New to caring for a stray/feral and second-guessing myself and need some encouragement and support

msaimee · May 13, 2014

I had a similar situation a few years ago. A female (spayed) cat who lived on the block started to come up on my porch to eat from Muffin's food bowl
(he's my feral tom). Muffin and this cat did not get along and often fought. At first I was tolerant because I thought she was a feral or stray, but then I learned that she belonged to neighbors at the end of the block. I spoke with them about their cat coming to my porch and fighting with my cat. They said they tried to keep her inside, but she kept getting out. (Really??? How hard is it to keep your cat from going out the door when you open it?) After that I just shooed her away when she'd come to my porch if I was around and she stopped coming around. I hated to be mean, but the truth is that she gave Muffin some cuts from their fighting and I didn't want her anywhere around my property. Thankfully her owners moved away and took her with them. If you shoo the neighbor cats away every time you see them, they will hopefully get the message and stay away. I know it's hard to do, but they already have a food source, and if they start fighting with your cats, it will be more stressful for everyone.

I'm not sure this is at all good advice, because I can't imagine other posters on this forum being able to shoo away any cat, lol! It's not in my nature to shoo any cat, but I'm a mama bear when it comes to protecting my Muffin.

chaucer · May 13, 2014

MsAimee, I agree with you. It is difficult to shoo them off, but good grief, they have a home and they are not starving. It's come to the point that the dominant one annoys me with that sitting on my steps and yowling until I feed her something and the thing is, both of them leave half what I put out even though it isn't even a 1/4 cup of food for the two of them! Chaucer is an indoor-only cat and Henryetta, who knows these two cats from her days outside, is now an indoors-only cat who has her kittens to protect. This morning, Henryetta was looking through the screen door on the storage room and saw the two cats. I usually keep the wooden door and screen door closed since the kittens arrived but the room needed a little airing. I thought the pair had gone but no. One of the cats came from under the care and there hissed at her, but I suspect that is because once Henryetta decided she was "mine" and this was "her" home, she ran these two off. I saw her chasing them off a time or two. You would think that would now deter these two from coming here since they know she is still around. The worry for me is that the dominant of the pair will rush into my house when I open the door. These cats appear to have had some fights in their life, and they would have if they spend time outdoors.

feralvr · May 13, 2014

I know the problem, well. Very, very frustrating. I have had to take extreme measures with some who were not caring for their cats at all, complete neglect. I moved a year ago and had to relocate a few feral cats of mine but had a problem with a couple of neighbor's and their free-roaming cats. The good thing was that my ferals were all spayed/neutered so they mostly kept other cats at bay anyway. I also fed on a schedule each and everyday so there was no food left for the "owned" cats to eat and that kept them from coming around as well. But, still it was frustrating knowing I was supplying food and spending my own money to supplement the neighbor's cats diet. argh.

I want to suggest the following since you are not feeding feral cats at the moment since bringing in Henryetta. I know this will be very, very hard but stop feeding them and see if they go away. I don't think these cats are neglected and will miss you putting food out. They will be disappointed but you have to think of your own first and foremost. :nod: I say that with a heavy heart because in the beginning it will be hard. There is also that SSSCAT air sprayer that I posted in your thread, I think, to use as a deterrent. Here is the link again It is safe and you can place it outside near your doors and patio doors and that will shoo the cats away. It really works and they won't come around once they get started by the noise. I could not use this because I had a feral cat colony that I cared for but have used this in the past and it really, really works to keep animals away from your windows and doors.

Also - you don't want, as you already say, having Chaucer getting upset right now since you will soon be bringing Henryetta in to join the family. The less stress the better. You won't have to worry about FIV (only spread through a deep tissue bite) BUT FeLK (feline Leukemia) IS a huge threat. Chances are that they are fine, but still not worth taking the risk and I don't blame you for worrying about that. :vibes:

chaucer · May 13, 2014

Chaucer and Henryetta are both FIV and Feline Leukemia free and he's had his booster this year and she had her first of the series when I took her to the vet that time. I'm leery of anything that makes noise since Henryetta is just across the carport in the storage room but when she is in the house that would be great. Henryetta used to keep these cats away once she staked out this territory, although she would sometimes let the dominate one eat and they would blink at each other. I feel bad about the kittens' father. He was with her at the house across the street and used to come by sometimes but I guess he just wanted to mate and that's why he always followed her around but they kept touching noses, which she now does with me. LOL!

feralvr · May 17, 2014

Chaucer said:
they kept touching noses, which she now does with me. LOL!

AWWWWWWWWWW... :heart3: I think somebody loves you.

If you can ever muster up the strength and are willing to do so for the male cat, try to get him trapped and neutered if he comes back around on a regular basis. He has probably moved on to find more females to breed.

:shame:

for the darling kittens and for momma!! :rub:

chaucer · May 19, 2014

Feralvr said:
AWWWWWWWWWW...

I think somebody loves you.

If you can ever muster up the strength and are willing to do so for the male cat, try to get him trapped and neutered if he comes back around on a regular basis. He has probably moved on to find more females to breed.

for the darling kittens and for momma!!

I am glad she trusts me. I see the male cat sometimes but he is skittish and rarely ate here. The only times he showed up were when Henryetta was in heat and he was sniffing around her, but sometimes they would meet up and were simply friendly. Here is a photo I took in late February right before she went into heat. Chaucer is in the house.

feralvr · May 23, 2014

Chaucer said:

:lol3:

LOOK at Chaucer !!!!!!!!!! Saying "don't you dare come any closer". I guess the upside is that it gives Chaucer something to do and adds a bit of drama to his day.

I hope the kittens and Henryetta are doing well. :cross: :vibes:

chaucer · May 24, 2014

This was in the days when Henry and Chaucer ate breakfast "together" with the screen door between them each morning. They would eat and then she'd come to the door and they'd "fight" through the door. When "Tom" showed up, it was if the husband (Tom) caught her with the boyfriend (Chaucer).

The kittens seem to be doing well. They are gaining weight and at just over three-weeks, starting to explore their surroundings. I've had to raise their box a couple of times to prevent them climbing out. I'm going to have to bring them inside soon because exploring in the storage room will be a bit dangerous with the furniture, nooks and crannies and such. Henryetta will go into heat in a few weeks and the risk of her running out the door, even with the screen, before she can be spayed is concerning. She had a fight through the screen with the neighbor cats a week a go. I stopped feeding them and they still come around but I haven't seen them in the past couple of days.

feralvr · Jun 12, 2014

WELL - I can't believe it has been almost two and a half weeks since checking in here

!!!!!!!!!!!! My goodness, the kittens are over five weeks now. Did you bring them inside? :cross: I am sure Henryetta was VERY protective of her kittens in the storage room and outside cats approaching the door. Anyway - hope you see the soon and give an update on the little family.

chaucer · Jun 12, 2014

They are six weeks old tonight and are little balls of fire running around the storage room. Henryetta is a good mother and has been weaning the kittens for a couple of weeks now. They use the litter box too. She is skittish of people, although a couple of people were able to come inside the storage room with me a couple of weeks ago. Today, however, she hissed at my next-door neighbor while she was looking in the screen door at her and the kittens. The kittens were clamoring at the screen and Henryetta went and hid in the back. It's funny that this happened because my neighbor loves cats and has rescued one before. She currently has an indoor cat. I'd like for people to start picking up the kittens so they get used to people other than me.

Chaucer, now, he loves everyone. I was carrying him when my neighbor met me at the fence and he'd never seen her before and let her pet him. He looks at the kittens through the screen and steps back when they start climbing it. Henryetta has hissed at him once and then the next times I've taken him to the screen, she touches noses with him through the screen. In the house, though, he jumped her a couple of times. Hoping that they will work it out when I bring her inside after having her spayed. I'll have both of their claws trimmed before they get together.

feralvr · Jun 19, 2014

Chaucer said:
Hoping that they will work it out when I bring her inside after having her spayed. I'll have both of their claws trimmed before they get together.

And, they WILL. Can't expect Henryetta to be any other way right other than protective of her kittens. She IS a good mother and that is what good mother's do.

Once the kittens are taken away and she is spayed and brought indoors, she will settle in and become everything to you and Chaucer. :cross: I am counting on it.

Good to hear everyone is doing so well.

chaucer · Jun 21, 2014

Henryetta was spayed a couple of days ago because she went into heat. Instead of bringing her home the same day, I had them keep her overnight. She is doing just fine and seems to like the house. She and the kittens are in the house right now but are separated a good deal of the time to allow Henryetta to rest a little since they kittens still want to nurse a little. Unfortunately, they must all go back to the storage room in a day or two because it is very stressful for Chaucer who is shut up in my bedroom. The kittens are confined in a guest bathroom with a sliding door that is barricaded with a card table turned on its side and various other things.

Henryetta's sides are caved in below her ribs. Is this normal? I read that it has to do with loss of body fat and that is understandable since she gave birth and has been nursing but she doesn't have much of an appetite and prefers to share her meals with the kittens. She is also meowing, almost heat-howls right now. I'm hoping that this is all normal.

She's come a long way from the scared cat who would run if she saw me.

feralvr · Jun 25, 2014

So sorry getting back to you late here!!! Yes - this would be totally normal for her sides to be a bit sunken in. She has been through a lot and the surgery on top of that. She WILL recover and I hope by this reading that she is eating well. Offer her some yummy canned food such as Fancy Feast's Pate's. There is even a kitten Fancy Feast - turkey and ocean fish. Canned kitten food will help put some weight on her.

You really are a wonderful surrogate mom and I take my hat off to you (even though I don't wear hats :lol3

. You know what I mean.

chaucer · Jun 26, 2014

Thanks.

The kittens may be staying with me for some time. I sent an email to the local shelter inquiring about their kitten policy and telling them details about the three-four kittens I wanted to bring. I was told to call and get on the waiting list. This was fine since the kittens were just a little over 7 weeks old and I was planning to keep them for another two or three weeks, four if necessary. When I called, I was told that they only hoped they could take them in four weeks because they were overrun with kittens, having taken in 16 the previous week. All their cages were full and the PetSmart they partner with still had their kittens there. To the shelter's credit, even though I offered to get their first shots and even casually mentioned that the woman who had started up the shelter, a friend of my mother, had referred me, I am still at the bottom of the list. Oh well, I tried.

While I'm fortunate to have the storage room for them, they are growing and are very active. It's also getting a lot warmer out there even though I have the screen door. The screen doors are old and they won't stand up to kittens climbing to the upper part. They could push out the screen since there is no wood on it like on the bottom. The windows don't open out there either, but at least the concrete floor feels cool. I'm hoping I can get them adopted before it gets too hot. Mostly, I worry about Henryetta, who is now putting on some weight, out there. She was so happy while in the house for four days recovering from her surgery, but I can't leave the "wild bunch" in the storage room alone. Henryetta provides some supervision out there.

werecat · Jun 26, 2014

H

Chaucer said:
Sorry this is long, but I really am at a loss and need some encouragement and support. You see, I'm a newbie here but I'm also a newbie to the stray/feral care. I have come to this board because I really do not have anyone who understands or can help me much with this. I moved to a new state and into a house about nine months ago. Since December, I've been feeding some cats who would come round. I thought this was a good idea at the time since it was so cold, plus my own male (neutered) cat enjoyed seeing the other cats, One cat seemed to start coming by and I recalled seeing her across the street. I think she was abandoned. It took me some time but she started trusting me and looking for me, eventually running over to see me and rub around my ankles, even if her journey involved jumping over fences or crawling under them. I thought about taking her in at that time but waited to be sure she was tame enough. A little later I discovered she was pregnant and it broke my heart to think she was going to have those kittens outside without care, and in a couple of weeks finally managed to coax her into my cat's carrier and drove immediately to my vet's because I was very worried about her.

It's been since Tuesday that I took her and she stayed there a couple of days, due to some things he did that I did not authorize, which is another issue, and then I brought her home Thursday afternoon. It went okay that day but since Friday things have gone downhill through a series of mishaps, including a frightening one yesterday, culminating with today when she had to be contained in my laundry room while I was having some renovations done in the other part of the house, and they have to come back tomorrow. My own cat was shut up in my bedroom. Now the new cat won't go into the laundry room at all because of her fear of being shut in and I cannot let her roam the house at night and get into things. She is not avoiding me per se, but she is definitely not as loving. The constant rubbing around my ankles and purring has become a lot less and she runs when she sees me at time. My cat cannot come out of the bedroom because they had a brief fur-flying fight when I stepped on her foot and he reacted to her shriek and running off on Friday and she now hisses and growls at him, even when he is in his new carrier. Prior to my misstep they had been touching noses. Because she is pregnant, I do not want another fight so I'm keeping them separated.

I thought things through before I took her in, but have now started second-guessing what I've done. I felt that since I started feeding her and showing her affection that I am committed to caring for her, and I still believe this, but she is so very unhappy being inside. She goes from the glass door to the picture windows and cries most of the time and she has had a time of it the past few days, and she is especially terrified of other people and will run and try to escape any way she can. Yesterday, it was down an ash chute which she unplugged and went down into the base of my fireplace. Talk about a scared caretaker! So now I wondering if I have done the right thing by taking her out of her element and I'm worried about the state of the kittens as she is nearly 6 weeks along and all of these things including shots, sedation and worming (without my authorization) has truly hurt the kittens. My intentions have been good, but it is heartbreaking seeing her so upset and thinking of the mishaps she has had since here, not to mention my own cat who is being really good about the situation but he can't love being shut up most of the day.. He'd really like to be her friend but after their set-to she is avoiding him like the plague and growling. I plan to have her spayed as soon as the kittens are weaned but I'm not sure I can handle all of this. Is it just early days and will things improve? I feel really guilty and I'm blaming myself for all the problems. I know it is hard for all three of us, her, my cat and me. right now. Will things improve?

Thank you.
[

werecat · Jun 26, 2014

werecat said:
H

Chaucer said:

Sorry this is long, but I really am at a loss and need some encouragement and support. You see, I'm a newbie here but I'm also a newbie to the stray/feral care. I have come to this board because I really do not have anyone who understands or can help me much with this. I moved to a new state and into a house about nine months ago. Since December, I've been feeding some cats who would come round. I thought this was a good idea at the time since it was so cold, plus my own male (neutered) cat enjoyed seeing the other cats, One cat seemed to start coming by and I recalled seeing her across the street. I think she was abandoned. It took me some time but she started trusting me and looking for me, eventually running over to see me and rub around my ankles, even if her journey involved jumping over fences or crawling under them. I thought about taking her in at that time but waited to be sure she was tame enough. A little later I discovered she was pregnant and it broke my heart to think she was going to have those kittens outside without care, and in a couple of weeks finally managed to coax her into my cat's carrier and drove immediately to my vet's because I was very worried about her.

It's been since Tuesday that I took her and she stayed there a couple of days, due to some things he did that I did not authorize, which is another issue, and then I brought her home Thursday afternoon. It went okay that day but since Friday things have gone downhill through a series of mishaps, including a frightening one yesterday, culminating with today when she had to be contained in my laundry room while I was having some renovations done in the other part of the house, and they have to come back tomorrow. My own cat was shut up in my bedroom. Now the new cat won't go into the laundry room at all because of her fear of being shut in and I cannot let her roam the house at night and get into things. She is not avoiding me per se, but she is definitely not as loving. The constant rubbing around my ankles and purring has become a lot less and she runs when she sees me at time. My cat cannot come out of the bedroom because they had a brief fur-flying fight when I stepped on her foot and he reacted to her shriek and running off on Friday and she now hisses and growls at him, even when he is in his new carrier. Prior to my misstep they had been touching noses. Because she is pregnant, I do not want another fight so I'm keeping them separated.

I thought things through before I took her in, but have now started second-guessing what I've done. I felt that since I started feeding her and showing her affection that I am committed to caring for her, and I still believe this, but she is so very unhappy being inside. She goes from the glass door to the picture windows and cries most of the time and she has had a time of it the past few days, and she is especially terrified of other people and will run and try to escape any way she can. Yesterday, it was down an ash chute which she unplugged and went down into the base of my fireplace. Talk about a scared caretaker! So now I wondering if I have done the right thing by taking her out of her element and I'm worried about the state of the kittens as she is nearly 6 weeks along and all of these things including shots, sedation and worming (without my authorization) has truly hurt the kittens. My intentions have been good, but it is heartbreaking seeing her so upset and thinking of the mishaps she has had since here, not to mention my own cat who is being really good about the situation but he can't love being shut up most of the day.. He'd really like to be her friend but after their set-to she is avoiding him like the plague and growling. I plan to have her spayed as soon as the kittens are weaned but I'm not sure I can handle all of this. Is it just early days and will things improve? I feel really guilty and I'm blaming myself for all the problems. I know it is hard for all three of us, her, my cat and me. right now. Will things improve?

Thank you.
[

Click to expand...

Hi! Sorry you're having such a hard beginning! First of all YES it does get better. Your new feral is Scared! It isn't sure what or who is safe. From the cats perspective; it always lived outside, foraged for food, free to roam, no strange people or cats to get used to.... And although unintentional, its been hurt twice, by you and a cat that it was learning to trust!! You will have to rebuild that trust! Try play toys, catnip, a soft furry blanket, litter box and bed that belongs only to the feral. Give it a "safe-haven" where it can run to when its afraid, eve

werecat · Jun 26, 2014

werecat said:
Hi! Sorry you're having such a hard beginning! First of all YES it does get better. Your new feral is Scared! It isn't sure what or who is safe. From the cats perspective; it always lived outside, foraged for food, free to roam, no strange people or cats to get used to.... And although unintentional, its been hurt twice, by you and a cat that it was learning to trust!! You will have to rebuild that trust! Try play toys, catnip, a soft furry blanket, litter box and bed that belongs only to the feral. Give it a "safe-haven" where it can run to when its afraid, eve

werecat said:
H

Chaucer said:

Sorry this is long, but I really am at a loss and need some encouragement and support. You see, I'm a newbie here but I'm also a newbie to the stray/feral care. I have come to this board because I really do not have anyone who understands or can help me much with this. I moved to a new state and into a house about nine months ago. Since December, I've been feeding some cats who would come round. I thought this was a good idea at the time since it was so cold, plus my own male (neutered) cat enjoyed seeing the other cats, One cat seemed to start coming by and I recalled seeing her across the street. I think she was abandoned. It took me some time but she started trusting me and looking for me, eventually running over to see me and rub around my ankles, even if her journey involved jumping over fences or crawling under them. I thought about taking her in at that time but waited to be sure she was tame enough. A little later I discovered she was pregnant and it broke my heart to think she was going to have those kittens outside without care, and in a couple of weeks finally managed to coax her into my cat's carrier and drove immediately to my vet's because I was very worried about her.

It's been since Tuesday that I took her and she stayed there a couple of days, due to some things he did that I did not authorize, which is another issue, and then I brought her home Thursday afternoon. It went okay that day but since Friday things have gone downhill through a series of mishaps, including a frightening one yesterday, culminating with today when she had to be contained in my laundry room while I was having some renovations done in the other part of the house, and they have to come back tomorrow. My own cat was shut up in my bedroom. Now the new cat won't go into the laundry room at all because of her fear of being shut in and I cannot let her roam the house at night and get into things. She is not avoiding me per se, but she is definitely not as loving. The constant rubbing around my ankles and purring has become a lot less and she runs when she sees me at time. My cat cannot come out of the bedroom because they had a brief fur-flying fight when I stepped on her foot and he reacted to her shriek and running off on Friday and she now hisses and growls at him, even when he is in his new carrier. Prior to my misstep they had been touching noses. Because she is pregnant, I do not want another fight so I'm keeping them separated.

I thought things through before I took her in, but have now started second-guessing what I've done. I felt that since I started feeding her and showing her affection that I am committed to caring for her, and I still believe this, but she is so very unhappy being inside. She goes from the glass door to the picture windows and cries most of the time and she has had a time of it the past few days, and she is especially terrified of other people and will run and try to escape any way she can. Yesterday, it was down an ash chute which she unplugged and went down into the base of my fireplace. Talk about a scared caretaker! So now I wondering if I have done the right thing by taking her out of her element and I'm worried about the state of the kittens as she is nearly 6 weeks along and all of these things including shots, sedation and worming (without my authorization) has truly hurt the kittens. My intentions have been good, but it is heartbreaking seeing her so upset and thinking of the mishaps she has had since here, not to mention my own cat who is being really good about the situation but he can't love being shut up most of the day.. He'd really like to be her friend but after their set-to she is avoiding him like the plague and growling. I plan to have her spayed as soon as the kittens are weaned but I'm not sure I can handle all of this. Is it just early days and will things improve? I feel really guilty and I'm blaming myself for all the problems. I know it is hard for all three of us, her, my cat and me. right now. Will things improve?

Thank you.
[

Click to expand...

werecat said:

Hi! Sorry you're having such a hard beginning! First of all YES it does get better. Your new feral is Scared! It isn't sure what or who is safe. From the cats perspective; it always lived outside, foraged for food, free to roam, no strange people or cats to get used to.... And although unintentional, its been hurt twice, by you and a cat that it was learning to trust!! You will have to rebuild that trust! Try play toys, catnip, a soft furry blanket, litter box and bed that belongs only to the feral. Give it a "safe-haven" where it can run to when its afraid, even if its a box on its side under the bed, or a high shelf it can Easily access [

werecat said:

Hi! Sorry you're having such a hard beginning! First of all YES it does get better. Your new feral is Scared! It isn't sure what or who is safe. From the cats perspective; it always lived outside, foraged for food, free to roam, no strange people or cats to get used to.... And although unintentional, its been hurt twice, by you and a cat that it was learning to trust!! You will have to rebuild that trust! Try play toys, catnip, a soft furry blanket, litter box and bed that belongs only to the feral. Give it a "safe-haven" where it can run to when its afraid, eve

Click to expand...

quote name="werecat" url="/t/275679/new-to-caring-for-a-stray-need-some-encouragement-and-support/90#post_3582419"]
Hi! Sorry you're having such a hard beginning! First of all YES it does get better. Your new feral is Scared! It isn't sure what or who is safe. From the cats perspective; it always lived outside, foraged for food, free to roam, no strange people or cats to get used to.... And although unintentional, its been hurt twice, by you and a cat that it was learning to trust!! You will have to rebuild that trust! Try play toys, catnip, a soft furry blanket, litter box and bed that belongs only to the feral. Give it a "safe-haven" where it can run to when its afraid, even if its a box on its side under the bed. Regain trust through treatsi.e.

Click to expand...

werecat said:

Hi! Sorry you're having such a hard beginning! First of all YES it does get better. Your new feral is Scared! It isn't sure what or who is safe. From the cats perspective; it always lived outside, foraged for food, free to roam, no strange people or cats to get used to.... And although unintentional, its been hurt twice, by you and a cat that it was learning to trust!! You will have to rebuild that trust! Try play toys, catnip, a soft furry blanket, litter box and bed that belongs only to the feral. Give it a "safe-haven" where it can run to when its afraid, eve

Click to expand...

werecat · Jun 26, 2014

sorry about the multiple posts, my phone likes to end my replies for me lol! After you regain the ferals trust, feed it and your cat together in the same room where they can see each other while eating. Play with them with a few feet of space between them, but in the at same time. When your momma cat has her kittens she will be focused on them, not outside. Sorry this is long and broken up, hope it helps:-D

msaimee · Jun 26, 2014

Chaucer, have you tried to advertise to find adoptive homes for the cats? In your local newspaper, online, or even hanging up pictures of them in supermarkets, churches, and school areas? Do you have any friends who might take one or two? It would be ideal if they went from your house directly into another caring home rather than spending time in a shelter where they may or may not find homes. If you took some cute pictures of them and posted them online and in your community, you might get lucky. Also ask around among your co-workers, who might take a kitten or know someone who is thinking of taking in a kitten. Just a thought!

cheddar · Jun 27, 2014

It's so nice to hear you are helping this beautiful cat. I am not well versed in the cat world, just wanted to commend you for your great effort and good deed.

New to caring for a stray/feral and second-guessing myself and need some encouragement and support

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