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Important! Please read re: Underage Posters - Page 3  

post #61 of 88
Thread Starter 
We just don't have very many members here your age, but that doesn't mean we won't accept you. We don't have many men posting here either, but we accept them too.

I agree with what many of you have said here - the internet is a fantastic resource!! I honestly can't believe my sister doesn't have the internet at all, even though their intentions are good to keep their two boys away from the bad stuff. But they are right, there are a lot of bad things on the internet, and if a parent isn't keeping an eye out, especially for the younger ones, they can inadvertantly stumble onto some nasty stuff. It happened to a friend of mine. Her 10 year old was surfing and was looking for some dolls. My friend knew what she was looking for. But when she typed in the address she thought it was (and by all accounts you would think it would be!) a porno site came up. Her daughter told her right away, but that is why parents need to be diligent with their kids about the internet.
post #62 of 88
That's not entirely true RBK we have other teenagers that come here. Sam just comes here more is all, and gave us all a chance to really know her-
post #63 of 88
Up until 3 years ago, I had no clue what Chat, Forums or Websites etc....meant. And...I am computer literate however, I am more or less still at the "Internet For Dummies" stage.

About 1 year ago, I was so badly hooked that I would literally keep my computer on all night and jump out of bed when I received an email alerting me to the fact that someone had replied to a thread.

At home, at work, driving etc... my thoughts were focused on the computer.

I spent less time with the children... hurried through homework.... made meals that didn't take long to prepare etc..., all so that I could be online more often.

I have made wonderful, dear friends here online that I will cherish forever. However.... having said that, I can assure you that I did totally lose sight of the 'real world'.

I still spend time online. Just not as much and I make sure that my family comes first.

The reality check hit me hard. I was at the point that I didn't care if all my family walked away etc... because I had this. My keyboard and my monitor.

It becomes a very scary thing when you lose sight of everything and everyone around.

Personally, I do think age matters. Maybe not to the child that is being told that 'no, you can't spend all night online.' But it will some day. Especially when that child has a child of their own.

I have an 8 yr old and a 5 year old. Are they allowed online? Yes.... Am I right there behind them watching what they are doing? You can bet am I! Do they have limited time online? Definately.... and with me it's not so much time per day, it's so much time per week. Once a week (if that) I will tell my oldest one he can go online for a while. For him, it's a treat. He doesn't really ask that often anyways.

Just knowing that 'maybe' one of my boys may end up going through an addictive period like I did is enough to scare and worry me.

I think that as long as you don't center your life around being online then you're ok. And if TCS is the one place you love to be, then you definately have no worries as it is a wonderful, family oriented place.

I've always enjoyed reading Sam's posts (she is the only one that age that I know of here) and personally, I think she is mature enough to be here and I don't see any of "me" in her posts. You can almost tell when someone has made internet life the only life they want to be part of.

Just don't let that happen... no matter what age you are, because trust me... it can happen to anyone. And it can happen fast. The difference here is that at 13 you don't really know better yet, but at 36... you should.
post #64 of 88
Originally posted by Tigger
Just how old was this kid that was on here?
post #65 of 88
I know of a lady with two kids, this lady is on the computer all day and all night- she has a business. Her kids have computers in their bedrooms. One day this woman got an email from her 9 year old daughter- it said "mama I don't feel good" the little girl was in her bedroom. The mom goes into the kids room to find her daughter vomiting blood! The next day, all the computers were heaved out of the house and the home is now computerless.
post #66 of 88
Oh Ghys.. Like Jenn your post made me sad.

It's sad how someone can get "addicted" to the internet like that.

Thanks for your sweet words!
post #67 of 88
Originally posted by hissy
I know of a lady with two kids, this lady is on the computer all day and all night- she has a business. Her kids have computers in their bedrooms. One day this woman got an email from her 9 year old daughter- it said "mama I don't feel good" the little girl was in her bedroom. The mom goes into the kids room to find her daughter vomiting blood! The next day, all the computers were heaved out of the house and the home is now computerless.

That makes me sad.
post #68 of 88
Wow, that's really sad. My dad is a computer programmer so he spends time with computers a lot, so he makes sure that I don't get addicted or go to any bad websites. I don't have my own computer, but I don't want one. At this point, I feel that all I need is Anastasia, my kitten that I've wanted all my life.
post #69 of 88
Originally posted by russian_blue_kitten
Wow, that's really sad. My dad is a computer programmer so he spends time with computers a lot, so he makes sure that I don't get addicted or go to any bad websites. I don't have my own computer, but I don't want one. At this point, I feel that all I need is Anastasia, my kitten that I've wanted all my life.
That's a good thing!!!

Keep Anastasia close!
post #70 of 88
It's sad but it isn't cause I smartened up and all is well now! *pats self on head*

Hissy.... I heard about that story too. Glad she smartened up before it was really too late.
post #71 of 88
Sam, yeah I always will. Since she's my first cat I love her with all my heart already.
post #72 of 88
If in fact the children were not home, that is an even bigger crime! No 11 year old should be left home unattended for that many hours as that child was obviously.

Originally posted by Tigger
And, I am not arguing, but could it have been possible that maybe the parents were not at home? I think it's wrong for anyone to judge a parent when no one really knows what went on.
post #73 of 88
I think the real problem with parents/kids and the internet is that the kids are more computer savvy than the adults. We as parents need to educate ourselves to make it safer for our kids. Do my children get online? Yup, the 7 and 5 year old do. They're huge fans of Nick.com and the Disney website. Do they do it without my guidance? Nope. In addition to my supervision we've taken the precaution of firewalling the "kid" computer to h*** and back. Their computer is in a common room of the house and they don't get online without permission. As a side note, the only reason we have two computers is that we combined households...you know how that can go. As they get older the firewalls will stay in place AND we will be getting software to compliment them.

I tend to be an uptight Mom about certain things. At no point will there be a computer in a childs bedroom in my home. They don't have TV's in bedrooms either. Gee, come to think of it I try and keep toys out of the bedroom too...makes time-outs more effective if all they can do is sit on the bed and stare at the wall.
post #74 of 88
I am posting for Anne here. Anne is bound by Federal Law to keep all underage children from posting unless there is a parental form sent in. If anyone is found to be underage, and using this board without that form, they will be removed immediately. No questions asked. She will follow COPPA rules plain and simple. And she hopes that if anyone notices a child on the board, instead of engaging them in conversation, that they simply report the post and their suspicions to a moderator and let the mods do what they do to try and discover the truth.

This is a compelling thread in parts, but there is no issue to argue or debate here. The law is the law and it will be followed to the best of her ability to do so, with the help of her moderators.
post #75 of 88
whoah...this topic went somewhere else than it was originally intended...but i do want to add in my two cents.

people need to give children more credit, because when treated like they are responsible, they will ACT responsible. i was an old soul myself, and have always acted at least 15-20 years older than i really am. i happen to think that the age limit thing for this particular board is silly, but i'll abide by it. children understand a LOT more than some of you give them credit for.

i agree with tigger; we DON'T know the circumstances of why the child was on-line and it's not really fair to say her parents were irresponsible. for all we know, they're both busting their a$$es trying to pay the bills working 1-2 jobs each....
post #76 of 88
I was probably kind of like you then, when you were younger I am 27 and have always gotten along better with people 5-10 years older than me. Why? I dont know. I can say though part of it is because it's a lot harder to make friends your own age because they have their friendships established already. Or, I have found things in common with them, etc. I have also found that people of my generation are conceited, etc. Or, they feel that getting drunk at a bar every Friday is fun. Or, because since I am married, have nothing really in common with those who are unmarried.
So, it could also be possible that this underage poster felt like they belonged or are more mature for their age than what some may have thought. Just look at kids today .. You've got kids who are 13 and 14, who look like they are 18+ because of the way they dress, act, look.

I also think this is a very interesting thread, and hope it does not get locked.
post #77 of 88
I don't see it getting locked. It may seem silly to you Raggie's Mom, but it is the law and Federal law at that. It is not something that Anne decided on her own to enforce, she is bound by the law when she signed on to be a webmistress here. This is a friendly community of accepting adults, sadly, this is not the case in many bulletin board communities. Take a look at the cyber angels website to see how many pedophiles, perverts and sicko adults are out in the cyberspace looking for kids. This is why this law was enacted, and on bulletin boards when a lot of information gets passed around, children (old souls or not) are easy prey.
post #78 of 88
Originally posted by Tigger
I can also say that there are a lot of quacks out there who pretend to be children just to be funny.
Very true statement. You honestly can never be too sure who and what age is posting on the other end of that screen name.
post #79 of 88
All I can say is that there are a lot of boards on the net that probably have this little policy the gov't has, but there are still ways to get around it. Heck, even a child can get into their parents email address and pretend they are the parent. It's almost impossible to stop someone, unless you ban their IP or domain, and even then, that does not always work. There are a lot of intelligent so-called kids out there, as well.
post #80 of 88
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by Tigger
All I can say is that there are a lot of boards on the net that probably have this little policy the gov't has, but there are still ways to get around it.
This isn't a "little policy". It is FEDERAL LAW. Every board that is based or hosted in the United States is subject to this LAW. Some may not enforce it, and when they are found to have knowingly allowed under 13 year olds to post without parental permission their sites will be shut down.

Of course there will be those who try. Obviously you've never monitored something like this. It is obvious when a child is posting, no matter what age they put in the profile. There is a big difference between a 10 year old trying to be 30, and a 16 year old trying to be 18. And if an adult posts as a child and says they are under 13, they will be banned too. And if a child tries again and again to sign on (it has happened before), their IP address is banned.

Get a grip. This is not up for debate. It is LAW!
post #81 of 88
All I made was a statement. Why is it when I say something, it seems like you have to make it sound like I am being some horrible person or however you want to look at it? It was a statment which you took out of context. So, I said policy instead of law.
post #82 of 88
Actually, I'm glad I'm learning this here. I have a message board on my Hope's Paul Stanley Page website. I remember when a 10 year old kid joined up. A lot of the members were getting really uncomfortable with him being there, because they couldn't understand why a child at age 10 would want to converse with a bunch of adults. I didn't know the law about this, (I know ignorance is no excuse), so I allowed him to take part in my board. Fianlly, I had to ban his ISP, because people complained so much about him being there. I am glad I'm learning that there is a 13 year old age limit.
post #83 of 88
SIGH...you know, people are getting really bent out of shape over this. Hissy, I UNDERSTAND that it is a law, and i'm allowed to say i find it to be silly. if you kept reading, i said i'd abide by it and i accept it. but as my FIL says "opinions are like a**holes; EVERYONE has one."

as far as i can see, no one has been debating this policy/law/whatever you want to call it at this point. (YES. i understand it is federal law) i don't see why it's a problem to say that you don't agree with something. it's not like we're going to go out and find as many 12 year olds as we can and to get them to join the board. lighten up people! this post is in IMO and that's what everyone is doing; stating their opinions. this whole forum has been on edge all week.

yes, tigger, you and i are in the same boat; i loathe people my own age for the most part. i don't drink, i don't try to "get with" as many people as possible, i'm married. i was born and raised with a sense of morals and responsibility and at times, i feel like an alien species or something. (people as a whole have REALLY been failing their children these last 25 or so years. yes parents, you dropped the ball.) when i was 10, i spent my time inside during recess reading biographies of famous people, and college-level texts...or i preferred to talk to my teachers rather than people my own age. by the time i was 14, i had people convinced who met me in person that i was in GRADUATE school. had i been on-line at the time, i also would have had you all here convinced of that as well.

i do agree with some of the other things that have been said; you really should moniter the internet use of your children. we didn't get on-line access until i was almost 15 and i had some bad experiences and went into "virtual" hiding for almost 6 months before i did anything except check my email and get off. i STILL can't play interactive games in yahoo; it has too many bad memories for me. i had a plethora of people try to "cyber" with me...and i picked up an internet stalker who told me things like he was going to visit me in my dreams (a math major in CA...). i'm only saying this so that people don't think that i'm living in a rose-colored la-la land (which is the impression i'm beginning to get). i UNDERSTAND the dangers of the internet as i have experienced them first hand. and i UNDERSTAND why this law is in place. but i'm allowed to think that the 13 year old rule is silly for a site like this one. if that makes me a bad person, then so be it.
post #84 of 88
Thread Starter 
Actually, this isn't IMO. It's The Cat Lounge. It was posted to bring attention to the law that we have to abide by, because most people don't know that it is a law.

It appeared that people were arguing just to argue. If it is that important to converse with people under 13 years old, then there are places you can go to do it. But it isn't going to happen here - not if we can help it.
post #85 of 88
13 year old rule is silly? I could go on and on with this topic so I'll try to summarize to spare you all...

As a mom of a 13 year old I am TRULY grateful that TCS has this policy and enforces it. More boards should do the same. Call me "silly" or old fashion but in no way shape or form is my 13 year allowed to hang out online with adults for hours on end, unsupervised... (I mean no offense - this is strictly my opinion and parenting style. ) It's just that I have a hard time understanding what in the world a 13 year old would have in common with a bunch of adults...

Anyway, my son is only allowed on the internet with my husband or myself present - even with our mega-firewall he is not permitted to surf alone. We allow him a certain amount of time to look up "fun things" that he is interested in like paint ball, skateboards and motorcycling... He also uses the net for research papers, book reports, etc... other than that he's outside playing with his friends.

post #86 of 88
I have to agree with Heidi here. This thread was started to alert members to COPPA and to ask them to do their part in bringing suspected underage posters to the attention of moderators. If some of you want to debate the merits of this law to death, I would suggest you begin a debate on the subject over to IMO. Sounds more to me like people want to debate a point that, frankly, isn't up for debate here.
post #87 of 88
I agree with you Kim - I don't think kids should be spending a lot of time on the internet - they should be outside, enjoying life, playing with their friends and not behind a monitor typing away. I think it is sad that kids feel that they need to be on the internet to meet people. When I was 12 I was doing normal things like any kid. I do feel more comfortable with people older than me, but still, I need to be doing things that are appropriate for my age as well.
post #88 of 88
Besides, don't most 13 year olds NOT want adults around? But as Deb and Heidi have said, this is not debate class, nor is it IMO. We just hope that the members will alert us if they suspect new members are joining us that are underage. And so with this being said, this thread is now being locked down.

Thank you all for your responses, especially you sockies mom. It has been a very enlightening post, but leaving it open would mean just beating a dead horse that doesn't need to be beat.
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