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doctors funniest experiences - smile time

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Doctors from various parts were asked to share their funniest experiences....
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
* * * * * * * * * * * *
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
* * * * * * * * * * *
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line. I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the e xam.
Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she answered .... "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."
Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
* * * * * * * * * * *
I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman entered with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing. It was quickly determined the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operatingtable, the staff noticed her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, t he surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said; "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
* * * * * * * * * * * *
And Finally . . . . .A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite
embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener'."
post #2 of 16
hmmm wondering if that last one was a freudian slip on the doctors part.
post #3 of 16
Thread Starter 
you are okay - I have no idea what it means!
post #4 of 16
Oscar Mayer is a brand of hotdogs Kev!

All of these are hilarious!
post #5 of 16
Oscar Meyer Weiners - the U.S. commercial for hotdogs (I sing this song to my foster Oscar):

Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner.
That is what I'd truly like to beeeeeee.
And if I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner,
Everyone would be in love with me!

(Kev: weiner (hot dog), pelvic exam, get it?)

I personally like the one about sorry, had to mow the lawn!!

post #6 of 16
Oh my God, that's too funny ! Don't know which I like best ! Thanks Kev !
post #7 of 16
Trust Kev to come up with the funnies when we all need them!
post #8 of 16
How funny!!!
post #9 of 16
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
[quote]Originally posted by Momofmany

(Kev: weiner (hot dog), pelvic exam, get it?)

Now I get it - was not altogether back there!
Thanks for the update

post #11 of 16
Too funny!
post #12 of 16
my favored one was : when the dr. wrote a note to the paitiant that he was sorry he had to mow the lawn .... that was to funny .
post #13 of 16
Originally posted by PurrfectCatlove
my favored one was : when the dr. wrote a note to the paitiant that he was sorry he had to mow the lawn .... that was to funny .
post #14 of 16
Oh! They really made my day!
post #15 of 16
Got one to add!

I go the same dr as my sister does. The last time I went, he thought I was her, and at the time she was still pregnant. He came in, and looked at me, then got all excited and said "Can I feel the baby???". I was like, well if ya can feel one, then there's something going on that I didn't know about! He was so embarassed! lol It was hilarious tho! And he told my sister about it, who had an appointment a couple hours later! I just laughed!
post #16 of 16
OMG Pam!

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