Stella

Stella was a little kitty found in the rain and cold. She was not weened properly but we took her and cared for her.

She was sick all the time the first 4 months of her life and I carried her around in my hoodie against my chest to keep her warm. She was always on antibiotics and never seemed to get well.

Finally at 5 months old she grew some and gained weight. She played and had so much fun in the house, but every month or so she would get sick.

I finally realized she probably had FeLV, the vet confirmed. We knew she wouldn't live long because she never grew any bigger and always had issues from asthma to terrible colds.

The poor girl was my sunshine I loved her and she always greeted me when I came home. 

4 months ago the FeLV finally manifested and she began to decline, she got anemia and would have URI regularly but over all was still eating playing and happy.

The vet said we could keep treating her an hope for a remission. She never did gain weight again and on Tuesday she had a slight seizure in the morning her breathing was bad. I rushed her to the vet as I thought she was going to die right then. He treated her and said she may have to come back to be put to sleep. I wanted to be sure, she was definitely down and not well.

That night at home she slept in her normal spot but then got up and called out to me, I ran to her and with a bit of final struggle she let go. My poor girl is gone but I am glad I was there with her to hold her as she went.

My heart broke and I wept and wept. 

Yesterday I created a nice burial plot for her and will plat a rose bush there soon. She is on a sunny hill over looking the yard and my garden and I can see her from my bedroom window for comfort.

I will miss her but she fought so hard all her life and had so much fun while she was here I feel it is better she went now- quick and happy then to waste away with the FeLV. Her little body had enough, she taught me to love and smile again after losing a loved one and I will always treasure her for that and the love she shared with me.

I miss you my Stelly Belly.

I am so sorry.  She was a beautiful little girl.  Even though she had a short difficult love you gave her the chance to be in a warm home where she was well fed.  You also gave her the chance to know what it is to be loved and to belong even though it was only for a very short time.

Thank you!

HUGS it is still hard to believe she is gone.

Ohh, she was beautiful!   I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my 16 year old cat, Miles, just over a week ago -- so I know the feeling of loss you are experiencing.  In fact, posted a thread on this forum about him. 

I'm slowly getting better.. better enough to support others who have gone through this horrible feeling.    Try to remember the good times you shared with her.  My thoughts are with you!

Oh no 16 years I am so sorry that is truly a family member. Thank you for your kind words, she was my baby girl. I have a couple of other cats that have been helping me cope .

I lost a 17 year old cat years ago and it got better over time, but I miss him dearly.

This forum has been a godsend as well as all you other cat lovers out there, I don't think I could cope alone.

I hope Stella and Miles are having fun together in the happy kitty afterlife.

HUGS

My condolences. It sounds as if little Stella made the most of the short time that was allotted to her. RIP, little one, you left your mark on your mom's heart.

Thank you JCat -  she was so funny and bubbly like a little ShirleyTemple.

I will miss her joy of just being a cat.

The Happy Girl.

   What a precious girl she was!  A rose will be a very fitting tribute!! I am sorry that your time together was so short - you two were very brave in facing that terrible, terrible disease.  Your victories were many and I thank Heaven that you were there to give her the love & care that she needed.  She was safely passed from your arms to the angels', there at the end; Godspeed little Stella

catsknowme said:

 

   What a precious girl she was!  A rose will be a very fitting tribute!! I am sorry that your time together was so short - you two were very brave in facing that terrible, terrible disease.  Your victories were many and I thank Heaven that you were there to give her the love & care that she needed.  She was safely passed from your arms to the angels', there at the end; Godspeed little Stella

Click to expand...

Thank you so much!

I went out yesterday and cleared some ground around her burial and added some more decorative stones in preparation for planting the rose bush, it is a little cold today but I went out and had morning coffee in the quiet with her. It is too empty in the kitchen in the mornings without her, so I find it comforting to go have coffee by her grave.

Thanks for your kind words, they really mean and help a lot!

Alisa Brown said:

stella1.jpg

• alisa brown
• Mar 21, 2014

stella2.jpg

• alisa brown
• Mar 21, 2014

The Happy Girl.

Click to expand...

She was truly a little darling. Stella knew she was loved. Rest in peace little girl. And many hugs for you in the loss of your little girl. You were good for each other.. :nod:

Thank you she was my baby darling.

Hugs back.

RIP little Stella.  I'm glad she knew a warm and loving home.

peaches08 said:

 
RIP little Stella.  I'm glad she knew a warm and loving home.

Click to expand...

Thank you-words like yours help me get through each day!

She was a precious little soul. Bless you for taking her in and showing her what love is, there is a place in heaven for people like you, that go above and beyond! She took a big part of your heart when she left, it will take a long time to heal. The day will come when your heart will heal enough to let another little soul in, it would honor your Stella to do so and she would smile down at you from the Rainbow Bridge. Thank you for sharing her story with us, she needs to be honored and remembered. Time is all you have to lessen the pain, someday you will remember her with smiles instead of tears. I'm so glad you were with her at her passing, I'm sure it was a great comfort to her, even though it broke your heart to let her go. Please know we will share your pain, I'll keep you both in my prayers. RIP beautiful Stella!

Di and Bob said:

 
She was a precious little soul. Bless you for taking her in and showing her what love is, there is a place in heaven for people like you, that go above and beyond! She took a big part of your heart when she left, it will take a long time to heal. The day will come when your heart will heal enough to let another little soul in, it would honor your Stella to do so and she would smile down at you from the Rainbow Bridge. Thank you for sharing her story with us, she needs to be honored and remembered. Time is all you have to lessen the pain, someday you will remember her with smiles instead of tears. I'm so glad you were with her at her passing, I'm sure it was a great comfort to her, even though it broke your heart to let her go. Please know we will share your pain, I'll keep you both in my prayers. RIP beautiful Stella!

Click to expand...

Thank you so much she was precious and tried not to get attached to her because I knew being FeLV positive she wouldn't have a long life and it would break my heart but she wormed her way in and made me smile every day.

She loved to ride on my shoulders and I will miss that too. But I am glad I had her and you are right I am glad I could be there to comfort her in the end.

HUGS

Beautiful Stella  

My4LLMA said:

Beautiful Stella

 

Click to expand...

Thank you so much! She was my princess, I just came back in from having my morning coffee at her grave.

HUGS

Alisa, I finally had a chance to read your Stella's story. And, unfortunately, I know al about FeLV as I guess you know from reading my comment about precious Murray on the 'How do you accept' Thread.

I am so sorry for your loss. Carrying her around in your hoodie, reminds me so much of when tiny Murray lived his first weeks with us in my sports bra to keep him warm. It often amazed me how while some couldn't care less about something, starving, unprotected ... a tiny baby, alone in the world, there are others what will move mountains to save them. Invariably, some of those rescues are heart shattering. But, if people like us weren't out there, imagine the alternative. You are one of a handful of chosen people on this earth to that cares for these magical creatures who are often neglected and kicked to the curb because it's not everyone who understands these amazing beings. I doubt that will ever change ... and I guess that's why the ones who can help, often have too many to count.

Bless you for saving that angel. You gave her a beautiful life and, when she passed, that's all she knew. Even if a part of her little memory remembers being lost and abandoned, what she knew when her weak body couldn't hang on an longer was that her mommy was with her and that her mommy loved her more than anything. She passed with the dignity and love that you gave her and, for that, you're a saint.

God bless you for what you did for her. And, I'm always here if you need a shoulder.

All my best,

Lauren.

smouse said:

 
Alisa, I finally had a chance to read your Stella's story. And, unfortunately, I know al about FeLV as I guess you know from reading my comment about precious Murray on the 'How do you accept' Thread.

I am so sorry for your loss. Carrying her around in your hoodie, reminds me so much of when tiny Murray lived his first weeks with us in my sports bra to keep him warm. It often amazed me how while some couldn't care less about something, starving, unprotected ... a tiny baby, alone in the world, there are others what will move mountains to save them. Invariably, some of those rescues are heart shattering. But, if people like us weren't out there, imagine the alternative. You are one of a handful of chosen people on this earth to that cares for these magical creatures who are often neglected and kicked to the curb because it's not everyone who understands these amazing beings. I doubt that will ever change ... and I guess that's why the ones who can help, often have too many to count.

Bless you for saving that angel. You gave her a beautiful life and, when she passed, that's all she knew. Even if a part of her little memory remembers being lost and abandoned, what she knew when her weak body couldn't hang on an longer was that her mommy was with her and that her mommy loved her more than anything. She passed with the dignity and love that you gave her and, for that, you're a saint.

God bless you for what you did for her. And, I'm always here if you need a shoulder.

All my best,

Lauren.

Click to expand...

Lauren, 

Thank you. Your words comfort me more than you know. I so appreciate it because my husband is out of town until may and it is hard without her and him here, it makes her loss more pronounced because she kept me company while he is on business. It was very hard to lose her here alone. 

I am so glad you reached out to me because I feel so alone sometimes and it is good to know there are other people like me out there.

I did read about Murray and was very touched by your love. Thank you for sharing with all of us. I know for me it really helps.

HUGS