Roxy

My Roxy was diagnosed with two heart defects a few months ago after going into CHF. After a couple of rough weeks she pulled through and seemed to be well even though she was still a sick girl. Today I brought her to the vet for a checkup today even though I was worried the stress would be too much for her.  I knew deep down inside she might not be able to handle it.  I thought about canceling my appointment but I wanted the vet to confirm any worries I had about her condition and OK an increase in her medicine.  

I wish I hadn't because she had a heart attack and passed away.  It kills me because I knew the X-rays were too stressful for her and I told myself no X-rays but then I didn't say no when the time came.  I wanted to know if her lungs were getting better. And that's when it happened.  I'm so sad because I feel like it's my fault.  She was doing ok considering before this  and I put her in a stressful situation that she couldn't handle and her heart gave out.  I feel like I betrayed her.  I know in the end it was only a matter of time but if I didn't bring her to the vet today I would've had her with me for a few more weeks/months.  Maybe longer.  In the end she was scared and stressed.  I feel terribly guilty.  I miss her stinky breath and her little paws and her whiney little voice.  

Oh murrayhill, I am so sorry for your loss of Roxy. Please, please, do not feel guilty, it was her time.  You did the best for her, you were doing what you could to help her.  You were acting in love, trying to help her.  She KNOWS this.  This was not your fault, please don't blame yourself, Roxy would hate this..

I am so sorry, these things happen, I don't know why.. But ~ know that she loves you for taking her in to see how she was doing, know that she knows her best interest was your priority, know that she knows how much you did to try and help her.

Do not blame yourself friend, you acted with love, it was her time, I am so sorry for your loss, Roxy is now free without pain  ~ 

I don't know what to say except how very very sorry I am.
David's Steph is completely right.

I'm very sorry for your loss. She may or may not have had a heart attack even without the vet visit and X-rays. There's really no way of knowing, and no sense in blaming yourself for something you had no control over. Heart conditions are very unpredictable, and sudden death like that is preferable to throwing a clot on a weekend/during the night and being in a lot of pain until a vet can see you. That was always my greatest fear with our HCM cat (who passed away a year ago today), and I was grateful that he was spared that. What's important is that you were with her and showing her your love right up to the end.

RIP, Roxy.

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Please don't blame yourself...you were doing the best you could to represent someone who couldn't speak for herself.  When I think of all the cats out there that don't have kind people like you looking out for them, taking them to the vet and caring for them, it makes me sad.  She was fortunate to have had you, and you her.  I'm not the best at writing exactly what I mean, but I hope you can take comfort in everything you did for her.  

Thank you guys for saying such nice things.  These forums have been so helpful and supportive. I hope I can return the favor one day.  

I have been feeling a little better.  It was just a shock and it hit me a little hard.  I guess it always does.  I tried so hard and felt like I made a mistake. The guilt is hard but I know I was just trying to do what was best. I miss her so much but I'm glad it happened at the vet's office and I'm glad smothered her with hugs and kisses the night before.  I don't have to worry anymore about a clot or all her medicines or her going to into heart failure while I'm at work or in the middle of the night.  My poor girl.  She was only six.  Eventually when I'm up for it I think I'll find another cat or two who need taking care of in honor of my Roxy.  I think she tried to stay well for me as much as for herself.  

Now she can reach all of my closet shelves!

  It's natural to have feelings of guilt when our babies leave us, but remember, we would NEVER do anything intentionally to hurt them. You had no way of knowing that she would do this, you were only trying to help her.

  You two shared such a wonderful love and she will be in your heart forever. I cry for all of the pain you are feeling and will pray for healing. I know the pain can take your breathe away at times, let us share your pain and try to lessen your burden.

  Please know she would never want you to be so sad, she wants you to remember her with smiles instead of tears, and with happiness instead of anguish. Take care.....RIP beautiful Roxy!

I am so sorry.  I have to agree with others, you were helping her and there's no telling what in the future would have set this off. 

Beautiful Roxy