I need some advice, Need to find my cat a new home in Denver.

So let me begin by saying I got my cat named Apollo for free 6 years ago off cragslist. He was 6 months old when I got him.  When I got him he was very very skiddish. He hid under my bed for the first week, only to come out to eat at night.  I just figured that he was scared of a new home. But as time went on he never really broke out of his skiddish-ness.  He was afraid of everything, he must have had a traumatic life as a kitten.  Over the years he began to trust me a little, not to the point where I could pick him up or hold him. But he would lay on the bed beside me at night.  Other than that he runs away from me.  He spends most of his day in hiding.
A year and a half ago I moved in with my girlfriend, my cat did not like this one bit. Ever since then he howls and whines all night long. (I think he may be jealous?)  We have tried everything to get him to get along with my girlfriend, even just a little to stop the crying at night. But nothing has worked.. My girlfriend is a light sleeper and unfortionally its taking its toll on our my girlfriend and I's relationship.  I can't give my cat to a shelter because most people wouldn't want him because he isn't your typical cat and would ultimately be put down. I don't want to put him on craigslist because I've heard horrible stories of people doing cruel things to animals off there.  I just want to give him a good home, but I'm in a hard spot, because of he is so scared of everything.  Im sure there won't be anyone on here from the Denver area, but I just need help.

What exactly have you tried to get her calmer and stop crying?  What did your girlfriend do to befriend him? 

 Is he neutered? 

I think you are right that a cat like yours would be likely be euthanized in a kill shelter. I am glad that you are reaching out to find alternatives.

He just doesn't bond to people easily, it took me years to get me to the point where I'm at now. He only comes up onto bed when I'm laying down to go to sleep at night. Other than that he wants no part in cuddling or being around people much. He watches from a distance mostly.  My girlfriend didn't do anything, in fact she is a cat person and loves cats. We have tried to get him to play with her with cat toys, giving him treats, and trying to pet him while he is on the bed at night.

Sorry I have not got any advice for you. I don't have any experience in this but I'm sure other members will be a long soon to offer you some great advice and ideas.

I really hope everything does work out for you and Apollo. I would hate to think what would happen to him if you have to give him up the poor little guy

Good luck

Have you tried Feliway to make him feel less stressed when she is around? Is she feeding him (even if she would only put down his plate)? Has she tried to sit down  and lure him with babyfood (chicken or beef)?

When do you feed him in the evening?

Have you ever thought about getting him a companion cat to help him emotionally? I mean,  6 years as a lone cat it might be too late by now, but usually semi-feral or shy cats love love love other cats which keep them emotionally balanced.

I've tried the feliway spray and the diffuser,  she has tried feeding him and we usually feed them at night.  Sorry I forgot to mention my girlfriend does have a cat, the cats get along just fine.  And even in previous houses he's always had a friend.

Great, I see you have tried many things. May I ask once more if medial issues have been ruled out? And is he neutered? 

I just cannot imagine that he is jealous and suspect something must feel wrong for him at nights.

I have only heard of cats constantly crying if they were either in heat, hungry or deaf. Is he deaf, maybe? Have you tried to leave him a little light so that he can better see during the night? The kind of light one would use for babies. 

Was/is he allowed to sleep in your bedroom? Has there been any change since you live together?

Last time I was at the vet they said he was fine, but they didn't do any blood work. Maybe there is something there?  He's definitely not deaf, he has a very keen ear and can hear anyone coming.  He is neutered  and always has food before bed (if not we definitely hear about it).  We haven't left a light on over night.  He is free to roam any room in our apartment all day and night.  The only change is we have moved, but he only started yelling at night since we got our own place together.  We also

introduced the cats before we moved in together. 

Are you still interested in trying to rehabilitate him? or has it reached the point where you cannot continue with him? I would encourage blood work from your vet. I don't know why they didn't look for a deeper cause when a physical exam didn't reveal anything... hmmm Most likely from what you have said, the move to another place has rocked him. What is your reaction to the night time crying? Responding with action will only encourage him to continue. He ultimately is attempting to get your attention for some reason. I would recommend trying to ignore it directly since he is not immediately hurt or in danger as it seems. You said he slept on the bed with you before, does he now? That could be an issue. As you said it took him a long time to become somewhat social with you and if he lost the sense of security he gained by sleeping with you at night this could be it. Perhaps getting a kitty bed for him in your room, in combination with diffuser(i know you said you tried it) and maybe some catnip on the bed initially. This might provide him a secure spot he can seek at night. You will normally catch me on here suggesting people not leaving clothes on the floor (cause of peeing issues) but perhaps leaving and unwashed piece of clothing or something on a cat bed or in some area so he can be secure in your scent will also assist in calming him. You seemed to indicate that he doesn't play with her, but does he play with you? If so, giving him some one on one play time to tire him out before bed could also assist his condition. Most of the time cats yowl and meow at night from loneliness and or insecurity. Moves can be tough on cats. I know you care for him since you are seeking at such lengths to find an answer. Don't give up on him. He is your responsibility now. I don't mean to lecture or make you feel guilty, but I know the normal result of what happens with giving a cat up at his age and condition. Again I stress the medical side. It could be a thyroid issue or dementia, anything like that, just like people. I feel that honestly it is most likely a form of protest from him. Its a new situation and he is not pleased. So finding a way to reconnect him with that same security is paramount. Would you say if you were awake, would he cry? is it only when you are sleeping? or just after dark in general? It is the little details that could determine the source of the issue. I feel for both of you. I can understand your frustrations, but I think with some more effort the problem can be solved. If not, reach out to people in person for a new home. Maybe a friend of a friend or someone who has previous cat experience to ensure the parting is smooth for him. Best of luck to you and I will check back to see if I can offer any more advise or answer any more questions.

I meant to add if ultimately you end up sheltering him, which I don't encourage really, there are many no kill shelters in the Denver area. I'm not a fan of shelters, I would hope he could find a great new home but if you have no recourse go to a no kill one like Rocky Mountian Feline Rescue, Maxfund, and i believe  Almost home Adoption center. Check online. Many are also no cage environments which I like. There are also foster families for cats believe it or not. You could look into that too. A donation wouldn't hurt either, I know most centers are hurting right now for that. ;-)  Again, Best of luck to you.

I don't think they really looked too deeply into it because we went to the vet a few weeks or so after we moved, so they just assumed it was due to the move.  But I'm very tempted to bring him back for blood work.  But i partially believe it is a cry for attention.  He does ti randomly, some nights good, some bad.  He was just howling a few minutes ago, now he is just napping on the floor in the other room.  I have put out one of my hoodies for him to lay on, he has never peed on anything of mine honestly so I have no problem putting that on the floor next to the bed.  But he will whine and complain and i will pat the bed and he usually will come up on the bed, lay down and be quiet.  Some nights he just likes to yell.  So part of me thinks its him looking for attention, and part of me thinks it might not be a bad idea to do the blood work just in case.   We usually try to ignore him, but he literally screams at the top of his lungs.  It is quite frustrating.  We have tried to get him to come to us when he does we have also tried a spray bottle (probably not a good idea i admit) but at 3am it seems 'nessesary'
We do try to play with him, but again he's not a normal cat in the fact you can play with him. It has to be from a distance, most of the time a laser pointer or a long rod with the feather at the end.  She also has tried playing with him with those two items.
I would honestly like to keep him, I know he won't likely find a home in a shelter, and most likely won't last long with his age and issues.  Its just my girlfriend who can't get sleep once he starts howling and crying, I got blessed with the sleep through anything gene. So he rarely wakes me up at night.  We have been trying to get him to take to her more for quite a while now, so naturally we are getting a little frustrated with the situation. 

Before giving up on him, please consider taking him back to the vet or finding a new vet and digging deeper into his issues.  Does he have a place where he feels safe that was similar to his old home? Does he have a place to hide where he can escape to if needed? What about a cat tree to climb and look outside? 

I have used a product called Feline Composure (in treat form) as well as Liquid Composure Max.  I brought a stray/feral cat into my home in late May.  He had his own room.  Every night he would cry and yowl.  Even though he was in another room, it kept us all awake.  I knew he was probably scared.  I started giving him 3 feline composure treats before bed each night.  They worked really well and would last for 6-8 hours.  After about 3 nights, he was sleeping almost all night.  I then switched to using the Liquid Composure Max mixed in his wet food.  I have another indoor cat and when introductions started we had issues.  The Composure is very calming.  The stray is still very skittish and scared and to this day he still receives the liquid composure in the morning to keep him calm during the day.  You can do a search on it.  I have purchased the treats in pet stores and the liquid and treats on Amazon.  I have found the treats take a bit longer to work ( up to an hour), but they are cheaper.  The liquid is more expensive, but works quickly.  Also when you first start the product you may have to find a dosage that works.  You are able to double and triple the dosage during times of stress.  This is what I did and now I am just down to a single regular dose each day.

Other suggestions are to have your girlfriend sit quietly with him.  Just have her talk to him or read aloud.  She can offer treats when she first sits down with the cat and then again when she leaves.  He may not eat them right away, but you want him to associate her with good things.  She could up the ante and give him really delicious treats such as tuna, cooked plain chicken or the ultimate, Gerber stage 2 chicken or turkey baby food.  Cats go crazy for it.  Just make sure it is stage 2 with chicken or turkey and water only. 

You said she has tried to play with him, but playing may be a bit too soon.  Allow him to get to know her first then begin to play.  Also find out what he likes to play with.  Does he like da Bird, wand toys, laser, balls, etc...  Also keep the interactions short to begin with. 

Have you looked into Jackson Galaxy?  He is from the Animal Planet and is known as the "Cat Daddy".  He has a show called "My Cat From Hell" and he gives great advice on how to deal with difficult cats.  He also have a product line of flower essences for animals.  I have used many of them.  They are called Spirit Essences.  You can also send an email to his company asking for suggestions on which remedies would help. 

I hope you are able to keep the cat and try some suggestions with your girlfriends help.  It may take time and patience, but ultimately it would take an incredibly special person to adopt your cat. 

Keep us updated and thank you for taking the time to reach out.

hatchbox

I do personally think its an attention thing, but yet a vet visit wouldn't hurt with the new information you have. They might be able to narrow something down for you. Also ShadowRescues posted some great ideas. Esp with the baby food. I know it might sound a little weird but cats can be bribed like that lol Like I said, food before bedtime like you have been doing, a good play session before bed and then try to make a routine of bedtime. Have him get on the bed with you and her every night, let him know that this is the routine. Not that you have much of a choice when he is meowing loud at night, but since you have responded to him. He knows what he has to do to get your attention. If it isn't about a medical thing, and it is about attention. He knows he has got you with this. Cats are smart like that, and persistent. Believe me I understand the situation. My best friend adopted a cat who lived for 5 years before that abused and in a crackhouse in Baltimore. That cat was never exactly "right". It took a lot of time. Most of it the cat spent under the toilet in the bathroom. With understanding and time though, he became an ultra loyal and friendly cat. I really really hope one of the suggestions here helps. It still could be a medical thing. Cats hide that pain pretty well. Best of luck, I'll definitely try to do some more research on my own for you, and I have a vet friend i'll ask some advise from. Keep up the good work. I know this will turn a corner.

Yes, please don't give up too soon. I understand this is is nerve wracking and sleep is very important. Maybe she can get some ear plugs for the time being. Her well-being is surely as important. But I hope she can see that this cat is totally dependent on you both and actually needs your help and not a shelter. 

The remedies and advices mentioned above are excellent and certainly worth a try. Please do.

If they do not help you could ask your vet if something stronger like Prozac may help. My neighbors have nervous, anxious dogs and nothing has helped but Prozac. 

I really wish that you find a way to keep him.