Someone wants to trap and remove.

I have started a program in my community to TNR the strays and ferals. I will be trapping on the 12th but someone has asked to borrow some traps to trap at their home. They have been feeding a few young cats throughout the winter, now some toms have come and are eating the kittens food and apparently stalking them. They do not want to wait till I can trap and after a phone conversation he initially said he was going to take them for a one way ride. Further discussion revealed he has done that in the past, trapped and relocated, but said he wouldn't do it now after I explained the cruelty of relocating. I think he will still do it and is not telling me the truth. I do not want to loan any traps and will take care of it on the 12th. How can I renege on the loan and convince him to wait until I can do it? Thank you.

Karen

Tell him that some of your traps became damaged in an unfortunate accident and it will take you a day or two to repair them, but promise that you will find some traps or have yours fixed by the 12th when you promised you would be there to do the trapping. 

Thanks for your response. I streeeetttccched the truth. Before the really bad weather, I was trapping on a couple's porch the colony that was created after a neighbor moved leaving 2 cats behind. I left one of the traps so the cats would become familiar and comfortable with it. The couple went on a cruise 2 weeks ago.

When I called the person who wanted to borrow my traps I told him I left traps at this place and they went on a cruise (didn't say when they were on cruise) Said I can't get the traps till Sunday, then I will trap his cats Mon or Tues for surgery on Wed.

He was fine with that, so hopefully he wasn't going to relocate the bigger/older cats that have come around for the food they leave out for the kittens. My husband said I should have told him the truth but I don't want to alienate anybody and maybe jeopardize the cats welfare.

So, All is well, I hope!

Karen

In 9 cases out of 10, I think it's probably best to tell the truth, but every once in a while, you run into people who cannot comprehend what you're trying to tell them. In those situations, the best thing to do, is give them a story that they WILL understand, as long as that story gives everybody what they need. 

I agree that telling the truth is generally best (as when I don't, it usually catches up with me somehow!)....but sometimes it's best to, as you said, streeettttchhhh the truth

Unfortunately - my gut (and obviously yours too - or you wouldn't be posting the issue!) says that his first statement was probably his most honest about his intentions, and that HE streeeetttcheddd (I love that) the truth by telling you what he realized you wanted to hear so that he could get the traps. He obviously cares some about the cats if he's putting out kitten food. But I got an odd feeling just hearing that he only wants to feed the younger cats and is obviously put off by the presence of the older guys. After all - the kittens will be "older cats" eventually too. I do get that it's uncomfortable watching toms stalk the younger cats - but someone who's expressed he wants to give them a "one way ticket" doesn't sound like a statement made by someone who would probably be swayed by a quick conversation into re-releasing them. Did he even seem amenable to you TNRing the older guys - knowing they'll be right back? Because even neutered - there will still be territorial issues, and neutering them certainly isn't going to make them less hungry

I think you're doing the right thing in telling him you'll do it yourself in a few days. After all - the 12th is less than a week away, and they ARE your traps (or if you've started a group - your group's traps). And I'm guessing it's not him who will be paying for the spaying/neutering? Even if he is - trust your gut. I get that your husband wants you to be honest - but I'd definitely trust your gut on this one.

Good luck - and YEAH FOR YOU on the TNR program! 

He said he told his wife to remove the food as soon as the young cats have eaten and I seconded that decision. I told him that if you are putting food out you have to expect more cats to show up. He is aware I shall trap all the cats and return them to same place. What happens after that, I don't know. He could find a trap elsewhere.

I set up an account for donations with a nonprofit lowcost spay/neutering organization. The community has a yearly raffle to fund the surgery with the proceeds going directly to the organization. I do the trapping, transportation, feeding and any needed vet visits. I just wrote a proposal for the board of directors to fund this program as husband and I have spent over $12,000 since I started doing this June 2011.  They decided to hire me to continue the program. I should have tried to become a nonprofit myself to help defray the costs but I didn't realize how much money we were spending till I sat down one day and figured it out. I was shocked. But I have trapped 138 cats!!!!

Thank you both for taking the time to reply. 

Karen

WOW - 138!!!! I was thrilled with the 13 we did last summer - but 138 - - - holy moly! I'm beyond impressed. 

And it sounds like you're doing all you can with this guy. You're right - you can only do so much!!! 90% of us on this site need to remind ourselves of that every  now and then, don't we?

Would love an update on this case when the trapping's over - and you've met this guy in person