henryetta walked down the hall and he ran in front of her from another room and was doing the leaping sideways bounce but was not fluffed up.

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:lol3: LOVE THIS !!!!!!!!!! Everything is going SO well. I bet Chaucer is enjoying having the entertainment of the kitten too.

Chaucer and Henryetta kind of got into it a little. She was growling, swatting at him and hissing and he suddenly "puffed up," which he usually doesn't do. When he'd calmed down, I took him to another room. 

I swear that Chaucer has a good deal of Siamese in him. His body type, his personality, his head shape, his love of jumping up on things and even his meow, but the past day or so, his meow has been very raspy. He hasn't been straining his voice and he doesn't have symptoms of a cold either.  The kitten (Miss Honeychurch) was raspy the other day but I took it to be something from after her spaying. It didn't last long. She is okay now. Henryetta hasn't been raspy either. I've read a little online and am a little worried since he doesn't have any other symptoms but the raspy meow.

Just seeing this today!! Oh dear, it sounds like Chaucer may not be feeling so great hence the puffing up at Henryetta. And, I have to laugh at the name of the kitten.....Miss Honeychurch :lol3: LOVE IT!!!

Anyway - you can consider trying some L-Lysine to mix in Chaucer's food. Most of us use this one: It is an immune booster, amino acid, and excellent for sniffles and any virus. Very, very safe. I am certain if you call your vet to ask, they will agree it is absolutely fine to give. Most cats readily eat it right up as there is basically no taste.

Dosage: 500 mg. twice daily (1/4 tsp.) mixed in wet food. You can go down to 250 mg. (1/8 tsp.) twice daily for maintenance or just stop all together once symptoms are all cleared for a few days.

Thank you, Lauren. As always, you advice is excellent.

Turns out Chaucer's raspy voice went away. I think he may have gotten into something since I noticed oily stuff on his head and he could have ingested a small amount trying to clean it off.

Chaucer looks forward to playing with Miss Honeychurch (and yes, my friends are going to keep the name!).  I have "literary cats" - Chaucer, Henry-etta James, and Miss Honeychurch (from "Room with a View") this time. The kitten's nickname is "Miss H." She knows both names.    Henryetta doesn't mind him at all when he is in the storage room. She doesn't really play with him but they do the "friendly" cat greeting of touching noses and sniffing each other's backsides, necks and sides when he goes in there. She also doesn't mind him playing with her kitten. She will watch sometimes but then will lie down and "nap" a little. Sometimes, she will play a little with the kitten while he is in there. So, she clearly trusts him. If she didn't, she wouldn't allow him near her kitten.

The issue now is that the kitten runs out the storage room door into the open carport.  She's gotten wise to the "string theory" of catching her so she runs out, pounces on the string and then runs back under the car.  Henryetta gets upset when the kitten runs out and will go out too, or if I've shut the screen door, sits there meowing and calling to the kitten. I wish my friends would come before the middle of September to get the kitten. It's getting more difficult to contain her when she goes into "wild kitten" mode. I am glad, though, that I don't have five kittens to try and contain in the storage room. They had all started to try to escape a week or two before they were adopted!

Things have taken a downward turn between Henryetta and Chaucer, unfortunately. They had a major set-to the other day when Henryetta, after attempting to play with Chaucer by jumping out at him and then hesitating to make it a game, got into a real fight. She had gone to her "corner" by the screen door and he came over to her. She began hissing and growling A LOT at him but he kept approaching her (well why wouldn't he? She had attempted to play a little) and they ended up the "cat embrace" of kicking and fighting but this was for real with her screeching and puffed up fur. The fight was so slamming that they managed to push the stiff screen door open a little. I  Miss H ran and hid from this instead of watching with interest.  I stopped it by clapping my hands several times and Chaucer walked off with his tail puffed up. I got him back in the house so both could settle. Chaucer was fine afterwards but Henryetta was rather sullen and distant.  T don't know what I'm going to do about this.  I really want to keep Henryetta but I don't want these fights, and it's Henryetta who is always on the defensive. Chaucer is very confused by her behavior. One minute she's touching noses and sniffing him, grooming herself in front of him and eating with him on a plate, as well as trusting him with her baby, and the next she is growling, hissing, swatting and fighting with him.

I do understand that she apparently was unaccustomed to much love, kindness and care from people and was not in a really friendly situation with other cats, particularly after she was left to fend for herself, if the people ever did take care of her. It's just been long eight months of work with her and I don't want to have to give her up, but I'm thinking that she may be best suited for an adults-only, only pet household. Anyway, here is a picture I took of her yesterday.  She is trying to reach out to me while I was taking the picture.  She loves and trusts me, but I'm not sure I trust her moods, so I'm rather upset about all of this.

I hope you will give it more time. They've only been in the house together a month or so, right? It can take several months for cats to adjust to each other and settle issues of territory and dominance, but they will settle ut. When they fight, you should shout at them and clap your hands. They will respect you as the "top cat". I've been thru what you're going thru and it does get better.

I'm sorry, I didn't make it clear. Henryetta and Miss Honeychurch are still living in the storage room and Chaucer lives in the house. I take Chaucer out there to visit. He spent an entire day out there on Tuesday without any incident but then yesterday she flipped, although it was clear she'd actually been watching him play and "thinking about" playing with him, judging by her hesitant but quick jump out at him and then she backed off quickly.  That's why when she went to another area where he followed her, thinking she wanted to play. He'd been playing with the kitten and she had joined in playing with the kitten when he wasn't playing with her.  I also have brought in Henryetta and the kitten to visit in the house the past month. She hides under furniture in the house and is hissy with Chaucer in the house, which I understand, but in the storage room, it hasn't been that much of a problem.

Thank you, Ms. Aimee for your encouragement. I really want this to work out. I actually don't trust Henryetta all that much in general because she was "wild" to some degree. In other words, I would not want her sleeping on the bed with me because she has a tendency to be "touchy" and also head-butts my head from behind if she gets behind me on the sofa. I don't want to be attacked even in play or affection.

Chaucer said:

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AWWWWW - Henryetta is really beautiful and looks to be very loving. :heart3: I love this picture and do you see a little face peering in the back right corner??!! A cute Miss H. What a doll. I do understand you being upset over that interaction between the two but try not to be fearful of Henryetta, and let me explain. Since, I have had years and years and years of experience with bringing and rehoming many feral and stray cats I can say with great confidence that you won't have to worry about her attacking you in any way. IF she were going to be human aggressive, you would already know. This will take more time for her to adjust and she sounds like a typical girl kitty to me. She does seem a bit moody but I really think it is because Miss H is still living with her in the storage room. Then you bring the two into the house, or just Henryetta, and than back to the storage room. Right now, till Miss H. gets picked up, I would just leave them in the storage room together. Once the kitten is gone, then bring Henryetta into the house permenantly and not allowing her access to the outdoors or the storage room. In a few days time, she will settle in, feel secure and safe. She already knows you and trusts you, she already knows the house and she already knows Chaucer, so the transition will be so much easier for her. Right now she is living in limbo and she sounds like a sensitive girl to me who needs stability. That will come once Miss H. is gone and her motherly instincts will go with her. Miss H is still quite little and needy and mom feels that energy and is going to reactive to outside stimuli because of it. :nod: HANG IN THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cross: And, more than anything, try to trust her because she really wants that and will know otherwise.

p.s. I don't think she would need to be an only cat - honestly speaking, there are very, very few cats out there that need to be the only one in a household. With all cats, there are going to be tiffs here and there and to us, humans, it appears to be so very violent but in cat language - it really is not at all. Getting into these confrontations is just part of their communication and usually neither wants them to happen often. They truly want to live in peace and harmony and once the two cats learn ALL about each other, then and only then, will that peace/harmony come. In the meantime, we must let them learn about each other. :rub:

Thank you so much again for your support, Feralvr. It's invaluable. Your insights are very helpful. She really doesn't seem to distrust Chaucer. If she did, she wouldn't have let him roughhouse with her kitten. She would have attacked him for touching her baby. I don't let Henryetta outside, but I have brought her in the house some when it's been so very hot in the storage room so I can see where her own confusion must be. She may be somewhat jealous of Chaucer, too.  They got into it again yesterday in the storage room where I'd been taking Chaucer to play with the kitten each morning, before I read your advice.  Chaucer jumped up on the sofa where Henryetta was lying on her, landing on her and so the "fighting" began.  I am becoming of the opinion that they are not hurting each other and are establishing boundaries. Later on, I took him out there, held him down to Henryetta and she hissed and literally slunk off close to the ground and went behind the piano. I read that cats do that when nervous or anxious so perhaps this is just a dominance/submissive establishing thing. I hope so. I don't want them to physically hurt each other.

I'm not sure why I am a little distrustful of Henryetta except that her reactions are kind of iffy and I don't want to get bitten.  I have told myself that she is no different from my previous cat that I got from a shelter - one I highly recommend in the Dallas area and called Operation Kindness, a no-kill, clean, caring place. I adopted Sophie, a 3.5 year-old Himalayan or Himi/Ragoll mix, who was simply "found with her kittens" from them and other friends have adopted cats from there.  I figured that she had not been a stray or feral given what type of cat she was and that she will she was very friendly from the beginning. With Henryetta, I saw some of her life and she seems a little moody so that is what worries me, although she has never been aggressive with me. I am hopeful that once she can be in the house things will work out.  She also likes to get on the sofa out there behind me and "comb" my hair with her claws or teeth and once put her teeth on the back of my head (not hurting or breaking the skin but not something I want to happen again). My guess is that this is a loving gesture because my Himi did that the first couple of nights I had her. I stopped that somehow with her as it hurt and woke me up in the night.

Miss H is 4 months old now and will be 5 months when her new family picks her up. Chaucer LOVES to play with her and the feeling is mutual. He dances around at the back door and wants to go out to the storage room despite Henryetta's behavior. However, I will stop this to prevent any further stress for Henryetta and confusion for Chaucer and just let them work it all out when she moves into the house. I will have to contain her at night until they can get along, but maybe in the guest room instead of the laundry room for her. It's bigger with windows to look out.

I don't think you need to be afraid of her, either. Today is the one year anniversary of my taking in my feral Mia. She's come a long way, but she still swipes at me and scratches me sometimes if I pet her for too long, or when she's wound up from playing with me and the wand toy. She has sometimes nipped at me, too, but not hard enough to break the skin. Cats, even domestic ones, will swipe or nip as warnings to let their human know they don't like what their human is doing. These are not attacks, they are warnings. Cats will also do these things to each other, but seldom hurt each other. It's kind of like rambunctious little brothers horse playing with each other. Also, cats generally give you warning signs before they scratch or bite, so you know to back off before anything happens. Some will hiss or give a low growl, some will flatten their ears and their pupils will get large, some will swish their tails in an agitated way. If you see a cat giving you these signals, it's best to back off.

Chaucer said:

Thank you so much again for your support, Feralvr. It's invaluable. Your insights are very helpful. She really doesn't seem to distrust Chaucer. If she did, she wouldn't have let him roughhouse with her kitten. . I hope so. I don't want them to physically hurt each other.

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Thank you. AND you are now becoming the master of cat behavior !! Yes, unlikely she would allow Chaucer to play with MIss H. She may want that herself - Chaucer - but doesn't know how to go about it..... yet......

Chaucer said:

I'm not sure why I am a little distrustful of Henryetta except that her reactions are kind of iffy and I don't want to get bitten. 

She also likes to get on the sofa out there behind me and "comb" my hair with her claws or teeth and once put her teeth on the back of my head (not hurting or breaking the skin but not something I want to happen again). My guess is that this is a loving gesture because my Himi did that the first couple of nights I had her. I stopped that somehow with her as it hurt and woke me up in the night.

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Must be a female kitty thing because I have had FOUR female cats in my lifetime that would sit on the back of the sofa at night while I watched TV or worked on the computer and groom my hair and take a little bit. Have you seen other cats groom each other that way? Mine do it all the time and I have no clue what that means in cat language BUT they lick each other, allogroom, and then one will take a gentle hold of the other. And, yes, I don't allow this at night and make it quite clear with any who attempt by tossing them to the foot of the bed. :anon: :lol3: Perla will do it on the back of the sofa and I allow it there only.

Chaucer said:

Miss H is 4 months old now and will be 5 months when her new family picks her up. Chaucer LOVES to play with her and the feeling is mutual. He dances around at the back door and wants to go out to the storage room despite Henryetta's behavior. However, I will stop this to prevent any further stress for Henryetta and confusion for Chaucer and just let them work it all out when she moves into the house. I will have to contain her at night until they can get along, but maybe in the guest room instead of the laundry room for her. It's bigger with windows to look out.

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I am sorry that Chaucer can't play with Miss H anymore. :shame: But, in reality, Miss H is not permanent either so I guess it would be for the best to keep them apart until Henryetta can come in the house full time. I don't have all the answers either !!!! And, I think you are doing a really, really, REALLY great job with all you have been dealt.

MsAimee said:

I don't think you need to be afraid of her, either. Today is the one year anniversary of my taking in my feral Mia. She's come a long way, but she still swipes at me and scratches me sometimes if I pet her for too long, or when she's wound up from playing with me and the wand toy. She has sometimes nipped at me, too, but not hard enough to break the skin. Cats, even domestic ones, will swipe or nip as warnings to let their human know they don't like what their human is doing.

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Absolutely and wanted to quote you out on this! Feral, stray, hand-raised kitties all have that innate personality trait to be easily overstimulated during pets, scritches and kisses. Some have that breaking point and you have to know the signs. All kitties, feral or not, can behave this way. Good point and good job with Mia.

That's good to know, MsAimee. My other cats weren't really swatters or nippers or attackers.  This is my first time having two cats at once, and then I ended up with seven counting the kittens for a few months. A little overwhelming, particularly since I'm by myself in a new-ish town that's small and I haven't lived in for a long time and am here taking care of a lot of family business too, and all by myself.