I feel so guilty

I have two lovely little kittens, Sophie and Chloe who are both between 5 and 6 months old. I live in a house converted to flats and mine is like an attic conversion (It's actually a very big flat though.. I have 2 bedrooms, a living room, kitchen and bathroom), and on Sunday I'd opened one of the windows slightly to let in some fresh air. I know it's quite common for the wind to push the window open further and I'm always so careful to make sure it's only open a small enough amount that the cats can't get out and I'm so careful to close it when I'm not in the room, however on Sunday I must have forgotten which I feel so guilty about.

I like to know where the cats are pretty much all the time and if I haven't seen one of them for 20 - 30 mins or so then I'll go have a look to see where they are. On Sunday I'd noticed I hadn't seen Sophie in a little while and so went to check the places she likes to sleep in. I couldn't find her anywhere.. I even filled up her treat ball thing she loves so much to see if it'd make her come from where ever she's hiding. It's not uncommon for me not to be able to find her and then all of a sudden she'll appear out of nowhere.

After she still didn't come when I filled up the treat ball I went for another look and thats when I noticed the bedroom window quite wide open and panicked. I rushed outside and into the garden and found Sophie out there hiding in a corner very scared. She had got out from the window and onto the roof and then must have either jumped down or fallen. She was limping around and seemed in some pain so I rushed her to an emergency vet who checked her over. At the time I don't think the problem with her front leg was noticed. The vet was concerned about the possibility of her having some nerve or spine damage from the fall because she'd wee'd herself when it happened (Well, she smelled of wee), but he allowed her to come home and asked me to watch to make sure she's able to use her litter tray on her own. It took a long time for her to actually use her litter tray and I was really worrying about it, but she did eventually use it.

On Monday she went back to the vet again for a further checkup, and she couldn't seem to put any weight on her front right leg so she had to go back in the next morning (Tuesday) for xrays of the leg and of her pelvis. I went and collected her in the evening and got the results from the xrays. Her pelvis is fine but the leg she wouldn't put any weight on has a fracture on the wrist/ankle bit of the leg where the growth plate is and she'll need to go back again for surgery to put pins and things in it, and then around 8 weeks later they'll need to operate again to remove the things they put in the bone.

Luckily I have pet insurance which should hopefully cover the treatment (Apart from the £70 excess I'll need to pay) because the treatment is so expensive. For the appointments and xrays, I've already paid the vet around £450 and the first surgery is going to be another £800 they estimated, but rather than me having to find the money to pay it upfront then claim it back, they're going to do a direct claim from the pet insurance.

I just feel so guilty. I made a stupid mistake and because of it my baby is in pain and having to go through a lot of unpleasant experiences I wish I could take the pain from her and have it myself. Since she had the accident I've spent so much time crying because it breaks my heart to know she's hurt because of me and seeing her hopping around because of not being able to put weight on the fractured leg.

Maybe I shouldn't have got cats in the first place.. I'm obviously not doing a good enough job looking after them and they deserve better than me..

Sarah

Can't find a way to edit my first post so need to put it in another..

These are my two lovely girls:


Sophie is the one with the little black nose and Chloe is the other.

Yes, you made a mistake, but you're human. We do really stupid things sometimes but lesson learned huh? Totally normal reaction to feel guilty and think of someone else looking after them better than you, but try not to think that way. You'll be very very careful in future and probably the best mum around! 

Some folk here get netting for their windows if it helps. Not sure if we have it in the UK, but probably. Perhaps that's an option for the future? Or perhaps a child proof window latch so it can never open too wide.

Again, please don't beat yourself up. Wishing your kitty a super-speedy recovery. Cat's are really resilient and am sure with a good vet and your tlc, she'll spring back to normal. Please take comfort in that.

Hugs!

Fleabags Mom said:

 
Yes, you made a mistake, but you're human. We do really stupid things sometimes but lesson learned huh? Totally normal reaction to feel guilty and think of someone else looking after them better than you, but try not to think that way. You'll be very very careful in future and probably the best mum around! 

Some folk here get netting for their windows if it helps. Not sure if we have it in the UK, but probably. Perhaps that's an option for the future? Or perhaps a child proof window latch so it can never open too wide.

Again, please don't beat yourself up. Wishing your kitty a super-speedy recovery. Cat's are really resilient and am sure with a good vet and your tlc, she'll spring back to normal. Please take comfort in that.

Hugs!

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I actually bought some window screen things on Wednesday last week from some website called flat cats (http://www.flat-cats.co.uk/) and received a card Friday saying they were attempted to be delivered.. I planned to go collect them from the post office on Monday but I've been so busy going to the vets and stressing about Sophie so not collected them yet.. I plan to go and get them today since Sophie doesn't need to go to the vets again until her surgery on Friday. The windows wont be opened again at all until the window screen things are up..

I'm just so glad my baby didn't die or run away.. It's a large house and so the roof is very high.. I'd estimate the fall was probably 6 meters or so.. I'm just so relieved she's still alive and stayed in the garden until mummy came out to find her.. She didn't have her micro chip yet either. It was a part of the kitten package I paid for (Includes a checkup, vaccinations, micro chip, flea/worm treatment and a toy and food), but they wanted to wait until they spayed the cats to do the micro chips so they'll be under anaesthetic and it wont be stressful for them (Well, Sophie had her micro chip now when she was under the anaesthetic for doing the xrays). They were actually due to both be spayed today, but because of Sophie's accident they've both been cancelled and will be rescheduled when Sophie is a bit better since I'd like to get them both spayed at the same time.

I know everyone makes mistakes at times but it's my responsibility to keep her safe and I failed at that I just hope when she's all better I can forgive myself for it..

You are doing a fine job! The fact that you have pet insurance tells me you are responsible. And your reaction to the accident reveals how much you love your kittens. They are very lucky to have you!

Kittens are notorious for getting into trouble and accidents do happen. Please don't beat yourself up over it. I closed my youngest in a recliner when she was a kitten, smashing her nose and cracking her palate in half. I learned to check under the chair every time it is un-reclined. I felt horrible. It was an accident, but it was an easy mistake to make, especially when I wasn't used to having an active kitten in the house again, exploring everywhere. It sounds like the curious little booger caught you off guard, too. It happens.

Your kittens pick up on every emotion, so please try to stay positive It will help your baby heal. Like Fleabag's Mom said, kittens are very resilient and your vet sounds very experienced. Please try to not feel guilty, as hard as that is to do. What is done is done and your are getting her the treatment she needs. That is what matters. They are very adorable, by the way

Wishing your baby a quick recovery. Please keep us updated on her progress.

happybird said:

You are doing a fine job! The fact that you have pet insurance tells me you are responsible. And your reaction to the accident reveals how much you love your kittens. They are very lucky to have you!

Kittens are notorious for getting into trouble and accidents do happen. Please don't beat yourself up over it. I closed my youngest in a recliner when she was a kitten, smashing her nose and cracking her palate in half. I learned to check under the chair every time it is un-reclined. I felt horrible. It was an accident, but it was an easy mistake to make, especially when I wasn't used to having an active kitten in the house again, exploring everywhere. It sounds like the curious little booger caught you off guard, too. It happens.

Your kittens pick up on every emotion, so please try to stay positive

It will help your baby heal. Like Fleabag's Mom said, kittens are very resilient and your vet sounds very experienced. Please try to not feel guilty, as hard as that is to do. What is done is done and your are getting her the treatment she needs. That is what matters. They are very adorable, by the way

Wishing your baby a quick recovery. Please keep us updated on her progress.

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Thank you for the kind words.. and the reason I got the pet insurance was in case they ever had any accidents or became ill. I don't have a lot of spare money and want to make sure to do the best I possibly can for my little girls and that's why I bought the pet insurance because I know some treatment can cost thousands (With Sophie's surgery on Friday it'll already be around £1300 so far for this treatment and she'll need another surgery after to remove the pins and things). I know if I didn't have insurance I'd not have been able to afford this surgery. The vet told me the cheaper option would have been to like put it in a splint but there's a lot more chance of long term problems with that because of the fracture being on the growth plate.

I just feel so relieved to have bought the insurance so I know she can have the best possible care. The insurance covers up to £4000 and is the covered for life one. I'm not sure if the £4000 is per year or per injury/illness, but the vet said the treatment is unlikely to cost any more than that. I think at next years renewal though, I'm going to get the higher cover (I think it's up to £7000) just to make sure there's plenty of cover for anything that happens in the future. I couldn't bare the thought of anything happening to either of them and not being able to afford their treatment.

And yes, you're right! I love my kittens so much! They're the first pet's I've had since moving out of my parents home around 8 years ago, so I'm not the most experienced pet owner, but I do try my very best to make sure they'll have a happy and healthy life. From the moment I got them, I was in love. Maybe it's a little strange, but I really do think of them as my children and I'm their mummy.

I will try to stop feeling so guilty about it, but I'm sure there'll always be some guilt there. Every time she gets up from her bed and hops around it breaks my heart! Today she even had breakfast in bed, the lucky little girl! She's on a bland diet for now because of the anaesthetic but she seems to really love the cod fillets she's been eating. I did give her some scrambled egg last night but she wasn't so keen on that. I also bought some chicken breast fillets which I'll give her some of later. I want to figure out what she likes the most since I imagine she'll be on the bland diet for a week or so since she'll be having anaesthetic again on Friday for the surgery.

I'll definitely keep everyone updated about how things are going. I just can't wait until she's back to her normal mischievous little self.

Sarah

I wish every cat owner was like you so stop beating yourself up! You've made a mistake, you didn't deliberately set out for your fur baby to get hurt and you are only human. I've made mistakes in the past, we all have. You are obviously a very caring, responsible owner so stop the guilt and stop saying you shouldn't have cats. Just concentrate on your little one getting better x

poppysmummy said:

I wish every cat owner was like you so stop beating yourself up! You've made a mistake, you didn't deliberately set out for your fur baby to get hurt and you are only human. I've made mistakes in the past, we all have. You are obviously a very caring, responsible owner so stop the guilt and stop saying you shouldn't have cats. Just concentrate on your little one getting better x

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Thank you. I'll try and stop blaming myself for it.. I do really love my cats so much and I know there's cat's out there without owners or with owners who are abusive or just don't care about their health, so I guess they're at least lucky to have someone who loves them as much as I do and will do anything for them

I ordered a card now from moonpig (Not sure if it's well known outside the UK, but they make custom cards) to give to the vets (along with some chocolates) once Sophie has had her surgery and is recovering

This is a picture of the front and the writing on it from the online preview

Nice to say thanks to the vets, am sure they'll like the card and the thought. Moonpig is great :-)

So very sorry that your kitty got hurt.  Don't beat yourself up, it happens to the best of us, My cat Munchie jumped out of my hubby's arm and wouldn't put weight on his leg.  Probably because he's older he just ended up jarring his already arthritic leg.  He had to have some morphine but a few days later he was fine.  I work for a vet and we absolutely love thank you cards and goodies, so I think your vet will really like that.

I'm really starting to stress about the surgery Sophie is due to have tomorrow. I'm not stressing about the surgery so much, but the period after the surgery..

My biggest concern is that she's going to have to have cage rest for weeks after her surgery (I think the vet said 8 weeks, but maybe the 8 weeks he mentioned was just until the next surgery and she wont need to be in it so long), and then when they operate again to remove the plates/pins I'm guessing it'll be the same.. When I saw the vet on Tuesday for the xray results he said if I didn't have pet insurance the cheaper option would have been to put it in a splint but it can cause some problems with the legs growth since the fracture was on the growth plate. I'm starting to consider whether it would be better to not have it operated on and just have the splint, provided that the potential growth problems wouldn't cause her any long term problems other than one leg being a little shorter than the other.

I'm really worried she'll be so bored and get so depressed staying in a cage for so long.. She's only about 5 and a half months old, so if she needs around 8 weeks cage rest twice, that's almost as long as she's been alive already... I just want her to be happy and feel better quickly.. I guess it's something I'll discuss with the vet in the appointment I have tomorrow morning before her surgery..

Sophie has gone in for her surgery this morning. It was good to speak to the vet because I feel much better about it now. The vet explained that if her leg was just put in a splint/cast it's unlikely the bone would fuse back together correctly and as well as the problems with the growth of the leg, she'd likely always have a limp and would suffer from arthritis when she gets older.

She said that with the surgery Sophie is very likely to make a full recovery and not suffer any long term problems because of it. She also said that Sophie doesn't have to be caged the whole time.. As long as she doesn't move around then it's ok for me to take her out and give her a cuddle on the sofa and things. The vet also said that because she's so young, she'll likely recover from it quicker than an older cat

I have a discharge appointment at 6pm this evening. I really can't wait to go collect her.. As much as I'd love to snuggle Sophie constantly after her surgery, I'll probably keep her in her cage all the time for the first 2 or 3 days just to make sure I'm not going to cause any problems and to give her plenty of chance to rest.

That is brilliant news and I'm sure she will recover really quickly! Enjoy giving her lots of cuddles later on tonight and let us know how she is!
Thinking of you both x

poppysmummy said:

That is brilliant news and I'm sure she will recover really quickly! Enjoy giving her lots of cuddles later on tonight and let us know how she is!
Thinking of you both x

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Thank you! It's nice to know you're thinking about us

I'll post an update later when she's home Also Chloe seems a little sad that Sophie isn't here. Since I got home Chloe keeps meowing constantly I'm sure she'll be happy tonight though when she see's her sister

Thanks for letting us know - sounds like it will all be ok in the end. Enjoy having her home and a cuddle or two :-)

Just a thought, sometimes other cats can act a bit strange when a cat comes home from the vets. They smell completely different. Please keep an eye on them, esp the first few days because the last thing you want is a fight for Sophie!  You can help by rubbing some familiar smells back on Sophie, any blankets or something that she liked and used.

Sending you and Sophie positive vibes for a successful surgery and quick recovery!

Fleabags Mom said:

 
Thanks for letting us know - sounds like it will all be ok in the end. Enjoy having her home and a cuddle or two :-)

Just a thought, sometimes other cats can act a bit strange when a cat comes home from the vets. They smell completely different. Please keep an eye on them, esp the first few days because the last thing you want is a fight for Sophie!  You can help by rubbing some familiar smells back on Sophie, any blankets or something that she liked and used.

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Thank you for the message After Sophie got outside from her fall, Chloe was hissing at her a bit because of the strange smell, but when she came back from the vets Tuesday there was no hissing. As much as I'd love to give Sophie a big cuddle when she's home, I plan to keep her in her cage for the first few days because I don't want to cause any problems with her recovery, and hopefully by then any strange smells will be gone too.

happybird said:

Sending you and Sophie positive vibes for a successful surgery and quick recovery!

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Thank you very much!

Just got a call from the vet to let me know she's woken from the anesthetic now and everything went well She also seems comfortable and has just had some pain killers and is alert I really can't wait until 6 when I get to pick her up! I've worried so much about my baby today

Fantastic news and she will now go from strength to strength! I call my cats my fur babies because that's exactly how I look at them! Keep us updated x