How do you cope with others' poor treatment of animals?

Obviously, all of us on here are cat lovers/enthusiasts/fanatics/supporters, pick your adjective. We love them so much we have dedicated forums to their care and behavior. Not everyone loves and appreciates cats as much as we do, and I suspect many of us here are regarded by our friends as a little overboard when it comes to our felines. Personally, I don't think there IS such a thing as being too overboard about cats (or animals in general). They add something to our lives we can't get anywhere else, and we're just smart enough to see it and appreciate it!

I love my cats so much, and treat them so well that it bothers me immensely when I see people who treat their animals with less affection, concern, love and appreciation than I do. I want to smack them on the head and take their animal away, shouting, "you don't deserve such a precious creature in your life!" If I did that every time I saw this behavior, I'd probably have hundreds of animals by now!

I just posted about my friend's cat Barbara and the problems surrounding her. Personally, I think leaving his animals with his (undiagnosed) mentally ill mother who doesn't feed/walk/play/love them as (I think) she should, and lack of finances to get needed vet care promptly is neglect, bordering on abuse. It appalls me to see animals treated this way. Saying "oh, they'll be ok for another week or so" when the animal is obviously sick or in pain makes me want to scream! That particular situation bothers me so much, I refuse to go over there - I can't watch or even think about what those poor animals are going through.

Anyone else here like that? Does it bother or even offend you so much when you see/hear people treating their pets so casually? My cats are FAMILY, they're my kids. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them. I will eat scraps before they go hungry. I've spent a long time cultivating an excellent relationship with my vet so that they let me carry a balance when I have to, to make sure my cats get proper care. I put their needs as high, if not higher, than my own. To see anyone treat their animals less than that causes me emotional pain.

If you feel the same, how do you cope? We can't save every animal, I know that, but when you see what you consider abuse & neglect, what do you do? What's your definition of abuse & neglect?

My two dream jobs would be 1. Being the person who decides who is worthy of adopting and having animals and who isn't, and 2. Being the person who gets to punish those who abuse and neglect animals! All I need is time alone with that person and a baseball bat.... 

Sometimes, even those crappy homes are better than an animal shelter, or a mill. 

I deal with it, by supporting animal rescue groups. I donate supplies and money when I can't volunteer (which is often, because I rescue senior dogs who often have compromised immune systems, so I'm usually barred from volunteering at the shelter). 

I deal with it by not being the sort of person who takes a back seat. I live my responsible pet ownership out loud. I post about it on Facebook. I change minds, one person at a time. I have educated more than one person about what it takes to be a responsible pet owner and some of those crappy owners, really want to learn a better way, but just haven't been taught. Those are the people we can reach and those are the people we should be trying to educate. 

The others, hopefully we can convince them that pet ownership isn't for everyone and that there's nothing wrong with admitting that you can't handle having a pet. There's no shame in saying, "I don't have a pet, because I can't handle the responsibility." Hopefully, we can tell them that owning a cat or a dog is just too hard, or doesn't suit the lifestyle they lead and that maybe a fish would be a better choice for someone who wants to save money on vet bills. 

One of the things I am very honest with people about, are my veterinary expenses... and how much MORE expensive my vet bills were before I switched to grain free diets. People who are considering getting a pet, think twice when they realize that vet bills for a single large breed dog will be around 500$ a year for the first year and that their food costs more than 12$ for a 40 pound bag, if you want to feed them right. 

I can't save them all. I save those I can. I educate the people I can reach and I try to let my love for animals touch every one I meet. 

I do what I can and I hope that I reach enough people to spare even one pet from the misery you describe. 

If I were you, I would go to your friend and offer to take her pets to the vet for her. Tell her that you think her cat is in pain and that it needs to be seen and if she can't afford it, then you'll cover the bill, or help her find a low cost clinic that can ease her cat's discomfort and if that doesn't work, if they aren't willing to do what it takes to do right by their pets, then don't speak to them anymore. If they ask why you don't talk, tell them, "Because you treat your pets like dirt and I'm not going to stick around and wait for the day that you do that to me." 

If I were you, I would go to your friend and offer to take her pets to the vet for her. Tell her that you think her cat is in pain and that it needs to be seen and if she can't afford it, then you'll cover the bill, or help her find a low cost clinic that can ease her cat's discomfort

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I wish I could take my friend's cat to the vet, and I'd do it in a heartbeat if I could. But like I posted before, I can't afford to. I have a huge vet bill at my own vet to pay off (one cat just had surgery) and I just don't have the funds to spare on someone elses animals.

I loved what you said about telling people who treat their animals like dirt why you won't speak to them anymore. I have written off several people who don't treat their animals they way they should, but I've never put it that way, I may have to try that. Unfortunately, I tend to come across as too intense, pushy, insistent or just plain too strong for many people and instead of getting the message, they just retreat. I recently had a discussion with a friend over her boyfriend's purchase of land and him wanting to kill all the prairie dogs on it. She claimed she's an animal lover like I am, but when I told her she should dissuade her bf from killing them, but try and relocate them, she didn't want to get involved. I did research and tried to provide her with alternatives to killing the prairie dogs, but she was more worried about how she'd be perceived and not wanting to rock the boat than taking the info and fighting for the prairie dogs. Huh...super animal lover my ASS!! I really haven't spoken to her since she tried to pacify me by saying her bf had already taken care of it.

Thanks for your reply, Random Gemini. I appreciate your feedback! 

It annoys me to no end.  My landlords daughter (was once a friend) smacks her cat very hard if he gets into anything he shouldn't be in, is very overweight, never gets any stimulation, his litterbox is always dirty, and she's always grabbing him or carrying him by the scruff of his neck for no reason.  I love that cat and he's such a character, but no one there gives him the love and attention he needs or deserves. 

Now, with cats, I don't normally get frustrated with people unless is obvious abuse and neglect on purpose.  I used to have chinchillas, and studied them for years and researched everything I could, because they're so fragile, and exotic.  Seeing people with chinchillas with tiny wheels, plastic cages, wire mesh floors....  It makes my blood boil.  A relative of mine had two chinchillas die by getting their foot caught in the wire mesh floor and they didn't checked on them except for once every few days.  They were dead when they find them.  Then they got MORE chinchillas and put them into the SAME CAGE!  I was so furious.

omg. this reminds me of my room mates dog. Poor Lucky he's a yorkie, and he's i think 1 1/2 year old or a bit older. 

I live with her, and my best friend. 

I've been living there about 7-8 months now. 

and i NEVER see that dog. i mean never. she keeps her dog locked up in their bedroom all day, and all night. I don't even know if they take the dog out for walks. i know the dog has accidents in their (my room mate and her bf) bedroom, and they're constantly cleaning it and giving him baths. They have a balcony in their room, and sometimes they will let the dog out into the balcony, and i'll hear him barking out there, but quite honestly that's probably the only excersize he gets.

Sometimes, when they're getting his food ready, i will see the dog out of the room and in the kitchen, and he's sooo hyper and just wants to play! but if you interact with the dog they act weird. they will take the dog and put him back in the room right away. they're so weird. Its like they don't want anyone else making their dog happy? yet they themselves dont want to do it. 

i remember when i was getting my cats, i spoke to the whole house and notified everyone that i was getting a cat. my best friend/room mate was super supportive and excited. the other room mate, we'll call her "A", was not so excited. she acted as if my cat would get into fights with her dog, and she did not want to deal with that (as if, maybe if you ever let your dog out), and she advised me "please to keep cat in bedroom at all times"...as if that's gonna happen...

i have two cats now. when i'm at work they stay in my bedroom. they have their litter and food and they're both good. they have their toys and they keep each other busy. sometimes my other room mate, we'll call her "S", will watch them for me if she has work at a later time. when i come home i let them have free reign of the house, cus i'm home to watch them and if anything should happen, i'll be there. 

both of my cats are indoor cats. they never go outside. and if they needed to spend ALL day every day, every minute, for the remainder of the time that i lived there only in my bedroom, they would actually be fine. but dogs are not the same. Dogs no matter what the size need play, need to run around, need the out doors, and should not have to live in their own waste. "A" has complained that her dog is not house broken, meaning he goes every where in their room, and I have suggested she take her dog out for walks twice a day, or have her bf do it, however she doesn't think this would help and she's "too busy", and the bf says, "its too cold".

it makes me so mad. At the same time i think, if i did anything to get her pet say...taken away, Lucky would sit at a shelter and no one would adopt him. He's nervous so he barks constantly, and he's not house broken, no one would want him. so in retrospect, at least he has a home. I just wish he had a better one.

I get looks from "A" when she sees my cats wandering about being cute, curious little conquistadors, and i know she gets annoyed.  i tell her, "you should let Lucky out, let him run around, he might like it" and she just makes this face (her fake smile) and goes back in her room. She's VERY weird about other people looking at her dog, other people interacting with her dog, and her dog getting excited about anyone else but her and her bf. She frustrates the crap out of me, but i hopefully wont be there long. maybe after i leave i'll call animal control and have them save the dog...i don't know. 

Unfortunately, emotional abuse is not considered abuse under most laws. The dog has shelter. He has food. He is not in physical danger, so animal control won't do anything in most locations. 

I wish more people understood that it is emotional abuse to not obedience train their dog, even in some small ways. Training is how we learn to communicate with our pets. Training helps us bond. Training also makes our pets welcome members of the community, not the dog that everyone crosses the street to avoid. Dogs need activity and interaction, cats too, but dogs are not independent beings like cats are. If anything, I would say that dogs are co-dependent by nature. They need someone who plays games with them and will go for walks with them. Those games and walks are ALL that they have. We have our jobs, our families and our hobbies, but they only have us. I get that people who do not come from animal loving backgrounds don't know what it means to be a responsible pet owner, but that's no excuse for failing to educate yourself in my mind.

One google search and I believe your room mate would know exactly what the problem is with her dog. She may already know what the problem is, but is too self-centered to admit that she messed up. It's a shame for the little guy. He deserves to be a part of someone's life, not just an accessory to be toted around like a handbag. 

I will also add, small breed dogs like Yorkies are VERY adoptable at animal shelters. They are easier to rehome than large breed dogs. Large breed dogs have a hard time making it out of the shelter system alive, but yorkies tend to get adopted as soon as they become available. So... if you do decide to call, and your animal control does decide to step in, do NOT feel guilty. This little dog has a much better chance of a good life, with a loving family than a large breed dog would. 

Random Gemini said:

 
Unfortunately, emotional abuse is not considered abuse under most laws. The dog has shelter. He has food. He is not in physical danger, so animal control won't do anything in most locations. 

I wish more people understood that it is emotional abuse to not obedience train their dog, even in some small ways. Training is how we learn to communicate with our pets. Training helps us bond. Training also makes our pets welcome members of the community, not the dog that everyone crosses the street to avoid. Dogs need activity and interaction, cats too, but dogs are not independent beings like cats are. If anything, I would say that dogs are co-dependent by nature. They need someone who plays games with them and will go for walks with them. Those games and walks are ALL that they have. We have our jobs, our families and our hobbies, but they only have us. I get that people who do not come from animal loving backgrounds don't know what it means to be a responsible pet owner, but that's no excuse for failing to educate yourself in my mind.

One google search and I believe your room mate would know exactly what the problem is with her dog. She may already know what the problem is, but is too self-centered to admit that she messed up. It's a shame for the little guy. He deserves to be a part of someone's life, not just an accessory to be toted around like a handbag. 

I will also add, small breed dogs like Yorkies are VERY adoptable at animal shelters. They are easier to rehome than large breed dogs. Large breed dogs have a hard time making it out of the shelter system alive, but yorkies tend to get adopted as soon as they become available. So... if you do decide to call, and your animal control does decide to step in, do NOT feel guilty. This little dog has a much better chance of a good life, with a loving family than a large breed dog would. 

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When I leave, I definitely will. And you know, forget google, me and my bf openly talk about our dog Jax (1 year old pitbul, who now lives with the BF, as where i live now doesn't allow large pets, and with how small the place is, i dont wan't Jax's fate to end up like Lucky's) in the hopes that it might motivate her, or give her an idea as to how to treat or take care of her dog, but for "A" , it's in one year and out the other. 

Here's the kicker, she understands and knows about optimal animal care and health. She does not feed her dog kibble (not anymore), she always prepares and feeds him either raw, or cooked meat. so I KNOW she KNOWS what she's doing is NOT RIGHT. You can't compensate being cooped up with giving you dog grade A food. Whats the point in giving your dog good food when he's locked up all day, he cant run, he can't play?

Lucky's situation breaks my heart. One day, "A"'s BF said he was going to sell Lucky. I don't know if he was serious or joking, but i got so excited. Excited for Lucky. I asked him if he needed help finding people to buy Lucky, and he said he'd let me know, and never got back to me. And Lucky is still there...so...I guess he was joking?? 

Like i said, I've been there for about 8 months now, and I just try not to interfere in their "business". They're clearly annoyed of me for trying to "infer" things to them. i'm just going to call a rescue group or animal control as soon as i'm out of there. Lucky needs a family that will make him a part of theirs. 

Poor Lucky. He doesn't deserve such weirdness. I'm just curious - are you ever home for periods of time where "A" and her BF are not? Do you ever let the dog out of their room to run around in their absence? If I could get away with it, I would. Poor little fella needs new owners. :-(

These are the types of people I have such a difficult time with. I just don't understand how they can treat a loving, trusting pet like that. A long time ago, I knew a couple that lived in a very small apartment with a black lab. When they went to work, they would lock the dog in their teeny-tiny bathroom - 8 hours a day. It upset me to no end. WHY have the dog? And if you have to have the dog, WHY choose a place so small with no yard and shut him up in a bathroom barely bigger than he is?

Why some people insist on having an animal they either don't want or refuse to treat properly is utterly beyond me. So many times I see people with Labs, Border Collies, Healers and other hyper, energetic breeds and cram them into a tiny apartment with no outdoor space. That's so cruel. If they must have a dog, why can't they get one better suited to that lifestyle, like a retired/rescued racing greyhound? Two minutes of research would tell them what breeds would and wouldn't match their lifestyle.

But nooooo.....those types of people always seem to insist on having a dog from a breeder. They're willing to spend hundreds of dollars to BUY a dog they're not going to breed, instead of rescuing an animal from the local shelters for a fraction of the cost. And then they dump on how much they don't like cats - which would actually be fine in a small apartment!

I know the shelters and rescues are horribly overcrowded, but the requirements for having an animal should be so much stricter and heavily enforced. I look at animals like permanent toddlers - they depend on their "parents" for their food, shelter and love. They put their complete trust and faith in us to take care of them and don't have any recourse should that be violated. I'd like to see animal abusers have the same fate as child molesters!

I hope Lucky gets a better, more loving home. No matter how badly behaved an animal is (whether it's the fault of the owner or that's just the way that animal is) they never ever deserve to be treated badly. How would "A" like it if SHE was locked up in her room all day/night? Sheesh!  >:-(

8whiskers said:

 
Poor Lucky. He doesn't deserve such weirdness. I'm just curious - are you ever home for periods of time where "A" and her BF are not? Do you ever let the dog out of their room to run around in their absence? If I could get away with it, I would. Poor little fella needs new owners. :-(

These are the types of people I have such a difficult time with. I just don't understand how they can treat a loving, trusting pet like that. A long time ago, I knew a couple that lived in a very small apartment with a black lab. When they went to work, they would lock the dog in their teeny-tiny bathroom - 8 hours a day. It upset me to no end. WHY have the dog? And if you have to have the dog, WHY choose a place so small with no yard and shut him up in a bathroom barely bigger than he is?

Why some people insist on having an animal they either don't want or refuse to treat properly is utterly beyond me. So many times I see people with Labs, Border Collies, Healers and other hyper, energetic breeds and cram them into a tiny apartment with no outdoor space. That's so cruel. If they must have a dog, why can't they get one better suited to that lifestyle, like a retired/rescued racing greyhound? Two minutes of research would tell them what breeds would and wouldn't match their lifestyle.

But nooooo.....those types of people always seem to insist on having a dog from a breeder. They're willing to spend hundreds of dollars to BUY a dog they're not going to breed, instead of rescuing an animal from the local shelters for a fraction of the cost. And then they dump on how much they don't like cats - which would actually be fine in a small apartment!

I know the shelters and rescues are horribly overcrowded, but the requirements for having an animal should be so much stricter and heavily enforced. I look at animals like permanent toddlers - they depend on their "parents" for their food, shelter and love. They put their complete trust and faith in us to take care of them and don't have any recourse should that be violated. I'd like to see animal abusers have the same fate as child molesters!

I hope Lucky gets a better, more loving home. No matter how badly behaved an animal is (whether it's the fault of the owner or that's just the way that animal is) they never ever deserve to be treated badly. How would "A" like it if SHE was locked up in her room all day/night? Sheesh!  >:-(

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Unfortunately when "A" and the BF is out, they lock their bedroom door. Its so ridiculous.

Sometimes my cat will go upto their door and try to bury, or scratch to get in. Charlie knows there is another animal in there and wants to play with Lucky (he's very social) but "A" doesn't even want her dog near my cats, even tho the very limited amount of times they have met (literally 2 or 3) my cats were fine, Lucky seemed a bit nervous, but no one killed each other. 

I just don't understand why some people do that. have a huge dog in a teeny tiny apartment and NEVER let  them out. big dogs in small apartments, that is actually quite common here in NYC, as a lot of the apartments are small. but people who do have large breed dogs take VERY good care of them. They always take their dogs out, there are so many dog parks in EVERY neighborhood. But certain people like "A" exist and it breaks my heart.

I could never subject my Jax to that. He's soo much happier at my BF's house. He's got a backyard to run around in, and a new doggy friend to be with (BF's mother has a poodle). I visit him as often as I can and it makes me so proud and happy to see him happy. He's energetic, he loves to play, and he slobbers all over me every time i see him. lol. it makes me a bit jealous that he's now become more my BF's dog, but my BF takes amazing care of him, so I am not worried there. as mentioned earlier, he's a 1 year old Pitbul, and he's getting quite large!

I agree with you and you are right about keeping cats in smaller spaces. Cats don't need to go outside to be active. Buy them some mouse toys, some string toys, scratching post, or even a cardboard box; entertainment and excersize for HOURS. but no, some people decide they're "dog people" and need their dogs to be cooped up all day, and never let them out even after coming home from work. How are you a "dog person"? you're not thinking of your dog's well being. 

I'm so gonna call a rescue group or animal control the minute i leave that place. right now if i did, it would be too obvious that it was me, even if i made an anonymous call. they know how i feel about the way they care for their dog, even if i didn't say anything to them directly. they've heard me talk about animal care and how i feel about it. i have quite a few choice words for them, but i don't think TCS allows cursing on this site. lol

That makes me wonder if her dog has been vaccinated at all. There must be some reason why she's so paranoid. 

Random Gemini said:

 
That makes me wonder if her dog has been vaccinated at all. There must be some reason why she's so paranoid. 

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They take their dog to the vet as they should.

I wouldn't say she's paranoid. 

She's more possessive of her animal/pet. As anyone would be, but she doesn't want anyone else interacting with her dog. For example, she doesn't want her dog getting positive attention from anyone in the house, except her and her BF. I know its just her because when she's not home, and her BF is, and Lucky is by chance out of the bedroom, the BF doesn't act weird if we pet Lucky and give him attention. But if she is the one that's around, we NEVER see Lucky, and by chance if we do, she will take Lucky and put him back in the bedroom.

She just doesn't want her dog to bond with anyone else. She's so weird.

It breaks my heart to see how all the dogs around our area are just let out to roam (most with no collar) and dig in the trash, chase people/small animals, cross the busy street. I am sure they are never taken to the vet and very few of them are neutered. I know we have a lot of feral cats and I would love to care for them but with the amount of dogs I just don't see many. I feel like people in lower income areas don't really understand why what they are doing is wrong.

I agree, they don't, because people don't take the time to educate them about the fact that a spay surgery costs 150$ and properly caring for a pregnant dog and her litter of puppies costs a couple thousand dollars. 

We have a low cost 'neuter scooter' mobile vet that comes through here from time to time. I try to get fliers up on the communal mailboxes, etc when I know it is happening. I don't know if it has ever done any good but I hope it has. Other than that I don't really try to educate. I am not sure how it would be taken, but my gut tells me it wouldn't be taken well.

I wanted to post an update on Lucky. As mentioned before, he is my room mates dog, or was my room mates dog.

Since the replies i've posted on this thread, there have been some updates:

1) i now have a THIRD cat. cue the crazy cat lady music if there is one. I found him in the streets and took him in. Plan was to keep him till I could find someone for him, or drop him off to a shelter so he can be adopted out...but we ended up keeping him.

2) I am moving into my own apartment, by the end of this month, and will not be in a room mate/shared living situation.

3) Lucky has been given away/sold i'm not sure which one, and has not been with us in this current house for about 1 month now BEST NEWS EVER

for the past 3-4 months, the BF has been living full time with me. Since living with me, my room mate "A"'s boyfriend and him have been getting along really well. In our living situation, we don't have any communal areas other than the kitchen and a long hallway. The house we live in does not have a "living room" or den area. A's boyfriend runs a small business out of their bedroom...buying and selling goods. Since my BF moved in, A's boyfriend will ask mine for help, and they would chill in his bedroom. My BF learned that in their bedroom, they have a huge doggy crate, with dog bed in it, and one of those water dispensing things you see in a gerbels cage...except bigger, and they keep lucky in that cage..ALL THE TIME. He initially thought that they kept lucky in there when A's BF had visitors to his room, but he actually keeps the dog in there all the time. one time my BF even said to A's boyfriend "you can let Lucky out its okay" but to that he replied "no he's always in there. don't worry about him"

Shock and awe that broke my heart for poor Lucky even more. 

But, he's been given away. THANK GOD. Or sold...I'm not sure which. but I know he went to a family who already had 2 other dogs, both the same breed as Lucky, who's a yorkie. and i'm certain that Lucky is now VERY LOVED and well cared for. What was the reason for giving Lucky away? A's boyfriend "R" says that he's too busy to take care of Lucky. He did recently get a new job that required a lot of time away from home understandable, and he also has his business. but A doesn't even work...she stays home ALL DAY. Why couldn't see care for him?? I guess living the life of a lazy stay at home nobody is pretty time consuming, as she didn't protest to R giving away Lucky. And if R had to tell me that he's too busy to take care of Lucky that makes me assume that she never did anything for Lucky.

Just wanted to share. Lucky's in a better home now. With better people that love him. and that makes me happy.