the pain of losing Georgie has made me insane

so here is something really sad about me...the cat that i have that was Georgie's momma had another litter and  i find myself "looking" for Georgie...does that one look like him? not really...does it feel like this may be him? No....I'd know George if it was him...then the sad part it I am looking..oh that one looks a little off, maybe not as strong as the rest, maybe THAT'S georgie...its like I expect him to come back handicapped again...i am just sick

So I understand, you lost Georgie, and his momma had another litter, and you are searching to see one just like him again, that closely resembles him?

It's so very hard to lose your kitty, we know this here.

You are not sick or crazy
Grief can make your mind work in strange ways, like thinking things you wouldn't normally consider. I think it is natural that you are looking for Georgie in other kittens. You were very, very close to him and that bond does not disappear when one of a pair leaves this plane of existence. I can imagine the feeling being especially strong around his mother and her new babies.
I feel like my youngest cat is a reincarnation of certain aspects of my dog, Maggie. So if you are crazy, I am crazy, too! It wasn't an immediate feeling, it was something I recognized after we spent time together.
If you feel ready to love a new kitten, maybe choosing one who looks very different Georgie will be helpful. That way, you won't be saddened by visual similarities or compare them to one another as much. Of course that will happen some, but a different looking kitty may help. Regardless of looks, you will know the right kitten when you see it, or when it chooses you.
Sending you hugs and positive thoughts.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you 

Your grieving, and it takes time to heal. Take it one day at a time and another baby will eventually fill that gap in your heart 

was looking when they were born if any of them looked like him , one kind of does but Georgie has a special face, i think i am looking for what was inside georgie, what made him who he was..there is one white one that reminds me of him in ways, the calmness, the spacing of the facial features, the fact that it is smaller than its siblings, the love of being cuddled at such a young age..I am just hoping these similarities arent warning signs i ignored in George and will now attach to this baby who may too fall ill from whatever georgie had then ill die all over again ..i am still not recovered (epsecially today, it is the 3 month mark) still cant really be around my other cats too long..if i get attached and im right and this one isnt mean for this place long...ill fall over that edge i just know it

Three months is NOT a long time to grieve and mourn, I've been at it for 13 months and still sit there and cry. It IS a LITTLE better though, I can finally think of her and smile. I remember you losing your sweet little Georgie, and then you lost another one. Your heart is broken very badly and it will take a long time to heal that hole that is there when Georgie left with a piece of that heart. Don't give up hope, it WILL get better, you'll fill that hole with the love of another, but you have to let someone in. Remember that quote, "it is better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all" You are afraid to open your heart, but you know what, you have got a LOT to give, you are caring and compassionate, and you will learn from each love you have. Let yourself feel again, look at those beautiful kittens and know you can help make their lives better by being in it. Kiss that momma cat and let her know she is doing a good job, and one day, maybe tomorrow or maybe years from now, you will share your love again with some lucky kitten and know the joy of that special love. Give yourself time, enjoy the beautiful cats you have now, and know you will do the best for them that you can, you and not one of us are perfect. Little Georgie would never want you to be so sad by his passing that you would not love again, honor his passing with another in your own time. I'll pray for you to find comfort and peace. PS you are NOT crazy! You are someone mourning the loss of a loved one and it is the hardest thing you've had to endure.

thank you so much...i just miss him so...he was such a special little guy

You know, I went through something very similar to this when Banshee passed away. It's hard when your feline soul mate passes on. You find yourself looking for traces of her (or in your case, him) in every cat you meet.  And I think it's part of grieving and it's a natural thing. You miss him so very much and it's hard to carry on sometimes. I felt like that for a good year. Every time I'd look at a kitten, I'd look for Banshee's eyes or I'd look for snowy-white paws or a brick-colored nose.

But Di said it well, that your little guy would not want you to be so sad. And there are so many cats and kittens in the world that do not have a forever home and do not have somebody to love them and to cherish them. They need people like us to need them, too.

I really think that you'll find a kitty, that a kitty will call you to him or her. It takes time. Time to grieve and then time to accept that he's gone, and then even time to move on. And then time to find that special kitty to love. Part of what made Georgie so very special is the time that he spent with you. Being with you helped to give him the calmness and the special things that you loved so much.

My Mollipop doesn't look at all like Banshee did. Nor does she really have Banshee's attitude. But I love her dearly. 

And you will find your special little kitty, too.  

I'm so sorry for your loss.  

Georgie