Need help with a feral cat (long post, sorry)

Hi. My husband and I have been living together since August of 2012. We have 3 cats: Eli and TJ are brothers, Siamese mixes. Chris found them at a shelter when he lived in Maine when they were almost 2. Charlee is a female ... cat. I found her cowering in a puddle under a bush during a Florida thunderstorm when she was about 6 or 7 weeks old. I stuck a fluffy towel in a cat carrier and got her in there to dry, and it took 4 days for her to decide I wasn't going to eat her. By the time Chris and I moved in together, Eli and TJ were 4, and Charlee was 2. All three cats have been altered (spay/neuter only; neither of us believes in declawing).

We moved all 3 cats into the house at the same time, so there wouldn't be any previously staked territory to defend. They explored for the first few hours, and found their initial favorite spots. After a few days (maybe a week at most) Charlee started freaking out. Spitting, hissing, defecating, screaming ... and this was when nothing was going on. His boys handled it very patiently; she'd start in, and they'd look at her like she was just being childish, then they'd put their head down and go back to sleep. We tried everything we could think of to stop this behavior; from introducing a spray bottle of water to hissing at her anytime she started acting up to scruffing her and tossing her in a cat carrier for a "time out."

After a couple months of this, she got braver, and started attacking the boys. Understand that she is only half their size. TJ gave her one chance. She jumped on him; he started, snaked out from under her, and went about 2-3 feet away, then just sat and watched her. He looked like he was trying to decide whether she wanted to fight or play. The second time she jumped on him, he flipped her, sat on her back, batted her ears for a minute, and then walked away. He didn't use any claws, and no blood was drawn. She didn't go after him again. Eli put up with her jumping on him and taunting him and screaming at him for close to 5 or 6 months. Once he'd had enough, there was no turning back. She snuck up behind him and batted at his heels one night, and he turned around, swatted her 4 times, then turned back around and continued walking ... this took only 1 second, and he didn't miss a beat in his step. She was left sitting under the table, looking like she had no idea what had just happened. She then screamed, defecated on the floor, and ran behind the couch (he was a good 2 feet away by this time, and still moving away from her).

Since then, any time she'd back herself into a corner, Eli would walk towards her, as if he was just daring her to do something. She'd scream and defecate, then streak into another hiding spot. Eli would then wind around one of our legs to get our attention, then walk to where she'd just been, and start scratching the floor as if he were covering her pile. It looked very much like "OOOOO, look what SHE did!" It took us almost a month to realize he was antagonizing her like this.

We finally got tired of hearing her all night long, and put her outside. Since I originally found her, she seemed terrified of the outdoors, and we figured that we could safely put her on the screened-in porch, and let everyone reset before bringing her back in. We were trying desperately to find another way to introduce her without getting the same results. She started trying to dart out the porch door anytime we opened it, and we decided that this might be a good opportunity, so we put a halter and leash on her, and let her outside. She walked around the house, exploring every corner of the yard, and seemed to be in heaven. However, when she got close to the porch again, she refused to go in. When we picked her up and brought her onto the porch, she started one of her normal fits. After a couple of weeks, we gave up and let her outside.

It has been about 8 months since we let her go outside on her own, and she hasn't had a problem since. She stays in the yard, bounds around like a gazelle when you pull in the driveway, and runs to greet you after you've parked and turned the engine off (she doesn't seem to like the car, but that's not a bad thing). She'll walk you to the porch, and will come onto the porch if she needs food (that's where we keep the food so we don't inadvertently feed the neighborhood strays). She gets along with the neighborhood strays for the most part; there's only a couple of them that she doesn't like, and she'll scream at them anytime they start towards the yard. She attacks them if she catches them in the yard, but it only took 2 or 3 cat fights before they stopped coming through the yard. About 75% of the neighborhood cats are allowed in the yard, and Charlee will even play with them, but she still wants nothing to do with TJ or Eli unless they're on the opposite side of a barrier, be it a window or the screen door. This is fine for now; we have a "guard cat" in the yard, and two house cats in the house. When it's cool enough, Charlee stays in the yard, TJ and Eli go out onto the porch, and all three of them seem to get along.

Chris and I are going to be moving from Florida to Vermont in the next few months. We are going to try again to introduce all three cats to living together, and see if it works. If not, our only backup plan is for Charlee to live in the 3 car garage at the house we're buying (heated, of course). However, considering how much she seems to enjoy being outside, we'll have to come up with something more long-term. Chris' aunt lived in the house for awhile, and she had lots of cats, who came and went as they pleased, like Charlee does. She lost one to a vehicle, and the rest to nature .... foxes, coyotes, fishers, etc. I don't want to take a cat who is happiest outside and never allow her out again, but I don't want her to be eaten or freeze to death (I'm sure she won't realize just how cold the snow is). We will be strapped for cash for a little while, so an outdoor enclosure is out of the question until we get some cash together. Does anyone have any ideas that can help us get all three cats living together? They don't have to snuggle with each other and be best buddies, but we want them to at least agree to share space without freaking out.

First of all thank you for sticking with Charlee and working so hard for a solution.  It is a tricky situation.  I know first hand the turmoil of having cats not get along causes in a household.  I brought a stray/feral into the house last year and it caused so much upheaval with my other indoor cat.  It is still a work in progress, but much much better. 

Since you will be moving again, it will be the perfect time for reintroductions.  The introductions should take place between Charlee and the other two cats, but I would do each male separately.  Here is a link to cat to cat introductions http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats  I would put Charlee in a room of her own.  Make sure the room is cat proof.  Give her a  nice window with a cat tree if possible.  Set up her litter box in there and a place for her to eat/drink.  Have lots of cozy spots.  The two boys should not be allowed in this room.  I would give her a few days to settle into the room before beginning introductions.  Just be sure you spend time with her.  Play with her and assure her.  After a few days, start the introductions.  My suggestion is to take them very very slowly.  I made the mistake of rushing the process and it back fired on me.  Yours might take longer since you have two cats to reintroduce to her. 

Get a few feliway diffusers.  This will help all the cats.  Feliway spray might help too as you can spot treat problem areas.  I would also start all 3 cats on Composure calming treats.  I actually prefer the Composure liquid max that goes in their wet food.  It works quicker and a bit longer, but it's more expensive.  This will help all of the cats to feel more calm.  You might start giving it to all 3 when you start packing.  Continue giving it 2x a day for 4-6 weeks after the move.  If you use the treats, each cat may need 3 treats 2x a day.  If you use the liquid, you would need 1/4-1/2t. 2x a day. 

Vermont winters can be very cold and snowy.  Charlee might do ok during some of the winter, but she will definitely need a warmer place.  I would desperately try to keep her inside if at all possible. 

Take a look at Jackson Galaxy's site.  He is on a show on the Animal Planet Channel and has a popular program called "My Cat From Hell"  He has great ideas and suggestions for cats that don't get along.  One of his big suggestions is lots of vertical space.  Cat trees and tall shelving for cats to travel upward.  If you look at the site you will see lots of ideas.  He also suggest lots of play time.  Cats are better behaved when they are played with until exhausted and then rewarded with a great meal. 

I hope you keep plugging along with Charlee and give it a chance when you move again.  It will take work, but you might be able to get them coexisting.  Just be sure to follow the ideas, move slowly and work with the two boys individually.

Is she fixed? Also try to keep her in a separate bed room if you can and slowly start all over introducing the cats until they get along.

Yes, she's been spayed, and both the boys have been neutered.

Shadows, thanks for the advice, I'll see if we can find some of the Feliway and the Composure. We currently have only one cat tree, one tall vertical scratching post, and shelving placed up around the screened in porch that all three of them absolutely love. We will be getting more cat shelves as we get the time to put them up ... we've already got a lot of the wood we'll need. I've seen Jackson Galaxy's show, and actually searched for his website before finding this one. For some reason, his page didn't want to load on my computer ... can't figure out what the problem was ... it seems to be loading just fine now, and you can bet I'll be trolling through that tonight.

Based on what I've seen of his show, we seem to have two tree-dwellers and one bush-dweller. For the most part, the boys tend to live on top of the fridge, the china cabinet, the dressers, snuggled down into the towels on the shelves in the bathroom, etc lol. When Charlee was inside, she seemed to prefer under/behind the couch, in a cube (cloth box with a cat-sized hole in the front), under tables, etc. The only time I ever saw her actually climb up anywhere was when she went under the table and jumped onto a chair. Even outside, I've yet to see her climb a tree, jump on top of the cars, anything. The only exception is the shelving on the porch ... she likes the lowest one, and will sit there for hours.

I think we may have made the same mistake you mentioned with the introductions: taking it too fast. I think when we move, I'll see if there's a way to put a grate or something in the bottom of the door to the room she's in so they can see, hear and smell each other without her feeling quite as threatened, and wait until she has absolutely no reaction to them before taking the next step.

Our original introduction was to take all three of them over, and bring them all into the house at the same time. We put them down and let them do what cats do. The boys walked around the edges of the rooms, then worked their way towards the center, investigating everything they came across; they pretty much ignored each other, Charlee, and us. Charlee, however, slunk around the edges of the room, looking like a beaten dog. She was definitely in fight-or-flight mode; ears turned to hear behind her, whiskers back, pupils huge, keeping a low profile, and freezing anytime either of the cats looked in her general direction. She didn't investigate anything. We tried drawing her out with play ... she doesn't really play with anything other than the feather on a stick, and a laser pointer ... unfortunately, Eli prefers the feather, and TJ prefers the laser pointer. She wouldn't really play with anything else, and anytime we brought out a toy she liked, she'd jump after it a time or two, just until one of the boys joined in the fun, and then she'd get scared again. We tried continuing the play with them and waiting for her to come out, but she just sat and watched, panicking anytime they got close to her no matter whether they were looking at her or the toy. The only way I can describe her switch is bi-polar-like; if you've ever known someone who's bi-polar and seen them switch from happy to furious, that's it. There doesn't seem to be any way to predict it other than "She's playing, she's having a great time, Eli's coming into the room, and she's gone."

Outside, however, she is the boss. She doesn't exhibit any of the same behaviors that we see inside. TJ actually got out into the yard last night, after we got home from work, and Charlee chased him back up onto the porch. We were at a loss for words; after having seen her relationship with him inside (and cleaning up after it) for over a year, this switch of roles was hilarious.

I will definitely keep plugging along with Charlee; there is no other option. I know it's weird; she's not a person, and doesn't think like a person, and probably only understands about 15% of the words I say, but I told her something when I got her out of that rainstorm. I promised her that if she'd give me a little bit of trust, I would prove to her that she'd be okay, and I'd do everything in my power to keep her safe and happy for the rest of her life. I know, I know; she's a cat. She doesn't think like a person. She probably only understands about 10-15% of what I say anyway. I still couldn't bring myself to break my promise. She will never be re-homed, turned out so she can "return to the wild" (which I see a LOT down here, for some reason), or taken to a shelter. For me, that is not acceptable unless I can no longer afford to take care of her properly, and she's not that expensive.

Its great to hear that you're sticking with her. I commend you for that. Yes, I do believe animals know what we say especially how we say it. I'd never watched the show, but I learned more through working with my animals better than any book or show could teach me. I sure hope it works out. Also try to feed the cats near under a door close to each other, bring out extra special treats when there is no hissing or growling near the doors.

I used a cheap wooden screen door from Lowes ($20) and attached it to the door frame with cheap tension rods ($4).  I didn't have to deface the door and it provided a way for the cats to safely see and smell each other.  This can be done with the cats are ready for some safe face to face time.  I used a baby gate in the door for extra protection.  I also made sure the visits were supervised.  Here is a picture

Sorry, it's been really hectic trying to get everything pre-packed for the move, lol.

That is a brilliant idea, Shadows! Chris found something else online last night while I was at my second job (the one where I can't use the computer, of course) that I wish I would've known about when we were moving in together. His boys love to go outside and play in the snow during the winter, so I think we'll probably be getting this setup for them when we move (hopefully, Charlee will want to go out and play with them). I went to the site, ready to laugh at a picture of an oscelot that someone couldn't even spell properly, but the joke was on me. It's called http://oscillot.com.au/ ... its an Australian-based company that makes this thing to sit on top of your fence. It looks kind of like the blades on an old-style engineless lawn mower, but it appears to be made of plastic and it's not bladed. The cat jumps to the highest "handhold" spot on the fence, and when they touch this thing to climb up and over, it spins as they move it. They can't get a grip, so they can't get over. I can just see the boys jumping up and discovering that: the outside game would become "how to get that toy off the fence so we can play with it."