My BFF is mad at me :(

My BFF is mad at me.  She's my sister from another mother and father!

A couple weeks ago she said she was going to a new restaurant. It's above a hotel and it is in a dome-like structure that revolves. Anyway, one of her friends, who I've met a few times, is having her birthday celebration there.  My BFF asked if I wanted to go.  So at the time I said I would. I had no idea what kind of food was there, or the costs.

Here is the restaurant. It's the structure on the top of the building. This is a view from about where I live.


I had completely forgotten about the plans for tonight, so when my friend contacted me yesterday to say she was picking me up at 5:30 pm, I was confused.  After she reminded me of the restaurant, I looked in Google for the menu to find out more.

OMG!!!!!!!!!  
Once I saw that, I sent her a message saying that I wasn't going to go.  Dinner for one person, without beverages, taxes or tip would be about $80.00!

Steaks are between $45 and $99 dollars!  Yes, that's right!   $99.00!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://www.prairie360.ca/menu/

So now she's not talking to me because I backed out. She was going anyway before I was invited, and she's still going, so it's not like my not going has prevented her from going.  But she's really upset.

I'm currently working reduced hours at work, so my monthly income is down by about $500.00, and I have to pay over a grand for rent,  over $300 per month for cleaning help, medications. And I'm looking into a surgical procedure (gastric bypass)  that will need to be done out of Province so I'll have to make several plane trips to another province for doctor visits; which will cost hundreds of dollars, if the surgery comes to pass.   I explained that to her, but that didn't matter. She told me that "I shafted her."  Which really hurt my feelings.

She lives at home with her Mom in a house that is paid for, so her only expense is her car payment. Her Mom buys the groceries and pays the utilities.

I love her to pieces, but she can be so self-centred and selfish at times.

Things will work themselves out; she just needs some time to cool off.  And once she goes and spends $150.00 on a meal just for herself, and realizes that the food isn't all that great (based on reviews), she will come around.  But in the meantime, I feel so guilty now for not going, and for her being angry with me.

It seems to me if she really is your friend, she would understand that you can't afford that kind of money for one meal and not get mad about it. 

The price of a meal there is more than a weeks worth of groceries!  Even when working full time, the thought of spending that kind of money on a single meal makes me ill! 

Don't get me wrong, I do occasionally go to a nice steak house, where a steak is about $28.00, and the whole meal including a salad, a couple of martinis and dessert costs about $70.00, but that is still about 1/2 of what it would be at that revolving restaurant.   And when I'm feeling tight for cash and having to pull in the budget, I still go out to eat, but I select low to medium priced places, and don't go as often.  I'm perfectly happy going to Perkins  or Boston Pizza.

Wow. I had a hard time doing 50 including tip for 2 when we were better off.  Just felt wrong to blow that much.  99...They better be some Grass fed/pastured/organic/well raised cows.

Wow.  Hopefully she'll cool off and come to her senses.  That kind of price range requires a warning!  Good thing you looked it up beforehand! 

I think this is just an unfortunate misunderstanding. I've been on both sides of the fence, and it is never fun. You're right for saying no, and she's justified for being angry. It's just one of those best friend quarrels that happen once in awhile. I just had a fight with someone I usually enjoy the company of - over cats, of all the reasons in the world - recently too, so I know how you feel.

I can't ever imagine eating a meal that costs more than 3 months of utilities, though.

I don't think she's upset with you for backing out. I think she's upset because you told her you'd go....and THEN you backed out. While I can understand your reasons for not going, the time to say No was when she asked you, not when she's calling to tell you what time she's coming to pick you up. I can honestly say that would frustrate me, too, Linda. She probably did feel shafted. I understand that you forgot about it....things happen.

Maybe if you called her and apologized for backing out at almost the last minute, she'd feel a little better. You can still tell her why (and that's a ton of money for one meal!)

I'm sorry if you don't agree with me, but that's how I'm seeing it.   

I think she's upset that you forgot that you two had plans.  I understand not being able to afford the meal though.  I agree with others, I'd talk it out once things have calmed down.  If she's truly your friend and one worth having, she'll understand that hey, rent comes first and you're sorry that you forgot.

Those prices are crazy. It reminds me of the CN Tower restaurant in Toronto, it's not very good and when I went years ago, a pasta was like $30. 

I probably would have gone still and just ordered one of the cheaper menu options, even if it was just a salad. I don't get out often enough though so that's why I would have gone. I can understand why she is upset, but that is a lot of money to ask someone to spend on dinner. If you can't afford it, then you can't afford it and that should be it.

catlover19 said:

 
I probably would have gone still and just ordered one of the cheaper menu options, even if it was just a salad. 

Click to expand...

  Especially if you didn't buy her a gift or anything, celebrating with her could be the gift. The $99 meal is a 3-lb. steak (!) and the most expensive thing on the menu, there are much less expensive options available.

It wasn't her friend's celebration. She just asked her to go with her.
You should have called her as soon as you saw the prices.
I'm sure when she's cooled down she'll understand the problem.

The girl whose birthday it was I've only met a few times over the span of 20 years. Literally, about 3 times.  She's my BFF's friend from before I knew my BFF.  This girl was having her birthday celebration at that restaurant, and my BFF asked if I would go, about 3 weeks ago.  Unfortunately I said yes before having checked out the restaurant more.

My BFF isn't mad because I forgot about the plan. When she texted me back the reminder about her friends birthday at the restaurant I was still going to go. She was on me about getting "all dolled up", and I told her with only 1/2 hour between getting home and getting picked up, I would do what I could.  It was after that I went to Google just to see what the food was about and nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw the prices.

I think we both handled it badly.  I've sent her another message apologizing for having said yes prior to checking out the place, and that I hoped she could understand that money is tight for me right now.

UPDATE:

I was looking for a particular post and came upon this old thread. I realized I didn't provide an update on it.

My friend went to the dinner and spent $95.00 for her meal without alcohol or tip.

Her review of the restaurant?  She liked the atmosphere.  But she found the food to be "so-so", and "nothing special", and the portions were small. 

Will she go back?  According to her, no, because it was a waste of money and she would have preferred to have gone to Olive Garden where you get value for your money.

She was mad at me for a whole 2 days until she realized that she spent $95.00 plus, more than a week's worth of groceries, on a mediocre dinner.