Difficulty treating ill cat - please help

I am so very sorry and saddened to read this.  You have been through so much lately and I pray that you will find healing, comfort and wholeness.  Your girl loves you and you are making the most sacrificial act of love that you can.  It's a difficult decision, I know.  Enjoy your final time together.

I'm so very sorry you have to go through all this, Maggie is just beautiful in that video. Sometimes it seems that a heart can't hold all the grief it gets, but somehow you will survive. Know we are here for you if you need someone to talk to, we'll do what it takes to help. My heart is breaking for what you have gone through and for what is happening now, I'll pray for you and may God bless you  and bring you peace. I'll be thinking of you.

I, too, am so very sorry .  My heart is breaking right along with yours.  Tears are running down my cheeks as I type this.  It is the greatest love we can give, to let them go with there is no quality of life left.   May you find peace in that. 

I am so sorry to hear this, I'm crying as I'm reading Maggie's story. Maggie is such a beautiful kitty. Thank you for sharing the video with us. I with be thinking of you today and keeping you in my prayers.

Thank you for sharing Maggie with us. She is SUCH a sweetheart and so very loving.

Its so hard to make the decision to say good-bye. I had to make the same decision when I lost my 14 year old to squamous cell. I am glad that you have chosen to do this at home where Maggie can be around familiar surroundings while you spend your last moments together, loving each other. Wishing you much strength and courage through this difficult time.

I just read your latest post and watched the video..I am in tears. I am SO very sorry that you have to go through this. Maggie is so lucky to have you as her mom. She lived a wonderful life and that's all any pet could ever want. I will be praying for you and your little angel.

Maggie looks beautiful and inquisitive.... it is tough to see these amazing creatures fade away from their stealthy catselves. Good wishes to you and all you are dealing with... hopefully more kitties find their way to you!

Thank you all for your kind wishes.  Maggie left us at approximately 1 PM this afternoon.  She protested a bit because she did not want to be moved, but she went quietly and peacefully on my bed, on a soft furry throw, bathed in sunshine.  I know it was the right thing to do.  The house call vet agreed that it was probably a severe autoimmune disease.  That being the case, all the famciclovir and antibiotics in the world would not have saved her.  I wasn't even this heartbroken when my husband died, perhaps because I was numb for those first few months and now the floodgates are open.  I love her so much and I always will.

Her little brother Eli is doing OK.  He was freaked out at first but I fed him and gave him treats and then she curled up next to me on the sofa.  I will get him a new friend soon.

Thanks to you kind people for your suggestions, support, and the hugs.

I just wanted to stop by and say how sorry I am for your loss.  My cat actually has pemphigus.  She was diagnosed in April but by the time the vets even considered that, she had gone undiagnosed for 4 months!  We are still dealing w/ flares and trying to get her off high doses of triamcinolone and cyclosporine but i think since she went undiagnosed for such a long time that it's hard to lessen her doses without more crusts showing up.   Unfortunately she now has stomach ulcers from those meds so we're combating that not too.  PF is a horrendous disease that no cat deserves to have!   My cat is 11 and worth every minute!

MyCatsMom said:

 
Thank you all for your kind wishes.  Maggie left us at approximately 1 PM this afternoon.  She protested a bit because she did not want to be moved, but she went quietly and peacefully on my bed, on a soft furry throw, bathed in sunshine.  I know it was the right thing to do.  The house call vet agreed that it was probably a severe autoimmune disease.  That being the case, all the famciclovir and antibiotics in the world would not have saved her.  I wasn't even this heartbroken when my husband died, perhaps because I was numb for those first few months and now the floodgates are open.  I love her so much and I always will.

Her little brother Eli is doing OK.  He was freaked out at first but I fed him and gave him treats and then she curled up next to me on the sofa.  I will get him a new friend soon.

Thanks to you kind people for your suggestions, support, and the hugs.

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My heartfelt sympathies.  When my Sven left me almost two years ago I don't know how I would how survived if not for my other furkids, so I so glad you have Eli to help you ease the pain.  I'm sure he is wondering what on earth is happening with everyone disappearing, so he may become quite the lover cat, if he wasn't already. 

Rest in peace, Gorgeous Angel  Maggie

@Onyxinky:  I am so sorry you area dealing with this horror.  I had never heard of this till my sister told me her old dog had had it.  If Maggie had been eleven I too might have tried to treat her.  But at fifteen, and already with hyper-T and IBD, the systems were already breaking down.  The thing is, her heart was fine and her kidneys, amazingly, were still normal.  The vet who finally acknowledged that with everything we were battling it might be kinder to set her free was amazed at how strong everything else was.   I hope your kitty responds well  (((HUG)))

The funny thing is that my mother, who was also a bit of a diva (though  you would never have known it to look at her) also was perfectly healthy except for a bad disease in her final year.  She had advanced COPD and congestive heart failure, but everything else was fine.

I think all the losses are coming down at once.  This is like the feather that topples the house of cards, because I didn't even cry like this when my husband died.  Of course some of that was numbness, because when you are going through that you have to be numb or you can't wake up in the morning.  But this little girl was so special and she leaves a giant gaping hole in my life.

I will find a new friend for Eli soon.

I keep wondering if I should have gone ahead with biopsies and possible megadoses of prednisolone.  I had the transdermal gel, after all.  The problem is that she was already on 7.5mg prednisolone every other day for IBD maintenance, and I frequently had to up her to 10mg/day for flareups that happened with increasing frequency.  This is nothing new, I did this woulda-shoulda-coulda with my husband too.

I think if she had been even a few years younger, or not already being treated for two other diseases, I might have been more aggressive about treating her.  But while she was on the meds for the URI, she had already started to distrust the food I gave her and protest when I just walked into the room because she was starting to associate me with nothing but twist-pens and gels smeared on her fur and adulterated food and stuff put in her eyes and pills and so on.  Not good quality of life.  And I'm not sure if she would have even responded, given that she had been on prednisolone for a year and a half as it is.

I have done so much second-guessing myself this year, why should this be any different?  I just miss her so much...

I think this is a phase most of us go thru AFTER we have had one of our furbabies put to sleep .  It's natural, I think, to second guess....

From the sounds of things, you did the right thing by letting her go.    You said yourself that your Vet agreed, and now dear Maggie is free of pain and sitting on your husband's lap with your other cat by her side, waiting to see you some day. 

Of course you miss her, that's only natural too .  As you know, with so much sadness in your life recently, time does heal.  I thought I would never get over Sven's death, as he was my soul cat, but now, even though I think of him often, I can think of the happy times, not the sad times.  Oh, don't get me wrong, I still get teary eyed at times (and it's been almost two years), but I don't break down and cry anymore. 

My heart breaks for you and all you've been through these last months. What an amazing woman you must be. You may have small hands, but your heart, your courage and strength are beyond measure. It's amazing what strength is evident just in the few words of your posts. Many prayers for you.   That woulda, shoulda, coulda stuff will haunt you, and beat you down. None of it is true, it's the companion to grief. 

My deepest heartfelt sympathies to you. I also have tears, especially after seeing Maggie's darling video of when she was seven. I also think that Sally is right. After losing one of our furkids we always are in a state of shock and grief, such a feeling of emptiness. We go over and over wondering IF there was one more thing we could have done. It is a natural human trait and I think it is really part of the beginning of the grief process. You will feel better later on thinking back to how she was these past months and know that you did the right by her giving her a dignified passing when the time was right, and it was time.

My heart goes out to you during this time and I know you have been through so much loss this past year. You seem like a very, very strong woman, stay that way now and know that you have so much love in your heart and your mind is full of beautiful memories, forever. OH GEESH - more tears as I can't help but know what you are feeling right now.

Maggie sure was beautiful, and a lovely video. Thankyou for sharing, it was lovely to see her chatting to you.  Sending over a hug at this hard time  

My condolences. Second-guessing yourself is normal and possibly a part of the grief process.

The TCS team would like you to know that we are so very sorry for your loss. Threads are locked after someone has suffered such a loss, as a sign of respect. We invite you to place a tribute at http://www.thecatsite.com/f/19/crossing-the-bridge as an enduring testimony to your friend.