Fear of cats fighting and hurting each other

How do you get over the fear of cats fighting?. I have had cats my whole adult life but only two at a time. I  never really had any problems with just two and when we got the 3rd there was not a problem, but when we got the fourth one things changed. It has been really bad. We have been working on the situation for 8 long months. It is finally, finally starting to get better ( I hope I did not just jinx it by saying that). I know that it is normal for cats to get into spats with each other and I should just get over my fear about it but it is hard when you have only had cats that have always gotten along.  I just don't like the sound of hissing and growling. One of the cats was even spitting. I had never heard that before. Like I said though, it is getting better. I guess I just need some support so I can get over my fear of what might happen.

Hi Mishi, welcome to TCS.  I'm sorry you're having this problem.  I remember when we first brought our second cat into our home  I only had one cat many years ago, so I had no idea at all about what constituted playful rough housing or actual annoyance.  I used to get myself fairly worked up over it also - until my BF pointed out to me that they were indeed playing.  

But it seems that things are somewhat different for you and the first two things which popped out at me is a) did you follow the suggested introductions for the new cat and b) what is the space of your home like?  Do you have places which are up high for them? To hide in?  Cats really need these kinds of spaces; they help them live together more peaceably - as they are able to escape each other more easily when upset.

It sounds like they might be working it out, as long as there is no fur flying things don't sound too dire but I sure know how upsetting it can be to witness even a small growl.  

I would recommend getting Feliway diffusers to help decrease the stress level in your home.  Then, keep an eye on things and redirect the kitty who's terrorizing the other(s) with a towel.  Put the towel between the two kitties and "herd" the terrorist to another area and play with him/her for a little bit.

It seems like forever, but 8 months is actually good that they aren't tearing each other up! I know it took over a year for us to have some small amount of peace, and they still tussle once in a while!

I can totally relate to the fear of fighting.  Once you witness an all out cat brawl it makes you be in alert at all times.  I brought a stray/feral into my home in late May.  The boys have been working things out since mid August.  I did follow the guidelines in the cat to cat introductions, but rushed a few steps at the end.  This meant going back and redoing all of the steps.  It did help alot.  Here is a link to the cat to cat introductions http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

I also found that using some flower essences as well as Composure feline treats or Composure liquid max really helped.  At first I dosed both cats, but then just the more aggressive one. 

I still have moments where I worry there will be a fight.  Usually one of the cats sticks to me like glue so then I know all is well.  Yet when he is not around I usually go to find him to be sure all is well.  When no one is home, the new kitty goes into his room and also at night.  He is just not ready to be left unsupervised.  It's hard.  But it does get better and I know it will only continue to get better.

These are all the things I have tried.





Slow indroduction ( not slow enough)



Reintroduction



Dog cage



Feeding together



Room swap



Feliway diffusers ( don't know if they even do anything)



Sent swap



Grooming with same brushes



Calming treats



Keeping problem cats completly seperate at all times



Very close supervision when they are together



Keep newest cat in her room at night and during the day when we are not home



New cat gets extra love at night when other cats are in bed





Don't know what else to do except to give it more time. I just have to cope with my own fear of them fighting, which might be causing part of their problem. There are times when I just don't know what to do. I get so so upset. I must admit I have thought about rehoming the new kitty because I think she would be happier as an only cat . I just don't think I could do it.  After 8 months of having her as part of the family the hubby and I both love her.

Yes, I agree you should overcome that fear. Hissing, some growling do happen and it doesn't mean that there is going to be fighting. What I do when I hear or see a "disagreement" is go psst or distract them with a toy.