Stupid Human Tricks

furmonster mom

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Long story... sorry.

Okay, here's the deal.

Loki is a "momma's boy". 

He sucks up to momma any chance he gets.  If he doesn't get his momma time, he turns into a little butthead. 

Okay, sometimes he's a butthead first, then he sucks up to momma.

Hubby knows this.  The other cats know this.  And I know this.

It becomes a bit of a problem at bedtime.  Loki wanders around the room, hassling the other cats who are settling down.

Usually, I can get him to settle within about 5 minutes, and all is fine.

HOWEVER, if want to say, stay up late and read a book downstairs, Loki will not settle down. 

Hubby tries and tries, but Loki keeps looking for momma:  hassling the other cats, banging on the doors, knocking stuff off the bathroom counter, you name it.  He is not a happy cat. 

This, of course, annoys my dear hubby to no end, especially if he has an early morning.

Okay.

So, we've just been leaving Loki out with me, and I bring him in the room when I am done reading.

Problem solved, right?

So, last night, Hubby goes to bed early, because he has an early morning.  He gets everyone in the bedroom... including Loki.

I ask him, "You have Loki up there, too?"

He says, "Yes.  It's fine."

I give him a weird look and say, "Ooooookaaaayyy.  Love you.  G'night." *kiss/hug*

Sure enough, Loki starts in with the other cats.  I can hear the hissing from downstairs. 

Hubby tells him to leave them alone. 

Loki bangs the door.  He rattles the closet door. 

Hubby tells him to stop. 

Loki knocks stuff off the counter.  He plays with the toilet brush.

Hubby tells him to come to bed. 

Then it's quiet.... for a while.

Suddenly, I hear hissing, yowling, stomping, "AUGGGGHH!".

The bedroom door opens, and Hubby comes stomping downstairs with the dog in tow.

wait... the dog?

Me:  "What happened?"

Him:  "YOUR CAT was being a butthead!"

Me:  "Why did you bring the dog down?" 

Him:  "She needs to go outside"

Me:  "Okay, why didn't you just let Loki out as well?"

Him:  (still very angry)  "I tried to grab him, and I just bent my fingernail all the way back!"  He holds up a finger wrapped in tissues, bleeding profusely.

Me:  "You tried to grab him?!   ....   I'm sorry about your nail.  It looks really painful."

Him:  "IT IS." 

He starts rummaging around the kitchen, getting a bowl for water and an ice pack.  I let him do his thing. 

After a few minutes I ask, "Why did you try to grab him?"

Him:  "Because he was hassling the other cats"

Me:  "But... why didn't you just open the door and let him come out to me?"

Him:  "Because I just woke up!  Because I'm tired!  Because I'm pissed!"

Me:  "I'm really sorry about all that.... but all you had to do was open the door..."

Him:  "Look!  I don't need your lecture right now!" 

He glares at me.  I just look back steadily, shake my head, and retreat back to my book.  He goes up to the office to sulk and nurse his wound.

After a few minutes, I let the dog back in, and take her upstairs to the bedroom. 

Loki is at the door, very anxious.  I stay for a few minutes, talking to him, petting him, trying to settle him down.

In walks Hubby.

He sees Loki, and makes a grab at him.

Loki is too quick, and flees under the bed.

I look at my Hubby incredulously, "What the hell?!  You grabbed at him again?  Why?  He wasn't doing anything."

Hubby brushes past me into the bathroom, "I'm pissed at him."

That's the last straw for me.  I brace my arms on the door frame, blocking him in.  "Stop.  Just.  Stop.  You are letting your temper get the best of you.  You just tried to grab him for no other reason than you are pissed."  I look pointedly at his finger, "That didn't work out so well the first time, why would you try it again?"

Hubby glares, "I'm going to the office.  Let me leave."

I let him by.

I go downstairs and read for a few more minutes.  Letting everyone cool down.

I go back to the bedroom.  All the kitties are settled on the bed.  I rummage around the bathroom, collecting bandages and neosporin.  I go back to the office, and toss them on the desk. 

I say, "You are so busy being pissed at a 'dumb animal', and you are stubbornly refusing to look at your own actions."

I leave.

He comes back down after 20 minutes, holds up a very large chunk of wood (our floors are stripped down to the plywood at the moment), and says "This was under my nail."

I raise my eyebrows.  It's actually a very impressive piece, and his nail will probably lift from it if he doesn't keep it taped tightly the next few days.  Yet, I find my sympathy is somewhat minimized by his behavior. 

Seriously.  He wouldn't have had a chunk of wood under his nail if he had simply opened the door to let Loki out.

But I don't say that.

I tell him to wrap it tightly.  He says he is.

I tell him the cats are settled down.  He says fine.

After 15 more minutes, I hear him go to bed.

An hour or so later, I follow suit.

Loki is sleeping in my spot.

I move him a bit, and he re-settles next to me.

Like I said... momma's boy.
 

jcat

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That sounds like my husband. He'll feed tidbits at the table, then complain that Mogli is always begging or stealing food off his plate. It makes you wonder who's misbehaving.

:vibes: that the finger heals fast.
 
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furmonster mom

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That sounds like my husband. He'll feed tidbits at the table, then complain that Mogli is always begging or stealing food off his plate. It makes you wonder who's misbehaving.
 
Hah!  exactly


This was a "cautionary tale", if you will, with a few pertinent points:

1)  Know thy Cat.   Acknowledge that each cat has their own personality and will act accordingly.  Find solutions that will work with your cat's personality.

2)  Set not thyself nor thy Cat up for failure. (Stupid Human Trick #1) Because, truly, if you know your cat's personality, and how they will act, it is pretty easy to predict that certain situations will not work out well.

3)  Let not thy temper rule thine actions, for surely repercussions will follow.   (Stupid Human Trick #2)  Hubby came home and took a picture of the chunk of wood missing from the floor, with his finger next to it.  Apparently he wanted me to be impressed by the wound he had "suffered".  I couldn't help laughing inside a little... such a BOY.  Instead, I just quirked a smile and said, "Hunny, all that tells me is that you hit the floor with rather excessive force." (in other words, he inflicted the wound upon himself)  To which he replied a bit sheepishly, "Yeah.  I let my temper get away."

4)  Fear not to speak for those who cannot.   I know that some folks may be a bit put off by the manner in which I confronted my dear Hubby.  But it had to be done.  I had to make him stop and think.  We've been together for 20 years, and we know how each other acts and re-acts.  I knew that the only way to make him stop and think was to be very direct with him.  I'm sure other folks have different means of communication that works for them.  That's fine.  Speak up.  Sometimes confrontation is necessary.

All's Well That Ends Well

Hubby came home and made nice with Loki.  Loki doesn't seem to be holding any grudges.

We soaked the finger in an epsom salt solution, applied some Melaleuca Gel (made with tea tree oil), and bandaged it snugly.  Hopefully we can save the nail.
 

fhicat

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I've been guilty of #3 when Jed just picks the worse places (under my bed in the corner where I can't really get to without scraping my head against the bed) to throw up. Every other day.

I've done #4 recently with a friend, when I came to the defense of a cat, and she took it personally. She ended up calling me names and we didn't talk for a few days after.
 

betsygee

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Hah!  exactly


This was a "cautionary tale", if you will, with a few pertinent points:

1)  Know thy Cat.   Acknowledge that each cat has their own personality and will act accordingly.  Find solutions that will work with your cat's personality.

2)  Set not thyself nor thy Cat up for failure. (Stupid Human Trick #1) Because, truly, if you know your cat's personality, and how they will act, it is pretty easy to predict that certain situations will not work out well.

3)  Let not thy temper rule thine actions, for surely repercussions will follow.   (Stupid Human Trick #2)  Hubby came home and took a picture of the chunk of wood missing from the floor, with his finger next to it.  Apparently he wanted me to be impressed by the wound he had "suffered".  I couldn't help laughing inside a little... such a BOY.  Instead, I just quirked a smile and said, "Hunny, all that tells me is that you hit the floor with rather excessive force." (in other words, he inflicted the wound upon himself)  To which he replied a bit sheepishly, "Yeah.  I let my temper get away."

4)  Fear not to speak for those who cannot.   I know that some folks may be a bit put off by the manner in which I confronted my dear Hubby.  But it had to be done.  I had to make him stop and think.  We've been together for 20 years, and we know how each other acts and re-acts.  I knew that the only way to make him stop and think was to be very direct with him.  I'm sure other folks have different means of communication that works for them.  That's fine.  Speak up.  Sometimes confrontation is necessary.

All's Well That Ends Well

Hubby came home and made nice with Loki.  Loki doesn't seem to be holding any grudges.

We soaked the finger in an epsom salt solution, applied some Melaleuca Gel (made with tea tree oil), and bandaged it snugly.  Hopefully we can save the nail.
Great rules.  Re #4, I actually think you showed great restraint.  lol  I know what you mean--my hubby and I have been together 30 years, and when he commits a cat faux-pas, I know exactly what thought process led up to it...  
   (I won't hijack your thread with the story, but he once stepped bare-footed in cat poo but the incident was totally self-inflicted...)
 
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furmonster mom

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I've been guilty of #3 when Jed just picks the worse places (under my bed in the corner where I can't really get to without scraping my head against the bed) to throw up. Every other day.

I've done #4 recently with a friend, when I came to the defense of a cat, and she took it personally. She ended up calling me names and we didn't talk for a few days after.
Is Jed sick?  I know it gets so frustrating dealing with cat barf so often. 

I had a cat that did that for a long time.  Not knowing any better, I just assumed that's the way she was.  It finally got to a point where she was literally not keeping anything down at all.  We went to the vet, went through several blood tests, & sonograms, and couldn't find a darned thing.  When we finally helped her cross the bridge, my vet asked if he could do a necropsy, because he had been so stumped and it was a problem that he felt he needed to solve.  It turned out that she had the tiniest tumor growing behind the "flap" at the junction between her stomach and her intestinal tract.  It was blocking the food from moving through her system.  It was so tiny, and growing so slowly, and she had no other cancers anywhere... there was literally no way we could have ever known.  Total fluke.

I hope you and your friend worked it out, and I hope she has a better appreciation of your stance.

So often we are taught to avoid confrontation; we are taught to argue passive-aggressively, if at all.  We forget that sometimes confrontation is a necessary "evil".  It establishes boundaries, it takes strength of character, it forces thought process (we're not talking drunken bar arguments), and if done right, it can actually garner a certain level of respect.
 
Great rules.  Re #4, I actually think you showed great restraint.  lol  I know what you mean--my hubby and I have been together 30 years, and when he commits a cat faux-pas, I know exactly what thought process led up to it...  
   (I won't hijack your thread with the story, but he once stepped bare-footed in cat poo but the incident was totally self-inflicted...)


LOL

I can't count how many times I've stepped in pee, poo, barf, hairballs, tails, paws....  usually followed up by some very colorful and unladylike language!

Maybe rule 5 should be:  Ware where thy feet may tread, lest they step in --it.   
 

fhicat

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Is Jed sick?  I know it gets so frustrating dealing with cat barf so often. 
Vet couldn't figure out what is wrong either. There is no rhyme or reason as to when he pukes. He's barfed on turkey, rabbit, beef, chicken, quail - all his usual food except beef. He's barfed out undigested, partially digested and bile, and sometimes nothing more than a sausage-shaped hairball. He's barfed right after eating and when he hasn't had food in a few hours. He's barfed in the mornings, afternoons, evenings and middle of the night. He's barfed several times in a few days, and then go a couple of weeks without incident.  

No short-term behavior changes otherwise. He asks for food at his usual times, he eats normally, plays normally, and his litter box items look the same as always.
 
So often we are taught to avoid confrontation; we are taught to argue passive-aggressively, if at all.  We forget that sometimes  confrontation is a necessary "evil".  It establishes boundaries, it takes strength of character, it forces thought process (we're not talking drunken bar arguments), and  if done right, it can actually garner a certain level of respect.
I like you.

We were talking about the news where a cat traveled 6 miles to find its owner. Our topic changed to people surrendering pets, and some inane reasons I've heard. Somehow she took that personally, because apparently she has had to surrender pets before, so she thought I was judging her. She started getting really upset, and when I stood my ground (rather than say, "oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you", because I wasn't sorry about voicing my opinion about people who treat pets as commodities, to be returned or given away when it no longer suits them) that I was talking about the article, and nothing I have said was about her at all.

She proceeded to call me names (I even learnt a new word, "manstruation") and how I was ruining her enjoyment of the article, and how I was adding misery to a world already full of it, "mocking something beautiful". I refuse to apologize for voicing an opinion. If she wanted a yes-man, she should find another friend. I made it clear several times that I was not talking about her and her past at all. But she didn't budge. It became all about her. So I said, "I'll talk to you once you feel better," and walked away.
 
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