Nervous about getting a new cat

overwhelmed2

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I had two cats both who passed away in the last 18 months of ckd and the last few years looking after them was tough with the vet visits, constant worry, encouraging them to eat, medications, rushing home to check all was OK. They were both aged 18 when they died. They were my babies - I had them both since kittens and I was only 29 years old and I've always been on my own with them.

The last one died 6 months ago (Maddie) and I haven't yet got another cat. One of the reasons I haven't yet got another cat is that I really only want Maddie back (which I know isn't possible) . The other reason is that I'm enjoying the freedom of not having to come home because the cat is lonely (I only want one this time around), feeding, changing the litter box and and I love having a fur free house - I think that sometimes I also took the cats needs more into account than mine and would not travel etc so as not to leave the cats home alone. However I do really miss the company and love of a cat.

Also I suffer from anxiety and whenever I have gone to get a new cat I am getting panic attacks and feeling sick from the thought of the responsibility. But I want a new cat!! There is a sweet 2 year old cat cat at the local adoption centre who sounds perfect for me - has always been indoors only, used to being alone while her people were at work - she looks like a small british shorthair/burmese/domestic cross. She has cat flu at the moment so I can't go see her until next week and I think she would be perfect but the thought of bringing her home is giving me severe anxiety attacks (I am being treated for the anxiety but it's taking time). Has anyone else ever felt this way? Any advice?
 

tammyp

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It is a responsibility, and I totally understand about how we curtail our travel and lives to look after our cats.  It's the trade-off!  Maybe you need some more time before taking that commitment again, and time to get all the 'single' things like travel well and truely done?  I held off getting a cat until I was very settled and much older - while I always wanted one, I knew it wasnt the right time.

I'm wondering if fostering would provide an interrum step for you?  You could test the waters without the large commitment, plus have a/some cats in your life.  It may provide the confirmation one way or the other about whether now is the right time for adoption.  (And I'm all for reducing the anxiety triggers and just being kind to ourselves.)
 

laralove

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As someone also dealing with anxiety with panic attacks (a main reason I got my kitty!), my advice would be to make a list. On one side write all the reasons you're apprehensive about adopting another kitty (daily responsibilities, inability to travel, etc.), and on the other side write all the reasons you want another cat (companionship, etc.). 

It may sound silly, but this task will accomplish a few things. It will have you really focus on both the negatives and positives in a clear and productive way. It will also give you a visual of the big picture, which can be helpful for making these types of decisions. You may also find it therapeutic; as you think through the list you may also find yourself working through some issues, such as your continued grief over the loss of your precious Maddie.

A few important points:
  • Start with the negatives and finish with the positives. Better to end on a positive note.
  • When you're working on the task, if at any point you begin to feel overwhelmed, walk away and give yourself time to relax.
  • Once you've completed the list and you feel calm, look over both sides and consider how important each item is. One side may be longer than the other (as in number of items), but you may find that some items on the shorter list are more important than many on the other, if that makes sense.
It's a big decision to adopt, so it's understandable that it can be stressful. I think sometimes people consider how the animal's life will be changed with their adoption without always fully considering how their own life will change. So it's really good that you're being so thoughtful in your decision in considering how your life will be affected.
 
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raintyger

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I was also thinking that fostering may be good. I've lost a kitty recently and have some of the same types of feelings--how draining it can be to have to take care of a sick kitty and worry about them.

If you join a rescue group, a lot of them are desperate for foster homes, and you can tell them the situation you're in, that for now you need to be in charge of healthy kitties that are ready for adoption and only need a temporary home until then. And sometimes it works out that you find a special kitty and can adopt them after finding out how perfect they are.
 
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