What Transcends Death

I hope it's ok that I post this here, it deals with my daughter's cat Gatito, so I think it's appropriate.  I don't mean to bring anyone down by this post by the subject matter and that's not what I intend to do.  What I want to do is make a statement because what some people think cannot happen, they actually do.  I have a blog I started when my daughter died and I wrote this for it today and wanted to share it with you all.  Thank you for letting me share.

Okay everyone, I AM in deep horrible grief about the death of Kaitlyn.   I isolate myself a lot but I do not imagine things.  I know I’ve mentioned incidences with Kaitlyn’s cat Gatito before but last night really made me think there may be something to this.

The things that have happened before that I’ve mentioned are these:   He will sit in the middle of the floor, look straight up at the ceiling and meow.  Well maybe he just likes to meow at the ceiling and nothing more.  Then along with that, he sometimes gets on top of my dresser where Kaitlyn’s pictures and her perfume are and meows at them.  The thing is though, these pictures are of when she was a child, not an adult but the perfume was the last perfume she used.  This is the only furniture other than our couches and chairs that he will get on top of. He does not jump on tables or counters or anything like that. Then the other day he got on top of the back of Kaitlyn’s couch and meowed to the self-portrait that Kaitlyn drew that I have hung behind the couch on the wall.  Last night I was sitting on the couch in my den, feeling horrible.  Gatito got on the back of our small couch in our den that we keep in front of our never used fire place.  He sat on top of the back of the couch turned around towards our mantel and started meowing in the direction of Kaitlyn’s baby picture and framed footprint.  He was looking directly at them, not looking at anything else I had on the mantel.

Maybe he just likes to meow at things, but they just happen to be involving Kaitlyn’s things or things pertaining to her and nothing else.   This cat does not get on top of anything and meows at other random objects, only hers.  Coincidence….I don’t know. 

No, I’m not hallucinating.  

Kaitlyn loved this cat VERY, VERY much.   Every time I called Kaitlyn and asked where Gatito was, she would always say “right here” in her lap.  She used to talk to me about how very much she loved him and how much he kept her company.  I know that he must have been the last being that she talked to before she took her life.  There are connections some people just don’t understand and they transcend death.

I'm so very sorry for such a tremendous loss, sometimes there are not words to describe what a loss like that does to your heart. I want to thank you for taking in Gatito, I'm sure he feels the loss too, even now. I don't think anyone on this site would deny that there is a tremendous bond between a cat and the person they choose to love, a bond so strong it conquers death. I pray it gives you comfort to know Gatito senses Kaitlyn's presence, cats have a sixth sense that we humans don't, so I don't doubt at all that he knows when and where her 'essence' is when she visits the ones she loved. Talk to her and tell her that Gatito is as happy as he can be without her, and that he will meet her at the Rainbow Bridge when it is time. Let Gatito guide you as to when your beloved daughter is there. I'm sure you'll all be together again one day, there is no end to such a love. Bless you for sharing with us, and may God bring you some peace. Take care.

Dear 2catsforme, I can't tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss of your beautiful daughter.   It's times like this when I realize how inadequate words are. Pets do grieve the loss of their owner, no doubt of that. The smell of Kaitlyn's perfume, perhaps even the vision of her self-portrait, any lingering scent. Beyond those physical things that we humans can comprehend, who knows what else we leave behind? I have a deeply rooted and strong religious faith, but that does not  mean that I know everything there is to know. On the contrary I know that the exact opposite is true. Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one has felt "something". What that "something" is is so personal, I don't think it would be the same for any two people. Why would cats not feel "something" too? Be strong, sweetie. 

Susank521 said:

 
Dear 2catsforme, I can't tell you how deeply sorry I am for your loss of your beautiful daughter. 

 It's times like this when I realize how inadequate words are. Pets do grieve the loss of their owner, no doubt of that. The smell of Kaitlyn's perfume, perhaps even the vision of her self-portrait, any lingering scent. Beyond those physical things that we humans can comprehend, who knows what else we leave behind? I have a deeply rooted and strong religious faith, but that does not  mean that I know everything there is to know. On the contrary I know that the exact opposite is true. Anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one has felt "something". What that "something" is is so personal, I don't think it would be the same for any two people. Why would cats not feel "something" too? Be strong, sweetie. 

Click to expand...

Thank you so much.  I believe there is so much that we as humans don't know and can't comprehend yet, but some day, not here, we will.

2catsforme said:

 
Thank you so much.  I believe there is so much that we as humans don't know and can't comprehend yet, but some day, not here, we will.

Click to expand...

That is exactly right. Many prayers for you, for comfort and peace. I know Gatito can help you in your grief.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I hope that Gatito's actions and Kaitlyn's presence bring you comfort. Sometimes, at the time of the actions/presence, I felt a lot of anxiety about the situation. Later, I could reflect back and remember that I was special enough to the one I lost that they needed to be there with/for me once again.

peaches08 said:

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. I hope that Gatito's actions and Kaitlyn's presence bring you comfort. Sometimes, at the time of the actions/presence, I felt a lot of anxiety about the situation. Later, I could reflect back and remember that I was special enough to the one I lost that they needed to be there with/for me once again.

Click to expand...

Thank you so much.  He brings me great comfort.  When he first came here he acted like the saddest cat in the world.  He still does not act all that happy but he eats, drinks, and sleeps and he's in good health.  Just misses her I know.

I think cats grieve a lot like autistic people do. We are creatures of habit. We like things to stay the same. When there's a person in our lives that is loving and constant and predictable, someone we can depend on, they become a part of our lives as though they were part of our homes--not just like decorations on a wall, but like supporting columns holding everything up. To lose someone you love is a change--a big, horrible change. Everything feels unstable and disorganized and out of order. I don't cry that much when I lose someone I love; I just keep thinking about them, like I'm trying to fill the gap they have left with memories of them. If I were a cat, I would be smelling out the things they used to use, and the places where they used to be. It is like trying to prop up the place where the support has vanished, and trying to keep the house standing without it. Memories are solid things that are useful for that.

Kaitlyn and Gatito.  This was the cover on my facebook page for a long time.

I am so sorry for your loss.  I do believe there is a connection there that we humans cannot see.  I had a very special bond with a cat when I was a child.  I miss him horribly to this day.  I've had other pets throughout my life, but he was my best bud when I really needed one.

I do hope you and Gatito can find some peace.  Thank you for sharing.

I forgot to say beautiful picture. Brought tears to my eyes. Reminded me of myself and my cat when I was young. Inseparable.

Callista said:

I think cats grieve a lot like autistic people do. We are creatures of habit. We like things to stay the same. When there's a person in our lives that is loving and constant and predictable, someone we can depend on, they become a part of our lives as though they were part of our homes--not just like decorations on a wall, but like supporting columns holding everything up. To lose someone you love is a change--a big, horrible change. Everything feels unstable and disorganized and out of order. I don't cry that much when I lose someone I love; I just keep thinking about them, like I'm trying to fill the gap they have left with memories of them. If I were a cat, I would be smelling out the things they used to use, and the places where they used to be. It is like trying to prop up the place where the support has vanished, and trying to keep the house standing without it. Memories are solid things that are useful for that.

Click to expand...

I believe that as well.

I've never lost anyone close to me in my whole 53 years of life until now.  But then I lost my bright shining star.  The sun rose and set in her for me.  My tears would fill an ocean and I think of her every second of every single day when I'm not asleep, but then were the wonderful times I dreamed about her.....

tjcarst said:

 
I am so sorry for your loss.  I do believe there is a connection there that we humans cannot see.  I had a very special bond with a cat when I was a child.  I miss him horribly to this day.  I've had other pets throughout my life, but he was my best bud when I really needed one.

I do hope you and Gatito can find some peace.  Thank you for sharing.

Click to expand...

I understand that too.  I had a special dog when I was growing up.  She was 12 when she was killed by a car and I was 12 too.  She was a red cocker spaniel mix.  I swear I think that dog was human.  I still feel sorrow to think of her death to this day.

tjcarst said:

 
I forgot to say beautiful picture. Brought tears to my eyes. Reminded me of myself and my cat when I was young. Inseparable.

Click to expand...

Thank you.  That picture does say so much.

I am so sorry for your loss. Kaitlyn was a very beautiful young woman.

I also believe animals have abilities accessed through a 'sixth sense.' I have personally witnessed it and heard too many stories to ever doubt it.

happybird said:

I am so sorry for your loss. Kaitlyn was a very beautiful young woman.

I also believe animals have abilities accessed through a 'sixth sense.' I have personally witnessed it and heard too many stories to ever doubt it.

Click to expand...

Thank you.  She was beautiful inside and out.  I believe that about animals too.

I'm so sorry about your daughter. I can't even begin to find the words for you. She was a beautiful young woman and she had a very special relationship with 

Gatito. I can't imagine how much he must miss her and maybe his meowing is his way of expressing his grief. Thank you for bringing him into your home and into your heart. 

I am very saddened to hear about this, and my mind reels thinking about what you are going through. What happened to your daughter is every parent's nightmare, I'm so so sorry.   Love is the strongest force in the universe, but there's nothing we can do to keep our children from the path they feel they must walk. I've no doubt that Kaitlyn's spirit comes around checking on you and Gatito; I hope you and he bring each other much comfort in the days ahead.