How do you accept?

I am sorry for your loss, and I know your pain. 9 months ago my sweet Cherise passed. It's been hard. There have been days where I'm beyond consolation and days that are ok. It's moment by moment really. I use distraction and avoidance as coping mechanisms to get me through my rough days. Take care of yourself and let time do the work. From the looks of it, there are lots of people here who can understand the deep sadness when your pet passes away.

Angela1573 said:

I am sorry for your loss, and I know your pain. 9 months ago my sweet Cherise passed. It's been hard. There have been days where I'm beyond consolation and days that are ok. It's moment by moment really. I use distraction and avoidance as coping mechanisms to get me through my rough days. Take care of yourself and let time do the work. From the looks of it, there are lots of people here who can understand the deep sadness when your pet passes away.

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Thank you. I miss him so much it feels like my heart will explode from the pain. He was so playful and adventurous. Even though I know what happened now it is still hard to accept.

cat nap said:

Hi @angels4mom
 , I think your scrapbook is beautiful.  It is such a cool idea.

I am not very artistic, but could I ask you how you actually cut the borders to those photos,  Are there special scissors to buy?

I also like the Poohbear theme, but I am more a "LionKing" fan, so I will try with that. 

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Here are more pictures of my scrapbook and of things I use. You can use rhinestones which are expensive if you want several colors or you can use a sheet of self adhesive bling for much less.

I love your little paw print page.    Are they stickers or a stamp you used?  (Or are you very good at drawing identical paw prints?   )

I forgot I have a sheet of stick on bling I got for making cards; I will have to dig them out and look out some of my 2 ​girls photos. I might put them together in to a little note book.    

Thank you again for sharing this.  I hope it is helping you, it is such a lovely thing to create.

I definitely think there's a time you can look back on a cat's memory and smile. I think about Patches and just feel love and happiness, and yes, still some sadness about having to put her to sleep, though I take comfort knowing she went peacefully.My sister's cat was just put to sleep a few days ago and I'm a mess about it because Sotchy deteriorated out of nowhere. Sounds like Cocoa went downhill suddenly to. I accept he's gone in the sense that he's at peace. I picture the final moments for both Patches and Sotches, and them gently losing consciousness then passing away and going to the rainbow bridge and I find some solace. Sotches was only seven years old.

Treasure the good times with your cat. They'd want that. Coca was beautiful. I'm so sorry.

MServant said:

I love your little paw print page. :heart4:   Are they stickers or a stamp you used?  (Or are you very good at drawing identical paw prints? :catguy:  )

I forgot I have a sheet of stick on bling I got for making cards; I will have to dig them out and look out some of my 2 ​girls photos. I might put them together in to a little note book.  :heart4:  
Thank you again for sharing this.  I hope it is helping you, it is such a lovely thing to create.

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The paw print page is a piece of scrapbook paper that came that way but you could use a rubber stamp on white SB paper. I'd suggest SB paper because it's acid free. Before you use your girl's pictures you may want to get copies made of them in case something happens to the original. AC Moore has tons of cool SB stickers. Flat ones and raised ones. Some craft stores have the keepsake envelopes you can put your cat's fur in. They're small. About 1-2 inches.

CBowdidge said:

I definitely think there's a time you can look back on a cat's memory and smile. I think about Patches and just feel love and happiness, and yes, still some sadness about having to put her to sleep, though I take comfort knowing she went peacefully.My sister's cat was just put to sleep a few days ago and I'm a mess about it because Sotchy deteriorated out of nowhere. Sounds like Cocoa went downhill suddenly to. I accept he's gone in the sense that he's at peace. I picture the final moments for both Patches and Sotches, and them gently losing consciousness then passing away and going to the rainbow bridge and I find some solace/

Treasure the good times with your cat. They'd want that. Coca was beautiful. I'm so sorry.

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Thank you. Yes he was and always will be beautiful. It's so hard to absorb this. Especially since I see him in my rooms. Sometimes when I play with Holly with the toy he liked too she looks at the stairway to see if he's coming. It's painful to see her hurting too.

MServant said:

I love your little paw print page. :heart4:   Are they stickers or a stamp you used?  (Or are you very good at drawing identical paw prints? :catguy:  )

I forgot I have a sheet of stick on bling I got for making cards; I will have to dig them out and look out some of my 2 ​girls photos. I might put them together in to a little note book.  :heart4:  
Thank you again for sharing this.  I hope it is helping you, it is such a lovely thing to create.

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The print paper came that way. You can use a rubber stamp too. I'd suggest getting copies of your photos first in case something happens. Then you have others.

Cats absolutely sense these things. Merlin keeps looking for Sotchy and that makes me tear up.  This morning when my sister left for school it seemed so strange not to have him come into my room and go to sleep under my bed, or meow at me for treats and pettings.

A scrapbook for Cocoa is a wonderful way to remember him,

angels4mom said:

The print paper came that way. You can use a rubber stamp too. I'd suggest getting copies of your photos first in case something happens. Then you have others.

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My girls crossed the RB a long time ago and I have many happy memories of them so it would be nice to put something together with old pictures I don't really look at.  I took thousands with old 35mm film and used to cut up ones that were bad compostition or funny of one person / cat but rubbish for the rest: I keep the good scraps in a box!  I've made loads of big collages over the years but mostly of kids adding in one of two of the cats when appropriate.  Doing it more as a little book and adding other little snippets sounds like fun to do.  Will look out for a stamper.

angels4mom said:

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• angels4mom
• Mar 10, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Mar 10, 2014

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• angels4mom
• Mar 10, 2014

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angels4mom said:

 

MServant said:

I love your little paw print page. 

  Are they stickers or a stamp you used?  (Or are you very good at drawing identical paw prints? 

 )

I forgot I have a sheet of stick on bling I got for making cards; I will have to dig them out and look out some of my 2 ​girls photos. I might put them together in to a little note book.  

 
Thank you again for sharing this.  I hope it is helping you, it is such a lovely thing to create.

Click to expand...

The paw print page is a piece of scrapbook paper that came that way but you could use a rubber stamp on white SB paper. I'd suggest SB paper because it's acid free. Before you use your girl's pictures you may want to get copies made of them in case something happens to the original. AC Moore has tons of cool SB stickers. Flat ones and raised ones. Some craft stores have the keepsake envelopes you can put your cat's fur in. They're small. About 1-2 inches.

Click to expand...

angels4mom said:

The print paper came that way. You can use a rubber stamp too. I'd suggest getting copies of your photos first in case something happens. Then you have others.

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Thanks for all this info @angels4mom  , I went out to a dollar store and got some stickers and was going to use an old scrapbook.  The lady there told me to try other stores, where they might have more selection.

I did not know about the "acid free paper", for scrapbooking, so I better get that, so the pages or photos don't deteriorate.  Also, walmart has those photo print out machines, so this will be good for me to make those photo copies, just in case I mess up the first ones.

I forgot to ask about which type of GLUE to use? Is it the ordinary white stuff, or clear, or special.

I too am still having a hard time trying to get over my young cat, Sparky's death.  Sometimes I wake up and think, "that didn't really happen", or else "that it was just not fair".  But I know that I have to move on, since both our cats are off on to some other journeys, somewhere, and my guy would not want me to be sad, whatsoever.

Two days ago I cried, because I saw this stupid window, in the laundry room, where he used to come in and out of, when he was an outdoor cat.  I thought, I hate that window.  Then 2 minutes later I realized that if it was not for that window, I would never have gotten him inside the house. The window is in the basement, and I had to coax him for 3 weeks to come inside. He was a stray.  I don't know, I think its good to cry, I just don't want to be sad anymore.

How are you doing with things?  Are the other cats keeping you busy?  Is it getting easier, and then some days its just bad?

Last night, Merlin was meandering around the house and found a toy spring-- which he likes to play with at random (just like anyting else on the floor) so I took it and threw it for him and played with him for a bit, and watching him play made me feel better. It's hard not to smile watching a cat run around so carefree.

My sister is making a scrapbook and shadow box to commemorate Sotches. 

CBowdidge said:

 
Cats absolutely sense these things. Merlin keeps looking for Sotchy and that makes me tear up.  This morning when my sister left for school it seemed so strange not to have him come into my room and go to sleep under my bed, or meow at me for treats and pettings.

A scrapbook for Cocoa is a wonderful way to remember him,

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@ CBowdidge, This happened to me too.  But it was my dog who went looking and sniffing where Sparky used to sleep, so when I saw this, initially I was sad, but then I  was kind of okay, and when my sister came home from work, I told her what happened, and she told me she thought he was looking outside for him too.  The sadness sometimes comes in waves. up and down.

CBowdidge said:

 
Last night, Merlin was meandering around the house and found a toy spring-- which he likes to play with at random (just like anyting else on the floor) so I took it and threw it for him and played with him for a bit, and watching him play made me feel better. It's hard not to smile watching a cat run around so carefree.

My sister is making a scrapbook and shadow box to commemorate Sotches. 

Click to expand...

Thanks for that. It is so true.  Watching a cat play is the best.  I also just laid on the floor and watched my senior cat just eat.  I think he thought I was hungry or something, but he continued to eat, and then when he was finished, he just looked at me, stretched and walked a few feet away. lol.  He later followed me, so all was good.

We lose a fur baby, we lose family, and the other pet loses a friend. Playing with a cat is the best remedy,  

I was thinking Merlin hadn't been in my room since Thursday and guess where he is now? Curled up on his favourite chair in my room.

First I want to express my heartfelt sympathy for everyone's loss of their beloved precious family member.   There is really nothing for us anyway that can be said to stop the beginning of this grief but knowing there are others out there does make a difference as many people in our face to face life just do not get it.

Anyway.. how do you accept?   I don't and won't ever.  My beloved sweet little boy died and sudden and tragic death of HCM (hyportrophic Cardiac Myopathy.  He was a color point persian mother white, father seal point called hymalyans but have the flat face since mixed with persians.   The breeder now that we have looked into this knew.   Muggins had some issues right from the start , smaller than his sister who has a different father, and a neurological disorder on his front leg that twitched when laying down.  He also panted when scared and my vet was suspicious because of his small size and panting of a possible heart condition, however throughout the years the heart never had any sounds suspicious or activity when examined and the panting went away pretty quicky.  He grew into a 13 pound beauty and was as sweet as can be, active,content did however have bouts of vomiting for no reason fixed with a 1/4 pepcid AC prescribed.

I saw him 10 minutes before I walked into the living room to see why he did not come for dinner and picked him up brought him into the kitchen sat him down and he had no use of his hind legs anymore, they were cold and no feeling.  I knew immediately we had lost him having worked for a vet that it was not a break or disc problem but blood flow and more than not a clot.   We were right,   

I am livid that the breeder unlike many that know now of this and 40 percent of persians are affected some will die within weeks or months if both parenets carry the gene yet still are breeding and not conducting regular testing.  Eventually the persian, rag doll, hymalyans, exotics will be extinct as money is the concern not the horrible deaths these cats will face.  The only saving grace was he was in no pain as most are in excruciating pain from this.   

No I can never accept.. I am angry why a sweet little boy was taken from us.  Angry very few breeders are talking or advising clients of this.  The few that are offer a 6 year pet guarantee when its 5-7 years most start to fail or die like this.  The money has never been a option for us and taking it back kinda of a trade off and would not want it.  Nor can we ever get another and go through this with such high odds and lack of respoinsibility from breeders and trust.   

His sister cannot be told waht happened  It is like losing your kid and never knowing where he is she just keeps looking and will not let us out of her sight , stares at the bedroom door for hours hoping he appears its been 5 weeks.

We are jdevestated and cannot seem to get through this one....   thanks for letting me share... my prayers are for each of you that you can heal and your heart be calmed i just do not think it will ever be possible for us.

I'm so sorry! It's much harder to accept it when it's sudden. I'm having a much more difficult time accepting Sotchy's death because it was so sudden with no warning, than I did with Patches because I knew  with Patches that there was only one ending that her story would realistically have. Sotches should have had ten more years with us.

It's awful the breeders knew and said nothing.

Muggins was beautiful. Please don't let the pain and anger overpower the good times. 

What a precious baby, Tinker Place. My heart cries for you although nothing in the world can be said that brings comfort and peace. Please know there are many of us that suffer along with you, some silently, some with anger, and some with a deep relentless agony that never seems to quit. I agree that the breeders should be made accountable, they should not be able to  register or even sale any kittens from a line that is proven to carry these bad genes. Somehow the laws need to be changed. Hit them hard where it would hurt them the most, with huge fines! Obviously it doesn't bother them to sentence a kitten and the people who love them to unspeakable pain and horror. Please know I empathize with you. Please kiss his sister for me, give her the love and care she needs right now. I'll pray for your family and for your sweet boy's soul. Bless you for loving so much to hurt so bad, take care of yourself.

cat nap said:

Thanks for all this info @angels4mom
 , I went out to a dollar store and got some stickers and was going to use an old scrapbook.  The lady there told me to try other stores, where they might have more selection.

I did not know about the "acid free paper", for scrapbooking, so I better get that, so the pages or photos don't deteriorate.  Also, walmart has those photo print out machines, so this will be good for me to make those photo copies, just in case I mess up the first ones.

I forgot to ask about which type of GLUE to use? Is it the ordinary white stuff, or clear, or special.

I too am still having a hard time trying to get over my young cat, Sparky's death.  Sometimes I wake up and think, "that didn't really happen", or else "that it was just not fair".  But I know that I have to move on, since both our cats are off on to some other journeys, somewhere, and my guy would not want me to be sad, whatsoever.
Two days ago I cried, because I saw this stupid window, in the laundry room, where he used to come in and out of, when he was an outdoor cat.  I thought, I hate that window.  Then 2 minutes later I realized that if it was not for that window, I would never have gotten him inside the house. The window is in the basement, and I had to coax him for 3 weeks to come inside. He was a stray.  I don't know, I think its good to cry, I just don't want to be sad anymore.

How are you doing with things?  Are the other cats keeping you busy?  Is it getting easier, and then some days its just bad?

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I'm hanging in. I had a huge crying spell a short time ago. I begged Cocoa to come back. That we need him. Except for my mom's death I never knew my heart could hold such pain. Sometimes when I was in the bathroom he would play with my fingers when I moved them back and forth along a shelf. Now when I'm there I do it and it seems his little spirit is playing with me. He used to scoop dried poops out of the litter box and play soccer with them. Sometimes I see him do it. He used to swat the shower curtain when I was showering. He was an amazing kitty who stole my heart then took it with him. I love all of my cats but there was something different about my Cocoa. A much stronger friendship and bond. I find permanent glue sticks best. Less messy and doesn't leave it lumpy. Mandie and Holly keep me busy but it doesn't help much. They need me now though.

I've had a few crying spells, but since playing with Merlin last night, none. Maybe playing with him released something or lightened something.  When I went to bed last night I thought I heard Sotchy under my bed. . .before realizing that wasn't possible.

I think that my first cat, Patches, guided Sotches to my sister, and Merlin to me. Now Sotches is guiding cats to loving furrever homes.