Lymphoma progressing

Gus's lymphoma seems to be progressing very quickly. We were supposed to start chemo on Friday but I chickened out, what's worse, letting him slip away or putting him through the chemo? I cannot stop thinking about him for a second. His breathing is getting worse and the tumor must be resting against an ear canal because he keeps his right ear down and keeps shaking and scratching his head. He is keeping up a good front though and wants to be active, he still wakes us up, wants outside and would love to play if it didn't make him choke. How do I give up on such a strong little soul? My husband said "he wants us to help him so let's do it" but now we have to wait until next Friday as the clinic only does chemo Fridays. If it ends up being too late,I will never forgive myself. The cost for 1 year of chemo and related treatments is about $7000, this is in addition to the $2000 I've already spent just to get a diagnosis. I don't want this to be about money but boy it's tough, I am looking for a part time job to help pay for some of it which means I probably won't be home at all with that and my full time job. I have certainly learned the hard way about finding a good pet insurance.

We had chemo done on a cat a few years ago. It bought us not as much time as was first suspected, and the stress on the cat was not good either. Last year when we were told Dunk had cancer and we could give her more time with chemo, we declined and let her just go to sleep on our terms. It was a personal decision based on a lot of things we learned and knew.

I would just say that you have to do what is best and no one is walking in your shoes, taking care of your cat, but you and your vet.

Here is an article that gives you insight during such a difficult and heart-wrenching time:

When is it Time?

Thank you Hissy, this is the worst decision I've ever had to make, he is the first pet I've ever had to cope with this. My family cat just died in the spring, she was 20 years old, I brought her home when I was 15. Since I have lived away from home, I haven't seen her much over the years so even though it was painful I felt somewhat removed from it all, my mom however is still coping with her loss. I have to say that the first 5 questions in the article I can honestly answer positively to except he's suffering a bit from constipation. he is still so interested in what we're doing, eats pretty good (he's like a dog, very moochy), drinks, and wants to have a normal life, I can see it in his eyes, it's like he's questioning me. That's why I think I owe it to him to at least try. Our vet tells me that you can usually tell after the first 4 weeks whether or not the chemo is doing anything so I am going to try, I'll always wonder "What if?" if I don't

oh my dear, I saw this when I was reading through some threads after posting Freddie's leukemia update. You are a very compassionate and strong soul. You are doing what is best for your little one and if you feel any communication from him, then go with that. It's an awful place to be in, and I thought our leukmia was rough....
I wish I could offer you more, nothing except that when we almost lost Freddie to a fever of 106 I seemed to get stength from this site because of everyone else's situations and some as severe as yours. I, too, got a p/t job tutoring English, as well as we took in a boarder for our extra room in order to pay the $2000 bills so far. We also lost our SiSi to a coyote this past Spring, she was my beloved best friend of 12 years. The thought of losing 2 in under 6 months just can make me cry in half a second.
SO GOOD STRENGTH TO YOU, THE BEST WISHES YOUR WAY,
I whisper in Freddie's ear every day that he is doing good! and must make strong, helathy blood cells to fend off the attack in his blood.
From Freddie to Gus:

Thank you for your kind thoughs. I am hoping for the best for you and Freddie. Today seems to be a good day for Gus, lots of sunbathing and some ground turkey for a special treat. He still purrs a lot, which sounds terrible but at least I know he's acknowledging me. Please keep me posted with Freddie's progress, sending good wishes his way.

I am so sorry about Gus, I can completely understand this tough decision you have to make but I am sure if it were my cat depending on age I would do chemo too. I have seen mixed reults with chemo, some cats can go on for another year or 2 and others only a few months. Make sure your vet warns you about all the possible side effects if he hasnt already - this will be pretty stressful for all of you but I so hope that it makes a big difference for Gus. Lots of kisses and luck for Gus, I hope it all goes well and let us know how it turns out.