How honest are you when turning down adopters?

Turning down adopters has never been one of my favorite activities but unfortunately sometimes it has to be done. I've always grappled with how best to do it and I'm curious how other rescuers do it. Sometimes it's not that hard, like when a cat is terrified of dogs and the adopter has a dog, etc., but what do you say when you think someone would simply be a bad cat owner? Do you tell them or do you say something nice like "it's not a good match"?

I got an application yesterday from a lady who shouldn't adopt any cat, imo. She had rehomed three previous pets - a cat and two dogs - due to moving and another dog was given up to the vet when they couldn't afford the vet bills, she claimed. I found ads on the internet for this dog, though, where this woman was looking for a "rescue person" to take her dog who had been hit by a car because she couldn't deal with it because she had kids. She said that the dog could be savable if she got vet care for her broken pelvis. Now she wants to adopt a cat because her 9-year old son wants one to sleep in his bed and keep him company when he does homework.

There is no way in hell I would allow someone who has given up at least 4 pets to adopt any of my cats. Moving is no reason at all to get rid of your non-human family members. None at all. It's not hard to bring them. You just put them in your car like you do with the rest of your family and your belongings. I've moved five times with my two dogs, three of those with cats too, and once to a different state. There is no reason why other people can't do the same, especially a well-off middle class family like this one.

I would like to tell her that she can't adopt one of our cats because she has shown that she's not a committed and responsible pet owner, in a courteous way of course. I would like to lecture her about responsible pet ownership and tell her what I've told you guys here - that it's perfectly possible to bring pets when you move. I'd like to tell her about the problem with homeless pets and that sh's contributing to it when she dumps her pets. But is it better to just provide some excuse that is not accusatory, for lack of a better word?

How honest are you guys in these situations or how honest would you be? what do you say when turning down an adopter?

Hi Ziggy'smom,

I'm not a rescuer, so I've never dealt with this, but I am a teacher, and as such, I believe in honesty.  My students can't learn if I don't tell them why, or if I praise them falsely, or I don't tell them hard things.  Of course it needs to be done without heat (so I can't get angry or lecture).  But it also needs to be done in as matter-as-fact way as possible - be worried about 'hurting their feelings' and you end up stumbling around being too sensitive, and the outcome is worse than if you just said it!  I focus on the outcome - I want them to learn, understand, change, adapt, and be great.  When I have that motive clearly in my mind, then it is actually easy and goes down really well.

I hope that helps you think through how you will respond.  I'm with you - I wouldn't adopt to her.  But perhaps you can also provide some sort of pamplet/educational material in your refusal (to take away -often they will keep and look at later), because the problem is, even if you and other responsible people refuse her, she can easily get her hands on another pet somewhere/how.

I completely 100% agree that I would not adopt out any cat to this person. period. And, in all honesty, I would be honest with her. :lol3: Explain that the way YOU look at adopting and opening up your home to a pet is FOREVER. period. There is always going to be accidents, injuries, illness, etc. that will require money and most times, money one does not have BUT you still find a way. Taking in a cat/dog is for life and not to be tossed aside for the reasons she has given. I would just say that you and this person come from two different outlooks on pet guardianship and you don't feel it would be in the best interest of one of your cats given past pet ownership history of this person. In other words - treat your pets like you would your children. It is a high standard but one I stick with when adopting out any foster. Thank them for being honest about their past pets and to reconsider bringing any new cat/dog into their lives.

As always.... THANKS for all you do.