We only get one pet like this

krashballz

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It was a hot, New Mexico afternoon in October 1999. I walked into PetSmart with my husband to buy crickets for his bearded dragon to eat. As soon as we walked in, there was a cat adoption event happening in the front of the store. They had a few big cages with several kitties running around in each one. In the last cage I walked past, there was a little black kitten curled up on the back corner, looking at all the other kittens like they were just annoying the bejesus out of him. He had a surly, scowling look on his face. Not typical for a "cute" little kitten. I walked over to the cage, he looked up and made eye contact with me. I was floored. He was the most beautiful cat I had ever seen. The brightest green eyes, pure black fur...Anyway, he stood up, stretched, came up to the front of the cage, reached up and grabbed my finger that I was poking through the bars. It was over. This cat was mine. I asked the woman running the thing if I could hold him. She said she didn't recommend it because several people had tried to hold him and they all left with scratches and he had gotten away once already. She said they were having problems adopting him out because of his attitude and that he needed to be socialized more. I asked her "Please. I really need to hold this cat. It's ok if he scratches me and I won't let him get away I promise." So, with one more warning about his temperament, she agreed. She opened the top of the cage, the kitten reached up for me, I picked him up and he curled up on my chest, tucked his head in my neck, & started purring. I realized that this cat wasn't mine. I was his.
From that second on, my whole life was different. It was all about him. I had a new shadow that went everywhere I did. And that shadow talked. A lot. We couldn't decide on a name for him for a week or so, so he was just "Cat." But I would notice all these clumsy things he'd do. He never landed any jumps like a normal cat. He always hit head first into whatever he jumped towards. One day, he was walking across the living room floor and just stopped, crashed over on his side, and closed his eyes. He evidently had decided that wherever he was headed was too far, so where he was was a good place to nap. He did this all time. That's why his name was Krash. We changed the C to K because it made him seem more bad ass. And what a bad ass he was. Mean as all get out. To his toy micers. Every vet he ever saw was terrified of him. He was a huge cat. At his largest, he was 23 lbs and stood almost knee high. He knew his size, and he used it to keep doctors on their toes. Truth is, he wouldn't have ever hurt anyone. Everyone that met him fell in love with him, even people that aren't cat people.
He lived for many years with no health problems, no behavior problems...I always heard horror stories of other people's cats that would pee & scratch & tear things up. Krash never did any of that. He was so well behaved. I never trained him to walk on a harness - He just did it. I never trained him to do ANYTHING. He just did stuff. He fit into my life like he had been there since the beginning. If you could deal with the constant talking (I miss that so much), he was the most low maintenance cat ever. And I knew how lucky I was to have that.
In September 2013, he was diagnosed with small cell lymphoma. They told me his chances were good for remission. We started chemo, but it didn't make enough of a difference to be worth it. The stress of medicating him was overwhelming for him, my husband and myself. I owed him so much, I couldn't bear the thought of him being miserable during what might be his last days. Plus, the chemo had caused severe anemia. So we decided to stop treatments except for prednisolone which was a liquid and was easy to give him. He made it about another month. In the end, the anemia had made him sicker than the cancer. He was so weak, he couldn't stand up on his own. On Friday 11/8, he had some kind of respiratory distress and he couldn't breathe. So we rushed him to the Vet to be put down. I couldn't let him suffer at all. And this was him at the threshold of suffering.
He was surrounded by people that loved him, that he loved. I spent the last hour just holding him, looking into his eyes. I held him as they did the final injection and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. My face was the last thing he ever saw. The last thing he ever heard was my voice telling him I love him. And I do. I always will. He was my baby, my soul mate, my best friend, the love of my life. He saved me from myself 14 years ago. And I saved him from people who didn't understand him.
I have 2 new cats now. I love them, but they'll never replace him. We only get one pet like Krash. I'm so grateful he picked me. I'm gonna miss him every day forever.


 

goholistic

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Your beautiful tribute to Krash made me cry. It was certainly destiny that you two found each other, and he had full life...full of love...in your care. It seems there's no lack of wonderful memories, that's for sure. 


I'm so sorry for your loss. Krash is now running happily...free of pain and suffering. 
 
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krashballz

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Thank you, goholistic goholistic . To be honest, it killed me to write it. I'm still crying hours later. I miss him so bad. I am able to not break down every time I say his name though. I just thought it was time finally to do this. I miss everyone here on TCS, but it's been really hard to come back here. I still creep around the site and check in on Sebastian, Daisy (@tinybash), Tigger (@iLovePrincess) & all the other kitties I came to know here. Lately there has been a rash of people with cats diagnosed with lymphoma it seems, and it hurts to read their stories. But it's time for me to get back here and be there for people like everyone was there for me. So here's to moving on - even if it's only because we have no choice.
 

Winchester

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Oh my, but he was a beautiful little boy. There's always something about black kitties that grabs my heart.....they're such special boys.

RIP, Krash, you were truly loved.
 

betsygee

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What a beautiful tribute.  Thank you for sharing Krash's story.  Precious boy.  
 

nurseangel

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A gorgeous cat and a great tribute.  I could picture him as a kitten so vividly as I read your story.  I'm very sorry for your loss.  
   
 
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krashballz

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Thank you all. He really was a beautiful cat. Sometimes I'd look at him and think he was too perfect to be real.
Winchester Winchester , I know what you mean about black kitties. I love them. I have 2 more now :)
 

susank521

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I'm so sorry for your loss. 
 How lucky you were that Krash chose you. How lucky he was that you loved him. The tears of loss will always come, but hopefully, someday soon, a smile will accompany them. 
 

mamabirdy

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I have tears running down my face as I read your wonderful tribute to Krash. As Susank said he choose you, and you gave him a wonderful life, and he will, no doubt, be waiting patiently for you at the bridge to continue your beautiful friendship. God bless xx
 

peaches08

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I'm so sorry for your loss. Soul kitties take a piece of our heart with them.
 

lillys mommy

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I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute. You were lucky to have had each other [emoji]10084[/emoji]️
 

jcat

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That's a wonderful tribute to your special boy, as is adopting two more, not to replace him, because that's impossible, but as a celebration of the feline-human bond you shared with Krash.
 

di and bob

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What a wonderful tribute for a wonderful boy. I'm so glad he had someone that loved him as much as you did to be with him in his final moments, I'm sure it comforted him greatly. You are so right that we have to go on, it's so very hard to accept they won't be with us forever. Time is the great healer, although it takes a long time to mend a broken heart. I cry for you, the one left behind, and I'll pray for Krash's precious soul, that he may find peace and a beautiful spot at the Rainbow Bridge to wait for you, his soulmate. Take care of yourself, he would never want you to be so sad. RIP beautiful Krash!
 
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krashballz

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Soul kitties take a piece of our heart with them.
Oh, they do. But every second of hurt is worth having had him for 14 years. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Thank you all for the condolences and prayers.
 

tjcarst

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I am so sorry for your loss.  Krash was a very special boy, and I am glad you two found each other all those years ago.  All because of crickets.  When I hear crickets now, I will remember your Krash.
 

mrsgreenjeens

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Oh my
.  This is so touching.  I'm so glad you finally felt up to writing this tribute so all of us could learn about this wonderful little furry being named Krash.  Some of us got to know him a little bit when he was sick, but now we get to learn his funny little quirks and how he picked YOU to live with.  Believe it or not, the pain of loss does get easier with time.  It will never go away, as it shouldn't, but it will diminish to where, someday, you will be able to think of him with a smile instead of tears.


Run free of pain at the bridge
Krash
 

snugglecat

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Oh my that was a very touching tribute, I am crying so much right now
   I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers go out to you.
 
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