Terrible event last night.....

How awful and what a horrible experience for all of you. She was beautiful. I lost my Mylo suddenly three weeks ago and could never have been prepared for the grief I felt and still do. And sure my other two cats feel it. Even the dog who still wants to go outside to bring him in as he did each night. The first few days I knew nothing could replace him. Then I thought about it and looked at other kittens. But then back to where I am now that it's him I miss and no one could take his place in our house. And I feel the others would be thrown by a stranger coming in when they are so unsettled so for now I am throwing myself into reassuring them and loving them as much as humanly possible. But grieving is different for everyone. May sound odd but when a person passes you have so much and so many peoples feelings to deal with. When you lose a pet you just have a big hole in your home and your heart and a feeling of guilt from not being able to keep them safe no matter how much you wanted to. And that voice in your head that says it's only a cat as many would think. But it isn't. And you need to allow yourself to be sad and mad and however you need to be. And when it feels right you can give a lovely home to another kitty. But only when your ready to move on. I hope you feel better soon and so sorry. Don't beat yourself up over the autopsy. She is playing on rainbow bridge either way. Much love for you and your angel kitten. X

Beautiful Pandie

Thank u

Pandie was a beautiful cat.

So sorry to hear of your loss.

She didn't suffer and with that you can take comfort.

RIP

Thank u. I picked up her ashes yesterday. Still so hard to believe

Keep going, she is in your heart. This happened so suddenly it will take time to make any sense of.    

Even when we have time to prepare, these things have a habit of coming slowly in to realization and then hitting us in waves when we least expect it, You are not alone, and although you say your children are coping better then you I have no doubt they understand and relate to how you are feeling, and will keep you strong.

stephie75 said:

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• stephie75
• Dec 28, 2013

I don't know if this worked but I tried to upload a pic of my beautiful Pandie

Click to expand...

Oh. She's beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss. It was a tragedy but she didn't suffer. You have that to be thankful for. I know it's not a comfort right now but it will be.
Yes. Animals do grieve. One of my cats was very low when his best friend, our dog, went to Rainbow Bridge. He searched the house and called him But did and does pass. As they were so young he will get over it quite soon.
It's okay for the children to see you so upset. How old are they by the way?
Please remember we all know how you are feeling and we're all here whenever you need to talk or to cry.
Remember that.

My kids are older, 18, 15, and 12. Thank u, it's been hard watching her brother grieve. He's doing better but not himself. We decided to get him a lil buddy but it's gonna be a boy. I didn't want him to think a girl would replace his sister. He's around 6 months but not coming for another 2 weeks. I don't want Kernie to be lonely and I think a lil friend may help but again no one or nothing could ever replace my wonderful Pandie.

We don't get cats to replace those that have left us. There is no replacing.
When we do get another cat it's usually because we need one - I was like that - or for our remaining cat for company. Just remember to introduce them slowly. Give them your T-shirts and then swap them for them to get to know the smell and of course don't make a great fuss of the kitty and not should your children until they're settled. But I don't need to tell you that.
How is the little boy doing?

I've been in bed for 24 hrs with a stomach bug and he spent most of the time laying with me. I think he's doing a little better. Yea, I was going to put the new cat in my sons room for a few days and introduce gradually. It should be ok because my sons rooms door is always closed and he doesn't go in there much. I'm also taking Kernie to the vet 2moro to have him checked out. He still misses h

I hope everything goes well for Kernie while he's at the vet tomorrow and he doesn't get too stressed. If your vets are anything like mine they will make a big fuss of him.

Best wishes for your planned adoption; I hope your young boy brings a little light back in to Kernie's eyes and they settle quickly together .  Watching young cats play is an excellent form of therapy.  Will you visit and get to know your new little boy a couple of times before you bring him home?  

I don't think  I will be able to meet with him again because I start back work on Monday and their hours are during the day.  I think I just pick him up that Saturday.  I'm nervous but hoping it will go well.  I just want him to have a friend again.  He seems so bummed out and rightfully so he probably picks up on my sadness too even though I try and use my old "happy" voice with him but I admit I haven't been as vocal.  I still really miss my little girl and it will take me a long time.  I was actually hoping to adopt another female but all they seemed to have were males and the ladies at the rescue said I would probably be better off getting him a male because they tend to get along better.  I hope so.......I've done a lot of research while I was sick and I am going to intend on separating them for a week but all the while getting them acclimated with each other's scents and all that.  Only time will tell if this is what Kernie needs or not but something tells me he will be good with the new company.

I hope everything went ok for Kernie at the vet today.

When I got Mouse I had every intention of getting a female but Mouse was the only kitten around and I figured I was being silly just wanting females because that was what I'd had before.  Then, of course when I met him I was besotted anyway, and actually preferred the male cats in his breed because they are a bit more 'substantial' than the females who can be quite small and dainty.  I'm sure it will be fine when you meet him again.  I hope all goes well with the introductions, you already have a plan and if you follow the guidance in the Articles section on TCS you will all have a good chance of things going as well as they can.  Fingers crossed Kernie takes to having a new fur friend and it picks his mood up some once he gets to know this new kitty.

it actually went horrible he died on the way to the vet this is like the worst nightmare. I just can't believe this. we are all in shock he seemed upset on the way to the vet but never thought he would have a heart attack the vet said that they most likely both definitely had heart defects at birth I asked for a necropsy but she said no because she knows that's what it is it must have been a bad litter. I am in shock and extremely sad but I do know now that this is what it is so I have accepted it just like when humans have a bad heart it is the same with cats I have to realize that I gave them the best life for 11 months and I spoil them greatly and I loved them every day of their lives not just me but my children also

You asked for a necropsy but your vet said no?? I'm so sorry for your losses, but if you ever decided to get another pet I'd get another vet. Your vet should not deny you answers whether your pet is living or not.

I think I took him to the vet too soon after losing his sister

I am so, so sorry to hear this news.  Do not tell yourself you were doing the wrong thing going to the vet.  You were going to the vet to check he was OK.  You were worried about how he had been after loosing his sister: you were noticing changes in him and you were doing exactly the right thing taking him to the vet today.  This would almost certainly have happened whether you were on the way to the vet or not - perhaps when playing with him or if he heard a loud noise at home, or when you introduced the planned new kitten and then how much worse would you feel.  Believe what the vet has told you, believe they have experience in these things, and know the patterns of how things like heart defects present, and what you have been told is correct and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it.  May they rest in peace together.

What you did for these young cats was adore them: you brought them home from a shelter when they were sick little babies and gave them a loving home together, cared from them and brought them in to good health.  You gave them the best chance they could have for a happy and healthy life, and given what your vet is saying - they were with you and enjoying time in this life much longer than they would have done had you not adopted them and taken the care that you did. They could not have wanted for more and I am sure the last thing they would want would be for you to feel bad now after everything you have given to them.

You are precious and I hope that you and your family can find your way through this awful time to see a future offering love to more cats. I am upset just thinking about this and can not imagine how you feel. I do not know what you will decide about opening your home to the other kitten you had planned to introduce to your family but whatever you decide I am sure it will the right for you and your children.  

Thank u mservant. It helps to hear those words at a time like this. I am happy to have gotten to spend everyday with him since he lost his sister. He was rarely alone. I just can't believe this. I took him to have his heart checked and an annual 1 yr checkup and he was upset in the car but how could he be so upset that it killed him? The vet said it's like when u have a 25 yr old athlete who drops dead for no reason, it's a bad heart. But it's just all too overwhelming. I had a little bit of a bad feeling about him because of his sister and now I have my answer but not the answer I wanted RIP my loving baby boy

What your vet has said to you sounds very sensible.  Try to tell your self what he said every time a little doubt comes in to your mind.  

Thinking of you and your family.