How do you deal with siblings missing friend?

My little guy Cocoa passed away January 6, 2014. He was 1 year old and full of energy. He has two sisters, Holly who is 4 and Mandie is 14. While his sisters tended to be aggravated when he pounced on them or interrupted their sleep they also enjoyed playing with him. I have a da Bird toy he LOVED. When I'd try to play with Holly with it he'd jump at it. I sometimes play with her now with that toy. Or what's left of it. We play in the hallway. Holly still looks at the stairs to see if he's coming. Tonight she went to the top of the stairs and looked for him. Also, I have two soft sided cube beds for them. Before Cocoa came Mandie never went into them. When Cocoa came he used them. Now Mandie uses them since Cocoa passed. This all breaks my heart to see them like this. How do you deal with siblings who miss their brother & friend? I hug them and cuddle with them more but it doesn't seem to help their missing moments.

i'm so sorry for your loss.

snick (my little girl cat, though she's 13 years old) and i lost our mickey, snick's brother/litter mate, a year ago from this april. they never snuggled together after they got to be 6 months old and on, but i knew how much they loved each other. snick took losing her brother very, very hard. she has IBD, and had the worst flare-up she's ever had -- in fact, at one point i thought i was going to lose snick too. our vet and i got snick through that flare-up. snick and i grieved the loss of our mickey together, and we're much more closely bonded to each other as a result.

everyone works through their grief differently, and i think that's true with cats too. i think the best thing you can do is to keep to your cats normal routine and when you see them looking for cocoa or looking like they're missing him, give them some hugs and cuddles (like you've been doing) and tell them you understand and that it's okay/it's going to be okay. it's going to take time, for you, holly, and mandie to work through your grief.

in my snick's case, for several months it was very upsetting to her for me to even mention mickey's name. it was very hard on me for a while, because i felt i couldn't show my grief in front of snick -- i feared she'd have another bad flare-up. with time, we both worked through our grief in our own ways. snick and i also developed some new routines, just for the two of us.

Thank you. A new routine is a good idea. His death was so quick. It's such a shock right now. I still can't believe he's gone.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Cocoa, it's truly the hardest on those left behind that loved him. Only time will help all of you to heal, animals need extra comfort at a time like this, just like you do. Time will help lessen the pain, but sometimes it can come crashing back ,like a tidal wave. It can hurt so bad it takes your breathe away. Please know we're here to offer what comfort we can, we do understand the pain you are going through.

   Cats are creatures of habit, and when their routines are messed up, like their 'brother' missing, it takes a while to establish another routine. Let them know you love them, and let them comfort you as you comfort them. Give them a kiss for me, I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Thank you. I'll give them your love.

Di and Bob said:

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your Cocoa, it's truly the hardest on those left behind that loved him. Only time will help all of you to heal, animals need extra comfort at a time like this, just like you do. Time will help lessen the pain, but sometimes it can come crashing back ,like a tidal wave. It can hurt so bad it takes your breathe away. Please know we're here to offer what comfort we can, we do understand the pain you are going through.

   Cats are creatures of habit, and when their routines are messed up, like their 'brother' missing, it takes a while to establish another routine. Let them know you love them, and let them comfort you as you comfort them. Give them a kiss for me, I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Click to expand...

Cocoa used to like to go into the basement. Since there's too much for him to get into that could hurt him I had to go down with him. When he was sick I knew he wouldn't make it. I took him to the basement one last time for a "field trip". I held him though, didn't put him down. His little head just kind of moved some like he knew where he was. When I went to the basement this afternoon I got hit with that tidal wave of pain. I miss that little angel so much.

Holly has been doing a lot of loud meowing lately. Usually it's just before she starts playing or running around by herself but in the past few days it hasn't been like that. We have cuddle times but it doesn't help

Aww I love your photos.One of my cats lost his brother and he went room to room for weeks calling for him. It broke my heart. I just gave him lots of extra love and attention.

They grieve too and need comfort.

I am sorry for your loss.

Alisa Brown said:

Aww I love your photos.One of my cats lost his brother and he went room to room for weeks calling for him. It broke my heart. I just gave him lots of extra love and attention.

They grieve too and need comfort.

I am sorry for your loss.

Click to expand...

It's odd. She missed him at play time but didn't cry for him until a few days ago.

Sometimes it takes a few days for them to really realize they are gone.

Alisa Brown said:

Sometimes it takes a few days for them to really realize they are gone.

Click to expand...

It's been over 2 months. She missed him when she and I played. Now in the past few days she sits and cries.

That is so sad I am sorry. I wish I could hug her.

Beautiful Cocoa