Terrible event last night.....

I lost my precious 11 month old cat Pandie due to a freak accident.  I got Pandie and Kernie back in April when they were 11 wks old from a rescue shelter.  They were littermates.  Only 3 out of the 8 survived, they were found under a trailer and the whole littler had stomach parasites and were very weak.  But, when I got them they seemed healthy.

Last night around 9:40, we heard a loud crash and a large vase had crashed down from the high boy furniture piece in our living room.  I believe the male cat jumped up there and knocked it down and it crashed to the floor.  He ran upstairs but Pandie ran into the family room where we were and collapsed under the end table.  I pulled her out thinking she was in trouble and maybe it had fallen on her. She let out a hiss/yelp and died right then and there.  Literally suffered all of maybe 3 minutes before it was all over.  My kids were with me and witnessed everything.  My husband was working. My older son and I rushed over to the 24 hour emergency vet and I drove while he held her all the while praying that she'd make it but kind of knowing she had passed.

The vet said she showed no outward signs of trauma so it was either the vase fell on her or she had a heart attack from the loud noise scaring her to death.  The vet tech said it was possible she had a heart defect and we couldn't have known.  They asked if I wanted an autopsy but at the time I was majorly distraught and didn't want her cut open.  Now today, I called and wanted one because I wanted to know if it hit her or if it was a heart attack and she said it was too late

Either way, this is horrible.  She was my little buddy.  Her brother seems ok but I have no way of knowing if he is grieving for his sister, his littermate.  Can someone give advice on what to do?  Will he be okay?  Will he miss his sister?  Should I get a new cat?  If so, when?  How old?  And can it be another female?  I am in so much pain.  Any advice is appreciated.

The brother, Kernie, does seem depressed tonight and I'm getting worried........

I'm so sorry for the sudden loss of your little one.    I can only imagine how hurt you are right now. 

I'm not sure how to answer your questions about getting another kitty. I think you will need time to grieve, but at the same time, you'll just have to keep an eye on Pandie's brother and see how he does.

I am so sorry this happened.  It can be so incredibly difficult to lose a pet.  I am a new cat owner, so can't really give much advice. I'd think getting another female kitten after you've had time to grieve the loss of your little buddy would be a good option. But I really just wanted to share my condolences. 

How sad, I'm so sorry--what a loss for you all.  How do you  feel about getting another kitty right away?  

I would wait to get another cat. You need time to grieve. Your remaining cat may grieve. You can show the cat extra love and attention and that might helpl. But unless you cat stops eating, it will be okay.

Thanks for the replies.  Right now I'm heartbroken.  Her brother is showing more signs of depression.  He's just sitting around alone and he hid today and we searched everywhere for him.  Thank God I just fed him and he ate!  First thing he's eaten all day.  It's now evening and this would be their normal play time together.  He is so sad.  I guess I just never thought he would be like this because they were together since birth.  They were inseparable.  This is so difficult to deal with.

I always wanted two cats that's why I adopted the brother/sister back in April.  Kernie, the brother just seems so lost right now.  I'm going to call a vet tomorrow to get advice and see if there is anything I can do to help him.  He not only is sad but when he is not just sitting around he keeps looking everywhere and I swear he's looking for his sister  This is breaking my heart.  We are supposed to go to the mountains tomorrow to visit relatives but I just CAN'T leave him alone right now.  If I have to go I may leave my oldest with him because I don't think he should be alone.

I can't even imagine when we all go back to work and school next week  He will be alone all day.  I hope he gets better.  I do want another kittie now so he can have a friend but I don't know when and how old it should be.  He is 11 months so if I do in the future I think I would get a female kitten because maybe it would remind him of Pandie?  I don't know if it would make it better or worse...........

I am so sorry. I agree with everyone else to allow everyone time to grieve and make sure Kernie is eating. When the time is right, speak with the shelter about Kernie's personality, Pandie's personality, and who they think might be a good fit.

Oh my goodness, my heart is breaking for you and Kermie. What a horrible, freak accident. I am so sorry for your loss.

My experience is that cats do grieve, some more than others. All cats react to different situations in their own, unique way. From what I have witnessed, the grieving period for a young cat tends to be fairly short, by human standards. A week or two, and then they get distracted by everything going on around them. I have never had siblings, though. Overall, young cats are pretty resilient.

It is so heart breaking to watch because we don't really know what to do to make them feel better. Like the others have said, as long as he is eating and drinking, he will be ok. Maybe extra play sessions with an interactive toy like a feather on a stick or laser will help to cheer him and help reinforce the bond you and the kids have with him. And lots of cuddles, of course.

If you are not sure about adopting another cat right now, it is probably not yet time to do it. You will know when the time is right because it will feel right. Everyone needs time to grieve and to let the healing begin before opening up enough to accept a new member of the family.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Thank you very much. I will continue to watch him.  We have a trip to visit relatives for the day tomorrow but I am having my parents come over to watch him. I don't want to go but they don't understand because they think it's "only a cat".  But, it's not she was my best friend.  As for Kernie,  I can't have him be alone.  We played with him for a little but he turned away after a little.  I just think he is going through a lot and he probably sees how upset we are.  He has not used the litter box yet and I'm a little concerned.  But, maybe during the night he will go.  This personality change just started around 5 pm tonight and his sister died last night around 9:45.  So, I think that after all day of looking for her and maybe thinking she was still here, reality has set in.  This is so hard to watch because not only are we upset but seeing him like this is heartbreaking.

I hope that what you said about the grieving period for a young cat is short is true.  Because this is getting unbearable.  And, yes I don't have any plans on adopting anytime soon as I am still so depressed and missing Pandie.  But, we will see in time how he does.  I don't want to make things worse for him.  But, the sad part is that he was actually closer to her than she was to him...lol.   Sometimes it seemed like she couldn't be bothered with him and he was always trying to bother her.

Thanks everyone, it helps to talk to people who understand.  I feel like my heart is torn in pieces

I'm crying as I read your story, I know the horror and anguish of seeing your furbaby dying in front of you.Let us share your pain and try to let you know that you could have done nothing different to prevent your Pandie from dying, it was a horrible, horrible accident. Please know I'll pray for you and your family to find peace, try to remember her love and happiness, don't dwell on the parting. Time is all we have to dull the pain, and the day WILL come when you will think of her with smiles instead of tears. In the meantime she will wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge, safe and warm. RIP beautiful Pandie!

I don't know if this worked but I tried to upload a pic of my beautiful Pandie

This is a pic of them, inseparable.....

I'm so sorry.  I can't imagine how shocking and terrible this was for you and your family, and Kernie.     The pictures you posted are beautiful.  I want you to know that your story has helped me in that for weeks I have been trying to decide what to do about our nearly ceiling-high cat tree.  It is shaky and I am afraid it will fall.  Now my decision is clear; I will either nail it to the floor or take it down.  There's no way you could have imagined this terrible accident could happen to your cat.  But it has made me aware of something that I can do to prevent a possible tragedy.  Bless you; you'll be in my prayers.

I am crying as I read this. I lost my dog in June and my cat Peaches looked and grieved for her for a few weeks. Peaches didn't stop eating all together but she didn't eat much and would go around the house crying and searching for Abby. Peaches also slept more then usual and would search for her during the evening hours. It will take a while but like others said if he is still eating and drinking he should be okay after a week or two. I do know how upsetting it is to watch them cry and look around for their missing friend.

My thoughts and prayer go out to you and your family during this difficult time.

What a shock that must have been for all of you. I'm very sorry for your loss, and especially Kernie's. RIP, Pandie, you left far too soon.

Thanks everyone. I'm glad you're going to secure or take down the tree. If this tragedy helps even one person to second guess and prevent an accident then I'm glad I could help. And sorry as well for your loss of Abby

Stephie75, what an unbelievable tragedy, oh my gosh, I can imagine how devastated you are, the shock!! I mean come on.......wow. My heart truly goes out to you and your family.

When one of my 'cat room' cats recently had to be pts due to cancer (she was only 3...) I KNEW, her best friend who she was so exceptionally bonded with, Destiny (who is another of my 'cat room' cats) I brought her body home to bury her here, and set her wrapped up body down on the floor for Destiny to take a few minutes to smell, so she would not be searching and waiting for her to come back to her.

It just felt like the right thing to do for Destiny. I believe it was a good thing in her understanding. She still grieved for a bit, but as fate may have it, I brought another permanent resident to the cat room, Lucy Lu, a feral I rescued and had all her teeth removed, so she was not fit for TNR'ing. To my suprise, the 2 of them are like the bobsy twins now. 2 peas in a pod.

While I know this is not possible in your case, I thought, did you happen to have Pandie wrapped up in something on the way to the vet??  This would possibly help him understand.

Honestly, while there is little we can do to prevent the grieving time he will go through, I do however believe that getting another female kitten will distract him, and help ease his loss.

Poor guy

She should be young though, to ensure she will not come into the home and be bossy to him (as females can be!)

An ideal age for his companion would be about 4-6 months.

This made me cry I couldn't imagine how you feel- I am so sorry

Hi catlady, actually no her brother Kernie did not see the body. It all happened so quick. We rushed her to 24 hr emergency vet but she was already gone. I just can't get over it I am so shocked and depressed. My neighbor who has 6 cats told me to not wait and get him another companion. I think I will but it's just so hard right now I'm too sad. My kids are doing better, it's just me. I'm heartbroken Thank u all for your kind words.

I have just seen your thread and I am so sorry this has happened.  So many times we have had close scrapes in this house and my heart has been in my mouth every time, and can only imagine how you feel now. These accidents happen and it is impossible, no matter how hard we try, to make our homes completely safe or predict everything our cats get up to.  You alone will know if and when you are ready for another cat, and how it might affect Kernie if and when you feel he would cope with another cat in your home.  Take good care of yourself, and be aware that making decisions when you have experienced shocks like this is not always the best time.  I knew I needed another cat in my life as soon as I lost my previous girl but I had had a lot of time to prepare, and I had previously decided not to bring a new cat in to the home to be with her after her sister died suddenly: much as I would have loved a second cat again, after her initial grief and searching her behaviour told me she was happier on her own.  

I have added in a link here which looks at some of the signs and phases of bereavement you might experience with Kernie, and I hope this is of some help to you in making sense of Kernie's experience and feelings more able to cope with his needs while also working through your own.  

Feline bereavement | international cat care