Guilty about losing my kitten

It has been 8 months since I lost my kitten.

My kitten was just 3-4 months old. Her mother had abandoned her after 2 months of her birth.

I was the only one who took care of her. I used to spend all day with her and till night 2 am I used play with my kitten.
But my parents had a rule that after 2 she should be sent out of the house.

One particular night when I was sending her out of the house at night, she resisted, as if she didn't want to go.
But I had to do it. Usually she would come back in the morning at 6 am.
But she didn't this time. Ever since I have not seen her.

I searched for her everywhere for months but in vain.

I feel guilty. I don't even know if she survived. I feel more guilty because that night she resisted going out and I forced her to do it.

I pray that she is fine but I have a bad feeling that she is no more.

I have relocated to a new city now but whenever I go near my old house I always make it a point to look for her.

Is there any chance that a 3-4 months old kitten with fairly good knowledge of hunting might have survived in the urban?
 

She was in a different home in the same area with her siblings before I took her in. All her siblings were killed by stray dogs.
I am afraid she met the same end :'(.

My boyfriend wants to gift me a kitten in another two months but I am scared that I will not be a good pet owner .
I absolutely love cats and was always responsible with my kitten.

I don't live with my parents anymore so I don't have to force it out of my house again (if I get a new cat) so that won't be repeated.
But I am scared that I might do some other mistake which might lead to its death.

Any chance my kitten might have survived? Please pray that she has. I hope she has a good life.
Confused. What should I do?

Please please reply to this thread.
And each one, each time you read this thread, Please pray for my cat's safety.
I believe that prayers work. I hope that she is safe, healthy and happy.

There's no way of knowing just what happened to your kitten, since she disappeared without a trace, but it doesn't have to be the worst-case scenario. Perhaps somebody found her and took her in. :cross: that that's the case and she's safe and loved.

While it's extremely sad that you lost her, it shouldn't stop you from getting another cat, especially since you're prepared to do everything in your power to protect her. Perhaps you can do some reading here at the site, especially in the Articles section, to prepare?

Perhaps a good way to help you relieve the guilt you are feeling over the loss of your kitten is to rescue a new cat or kitten from a shelter or group. I believe you will be a wonderful pet owner now that you don't live with your parents and you have the opportunity to save another kitty's life.

Thanks, jcat. I hope that someone took her and is taking care of her.
She was very cute and active when I had her.

Yes, I am reading all the articles I can find to make my house cat-safe. I am gonna make sure that I make no mistakes this time.
I hope that no other animal is harmed by me ever again.

Thanks, allenkm! I had never looked at it that way.
Yes, I'm planning to adopt a kitten from a shelter.
I'll give her the best life I can 

I'm so sorry about you losing the kitty. Not having any real closure makes it so much worse. It's possible as jcat mentioned that someone took her in.

There's lots of articles here at TCS and check out the stickies in each sub forum. Tons of info there and good luck with your next kitty!

I'm very sorry for your loss.  Please don't blame yourself; you loved your kitten and would have never hurt her.  And she may be alive somewhere, in someone else's home.  That is what happened to our new neighbor's cat.  He ran off and was living with a woman who really fattened him up.  Then the woman saw his "wanted" poster and returned him.  Any cat or kitten you chose (or one that chooses you) will be very blessed indeed.  

I believe you precious kitten is alive and well in a new home. Take heart in that if a dog would have gotten her or something bad had happened, you would have seen some sign of her struggle. Very rarely do animals disappear with absolutely no trace unless someone picked her up. I know it breaks your heart to not know, but you are in no way to blame, and she would definitely not want you to feel so bad. There will always be a place in your heart for your lost one, and she will live forever in your love. Give your heart now to a new one, you will be a great cat mom. All you need is a big heart and you've got that! If you ever need help or advise come here and we will help. Bless you for being willing to give another little soul a good life! (PS, you might consider two! Two are really no harder to take care of!) Please keep us posted.

I'm so sorry that your cat is missing. Just because she didn't come back doesn't mean she's dead. She could still be alive. See stories on the news all the time of peoples pets gone missing for awhile and returning to them. I hope that happens for you.

Thank you all, for replying.
After reading your response I'm feeling hopeful that my kitty is alive, safe and healthy
Di and Bob - Thanks a lot for such a hopeful and pleasant response! A few days ago I decided to adopt two kittens.
I'm currently busy with my exams preparations. I want to dedicate most of my time to my new kittens.
So I will adopt them in early or mid March, after my exams. Will surely keep you all posted!
Thanks again

GOOD LUCK WITH THE EXAMS!

Good on you for deciding to adopt two kittens from a shelter! There are so many souls hoping and waiting in need of love. I hope you will learn from your mistake with the kitten you lost. That way something like that will never happen to you again. As other people have said here, you seem to have a good heart and that's the main thing. The second thing might just be being careful, having common sense and taking care of yourself and of your animals. Cats are very independent, but at the end of the day they do depend on you, a loving and caring parent. So good luck with your exams (I think you are doing the right thing getting two kittens so that they have a lifelong buddy and keep each other company when you can't be around.). All the best.