New to caring for a stray/feral and second-guessing myself and need some encouragement and support

Sorry this is long, but I really am at a loss and need some encouragement and support. You see, I'm a newbie here but I'm also a newbie to the stray/feral care. I have come to this board because I really do not have anyone who understands or can help me much with this.  I moved to a new state and into a house about nine months ago. Since December, I've been feeding some cats who would come round.  I thought this was a good idea at the time since it was so cold, plus  my own male (neutered) cat enjoyed seeing the other cats, One cat seemed to start coming by and I recalled seeing her across the street. I think she was abandoned. It took me some time but she started trusting me and looking for me, eventually running over to see me and rub around my ankles, even if her journey involved jumping over fences or crawling under them. I thought about taking her in at that time but waited to be sure she was tame enough. A little later I  discovered she was pregnant and it broke my heart to think she was going to have those kittens outside without care, and in a couple of weeks  finally managed to coax her into my cat's carrier and drove immediately to my vet's because I was very worried about her.

It's been since Tuesday that I took her and she stayed there a couple of days, due to some things he did that I did not authorize, which is another issue,  and then I brought her home Thursday afternoon. It went okay that day but since Friday things have gone downhill through a series of mishaps, including a frightening one yesterday, culminating with today when she had to be contained in my laundry room while I was having some renovations done in the other part of the house, and they have to come back tomorrow. My own cat was shut up in my bedroom.   Now the new cat won't go into the laundry room at all because of her fear of being shut in and I cannot let her roam the house at night and get into things. She is not avoiding me per se, but she is definitely not as loving. The constant rubbing around my ankles and purring has become a lot less and she runs when she sees me at time.  My cat cannot come out of the bedroom because they had a brief fur-flying fight when I stepped on her foot and he reacted to her shriek and running off on Friday and she now hisses and growls at him, even when he is in his new carrier. Prior to my misstep they had been touching noses. Because she is pregnant, I do not want another fight so I'm keeping them separated.

I thought things through before I took her in, but have now started second-guessing what I've done. I felt that since I started feeding her and showing her affection that I am committed to caring for her, and I still believe this, but she is so very unhappy being inside. She goes from the glass door to the picture windows and cries most of the time and she has had a time of it the past few days, and she is especially terrified of other people and will run and try to escape any way she can. Yesterday, it was down an ash chute which she unplugged and went down into the base of my fireplace. Talk about a scared caretaker! So now I wondering if I have done the right thing by taking her out of her element and I'm worried about the state of the kittens as she is nearly 6 weeks along and all of these things including shots, sedation and worming (without my authorization) has truly hurt the kittens.  My intentions have been good, but it is heartbreaking seeing her so upset and thinking of the mishaps she has had since here, not to mention my own cat who is being really good about the situation but he can't love being shut up most of the day.. He'd really like to be her friend but after their set-to she is avoiding him like the plague and growling. I plan to have her spayed as soon as the kittens are weaned but I'm not sure I can handle all of this. Is it just early days and will things improve? I feel really guilty and I'm blaming myself for all the problems. I know it is hard for all three of us, her, my cat and me. right now. Will things improve?

Thank you.

Hi! Thanks so much for helping this kitty.

Please look over this article regarding introductions to try to get her and your resident to a happier place.  http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats Honestly, though, I might keep them isolated from one another until the kittens are born and a few weeks old at least.

One thing that jumps out at me is that the stray seems to have full run of the house.  Normally a new addition would be isolated in their own room to become comfortable and to begin introductions.

Good luck and please don't give up yet- this is a very very new addition and is going to require time and patience on all parts.  It is going to be a big adjustment for her, your resident, and you.

Thank you for your reply, tulosai. I wish I could contain her in a quiet room all to herself.  My house is fairly big but the way it is set up doesn't really provide a lot rooms that can easily be shut off. I don't have a basement and my large storage room is outside off the carport. The bathrooms and two entrances to the kitchen/den/ breakfast area have sliding pocket doors that can easily be opened by a cat. The laundry room off the latter area is the only place for her since it has two strong doors, but  while a decent size does require me having to use the room pretty often. The dining room, living room and hallway are open so there are no doors that can be closed to block off an individual room. Having only two bedrooms also creates a problem as I do have guests coming. This is why I have to alternate times with the cats being in the main parts of the house by shutting each up for a part of the day. My cat has house roaming rights at night, but since the new cat is now skittish of being shut in the laundry room, well...

Chaucer and Henryetta "met" through the glass door and screen for a couple of months prior to her coming inside. The batted back and forth with the screen between them so they aren't really strangers. The first morning she was inside, they touched noses and ate breakfast in separate bowls next to each other, sort of like they did when she was outside and he was inside, but since my misstep and his "attack" due to that, things have been different.

Yes - the first thing I thought of too was that she has WAY too much room in the house. She needs an extremely quiet, small room to be confined in permanently. I also really, really hate to mention this but thought I should. Many of us who rescue feral cats - even pregnant - ones for TNR purposes - they are spayed/neutered regardless of whether they are pregnant or not. How far along is she? You mention the vet did some things you did not approve of? At first, I thought this was it - but then read on to see you saying she was still pregnant.

It is best right now to keep her confined to a very small area - even a large cat enclosure if you don't have a small room. Try not to feel bad for her at this point and I know it is hard NOT too. But she is safer inside with you right now especially being pregnant. Do you have a humane society/shelter that is willing to take the kittens from you once they are weaned? Make sure you get one lined up. Being kitten season, they will book up quickly. Good news though, is that most kittens get adopted out quickly from these societies and even better, they are all spayed/neutered before they go. Once they are two pounds they can have the surgeries.

I hope this article will help you some - but since she is pregnant and you are going to keep her that way - then she needs a small space to call her own and have her kittens. I would not even bother with introducing her to your other cat right now. Would not be the best time for this at all. Wait until she has had her kittens, they are weaned and in new homes and she is spayed. Then - go for the introductions. :nod: Keep us posted!!! And we will continue to help you in anyway!!

http://www.catnipchronicles.com/may2012/laurie.htm

Hi, Feralvr.  Thank you. 

I talked to the vet before I was able to trap her about things. He told me they did pregnant spays but I said that if I didn't know it would be fine but since I did, well, I'd let her have the kittens. However, as I mentioned here and in another topic in the pregnancy forum, he gave her all her vaccinations and sedated her to do the blood work and vaccinations. He also wormed her. He never got my authorization for these last three things. I took her in to be sure she did not have FeLV or FIV or something my cat would catch, although he is current on his own shots. Having done all that, I'm kind of doubtful that the kittens are okay. I really cannot understand him doing those things, although I was told that she was far enough along in her pregnancy that the kittens would be okay. The vet did not have an ultrasound machine. I'm in a small town and having moved from a large city so there are only three vets here. I'm checking with the other two about ultrasounds. Given what happened at the vet and all the stress the cat has been under, I'm concerned.

There is a small shelter here and I am fortunate to know the benefactress of the place and if necessary will make a nice donation to move to the head of the list for the kittens and probably the mother cat, too. I actually got my cat, as a kitten, there over a year ago. This is my hometown and I've been away a long time but have recently moved back.

I wanted to let you both know that she went into the laundry room and I fed her and closed the door. Light is on.  She is meowing but I will try to keep her in there and not let her out. It's going to be hard on both of us, though. I wonder if I should use a friend's laundry facilities so as not to keep going back and forth in there.

Chaucer said:

I wanted to let you both know that she went into the laundry room and I fed her and closed the door. Light is on.  She is meowing but I will try to keep her in there and not let her out. It's going to be hard on both of us, though. I wonder if I should use a friend's laundry facilities so as not to keep going back and forth in there.

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First off - I am with you in that I think your vet giving her ALL of her vaccinations AND putting her under anesthesia to do bloodwork, etc. was extremely risky. Especially giving a rabies vaccine. I don't know IF the kittens will be alright or not. I am sad to hear your vet did all of that. I assume she was negative for FIV/FeLK - so good new there. Really - that is ALL he should have done to her along with a stool check. Excellent to hear that you do have a shelter with whom you can receive assistance in placing these kittens and possibly the momma kitty.

I am confused - she is in your laundry room now. Why would you move her to a friend's laundry room? Would your friend be willing to take her to birth her kittens? Does your friend have a small room instead of a laundry room? Either way - make sure you have in the room - a small/medium plastic crate with the door removed and comfy bedding inside. Can you pick up some Feliway spray? http://www.feliway.us/Feliway-Where-to-buy/What-is-Feliway It is less expensive than the plug ins and you can spritz her bedding and the room every 12 hours. This will help to soothe her emotionally. Also - put in a large open litter box or two. Maybe a carpeted two story cat tree? Blankets/bed on top of the dryer to encourage her to rest there as well. Some small mouse toys with added catnip. Spend as much time in there as you can with her. Lots of canned kitten food - yes - kitten food for a pregnant kitty. See if you can find some treats she may love. Most love Temptations - any flavor. Play some classical music !!! Vertical space will be appreciated by her right now.

I know you have taken on so much but I am so heart warmed in you doing this for her. Your heart is in the right place and your intentions are pure and good. Bless you. I know this will be hard right now. How far along was she - did the vet say? Good that you have a thread in Pregnant cats too. I have not seen the thread - yet - but will try to keep up with you, this momma cat and her upcoming birth. and yes - it will be alright. You are doing a good thing. :nod:

 Bless you for rescuing that poor kitty!!  Does she have a box or covered crate that she can cave up in?? She will still want to be out and about, but she may enjoy spending more time if she has a good hidey-hole.  Also, plenty of toys might help.  I have a couple of ferals in a very tiny bathroom (one has tamed up nicely, but he's been in there since Dec., waiting for freezing temps to rise) and toys seem to help, along with a crate in the shower stall and a square box next to the sink.  Please keep us updated!!

Feralvr and catsknowme, thank you both for your kind words. I appreciate them so much because I've been thinking about how I've messed this all up.

Wow, a tiny bathroom with your two cats since December, catsknowme?  I'm in awe!

Re the laundry room:  I meant if I continue to keep her in the laundry room I might have to go to a friend's house to wash my clothes so I don't disturb Henryetta.   She does have all the things you both mentioned, except for the calming spray, in there. Before I brought her inside, I made her a cave-like hiding space, which consists of a large box on its side with a pillow in it. It's in the back of the laundry room, under a table I'd covered with a rug. I have been adding dry kitten food to the dry kibble she'd been eating with the other cats outside but I will get some canned kitten food.  I did not let her out this morning and she cried, but she cries when I let her out, so....   Should I leave the light on in there at night? I have been, but I wondered if it should be off at night?

Yes, she is FIV and FeLV free which was what I was taking her there to find out, along with a checkup. He thought she was at the end of the second trimester, but since I saw her mating, he was about a week-10 days off.  I was stunned that she received the FVRCP, Rabies and FeLV first shot, and he wormed her but I can understand that since I was bringing her into a home with another cat. The anesthesia apparently was given so he could examine her. He shaved her stomach and she has little black marks on it that I don't understand, although I hadn't seen her stomach with her fur covering it before and could be bruises from the exam, pregnancy or from jumping fences or crawling under them, or could just be natural marks on her stomach. I don't remember seeing them the first night I brought her home, though, and it was before she took the trip down the ash chute. She's a Torbie so it could be natural markings on the skin. This is kind of pathetic, but I have two friends who are nurses, one an obstetrical one and the other a gynecological nurse practitioner. Did I consult them? Yes, I did. Both feel the kittens are past the stage where they are developing and are just growing and will probably be okay, but it's the "probably" that's bothering me, and not the okay. I'm squeamish.

 Thanks to this site and the replies I've received, including those you both have given me,  I've made two decisions 1) to get a second opinion from another vet and go from there, provided I can get her into the carrier again. 2) that I will need to move her to the storage room to give her that privacy and peace she needs and would have to do that in any case if and when she has kittens. 

Well - I can certainly tell that Henryetta ( LOVE THAT NAME !!! ) could not have any better care. You are so kind and she is lucky to have found you.

Yes - turn off that light at night! Leave a very dim night light plugged in - that is all. Since there is not window or outside light - she will appreciate knowing it is night time. I don't think you have messed up at all !!! Honestly, we just do the best we can in that moment and believe me, things will work out. Will the road be an easy one - probably not all the time - but if you make these decisions and follow through then things will be alright in the end.

I still am concerned, too, about all of the vaccinations she received being pregnant and quite shocked really that a vet would approve. I think getting another opinion is a good idea - Feed her inside the crate today with the door propped open. Will she eat in your presence? Use sardines and/or tuna - a small amount to entice her to quickly go inside the crate to eat. Once she goes in, quickly and swiftly, close/latch the crate door. I have done this many times and it is the best way and the least stressful way to get them into a crate. I am not sure what to say about the kitten's health at this point after all of those vaccinations and would like to hear what another vet would say and whether or not he would suggest a spay/abort at this point :shame: or if he thinks the kittens will be alright. Whatever you decide - it will be the right decision and we will be here to help you through this whole process. I just want you to be prepared for things that could go wrong with any cat giving birth and the expense if those kittens are, in fact, sick. I know - lots of decisions and things to think about. I am sorry you have to make them but thank you for caring about homeless, helpless cats.

I posted about the second opinion in the Pregnant Cats and Kittens forum. I feel a little better about it now, but not about moving her to the storage room this week, but I still feel it is the best option for all.   I may  have to get some sort of gate to go in front of storage door high enough that I can step over it but more difficult for her to jump it without me closing the door first. Thank you for your caring and helpful comments, and for your encouragement. I will keep this updated.

-First time feral/stray caretaker, first time with a pregnant cat and first time with having two cats!

Feralvr, we cross-posted. I called another vet this morning to make an appointment or for a time I could come in and talk. The nurse immediately contacted the doctor who cleared the first vet (I didn't say who it was) of wrong-doing with the shots because of how long she had been pregnant, except he did say that he would not have sedated her for all of this. They were more concerned that I was not told that the vaccinations and sedation were going to be done. I will be going to this new vet from now on.  The nurse told me to call anytime with questions or concerns. No charge, although I offered to pay.

I don't have an available plug for an additional light in the laundry room. Old house and all, but there is a vent in the ceiling that lets in light, except at night of course. Perhaps I could leave a light on in the kitchen or den so a little would shine under the door. I am going to hope for the best with this and think the storage room is the best option for all.

Chaucer said:

Feralvr, we cross-posted. I called another vet this morning to make an appointment or for a time I could come in and talk. The nurse immediately contacted the doctor who cleared the first vet (I didn't say who it was) of wrong-doing with the shots because of how long she had been pregnant, except he did say that he would not have sedated her for all of this. They were more concerned that I was not told that the vaccinations and sedation were going to be done. I will be going to this new vet from now on.  The nurse told me to call anytime with questions or concerns. No charge, although I offered to pay.

I don't have an available plug for an additional light in the laundry room. Old house and all, but there is a vent in the ceiling that lets in light, except at night of course. Perhaps I could leave a light on in the kitchen or den so a little would shine under the door. I am going to hope for the best with this and think the storage room is the best option for all.

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Very good decision to go to this new vet. They sound really wonderful, caring and willing to help you with Henryetta. Also - good to hear that the kittens should not be in any harm due to the vaccines. Phew.

They do make battery operated night lights. I think any hardware store sells them. I have a couple of them and you just press the top to turn them on and off. I am trying to search to show you a picture and can't find one at the moment. For the storage room - what about installing a screen door in place of the regular door? I also have used a large/tall pliexi glass slider. You have to put something heavy on the floor inside to hold it in place on the bottom and a hook on top to hold it up as you slide it back and forth. Some do use the gates stacked on top of each other but I have had cats easily climb up the gates- up and over. Do keep us posted !!!!!

I'd been looking at pet gates and baby gates to use on the exterior of the door since it opens inward. That is a great idea about the screen doors!  Thank you!  I actually have a number of vintage screen doors that could be used and would be cute at the same time. I wouldn't have to paint them right away and the could be "different." I just gave away the one I'd really like but thought I would never use. The storage room is brick with two doors and two windows so even though it has furniture and boxes in it, it should make a good "house," for Henryetta right now. The floor is concrete and there is electricity in there. I'm in the southern US so it isn't that cold right now. A neighbor's cat got locked in there for 12 hours one day and shredded the very old curtains, but that is not a problem. There will be light in there now and she can look outside.

Wonderful !!!!!! Sounds like you have some pretty cool screen door options! The storage room sounds so much better than the laundry room for her to have her kittens. Love that there are windows in there too. You could add in a tall cat tree if you are so inclined. You can also find some really inexpensive thin indoor/outdoor carpet to throw on the cement floor. I think Henryetta will love her new room and a place she can begin to feel safe and secure and have the confidence in you to help her through this pregnancy. Post a picture ix: when you can!! We love those !!! I see your beautiful Russian blue kitty in your avatar. A lovely kitty. :rub:

I moved into my old family home and have a couple of 5'7' rugs that I don't want and can use those. The storage room is 350 sq ft. so there is plenty of room. It will just require me organizing a little and putting up some of the "dangers."  Henryetta already knows the room because I was trying to lure her in there with food, water, litter box, which she used, and a cardboard scratching box which she used, so she has been in there several times in the past month or so.  I can drape a rug pad over the sofa and put boxes on the chairs and fix up a large box since I have lots of them for her. Will see about getting someone to install the doors for me. I have a yard person who can do most anything.

Chaucie was a local shelter kitten I adopted when he was 4 months old. He's now almost two, but this was the first home he was in since I adopted him when my mom was still living here.  He's very friendly and loves people. Even though he jumped her the other day when I stepped on her, he is mainly just curious and would like to be friends with Henryetta. Today he ran into the laundry room and I was prepared for a stand-off since she hisses and growls at him now. Nothing. She looked at him and went back to eating and he sniffed her litter box. I grabbed him and left the room before anything else could occur between them.

Since we talked about her, here is her picture. This was a few days before the vet visit.

Chaucer said:

Henryetta 2.jpg

• chaucer
• Apr 8, 2014

Since we talked about her, here is her picture. This was a few days before the vet visit.

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Goodness is she ever gorgeous and adorable all at the same time. Just darling. AWWWWW Henryetta - such a lucky girl now. :heart3: Thanks for sharing her picture - it is always nice to see who we are talking about. You are right to try to keep Henryetta and Chaucie apart for now. She will be in no mood for a new friend in her condition and will become quite protective once she has her babies. I am sure Chaucie is interested but will understand.

Wow - the storage room is certainly plenty big. Wonderful - you can make it into her own large sanctuary with lots of fun things to climb on and hang out. I think she will be perfectly happy in there. :bigthumb:

Thank you. She's a Torbie and seems pretty sweet, but that may be because she's pregnant.

I've got to get the room more kitten-friendly and I've called someone to install the screen doors. I'm having them put over the wooden doors and will paint later.  I'm so glad you suggested the screen doors!

Kept her in the laundry room for 36 hours now, with little visits by me.  She's been a lot calmer. I turned off the light last night but left the kitchen light on so there would be a little light under the door. If the moon was out and fuller, she would have had a little light coming through the vent in the ceiling. I'll try to find the battery night light.

The other cats I was feeding seem mostly to be the neighbors' cats. Since Henryetta was the one eating most of the food and wanting it several times a day, I now put out food once a day in the late afternoon. I had a problem with raccoons coming up to the backdoor to eat in the early evening and had to stop that. I didn't want raccoons, skunks or possums coming round.