Our lovely boy left us yesterday.

      
Hi, everyone.

This is my first post to this site.  I joined because my 16 year-old cat, Miles, died suddenly yesterday and I'm still grasping at ways on how to deal with it.

I got Miles from a local shelter in 1998 at a local Minneapolis animal shelter when he was six weeks old.  I already had a female cat, Sasha, so he grew up with a slightly older female pal.  Sasha passed away almost a year ago from hyperthyroidism. Her death was particularly drawn out, and my wife and I felt that we never wanted Miles go through that lengthy end of life process.

Miles was always one to let you know what he thought – talking all the time.  He would greet you when you got home, demanding food and love!  He just wanted to be next to us.  He would lay on my legs when I worked on my computer, and lay on us when we went to sleep.  He was a lover.

Miles and Sasha grew up doing everything together: playing, fighting, and sleeping.  When Sasha passed away, I noticed that Miles had changed.  He was more sullen and aloof, and much more sensitive to needs his needs of attention.  It's like he lost a piece of himself. 

Miles was only recently also diagnosed with hyperthyroid - literally a week ago. He was drinking loads of water by this point, and urinating more than usual.  He had also lost weight.  At his peak, probably about three years ago, he was 15 pounds.  Last week he weighed 9.5 pounds.  This is what triggered my vet visit for the thyroid diagnosis.  I changed his diet to the Y/D low-iodine food, which he was eating for about four days.  While I knew he was starting to feel the effects of the thyroid problems, he was acting himself and nothing seemed unusual, until yesterday morning.

Miles woke me up as he usually does by licking my face or arm with his sandpaper tongue.  I went and did my normal morning ritual of cleaning his litterbox and putting food in his bowel.  I then hopped in the shower.  When I got out, I noticed Miles in the living room slumped over on the coffee table. It seemed unusual.  He then got up and attempted to vomit, one where you can see he's trying hard but nothing but water and foam is coming out.  Still, I've seen him do this before but it usually happens once and it's done.  However, this occurred a couple times.  H then ran down into the basement and hid in his litterbox, something I've never seen him do before.

At this point I became nervous and concerned, as I knew this was a serious indication that he wasn't feeling well.  I picked him up and carried him to our upstairs and put him in his favorite sleeping pillow.  I could see him relax. I figured I could work on my computer and keep an eye on him.  Eventually, this was followed by more gagging and vomiting fits and he tried to hide under our bed. The fits got worse and he started foaming at the mouth. Of course, I'm freaking out at this point; I called the doctor and brought him to the vet immediately.

While at the vet, they took x-rays and his body temperature.  The x-rays showed no blockage in the stomach.  He stated the kidneys looked okay, but the heart itself was smaller than usual.  What was particularly worrisome was that his body temperature was only 95 degrees.  The vet had a difficult time giving a diagnosis on exactly what was going on.  He gave us three options: emergency ICU at the local university, a short in-house stay for intravenous liquid treatment, or euthanasia.  I was shocked.  This is a cat who was running around the house just the night before.

We kept him at the vet for the afternoon to push liquids into his body in hopes that he would bounce back, but he never did.  He had more vomiting fits and his temperature never improved beyond 97 degrees.  At the end of the day we decided to let him go.  He passed away in my arms.

With our second cat passing, our house is now devoid of any pets.  It's sad and eerily quiet.  My wife and I just held each other last night and cried.  For some reason, I keep expecting Miles to run into the room, talking to us as he usually would. There is a void in our family unit.  As it turns out, Miles didn't go through the lengthy deterioration that Sasha did -- but it was completely the opposite.  It seemed he was his normal, active self-one day, and then literally gone the next.  It all seems so unfathomable.

I keep asking myself: what happened?  I know he was old, and that he would eventually feel the horrible symptoms of hyperthyroid, but I figured he had a least a year left -- probably more.  What this caused by something I did? Did the new Y/D diet have a negative effect on him?  Did he eat something poisonous?  Does this happen to old cats where the cause can be unexplained?  I feel I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t take the time to ask the vet these questions.

I find myself looking for answers as a means to deal with my tragedy.  He was such a good boy and I loved him so much. 

Thank you for reading.

-Todd

So sorry for your loss Todd. Our animals are like our children. I am owned by 5 cats and have NO real children so my cats are my life. I live alone so they are very special. Cats before they pass away always seem to be doing so well the day before then........Boom.....they are gone Time heals all wounds as Miles will never be replaced. He was unique in his own way. Let time pass as the wounds will heal. Maybe consider adopting a new kitty into your household from a shelter when the time is right for you. You are an awesome person and any animal would be very lucky to be cared by you Todd. Good luck buddy. BTW......... I am a 55 year old male.

Sorry for your loss Todd . I  lost my 14 yo girl  Cloee about 10 days ago and although she had some health issues the end came suddenly at 11pm on a Sunday night with symptoms almost identical to Miles. She had been on the Y/D diet for 28 months to treat her hyperthyroid so it likely was not the food that affected Miles. It's possible Miles had the hyperthyroid for some time prior to being diagnosed. In retrospect I believe my cat had the hyperthyroid for 6-8 months at least before I noticed that something was really wrong with her, ie weight loss, excessive drinking, increased urination.  Apparently that condition is very hard on the heart for a cat. I know how unsettling it is trying to understand why and how this happened. I was somewhat prepared to lose my girl but when it happens that quickly it is extremely difficult to accept. Making the decision to euthanize her in the middle of the night was excruciating however she was in such distress crying, dry heaving, foaming at the mouth and unable to walk I knew it was her time. She went peacefully and quickly but I still question myself and whether I could have done something differently. Hope you and your wife feel better with time.

I want to extend my sympathy to you and your wife.  You may never know exactly what happened to your beautiful boy, but please don't blame yourselves. You both loved him so much; he was blessed to have been yours, as you were blessed to have been his.

I'm so sorry for your loss of Miles. He was such a beautiful boy. He was so lucky to have 2 people in his life who loved him as much as you and your wife.
R.I.P. Miles

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Miles.

Beautiful Miles  

I'm so amazed at the support everyone has given me and my wife through these replies.  

@tonyd4life  - Thank you for sharing your story.  It really seems like Cloee had very similar symptoms to Miles.  While sad, it comforts me that our experiences with their end of life happened suddenly - it helps me accept the situation instead of beating myself up over trying to have the answers to "why".  Your story gave my wife and I strength to get through another tough night last night.  

@Slave2_Ragdolls  - Thank you for sharing your wisdom.  The fragility of life can be shocking, but words like yours help us to get through.

@nurseangel, @JodieThierry64, @peaches08, @My4LLMA - Thank you, thank you, thank you for your lovely comments on beautiful Miles.

This is such a difficult time.  Thank you all for your love and support.  It truly helps us.

-Todd

I don't know which is tougher--knowing a beloved pet has limited time and waiting for the inevitable, or having it happen so suddenly there's no chance to grasp what's happening.  :-/    I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet boy.  

It's always hard when it's sudden because there's no chance to prepare or say goodbye. My sister's cat crossed the rainbow bridge after suffering what I think could have been a saddle thrombus and possibly CHF, he couldn't use his hind legs, he was clearly distressed, and his lungs were filled with fluid. He was fine earlier that day then suddenly collapsed. He was rushed to the vet but nothing could be done but to send him up the rainbow bridge. They couldn't do any tests in his condition, but he was clearly suffering and in distress.

Todd, 

I can completely relate to your shock and loss. We lost our 10 year old beautiful, sweet Sasha about a week and a half ago. She was lazy, never really did much. Always kept an eye on her never noticed anytthing. Thursday night she made this weird snorty sound and seemed like she was trying to get a hairball up and then was fine. Noticed her purr was a little bubbly. Decided to run her in the next morning. Got the call she was in congestive heart failure. Treatment began immediately, IV diuretics and tapped her chest and removed a coke can amount of fluid...doctor was guardedly optimistic she would do well. Spent the night in ICU and oxygen isolette, then back to the regular vet for Saturday. We brought her home Saturday night. She took her 4 pills like a champ...ate, drank, played a little and snuggled with my wife. Sunday began fine, no issues. She ate a little and drank a little seemd sore from the tapping. By late afternoon she began vomiting yellow, thick bile. She wouldn't eat or drink. i started immediately putting regular 5ml syringes of water down her to keep her hydrated. Skipped her last dose of meds to get her a break. Stayed up all night and knew she was very sick and dying. She couldn't sit still (very odd). She was hiding trying to get under the bed, then went into the closet and hid. Kept vomiting. Monday morning about 5 AM, she woke me up...i got opened the bedroom door and she shot out the door, again rare. She walked down the hall, right through the pet gate, something she had never done and stuck her face right against two pugs kennel door. She just sat and stared at them, sniffing them...then looked around the living room like she was saying goodbye...i started bawling. She then looked back down the hall directly at me for a minute, then went down the stairs to the basement to hide. 

As soon as the vet opened I had her in, she wasnt due back until the next day. They called wanted to run blood work, thought maybe it was just lack of water and nutrition. They called back within the hour...her kidneys were destroyed. Which was a major danger of the Congestive Heart Failure. Some of her levels were 5 times over the maximum level of acceptable. Doctor consulted with her original doc and then called the cardiologist at the ICU hospital and all three agreed that the only possible treatment was 4-5 days of around the clock intense fluid therapy plus continuing the heart drugs since the fluid had returned to her chest within 36 hours. They said it would run probably $5000 between the two hospitals but that in their collective opinion they didnt believe her heart could survive that much fluid and medication. They said she would be isolated, confused, in pain because they would have to manually tap her at least once day, agitated and scared and in the end they put her chances at low single digits. We made the decision to end her pain that evening after work. She wouldnt look at us, she was already drawn and looked thinner, later learned cats when their bodies begin to die can lose muscle mass by the hour. She couldnt get comfortable on the table and even a meow caused her to gasp for breath. It was the most heart breaking thing i had experienced since my brother died from cancer at 29 14 years ago. 

I haev second guessed myself, wondered if we should have tried, I have wondered what I missed and when...I have felt guilty and just shocked that in 3 days a cat can go from normal as can be to gone. 

My condolences to you and your family and wish you the best. it is hard. It has helped that we kept her ashes in a nice urn and built her a little wall memorial in our bedroom so we can still see her. But it is tough

Thank you again for everyone sharing their thoughts and experiences.  It helps me so much in this time of need.  I'm still trying to comprehend and accept everything that has taken place.  I still find myself getting upset everyday -- especially in the morning when Miles would be most active.  I find it easier to leave the house than be surrounded by things that remind me of him.  It's been so difficult. 

Thank you.

I am so, so, so sorry for the loss of your VERY special kitty!   Remember all the good memories that you shared with him! He will never be replaced. He had a great life living with you, your wife and Sasha.

toddc612 said:

 
Thank you again for everyone sharing their thoughts and experiences.  It helps me so much in this time of need.  I'm still trying to comprehend and accept everything that has taken place.  I still find myself getting upset everyday -- especially in the morning when Miles would be most active.  I find it easier to leave the house than be surrounded by things that remind me of him.  It's been so difficult. 

Thank you.

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without a doubt the first few days were very hard. I had a hard time at work not breaking down and trying to avoid being seen crying. It eases with time, the crying gives way to laughing and smiling at the good times not the last moments. 

Not pretending to know what works for everyone...but the first few days were the same in terms of the house seeming empty and bare. But what really did give us a sense of some sort of peace was when Sasha came home in her urn. It felt like she was at least with us. Just the other night, we put up a little photo memorial on our bedroom wall the room she spent the most time in. It is a 30 inch sliding photo shelf with a top shelf. We picked out our 6 favorite 5x7 pics and put them in. Then on the top shelf is her urn, the paw print the vet made after her death and then a poem my wife's friend gave her and then her blanket folded up. it seems odd, but being able to wake up and see her face, at least in pictures, and know she is there in spirit really has helped a lot. 

Dont expect for this to be gone in days. It hit me like a truck. 

I'm very sorry about your loss, and yours, too, rockslide.

The first few days and weeks are rough, because the house seems so empty and you find yourself thinking, "I've got to feed the cat, clean the litterbox, etc.", and then it hits you that you won't be doing those things.

The pain does ease over time, especially when you feel you're able to give another cat or two a home, not to replace Miles (or Sasha) but to shower with love.

I'm so very sorry for your loss, I know words seem empty right now, but let them bring some comfort because they are from the heart. Be patient with yourself, it takes a long time to accept and then to live with the loss of your sweet baby. Don't dwell on his death, you shared his wonderful love for 16 years and he will live forever in your heart. Losing your Miles leaves a huge hole in your heart, but eventually, with time, you'll begin to heal and remember him with smiled instead of tears. Please pack away the things that remind you of him, some day you'll treasure them as a legacy to his memory. RIP beautiful Miles!

I just wanted to thank everyone again who has contributed such kind words to this thread for Miles.  I am truly humbled by each one of you taking the time to comfort me.

It will be a week since his passing tomorrow.  Acceptance is slowing creeping in, though I notice reminders of my wonderful Miles throughout the house.  I keep thinking he'll be meowing behind the sun-room door, as he normally does, when I arrive home.  Or that he'll be bringing down some item of clothing, a sock or t-shirt, which he normally drags from our bedroom all the way downstairs to the living room as a token of his thanks..   all the memories.

I know it will get better with time.

Thank you, each one of you.  

-Todd