Putting Down my Old Kitty- Need Support

After 18 years of life I've finally decided to have my old lady kitty put to sleep.  I've always known that she wasn't going to live forever and dreaded the day it would have to happen, but it still doesn't make it any easier.  She's gotten to where she doesn't groom herself at all, steps in her poop and gets it stuck in her fur, and doesn't do much besides sleep.  Doing the daily brushing necessary to keep her looking decent and washing her at least once a week when it takes her overnight to dry is super traumatic for her, and I don't want to wait until she goes completely downhill to do something about it.  I feel horrible about it, though, because she acts like her old self sometimes and still shows me some love when I offer her kitty treats.  She's never been a friendly cat, so it's hard to tell how she's feeling some of the time but I don't think I should keep dragging her along. 

I've already made the decision and had my mom make the appointment for her on Friday (I didn't feel like calling myself), with the vet that we usually use.  My mom offered to go with me for it, but I don't really want to have folks go along with me.  She and my father are going to come by tomorrow night to say bye to her, and I got her a can of super special cat food for that morning.  I guess I just need reassuring words from other people that have also had to go through this rough time...

I have never had to have a kitty put down but my thoughts are with you at this sad time.

I'm so sorry. It's such a hard decision but it sounds like you're doing what's best for her.

Are you bringing her home to bury her or having her cremated and getting her ashes, or just leaving her at the vets office?  These are all things you should have decided before you go. It helps to know the whole procedure ahead of time so you dont have to make any sudden decisions.  Do you want to be with her or not?  If yes, does the vet give a preop type of shot first and give you time for her to drift off before the final shot?  (Some vets insist on putting in a catheter out of your sight and then bringing the cat back to you -- NOT a good plan for the cat, extra pain and stress!) 

Here is a link to a web site from a local group that does at home euthanasia.  You can read about the process and be prepared.  The preop shot in the butt which stings for a second but is then done is really the best way, and your cat will gently drift off to sleep, JUST sleep, in 5 minutes or so, after which the vet can find a vein for the final shot without causing your cat any pain or stress.  My vet uses Ketamine for this.  It is always peaceful and they have gone to sleep in my arms, purring.

Here is the link to the Sweet Dreams web site where you can click on "Helpful Info" to start.   I think it will help you know what to expect and what to ask for.

http://www.sweetdreamsgeorgia.com/

My heart goes out to you as you reach this decision.  I have been there too, once with a girl almost 18, and then with her sister just before she reached 22.  With my second girl at 22 it was very similar in that I was making a decision on quality of life rather than there being an iminent health concern tht I was trying to avoid for her.   I believe you know when the right time comes for you and your cat, and you should feel comfortable with what your vet plans to do - whether you choose to remain with your cat or not (and you may not make that choice until you arrive there in the room with your vet).  

Treasure all the time you have had with your cat, I believe there is something special in all bonds we share with cats, and the space we give them in our hearts, and remember that precious moments and memories are always with you.  There is a thread started by another member here on TCS that talks about what you are going through at this time and I am posting the link here in the hope that it will be helpful for you:

http://www.thecatsite.com/t/237066/when-the-moment-comes

I am so sorry.  It sounds like you have very caring parents, and I'm sure they will be of comfort in helping you get through this difficult time.  It's never easy, but I am glad you have great people by your side.  

After 18 years of sharing your life with someone, it's terribly hard to let go. Your heart doesn't care if the one it is losing is furry or human, it just hurts. The fact that your sweet baby made it to 18 years old shows what a wonderful family she had, and what great care she received. It means the world to her that you are by her side, you are her whole world.Let the love you two share comfort you, and help you in your decisions. It helps to share your pain with others who know what you are going through. Bless you for loving her so much that you hurt so bad. I'll pray for you both and keep you in my thoughts.

for strength and peace tomorrow. It's a tough decision and experience.

I'm very sorry

 I am so sorry you are having to make this decision.  I think the suggestions the others have made are good points, so you are prepared when you go in.

On your mom taking you, If it were me, I would want that. I would be too upset to drive home after. I think it would be really nice to have her/them there to help comfort you, &

do the driving. God bless you, I can not even imagine what you must be feeling. You will both be in my prayers.   

Red Top Rescue said:

 
Are you bringing her home to bury her or having her cremated and getting her ashes, or just leaving her at the vets office?  These are all things you should have decided before you go. It helps to know the whole procedure ahead of time so you dont have to make any sudden decisions.  Do you want to be with her or not?  If yes, does the vet give a preop type of shot first and give you time for her to drift off before the final shot?  (Some vets insist on putting in a catheter out of your sight and then bringing the cat back to you -- NOT a good plan for the cat, extra pain and stress!) 

Here is a link to a web site from a local group that does at home euthanasia.  You can read about the process and be prepared.  The preop shot in the butt which stings for a second but is then done is really the best way, and your cat will gently drift off to sleep, JUST sleep, in 5 minutes or so, after which the vet can find a vein for the final shot without causing your cat any pain or stress.  My vet uses Ketamine for this.  It is always peaceful and they have gone to sleep in my arms, purring.

Here is the link to the Sweet Dreams web site where you can click on "Helpful Info" to start.   I think it will help you know what to expect and what to ask for.

http://www.sweetdreamsgeorgia.com/

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Her body will be staying at the vet to be cremated, and I'll be picking the ashes up when they come back.  I'm well aware that she will no longer be "in there" when I get them back, but I don't want to discard her body and regret not having her ashes later.  There's no way that I wouldn't be with her through the entire process, and the vet knows that already.  Thanks for bringing these issues up- I wouldn't want to be caught off guard when I got there!  My parents came to visit her, and my brother even came along.  They're being very supportive, and it's helping a lot.  This cat has been a part of their lives almost as long as I have, so they're sad about her passing as well.  She's always been generally unpleasant towards others, and tonight was no exception.  I guess it wouldn't really be fitting for her to suddenly turn into a social butterfly.

To make matters worse, I had to take my young cat in this morning for a urinary infection.  Noticed this morning that she was having some troubles, and they were luckily able to get her in early this morning.  She's acting perfectly fine, but the last thing I need is for my other kitty to be having problems when elder kitty is being put down

Thanks for the best wishes, everyone.  It really means a lot. 

I feel the pain in your heart.  Twice I have had to make this decision, and it was always a lead weight in my chest.  As a matter of sensibility, I would suggest you do have someone go with you.  Although I'm a tough old gal and was fine right up to the moment my babies took their final breath in my arms, I totally lost it after that, and was bawling so hard there was no way I could have safely driven myself home.  That's just me.

No matter what you decide, my heart goes out to you and your old girl.  Bless you both, and good journey.  ..

You are in my thoughts today.

Very sorry to hear about your baby. When my first cat finally had to leave us, I was unable to be there when they took her in and it broke my heart(though I did get to see her on her last day). I hope you are able to find some peace over this tough time.  

I have had to do this 3 times and it never gets easy. My heart goes out to you. Boots was 17 and to this day i regret that I didn't stay with him. Ali was just 10 and BJ 13. I was with both of them at the end. It's so hard and so sad, but I felt better knowing I stayed with them.

My deepest condolences!

My thoughts are with you, I hope you have friends and family around you, and your young cat feeling well and there to curl up with.      

MServant said:

 
My thoughts are with you, I hope you have friends and family around you, and your young cat feeling well and there to curl up with.  

  

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I'm snuggling with my young cat right now

Thanks again for the well wishes, everyone.  I was second guessing my decision all night, but I knew that I wouldn't ever be SURE about it unless she was almost dead.  I sat with her until about 2 am this morning... I knew that once I went to sleep that I wouldn't have another night with her.  I'll probably feel worse later, but I feel like I did the right thing.  The vet gave her a sedation shot, and left us while she fell asleep in my arms.  Came back and shaved a little patch off her leg for the injection, and he put the fur in a little bag for me.  She was gone pretty quickly after he gave it to her.  The vet and tech were great through everything, and I feel better now that it's actually happened. 

That is how my vet did it when I went with Pal, except the fur which sounds a lovely option to have.  It sounds peaceful if sad.   Thank you for the update.   May your youngster keep up with that cuddling for you. 

I am sorry for what your kitty is going through i have lost my cat of 15 years and I think it would be very difficult for me to put her down but if it's the best for her i would probably choose to put her down my condolences are with you.