My cat bites me when I pet him, but he doesn't seem agitated.

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Hi there,

I am new here and have a concern about my cat. I adopted Tucker about a month and a half ago. He is a neutered 2-year-old (the shelter’s estimate, the vet I took him to said he might be younger). When I first got him, he was very affectionate and almost never bit unless he was playing, in which case I always yelled loudly and stopped playing with him. I don’t encourage him to play with my hands or anything, because I didn’t want a cat who would attack frequently. However, it seems to be happening anyway.

He is still affectionate, but when I pet him now he almost always bites me. It’s not a hard bite, but it’s not the softest bite either.

I don’t think he is overstimulated, because he seeks out the attention and almost immediately after you start petting him is when he bites. He doesn’t seem agitated at all; his body language does not indicate that. It's like it’s just his immediate reaction. I always yell “NO!” and take my hand away. If I don’t immediately leave, he will look at me for a second and then lunge at me and bite harder. He has attacked my head twice in the past few days. He’s never hurt me or even broken the skin, but I am concerned about this behavior.

He is very playful and I try to play with him a lot, but I haven’t been home as much lately so maybe that’s part of the problem. I have been trying blasting him gently with compressed air when he bites over the past few days, and it seems to be helping a little…but I am tired of not wanting to pet him for fear of him biting me. Again, he’s not hurting me, but I don’t want to encourage the behavior.

He is a very loving and engaged cat; he follows me around the apartment, is always curious about visitors, and isn’t frightened by kids. I know he needs attention and affection, so I don’t want to withhold it from him, but this is getting a bit ridiculous. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Hmmm that certainly sounds annoying. Does he roll over and grab your hand? Or does he swat at you? Where are you petting him in the body? Is it possible that he does not like to get petted on a certain spot or in a certain way?

You could be also right about him wanting to play more. Have you considered adopting a friend for him to play with?

This is a change in behaviour from what you say and that makes me feel a little unsettled.   Are there any other changes in his behaviour or movements?  Is he still very playful?

I wonder whether something has frightened him, or he has developed some kind of health issue which might mean touch is painful for him. Although vet visits are stressful for cats I suggest you do take him along for a thorough check up.

Can you try to touch him on different areas to see if that makes any difference to his reactions, and given his current reaction is one of biting I suggest you try touching him gently with something like a wand toy rather than your hand.  See if you get the same biting reaction touching him with an object rather than your hand, and on different parts like his head, hind quarters, back etc.  Try to do this when he is looking relaxed, and observe his body language and general communication closely for any clues.

I hope he is well, that perhaps he has had something stressing him and he can be desensitized to touch again to a point he enjoys your contact. This must be a very difficult change to cope with.

Thank you for your response! When I took him for his checkup about a week after I got him, the vet said he was in perfect health. I am planning to call and get him another appointment just to make sure, but I don't think it's a health issue. Nothing else has changed--i.e. eating, bowel movements, etc. The only other thing that has changed is he doesn't roam around whining like he did when I first got him. I think he was an outdoor/stray cat, and he REALLY wanted to go outside, but the shelter I got him from makes you sign a contract to keep them indoors (although since I live in a big apartment complex, I would likely keep him indoors anyway).

It doesn't seem to make a difference where I pet him--whether it's his head or his back or his side, he bites. He does not give me any indication that he is upset; the biting is more like a gnawing, at least at first. I really don't think it's aggression. I will definitely heed your suggestions! I have considered getting another cat, but I live with a roommate and don't know how he would feel about another cat. Tucker is really a great cat, but this is definitely giving me some negative feelings toward him and I don't like that at all.

My friend has a cat that is a bit crazy. She is very overstimulatable...she loves to play and gets very excited. Then you're just sitting there with the wand toy...she comes over, rubs on my arm, then suddenly bites or scratches me, sometimes hissing. I had not moved a muscle. The owner said she is a bit off in the head and I believe her. Doesn't mean your kitty is, but it does happen.

I would definitely check with your vet to make sure there is not thing going on medically. Try playing with him twice as long with higher intensity to see if that helps with the attacks. If it's him having too much energy, it might make a difference. Having another cat helps in that aspect, but I understand the living situation. However, in my experience, two cats is easier than one to take care of in some aspects. It does add to the cost though.

Some cats get over stimulated quickly and will not tolerate any more. Look for dilating pupils and a swishing tail. My Chrissy would take a few strokes and then would bite if you continued. It didn't happen every time, I just watched for the swishing, thumping tail. If I yelled at her or threatened her, she would lunge at me too, so I just walked away after telling her 'NO!". If he is stressed about something in the house or even outside, it would cause him to be nervous and bite too. You may want to try some 'calming treats' found on Amazon, they may help.

  You've only had him a month and a half, so he may definitely still be scared and nervous, give him time to relax. Another cat would maybe give YOU some quality cat time if you find a cuddler, and would maybe take his mind off his troubles, but it's hard to say. Good luck and keep us posted!

Thank you, Di and Bob! The thing is, when he bites, there is no body language that tells me he's upset. He doesn't seem upset; honestly, he seems confused as to why I stopped petting him! It seems sort of like a "love bite" mixed with aggressive play. He is also still a cuddler; he sleeps with me every night. My sister and her kids just moved here from another state after her divorce, and I have spent a lot of time with them, so he may be feeling a bit neglected...this is just not a way I would have expected it to manifest.

One thing I didn't notice in your first post was your mention that you yell at him and the pull your hand away.  

Has he bitten you hard and hurt you before you took your hand away?  If not try the following:

Remain very still and calm, say 'ouch' firmly but not shouting at him, and very lightly push in towards his bite then freeze.  This feels very unnatural but is a confident, non-aggressive move like a mother cat would make. Remain still and calm, do not talk unless it is in a slow, calm voice.  Only remove his jaws from you in a slow manner if he is breaking your skin / causing physical harm.  Wait until he gives in or gets bored and then slowly move away a little, you can hold your hand or arm close to him to rub up to if he is not excited and looking to bite you again.  If he repeats the biting do the same again.  If he seems like he wants to play you can move an arm slowly and smoothly to pick up a toy to redirect his bite but avoid all fast movements.  Fast movements and movements pulling away from your cat are seen as aggressive or innitiating play, so if you have been petting he will be very confused as to why you do this suddenly.  Likewise if playing and you do it he will think play has turned to you being aggressive and again the biting escalates.

I am also sharing a link on aggression from the site with you.  What you are describing sounds more like the excitement and confusion rather than other types of aggression from what you have described so far.  

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/cat-aggression-toward-people

Thanks so much for your replies. I think I might take a video of what he does because I don't know how to explain it other than to say there seems to be no aggression, it seems almost like a reflex.... It's almost like he thinks that's just what he's supposed to do when you pet him! He is a very friendly cat who loves attention and doesn't even mind being held, which I've met very few cats who didn't mind that.

What I am trying to say in my last post it that I think he is reacting to you pulling away as a play trigger - I think you go in to pet, he feels excited and turns round and lightly bites you as a reaction and when you pull away he things oh you weren't petting you were playing and then the biting and play behaviour kicks in and you are both confused by it.  If you try what I suggest - pushing in very lightly towards him and then freezing a few times see what happens.  Cats will bite sometimes when shown affection and they are excited but can learn that humans don't like it.

By all means post a video, it would be interesting and I could be very wrong in what I am thinking so far.

Oh, I don't think you are wrong. I think I misunderstood, but I will definitely try what you recommend! I think my boyfriend said he does something similar.

I know exactly the behavior you are talking about and I'm going through it with a pair of 1 year olds right now.  They are calm...they are purring, but it's like they just cannot resist reaching out and giving you a bite?  At first I thought it was because they were demanding a two handed petting, but even with two hands petting them they still seem to just want to reach out and nibble on your arm, or your hand?  It's the strangest thing I've ever seen, but it has to be some kind of semi-normal behavior if it's happening in more than one cat.  Eventually I can just get them to sit in my lap and purr while I don't pet them, but it takes a while.  I think that they are simply "love bites".  These two have grown up with a lot of other cats, but spent a lot of time with just the two of themselves when they were kittens due to illness.  I think they may have developed a sort  of kitty "Love language" that they are trying to get me to accept.  I imagine that we'll reach a middle ground somewhere, but it's going to take patience.