Help with new cat!!

Hey guys!

 I'm new to this site. I found it a couple of days ago and I thought it would be the perfect place to ask for advise. 

About 4 days ago, I brought home Callie, a beautiful half persian/domestic short hair mix who I believed would be an excellent companion when my mom and sister were out of the house and for when I would move out to go to graduate school (in about a year). After doing my research and visiting Callie at the foster mom's house, I decided to adopt her. I was very excited and confident in my decision until the night before I went to go pick her up. From then on, I've been pretty nervous/stressed. Callie has been adjusting to the new home slowly, and sometimes I am left feeling overwhelmed. She is my first cat (first pet ever actually), and while my sister is helping out with playing and cleaning, I can't help but continue to feel stressed. I feel like reading the few cat training and maintenance books that I had purchased before deciding to buy her have not really prepared me for what life would be like after bringing me home, and I've had trouble getting used to the late night escapades and carpet clawing. It hasn't been all bad though. Callie is warming up nicely to my family, and (despite her first accident today) has been excellent in regards to the litter box. I don't know if I'm just nervous because I've never experienced this before, or if it is a sign that I am just not ready for a pet. I still have a few days to decide, but I just don't know what to do. Should I consider taking her back to foster care? I really don't want to do that to her, especially after she has just started getting used to us, but I just feel so overwhelmed at times.  

Any advice experienced cat owners could give me would be greatly appreciated! 

Hi chungdoo, welcome.

Its a big leap to commit to another creature's needs, and don't let your anxiousness scare you. It will pass. Callie will be far less of a burden than any Fido or Rover would have been.

How old is Callie? You have to remember that she is stressed also, coming into a new house. Cats are nocturnal by nature, in she is falling back onto her instincts with her prowlings. They can usually fall easily into our sleep cycles as she gets more accustomed to you and the surroundings. Our Dover is a total bedtime-cop. He lets us know when 10:00 has come, and gets downright grumpy if we stay up much longer.

Open yourself to her. She will know if you are apprehensive. Trust yourself and your intuitions.

This is as with small children, interrupted sleep until you figure out what works for your cat. There are very helpful posts on CatSite how to deal with sleep interuptions at night, scratching wrong objects, litterbox mistakes. Approaches are different because cats personalities are different, what works for one cat doesn't work for another.

I was lucky to have two considerate and reasonable cats, one after another, purebred mixes (one Isle-of-Man and another Ragdoll). What worked for them, although not recommended, when I woke up at 3 AM, I feed the cat and go to sleep again. Sctatching posts, as substitute for carpet clawing, were consistently ignored, but wrapping corner of the chair (one cat liked to claw) with carper remnant worked well, and another one prefers to claw carton with litter mix. No problems with litterbox, as long as there are 4" of litter mix and box is cleaned 2x daily. Worst case was at the beginning, hairball vomiting on white carpering, so we eventually removed carpeting in favor of hardwood floor.

Recently I got a plain brown tabby, young and energetic, likely outdoor cat in the past, with completely different set of problems that I have to learn to deal with: freedom fighter, takes no restriction, climbing, scratching doors, vocalizing at night, running fast with scratching sounds at the night, digging in litter box so hard, that litter flows averywhere around.

The information his forum immencely helped: redirect aggression from person to toys, 2-sided sticky tape on the door, wear him out before night by playing with him with fishing rod with feathers attached, made safe high observation post (from regrouped furniture for now , available cat trees are way too small), piece of carper remnant ($3) attached to the chair he wants to claw, Felliway diffuser and spray, feeding at 3 AM again, leaving nightlight on after that. Not implemented yet a high-walled open litter box made from large translucent tote box, with hole for entry, where he can dig as much as he wants with no harm to the surroundings.

Welcome to daily routine of being a pet parent . From my previous experience, you are in better position than I am now, because your cat is half-Persian, some selection of calmer traits was made for it.

It sounds to me like you're anxious, you don't want to mess up raising your cat and you're concerned about what to do. This is a good thing I believe and it sounds to me like you're on the road to having a happy contented kitty.

Being a new cat owner can be overwhelming, particularly for a first-timer. Here is a section of this site that should help you.

www.thecatsite.com/atype/43/Cat_Behavior

I am just directing you to the behavior section of the articles, but you should use the Articles section as an owner's manual for your cat.

Keep on asking questions you have, and will get advice from many members.

Please don't take her back to the foster home. She would be under more stress, having a forever home and then having it taken away.

Step back, take a couple of deep breaths, read some of the articles, and tell yourself you and Callie need each other. As she gets more relaxed and comfortable in your home, you will find that YOUR stress level will go down drastically.

1) please try to find your peace. be calm and exude positive energy. if you are anxious and stressed, guess what, your cat will be too. cats are super perceptive and mimic the energy that we put out. so please try to LITERALLY clam down and think happy thoughts. just that alone you will find that your cats behavior has improved quite a bit!

2) give your kitty some more time. 4 days is not enough for her to be acclimated to new surroundings. some cats could take days, weeks, or even months. I will draw from my own experience. my male cat Charlie, adopted from a shelter, took 1-2 days to acclimate. Literally. the first day i brought him home he was out and about and playing and exploring. he only kid for maybe 2 hours, and then he made his presence known to the whole house!. my female kitty Jet, took about 4 months to acclimate, and STILL has a long way to go. but please understand your kitty, and try to be patient with her. I'm glad to hear that she is acclimating well to her surroundings, and is interacting with other people, instead of constantly hiding all the time. that's a very good sign

3) please invest in some scratching posts, vertical kinds AND horizontal kinds. I have both types right in my bedroom for my cats. let kitty know that her scratching up the carpet is NOT acceptable. tell her firmly "NO" and show her the carpet and say "NO". then, take her and put her on the scratching post. act out scratching on the post, or take kitties paw if she lets you, and scratch her paw on the post while praising her. she will learn quickly! trust me. put some cat nip and cat treats on the posts to attract kitty to it. i have long, floor length drapes in my bedroom, and other areas in the home, and my cats have NEVER touched it. you have to start young and as soon as possible! haha

4) please give your kitty intense play sessions! twice a day, preferably before her meals. tire her out with a laser pointer, or one of those wand toys with the string and toy at the end. those are perfect. do a good 15-20 mins, or until kitty is tired and gasping for breath or on the floor on her side. then feed her some yummy wet food and as she eats, pet her and praise her. here are the benefits that you will see with doing this:

            a) petting kitty while she eats and praising her will help to create a bond between you and kitty. over the span of days or may be weeks, you will see 

                her behavior towards you is different and more loving. i still do this with both of my cats. it has helped my skittish cat Jet trust me.

            b) playing with kitty will ensure that you are catering to her high energy levels, and that you are tiring her out. She needs interactive toys, so she can

                play and bond with you. If kitty is catered to, then kitty will not get bored and destroy your furniture, your curtains, or other things.

            c) playing and feeding right before bed will ensure that your kitty will not bother you at night! she will be TOO TIRED to be up and running around. it

                takes time for kitties to adjust to this schedule, but it works. i can not stress enough how important tiring your cat out before bed and feeding is!

**if you want to help kitty acclimate better to her new home, you might want to try investing in some cat treats! I don't personally think you need them, however, i used them on my former stray kitty Jet, and it has helped her a lot. It's something to consider.

People say cats are easier to take care of then dogs and require less attention. I think, that is true to a certain extent. Yes, cats are more independent, and they will not bother you constantly for time and attention. Yes you don't have to take them out for walks as they can use their litter box, and are perfectly fine being indoors all the time, in fact, you should make sure your kitty stays an in indoor cat. However, caring for another living thing other than yourself, is a huge responsibility, and the reward you get is priceless and immeasurable compared to anything else. Having an animal companion enriches your life and just makes it better whether your animal is a cat, a dog, a bird, a hamster, etc. seriously think, and see if taking care of a pet is truly for you at this point and time in your life. If you feel you are unable to do a good job, then maybe returning her so that she can have a better life might be the best option for your girl. These are some things you'll have to mull over and see how you want to go forward..

good luck.

chungdoo said:

 
Hey guys!

 I'm new to this site. I found it a couple of days ago and I thought it would be the perfect place to ask for advise. 

About 4 days ago, I brought home Callie, a beautiful half persian/domestic short hair mix who I believed would be an excellent companion when my mom and sister were out of the house and for when I would move out to go to graduate school (in about a year). After doing my research and visiting Callie at the foster mom's house, I decided to adopt her. I was very excited and confident in my decision until the night before I went to go pick her up. From then on, I've been pretty nervous/stressed. Callie has been adjusting to the new home slowly, and sometimes I am left feeling overwhelmed. She is my first cat (first pet ever actually), and while my sister is helping out with playing and cleaning, I can't help but continue to feel stressed. I feel like reading the few cat training and maintenance books that I had purchased before deciding to buy her have not really prepared me for what life would be like after bringing me home, and I've had trouble getting used to the late night escapades and carpet clawing. It hasn't been all bad though. Callie is warming up nicely to my family, and (despite her first accident today) has been excellent in regards to the litter box. I don't know if I'm just nervous because I've never experienced this before, or if it is a sign that I am just not ready for a pet. I still have a few days to decide, but I just don't know what to do. Should I consider taking her back to foster care? I really don't want to do that to her, especially after she has just started getting used to us, but I just feel so overwhelmed at times.  

Any advice experienced cat owners could give me would be greatly appreciated! 

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What you are feeling is totally normal and nothing to be alarmed about.  The stress/ nervousness is also part of the "excitement" you are feeling in having a new cat.  I have had cats from childhood, and still get nervous if a new one is introduced.  I always worry about "what will he be like?"...."will I be able to be a good owner?"...."what if he starts pooping everywhere?"....lol....These worries just waste my energy....and then I realize that I have to take it day by day....just meet the problem as it presents itself.

The only thing I noticed about what you said in your post which may be difficult later on, is the part of going to graduate school.  (in about a year).   Will you be leaving your cat home with your mom and sister, then?  Or do you plan on taking Callie with you?

The only reason I ask is because some people I knew before, would get a cat,  and then when their life circumstances changed....eg moving to new apartment....they ended up abandoning cat at shelter....this would be cruel, in my mind....since the bond has already been made between owner and cat.  Far better to decide like @Lamiatron   said,  in deciding now, if you are ready and willing to dedicate time, money for vet bills, and "Love" to your Callie.  very hard decision.  I wish you well.

Thanks for all the advice! Today was a much better day, although she hasn't peed in the litter box yet today (she hasn't peed on the carpet though either so I'm waiting to see). I've been keeping her in one of the rooms so that she could get acclimatized. I've left her in there for today as well, as the accident that occurred last night happened when we had let her explore the house for an extended period of time. My main concern is that I'm not sure if I am ready for a pet. I'm not sure if it's the nervousness talking, or an actual reason. I am pretty busy with school and work, but my sister is also there to help out. I do plan on taking her with me when I leave for graduate school though.  

chungdoo said:

 
Thanks for all the advice! Today was a much better day, although she hasn't peed in the litter box yet today (she hasn't peed on the carpet though either so I'm waiting to see). I've been keeping her in one of the rooms so that she could get acclimatized. I've left her in there for today as well, as the accident that occurred last night happened when we had let her explore the house for an extended period of time. My main concern is that I'm not sure if I am ready for a pet. I'm not sure if it's the nervousness talking, or an actual reason. I am pretty busy with school and work, but my sister is also there to help out. I do plan on taking her with me when I leave for graduate school though.  

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@chungdoo    You know I believe you are already a cat owner, and a very caring one, because if you did not care, you would never have even joined a site, and posted a question to get some answers...lol.  The only thing now, is that you have to Believe it.  What @catspaw66   posted, as to the link to the Behaviour Articles will give you loads of information to more questions you may have.

And @Lamiatron  's post about spending intense play time with your kitten is so valuable to wear off her excess energy.

When I had a kitten, we had moments we called..."hurricane alley"...because the kitten would wake up, stretch, go eat  and then after some self grooming...washing...would always manage to find "trouble".  He would see something and race as fast as possible , up the couch, down the other side, do a circuit around the room, and end up on some side table somewhere, where I would have to pick him up, so he would not start playing with my lamp shade, or else start chewing on my cords.

After playing with him, using either dollar store toys, or long pieces of flat fabric belts, tied together as a rope. or ping pong balls.....I would have to bring him to his litterbox, and sometimes he would go and sometimes not.

After every meal, he was placed in his litter box and before going to sleep, too.

The places your cat has peed have to be cleaned with an enzymatic, cleaner, to remove all traces of urine, or she will go again near that same spot (another member mentioned this in another post).

Also, let me ask you 3 questions:  1.  can you set aside time before or after work and school, to spend with Callie?

2.  Do you clean out her litterbox daily?  and where is the litter box located?

3.  Does she sleep in your room or somewhere, else?

oh, and are you enjoying any of this crazy kitten time, because it does get easier, or are you waking up everyday, and just wishing you were someplace else?

for me, you already are a cat owner,....and one who cares, too..

For an enzymatic cleaner, I prefer this: www.amazon.com/Natures-Miracle-Destroyer-Formula-32-Ounce/dp/B003I5QRJ2 .   You can get it at other places, like Petsmart or Petco, and several places online. I just wanted you to see the bottle. They make so many products, it is hard to tell some of them apart. Buy a cheap spray bottle, fill it from the quart, and it should last you a looooong time.