Doctor says its terminal and the end, but he still eats and seems happy...What to do???

My 9year old Milo he is still as sweet as can be and never stops purring.  However, last month I found a lump under his left arm and noticed he had lost some weight as well.  After the first vet visit, the cytology came back positive for cancer cells. Next step was a punch biopsy to see what kind of cancer. Two weeks later he went in for he biopsy and they decided to take a lung x-ray given he lost 2 more pounds in just 2 weeks!  Then the bad news - its metastasized to his lungs!  At that point, in the nicest way possible, the vet said, I am sorry but now you have to decide when its time.  But how do I do that when he will still eat out of my hand, he still cuddles all the time, and never stops purring.  Outside of the weight loss I wouldn't know he was that ill!   My biggest concern of course his quality of life. So this is where I am stumped.  If I can try and keep him from losing anymore weight then why jump to putting him down? Then I think, am I just prolonging the inevitable and if he has lost so much weight can he really be comfortable?

My whole family says why wait until he is in pain and begins to wither away. Listening to their advice makes me feel like I am ending his life too early.  The doctor seems to think she would consider letting go, otherwise give him steroids to possible reduce the size of the tumors as well as stimulate an appetite...but for how long? Do I just do it until I see he is uncomfortable? That sounds awful too!

I have never had to put down an animal before and I am so confused and my heart is breaking for my little man.  I don't want to make him hold on for me, I want to do what is best for Milo!

Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

Ash - a very confused and upset mommy

Welcome to TheCatSite. I do wish you were here under better circumstances and I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

It really is a tough decision. I had to do it once and I just knew when my cat had enough and it was time.

I'm going to give you a few links that may help:

http://www.veterinarypracticenews.c...olumns/bond-beyond/quality-of-life-scale.aspx

http://www.thecatsite.com/a/when-is-it-time-making-the-difficult-decision

Good luck We are here for support. :nod:

I have been dealing with a similar situation sort of.  My cat was diagnosed with a heart condition and has severe hip dysplasia in one hip (needs surgery) and moderate to severe in the other hip and has one front leg with considerable arthritis.  My vet that I work for recommended that I consider his quality of life and euthanize because of the extreme amount of pain all his joints are giving him.  Boy am I glad I didn't think twice about that.  He is still happy, never stops purring and active, well not as active as he could be but he eats like a horse etc.  I have him on a butt load of meds and supplements and he is making improvements.  IMO if the cat is still happy and eating, I would do whatever it takes to keep them around.  If they don't seem to enjoy life, that's when I make that decision.  My cat DeeJay may or may not have intestinal cancer.  So far we are just seeing how she does, but we may end up putting her on Prednisolone to keep the cancer at bay. 

Excellent article and good links attached to comments. 

http://cats.answers.com/health/cat-euthanasia-knowing-when-to-say-good-bye

Thank you so much for you support and your site recommendations.  As I read through them I realize how is level of happiness and comfort seem reasonable high.  He still plays with me, he never stops purring, and he is eating.  I am going to watch him very closely over the next few days and continuing assessing the situation.  

Thank you again.  This forum is so helpful! 

In our area, there is an in-home euthanasia group called Sweet Dreams.  I am sending you a link because on their various tabs they explain EVERYTHING about the euthanasia process they use. Not all vets take advantage of the pre-anesthesia shot, but that makes it much more comfortable for you and for your cat as you can hold her while she's going to sleep from a shot of ketamine, the medicine they use to put them to sleep just for surgery, and she will purr her way quietly to sleep in your arms.  She will not be gone at that time, just truly sleeping.  It's important to know everything before you actually have to do it. That takes the fear out of it and makes sure it's the best possible, most comfortable exit for your animal's soul.  Here is the link:

http://www.sweetdreamsgeorgia.com/

Also, it's hard to explain this, but if you stay close to him and don't go into denial, you will instinctively know when it's time.  They have a way of telling you without having to go so far as to be in massive pain.  I had one ancient cat with end stage kidney disease that climbed into the litterbox and lay there, clearly telling me that he felt like poop.  I told him how sorry I was he felt bad and made his appointment for that afternoon and spent the next couple of courses cuddling him and saying goodbye.  After a quick shot in the butt, he purred in my arms about 10 minutes before he was totally in pre-op sleep.  No pain, no struggle.  After that, the vet came back to find the vein and let him slip deeper and then away.  I put him back in his carrier and drove him home, talking to him the whole way.  He lay in state for the other cats to say goodbye while I dug his grave.  The azalea bush I planted over him is big now, and there are others near him, as that was many years ago.  After that, all you can do is cry and mourn -- there is no way to avoid grief.  You can't run away from it or jump right past it, the only way out of grief is through it.  And you will love again, but his place in your heart will always be his.

The hardest time is actually the time you are going through NOW, not the actual day you let him go, because living one day at a time, listening to his unspoken messages, feeling his soul and well-being, etc. and not knowing when he will need to move on is truly the hardest part.  One day at a time.  You might try the steroid shots form the vet as they DO make cats brighter and more comfortable.  Cats, unlike dogs and humans, tolerate steroids very well and don't seem to have any bad reactions.  That might buy him some more quailty time with you.

I can tell you are not being selfish about holding onto him, and you have the courage and commitment to let him go when his quality time has run out.  But as you said, right now he is still having quality time, so love him and enjoy it.  Don't cry today, just love him.  You can cry when you have to let him go, but not now.  Stay in today.  I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but look how fast you are growing from it. 

I am sorry that you are going through this, it's always a tough decision.  One thing I would like to interject don't put too much stock in the purring.  Cat's will also purr as a self soothing behavior, it isn't always happiness.

While I agree about the self-soothing purring, like a mama cat in labor may purr, there is a difference with a sick cat.  If he purrs when you pet him, all the time, but isn't just lying around purring to himself, you can be pretty sure it's not self-soothing, it's responding to love.  PLUS he's EATING and he's PLAYING, so he's not suffering.  He still has time to live and love and be loved.

Love him a bit longer! Talk to him! These times are precious and will help both of you!

I am so sorry your baby is sick. 

THANK YOU.  I love the part about him telling me when he is ready.  I do believe that and my parent's dog did this as well.  Your story and words really helped.  

 Ash

Wow I had no idea!  Thank you for letting me know.  He is actually purring me than normal now that you mention it.  It is also a different type of purr if I think back to a few months ago!

I'm in the same position myself. There is a tumour on or near her liver. Watching and waiting, and making daily, sometimes hourly judgment calls. Have been doing this for two months now. A few minor adjustments in food and meds can make a world of difference. Constantly check hydration level. What seems like a downslope could just be dehydration. My lovely old girl is happy, wants/demands to be around people, curious about her environment, has attitude. Strong enough to make the jump from the window to the bed with grace and ease. She's a beautiful jumper. Her grooming is not what it used to be. I've been doing a lot of brushing (very enjoyable) and some dematting (tolerated for very short amounts of time) and the occasional trim. Enjoy your remaining time together.

You know your cat better than anyone else. There are some medicines that can help, even in terminal cases. We lost our 14 year old Muffin in Nov. He had battled cancer for a year and a half. For the last six months of his life, we took him off the prescription foods he ate for urinary problems and we fed him whatever he would eat. He took prednisolone for a year and a half after his surgery. It did get to the point that he needed appetite stimulant so the doctor prescribed medicine for that. We used a probiotic to sprinkle over his food to stimulate his interest and we fed him whatever he wanted. If you cat purrs, eats and is enjoying his time with you, then I would do whatever it takes to keep him comfortable and eating. You will know when he is ready to leave. Hugs. I am truly sorry. I know it hurts. Sit with him every day, hold him, love him and tell him over and over how much he means to you. You will never regret putting some things on hold to have special time with your cat. When he is gone, then the memories will comfort you.